by Laura Martin
‘Oh, Louisa,’ Robert murmured into her ear.
‘Oh, Louisa, stop?’ she teased him as he had her earlier.
‘Never.’
She felt him shift beneath her before he lifted her by the hips and positioned her over him. Slowly Louisa sank down on to him, only stopping when he was completely inside her. She loved the feeling of being in control, of being in charge of giving Robert pleasure.
She gasped as he slipped his hand back under her skirt and started to stroke her again. Louisa started to writhe in ecstasy and felt herself instinctively moving up and down. She started slowly, revelling in each thrust, enjoying each and every sensation. Then the sensations became overwhelming and Louisa gave in to the wild passion that had built up inside her.
Their bodies moved in perfect unison, coming together over and over again. Louisa looked down at Robert and felt love and desire all melt into one. Suddenly Louisa felt a jolt of pure pleasure radiate through her and she threw her head back. At exactly the same moment Robert stiffened and she felt him pulse inside her.
Louisa’s muscles all trembled and went weak and she found herself collapsing forwards onto Robert’s chest. She lay panting for a few seconds, trying to catch her breath and ride the waves of pleasure that were still buzzing through her body.
‘I hadn’t meant for your second time to be in a carriage,’ Robert said after a few minutes. ‘Just as I hadn’t meant for your first time to be on a sofa.’
Louisa raised her head and kissed him languidly on the lips.
‘You just couldn’t resist me?’ she asked jokingly.
‘Exactly.’ Robert was completely serious. ‘I fear I won’t be able to touch you when we’re out in public in case it precipitates a scandalous show.’
‘Maybe we just shouldn’t go out in public.’
‘What a fantastic idea,’ Robert said.
Louisa couldn’t think of anything more perfect than spending her days closeted in bed with Robert. Perhaps every so often they could emerge from the bedroom to have something to eat, but other than that they would be complete recluses.
They pulled up outside Robert’s house and Louisa tried in vain to make herself look vaguely respectable. After a few seconds she gave up.
‘I wouldn’t worry,’ Robert told her. ‘The servants have probably been taking bets for weeks on how long it would take us to get together.’
He hopped down from the carriage and reached up. Instead of helping her down to the ground he swept her into his arms and carried her up the steps. Louisa was giggling so much she didn’t even see the footman’s face as he opened the door.
‘Good evening, sir,’ Smith, the footman, said as they entered the hallway. ‘And you’ve brought Miss Turnhill home again. Wonderful to have you back with us, Miss Turnhill.’
‘Miss Turnhill is back for good,’ Robert said quietly, so only Louisa could hear.
‘Can I get you anything, sir?’
‘I’ve got all I need, thank you, Smith.’
And with that Robert whisked her up the stairs and into his bedroom. He kicked the door shut behind him and lowered her on to the bed.
‘I love you, Louisa,’ he said as he began to undress her for the second time that evening.
‘I love you, Robert.’
Chapter Twenty-Nine
Louisa didn’t think she’d ever been happier in her entire life. She opened her eyes to find sunlight streaming through the curtains and Robert gazing down at her.
‘Good morning,’ Robert said, leaning in for a leisurely kiss. ‘Did I tell you that I loved you?’
Louisa pretended to consider the question for a minute or two.
‘I’m not sure. Maybe last night someone might have declared their love for me...’ She trailed off as he covered her mouth with his own.
‘How did you sleep?’ he asked.
‘Perfectly.’
She’d lain awake in his arms for a few minutes before drifting off into the most contented sleep ever.
‘I didn’t have any nightmares,’ he said quietly.
Louisa turned over so she was facing him directly. ‘I will do everything in my power to stop you from having another nightmare again.’
‘Anything?’ Robert asked.
‘Anything.’ She put a finger to his lips just before they could cover hers. ‘But first I need some breakfast. I’m ravenous.’
Robert groaned, then conceded. ‘Actually, I’m starving myself.’
They both got out of bed and reluctantly started to dress. Louisa was amazed she didn’t feel self-conscious about being naked in front of Robert in the cold light of day, but every time she caught him staring she could see the love and desire in his eyes.
‘Ready for breakfast?’ Robert asked when he’d finished securing the fastenings on Louisa’s dress.
‘I hope there’s poached eggs,’ Louisa said dreamily, her stomach starting to gurgle in anticipation of the meal.
They descended the stairs arm in arm, walking past Smith the footman and trying to ignore his delighted grin.
‘I’ll tell cook you’re ready for breakfast, sir,’ Smith said once they were seated, ‘and I’ll ask her to make it a hearty one.’
Louisa could see Robert was too happy to even think about reprimanding the footman for his suggestive comment.
‘I should send a note to Major Dunton,’ Louisa said as she sat down.
‘I think Dunton is clever enough to work out what happened,’ Robert said with a grin. ‘And that his ploy to make me see what I was missing wasn’t really needed.’
