by CS Patra
He had yet to tell Carolina about what had happened. Deep down, he still didn't understand any of it. Marie hadn't drop off any messages to him so he assumed that he was safe for now. However, nothing was going to save him from this party. He doused his cologne on, snapped his cufflinks on his cuffs, and ran a comb through his hair. He looked perfect on the outside, but didn't feel that way inside. He didn't even know if this family he was with was the real one.
“Ash, I’m worried about you.” Carolina said when they were Skyping earlier that day. “You aren’t seeing someone else, are you?”
“God, no!” Ash exclaimed. “You know you’re the only one for me. It’s just that…I’m concerned about myself. There are things about me that I’m not sure on.”
“What kind of things?”
He sighed. “I don’t feel complete, Carolina. I feel like my parents hid so much from me. I’m trying to put the pieces together right now. When I have a definite answer, I will tell you. I promise.” He looked out the window and saw that guests were starting to come. “I have to go. My parents are throwing another party for their colleagues. I can’t wait to see you again.”
“Try to behave around them, Ash. Don’t pick a fight with your parents.”
“I hardly ever do that.” Ash joked. “Talk to you soon, Caro.”
The one thing that probably hurt more than anything else was that he didn't even know if he and Harrison were related. Out of everyone in his family, he was the closest to his late brother. Did Harrison have any clue that Ash had probably been created in a petri dish? Did he care about that or did their parents never tell him? How would Harrison react if he learned about it? Would he hate Ash or would he help him through it? It just left him with more questions than answers.
He made his way downstairs, dragging his feet down each step. He stopped a few times to look at the pictures and paintings on the walls. There was his family, looking proud and regal as usual. They were wealthy and well off and they wanted the world to know it. His parents always stood up straight and smiled like they were aware of people watching them. It was there way of saying that they were higher above anyone else. In some pictures, there were younger versions of Harrison and Ash. Ash looked so scared and small compared to his brother. Both of them had the same dark hair, blue eyes, and perfectly shaped noses that they got from their father. Unlike Ash, Harrison looked confident in front of the camera. He was smiling and laughing for the photographer while Ash tried to hide behind his mother. They were the perfect family.
Perfect families. Perfect humans. All of a sudden, none of this sounded perfect anymore.
"Ashton! I'm not waiting for you all day to come down!" He heard mother call him.
"I'm on my way!" Ash let her know.
"Ashton, stand up straight." His father scolded him. "How much cologne did you put on? I can smell you from a mile away."
"You're the ones who bought me that cheap cologne." Ash pointed out. "I'm just using what you give me."
"Please, Ashton, we do not need your attitude right now." His mother said, forcing herself to smile at the guests. "Please try to be polite. We don't want to lose these deals here."
"Well, if it isn't little Ash!" Mrs. McGuire greeted him by giving him a tight hug. "Oh, you were so little the last time I saw you. You've grown into a handsome young man now. Let me look at you." She took a step back and put her hands on Ash's arms. "Mmm, you are looking more and more like your brother each day. Poor thing. It was tragic what happened to him."
Ash took a deep breath and tried not to lash out. The woman didn't mean any harm by that. "Yeah, it's been a long time."
"Vivienne, Harrison, you've done a great job raising this boy." Mrs. McGuire went on. "He's so intelligent as well. I can't believe that you're only sixteen and halfway through college. You will make a fine doctor one day."
Ash kept forcing himself to smile. He would have told her that he was studying mechanical engineering, but his parents were there. "Thank you, ma'am."
He endured this for the next minutes. People gushed over how smart and handsome he had become. More talked about how much he looked like Harrison and it made him want to die inside. They probably meant this as a good thing, but to him it felt like they were comparing him. Harrison was the perfect child. Ash was just his copy. Ash was always going to be in Harrison's shadows, no matter how he tried to stand out. It was getting so annoying that Ash took about eighteen crab cakes to eat.
"Ashton, really?" His mother snapped when she saw his plate. "Save some of that for the other guests."
"We have a ton more crab cakes, Mother. Everyone will get their share." Ash promised. "I need to eat something. I'm starving over here."
"Well, if you must eat, take something small." She took his plate from him and handed him some spring rolls. "Please try to behave yourself around our guests. This matters to your father. Do not blow this."
Ash rolled his eyes. "Why can't Dad make these deals on his own? Why does he need me?"
"We just need you to be around and act pleasant towards people. I know it's difficult for you, but try. Try to be kind for once in your life." She looked around. "Dinner will be starting soon. If you go somewhere, let me know."
"All right." He promised. "I will be on my best behavior. May I at least eat my spring rolls in my room? I promise I will bring my plate down and I will mingle with the guests. Is that okay?”