‘I suppose you did work it out on your own eventually,’ Louisa murmured, closing her eyes as Robert took her hand and planted a kiss on her wrist.
While they waited for breakfast they sipped on rich coffee and held hands. Louisa felt herself shiver as Robert traced a pattern around her palm and wondered whether she had the strength to skip breakfast and pull Robert back upstairs.
As she was contemplating doing just that Smith reentered the room with the first of the dishes.
‘A letter arrived for you earlier this morning, Miss Turnhill,’ the footman said as he placed the white envelope before her.
‘Who delivered it?’ Robert asked.
‘I’m not sure. It was just lying inside the door and when I looked out there wasn’t anyone to be seen.’
Louisa eyed the fancy script on the front of the envelope with curiosity as she tucked into her poached egg. After a few bites she put down her fork and opened the envelope. Next to her Robert picked up the morning paper and began to read.
Inside was a letter, addressed to her. She flicked through to the last page and was surprised to find it signed not with a name, but just ‘a friend’.
Intrigued, Louisa pushed her plate away and began to read.
20th May
Dear Miss Turnhill,
Although what I have to write may seem unpleasant, I am writing only as a friend. I want to assure you I have your best interests at heart. As a woman who has been hurt before I wish to save you the pain and heartache betrayal can bring.
I cannot reveal my identity to you, but suffice it to say I am a woman who knows Lord Fleetwood intimately.
Louisa felt the blood drain from her cheeks, but forced herself to read on.
We were acquainted before Lord Fleetwood went off to war and more recently we decided to renew our friendship. Lord Fleetwood often spoke of you and it was clear from the very start he cared deeply about you, as a guardian should for his ward. It was during one of our many discussions about how best to deal with the unfamiliar demands of having a ward that the subject of your past came up.
Louisa thought she might be sick. Surely this was some cruel joke.
I wish to assure you I would never re
veal the details of your past to anyone, but as someone who cares deeply for Lord Fleetwood I urge you to consider what such a revelation would mean for him. Although he has kept on the edges of society for the past few years he will no doubt one day wish to return to his peers and embrace the privileges of his rank.
If you were to continue your relationship with him and it were to be revealed you were a resident in the Lewisham Asylum, the damage to you both would be irreparable.
Louisa took a sharp breath and out of the corner of her eye she could see Robert looking at her with concern. She forced her eyes to remain on the letter and continued to read.
And the truth will come out. Lord Fleetwood let the details of your past slip to me—before long he will reveal it to someone else. Please consider your next actions carefully and remember it is not only you who will be disgraced by the secrets you keep.
Yours sincerely,
A Friend
Louisa felt her hands start to shake and the panic rise up inside her. Someone knew. Someone knew all the sordid details about her past. And this mystery woman was saying Robert had been the one to tell her.
Louisa tried to think rationally. She tried to tell herself that Robert wouldn’t do that, that he wouldn’t tell anyone about her past. She stole a glance at him and saw the reassuring expression on his handsome face.
‘Louisa, what’s wrong?’ he asked, his words heavy with concern.
She nearly handed the letter over to him, but at the last moment changed her mind. If Robert hadn’t told this woman, then how had she found out? Only a very few people knew about her incarceration in the Lewisham Asylum. Certainly if someone was interested enough they might have been able to find out where she had been all of last year, but why would they bother?
Smith reentered the room.
‘This was left outside, sir, with a note asking for it to be delivered to Miss Turnhill.’
Smith handed over a folded newspaper. Louisa set the letter down on the table and took the newspaper with shaking hands. The morning was getting stranger and stranger.
She opened out the paper and scanned the black ink, realising after a few seconds it was one of the weekly gossip pages published anonymously and devoured by the ton. These gossip pages contained no real news, just scandals of who was having affairs with whom and who had committed a society faux pas.
‘What is it, Louisa?’ Robert asked.
Louisa’s eyes rested on the headline of by far the largest article in the paper.
Lord Fleetwood’s Ward a Lunatic
She felt the bottom fall out of her world. She didn’t even need to read the rest of the article, the headline was enough.
Louisa’s chest felt unbearably tight, as though some large animal were sitting on her, crushing her. She could feel the blood pounding in her head. Her vision was going blurry and her fingertips were starting to tingle.
‘Louisa, you’re worrying me,’ Robert said, reaching out to take her hand.
Louisa shied away from him, pushed her chair back from the table and stumbled to her feet.
She needed air. She felt as though she couldn’t breathe. Unsteadily she made her way out into the hall and towards the front door.
Robert followed her, reaching out to try to take her by the arm.
‘Don’t touch me,’ Louisa said quietly.
The look of hurt on his face was nearly enough to bring Louisa to her senses. Nearly, but not quite.
‘Leave me alone, Robert,’ Louisa said, hearing the mounting hysteria in her voice.
‘Never.’
‘Please, if you care for me at all, leave me alone.’
‘What’s wrong?’
She shook her head, unable to put into words all the awful thoughts that were spiralling through her mind.