"Yes, you may." She said. "Do not take off your clothes though and don't stain them. You know how much they cost."
"Money has never been an issue for us."
"It doesn't matter. Those are nice clothes and I don't want to see crumbs or oil marks on them."
Ash dragged himself up the steps and went into his room. His blueprints were on his desk and he was getting ready to start building it. However, since he had been told not to ruin his clothes, he would have to wait till tomorrow. He was so bored by all this that he didn't notice the CD on his desk.
It was just tough being the second child to Harrison and Vivienne Blackwell. He didn't really have his own identity here. He was just Harrison Blackwell II's brother. It didn't help that Harrison died so now everyone was banking all their hopes and dreams on Ash. Since he was still underage, his parents didn't want him living on his own right now. He couldn't wait till he turned eighteen so he could finally leave. There, he would be free to study how he wanted and build everything his heart desired. He really wanted his own home. That would also mean no more of these silly parties to attend.
If only you were here, Harrison, I wouldn't be dealing with this. Ash thought as he looked at the mess on his desk. I can't wait till those battles. I'm going to go all Iron Man in this competition. No one will ever believe it.
His idea, if he could pull it off, would be one of his greatest inventions ever. As he tried to straighten his desk out, he came across the CD rom. There was nothing written on it so he had no idea if it was his CD or someone else's. "What the hell is this?"
Curious, he started up his computer and decided to see what was on this CD. There was only one file on it and it had the name "Harrison" written. Frowning, he clicked on it and wondered why there was a file about his brother here.
There was nothing but an empty room at first and then someone burst in through the door. Ash nearly fell out when he recognized his older brother, hands and face covered in blood. Harrison looked worried as he ran in. "It's over! It's over!"
"What is over? What happened?" A woman off screen asked him. It didn't sound like the same woman that Ash had found in his room earlier. "What happened to you?"
"It doesn't matter what happened to me. This is over." Harrison said, looking down at his bloodied knuckles. "We can't keep doing this anymore. I don't want to put my family danger especially not Ash. You must promise me that you can't tell them about this. I don't want anyone to know. For Ash's sake, he must not know what I've been up to."
Ash squinted as he tried to make the woma
n's shadow. Harrison handed her a bag of things over. "Destroy all this as quickly as possible. Make sure nothing is around. I don’t want anyone finding out what I found out. I don’t want them to know. Do it for yourself if not for anyone else.”
"What?" Ash whispered.
"Why are you doing this?" The woman off screen asked. "What did they find out?"
"They know everything." Harrison gulped. "They will come after Ash unless I disappear. You cannot tell my family what I'm doing. Please. Get rid of the evidence and I will get rid of myself. You know nothing, okay? If they ask you anything, you don't know what happened. We never had this conversation."
"...All right." The woman whispered. "What are you going to do?"
"I'm going to disappear." Harrison replied. “I don’t have a choice in this matter. I have to keep Ash safe at whatever cost.” Then he disappeared from camera. “It was a pleasure knowing you. Please do not say a word to my family about it. I need to make this look like an accident. It will be easier for them to accept.”
The video ended at that point and Ash was frozen in place. He was breathing heavy as he pulled out the CD and shut off his computer. Then he sent a text to everyone else, saying the same thing.
[I need to see you guys. NOW!]
He didn't understand why Harrison had killed himself or why he was covered in blood. All he knew was that his brother had died to protect him. Grabbing his wallet and keys, Ash stormed down the stairs and started to head out the door.
"Ashton, where are you going?" His mother demanded.
"I have to get out of here." Ash murmured. "I need to go."
"Go where? Ash, we haven't had_"
"I have to go!" Ash snapped, grabbing his coat and slamming the door behind him. He didn't care if it made him look bad in front of everyone. I needed to get out of that house and reflect on what he had seen. His brother admitted that he wanted to die. His brother's accident was actually a suicide. It was just too creepy and hard to deal with.
What did Harrison do and what did he know? Did it have anything to do with Project 99? He had no idea where that CD had come from or why it took him so long to find it. He didn't know who the woman in the video was or why someone recorded this. He just wanted some time with the only people he could talk to.
His phone went off and he saw that it was a message from Pam.
[What happened, honey?]
Quickly, he sent her a message back.
[I think it has to do with Project 99.I need to talk to someone. Are you available?]
Pam didn't take very long to reply.
[Yes. I'm at home with the kids, but you can come over. My door is open.]
He was grateful that she was around at that moment. He just needed one person to talk to. He didn't know how much Pam had investigated Project 99 but she was trustworthy. She gave off that vibe that made him want to tell her everything. He didn't even get that feeling with his own mother. Checking to make sure that he had the CD, he backed out of the driveway and drove down to Pam's place.
My brother killed himself. It was never an accident. He died because he wanted to. Those were the thoughts that were swirling around in his mind. He didn’t even know if he was going down the right road to Pam’s house. He had the directions in the GPS but he was barely looking at it or listening to it. He just wanted to get out of the house and possibly get out of town too.
He had nothing left over here.
Chapter 20 – Pam
Ash showed up at Pam's doorstep fifteen minutes after his last text. She had been making vegetable lasagna when the doorbell rang. When she saw him, she almost didn't recognize his face. He was handsome as ever and well-dressed, but his blue eyes seemed empty. It was thought he had witnessed a murder and could barely get his words out. Once she opened that door, he made his way in and dropped down on her sofa.
"I saw him, Pam!" He began. "I saw my brother in his last minutes! It's a lie!"
"What?" Pam rushed over to his side and tried to calm him down. "I thought you brother died in an accident."
"No, he killed himself." He explained. "Harrison was in this video with another woman and he was telling her that he needed to disappear. He said he was doing it to protect the family. I...I didn't really understand that part. It just feels so twisted. Maybe he knew more about Project 99 than anyone else did. Maybe he found out something that he wasn't supposed to know. Whatever the reason, I just...I..." He began panting and closed his eyes. “I’m sorry. I’m so overwhelmed that I can’t think straight anymore. I’m having a hard time grasping this.”
"Hang on, hon. Let me get you a glass of water." Pam said, listening to him pant. "Try to drink it down, okay? I called the others as soon as I got your text. I had a feeling you might want to talk to everyone."
"I need to talk to them." Ash said. "If I didn't believe in all this before, I believe in it now. I believe someone was after my family and that's why my brother killed himself. I just wish I knew who the woman in the video was. I could ask her why he did this. He had blood on his hands and face, but he wasn't injured."
Pam came back with the water. "You think he might have gotten into a fight?"
"It doesn't sound like something he'd do." Ash took a sip of the water and tried to calm down. "I feel like I have a million more questions now. I wonder if my mother and father really knew what happened. If so, why keep it from me?"
"Well, let's wait for the others to come. If you want, you can eat with us. I know it's just lasagna, but you need to eat something."
"I'm not that hungry." Ash murmured.
"Just have one slice, okay? Eat it to keep your strength up."
Ash shrugged and pretended that he wasn't hungry, but he soon found himself downing three pieces of lasagna. He didn't even realize how much he had eaten until Pam came to clear his plate. "You were definitely hungry."
"Thanks." He sighed, looking down at his phone. "It seems like my father is texting me. Do you mind if I give him a call?"
"Go right ahead. My kids won't eat until half an hour later." Pam said. "They're taking their baths right now and getting ready. You take as long as you need. Take the living room if you want some privacy."
He nodded and dialed the number. Pam was trying her best not to eavesdrop on the conversation, but she couldn't help hearing bits and pieces of it. "Hello? Dad, it's me...yes, I know what I didn't wasn't right...I'm not trying to ruin your life. It's just that...hey, let me explain...you're not letting me say a thing! Father, I left because of...I swear I wasn't causing a scene on purpose! Something happened, okay? It has to do with Harrison." There was a long pause. "I'm not trying to use my brother in any means, Father. I just found out...no, I'm not jealous of my dead brother! Will you stop that?!" Another pause. "Yes, I will come back home before midnight. You don't need to wait up. Okay...okay...bye."
Pam was setting the table for her children as Ash came back. "How is your family doing?"
Ash sighed and looked down at his phone. "They're the same as always. My father spent ten minutes yelling at me and blaming me in case our business fails. I fail to see how as I'm not part of this business. He's a doctor and a wine expert and I have no desire in either of those things."
"Why don't you tell him that?"
"Tell him?" Ash chuckled at that. "Oh, you make it sound so easy. I have done my share of talking to my parents and telling them my desires. It doesn't matter to them. It never mattered to them. I'm just the child that got left behind once my brother killed himself. I still don't understand why he was so scared. What made him decide that death was the right answer?"
"Oh, honey, I wish I could help you with that." Pam murmured. "I know I'm asking you for too much, but do you think I could watch the video? Maybe I might be able to figure out what was plaguing your brother all this time."
Ash held up the CD. "That's why I brought it. I want you all to see it. Tell me what I'm missing from all this. Maybe my emotions are getting in the way
and I'm not seeing the bigger picture. Maybe he is giving his reasons away and I'm not hearing it."
Pam put her arms around him and pulled him in close. "Don't torture yourself thinking about it. It's not going to do anyone any good. You're not going to get any answers that way."
"I know." He sighed. "I should be stronger than this."
"No, I don't mean that you can't be upset. I know it's a lot to take in. You just found out something that you didn't know."