‘Read the paper,’ she said instead, then turned and fled out of the door.
Louisa ran. She picked up all the layers that made up her skirt and ran. She knew she had to get out of sight as soon as possible, otherwise Robert would follow her, convince her to go back with him. That was the last thing she needed right now.
She let her instincts take over and threaded her way through the streets. She splashed through puddles and dodged between groups of strolling people. She didn’t care if they recognised her and wondered what she was doing. The whole world knew her dirty little secret now, nothing she could do would make it any worse.
* * *
Louisa must have run flat out for at least fifteen minutes before the hammering of her heart made her slow to catch her breath. She glanced over her shoulder to check if anyone was following her. She half expected to see Robert striding down the street, ready to whisk her into his arms.
Panting, Louisa made her way to an empty doorway and lowered herself onto the step. She sat with her head in her hands and tried to figure out exactly what had happened.
The whole world would now think she was mad. It wouldn’t matter to them that she had been wrongly imprisoned, that her guardian had sent her away to get his hands on her money. Everyone would just see the fact that she’d spent over a year in a madhouse and assume she was insane.
‘I don’t care,’ she said quietly and immediately knew she was lying to herself. She did care. She cared more than she would ever admit. The last few weeks had been like a fairy tale. She’d been Louisa the debutante, not Louisa the inmate. For the first time in her adult life she’d felt normal. It had been amazing. She should have known it wouldn’t last.
Louisa glanced down the street again just to check Robert wasn’t striding towards her. It was empty. She didn’t know whether to be relieved or upset.
It was the letter that was really bothering her. Of course the announcement in the gossip pages was awful. She hated the idea of people talking about her over their breakfast tables, but she’d be able to cope with that if it hadn’t have been for the letter.
She wondered who had sent it. And why. What possible reason could they have for telling her that her past would catch up with her and hurt Robert in the process?
Louisa tried to figure out who this woman could be. She had said she was intimate with Robert, hinted that they had discussed Louisa and her past as one would only with a lover. Maybe they’d discussed her past and how to deal with her across a pillow after they’d made love.
Louisa felt the tears start to fall down her cheeks. That was what hurt the most; she’d been convinced Robert loved her. He’d told her he did. He’d looked into her eyes when they’d made love and made her feel special. But how special was she to him? Had he looked at this other woman the same way before revealing the details of Louisa’s past to her? Perhaps they’d cooked up the idea of Robert seducing Louisa, marrying her, together, as a way to keep a lid on the scandal.
Louisa stood suddenly, unable to take any more. Her imagination was whirring and each different scenario was worse than the last.
Slowly she started to walk down the street, her chin almost resting on her chest and her eyes fixed on the ground. She didn’t know where she was going just as she didn’t know the truth of how the details of her past had come to grace the pages of the society newspaper, but she did know she was once again truly alone.
Chapter Thirty
Robert stared after Louisa’s fleeing form for thirty seconds before realising the implications of the situation. Louisa was running alone through the streets of London. In a few seconds she would disappear around a corner and he might not be able to find her.
Letting out a string of expletives, he dashed out the front door, down the steps and sprinted along the street, following Louisa. She’d rounded a corner and was out of his line of sight for ten seconds. Robert crashed around the same corner and saw a flash of colour as her skirt swished around the next street. Robert picked up his pace, knowing he couldn’t afford to
lose sight of her. The last time she’d run off into the streets of London, she’d been attacked, and if he hadn’t come upon her, who knew what awful things would have happened.
Robert dashed around the next corner and felt his heart pound in his chest. He couldn’t see her. He scanned left and right, desperately trying to catch sight of her retreating form, the swish of her skirt or any clue as to where she had gone.
With panic rising inside him, Robert jogged to the end of the street, checking each side road for any sign of Louisa. He felt cold dread at the thought of Louisa on her own in London.
‘Have you seen a young woman, dressed in blue?’ He grabbed hold of an elderly gentleman. ‘She was running?’
The old man gave him a disgusted look and shook Robert’s hand from his arm. Robert moved on to the next couple.
‘Have you seen a young woman, dressed in blue?’ he asked, praying one of them would nod and point him in the right direction.
No one had seen her, or at least no one was admitting to having seen her. He supposed they probably thought him a violent husband, searching for the wife who finally had plucked up the courage to run from him.
Robert was desperate now. He jogged from street to street, his head turning from side to side. Deep down he knew he had lost her, but he couldn’t quite admit it to himself.
* * *
After nearly an hour of frantic searching Robert had to accept he didn’t have a clue where Louisa was. He felt helpless; he was meant to protect her and he didn’t even know where she had gone.
He started to retrace his steps back home, harbouring the faint hope Louisa might have changed her mind about whatever had spooked her and returned before him. Maybe she would be sitting at the breakfast table, sipping coffee, waiting for him to join her. Robert allowed himself that glimmer of hope, but he knew it wasn’t going to happen.