“Talking about entertainment, how was yours last night?” Hawk asked, continuing to flip through the book.
“I don’t think that’s appropriate work conversation.” This was definitely work, and he was most definitely not my friend.
“That doesn’t sound very good. I’m not surprised you don’t want to discuss it.”
Great. I was now forced to either keep quiet and confirm his belief—which, unfortunately, was true—or elaborate and confirm his belief anyway.
I’d have to say nothing. I would rise above. I could do it. I’d fly like an eagle above the riff raff as I read the same passage for the fourth time.
“That bad, huh? I didn’t want to tell you, but he did seem a bit dull.”
“He’s not dull. He’s very interesting.” And the regal eagle was swooping down to catch some fish in the muddy swamp. So much for rising above.
“I’m sure he can talk about something. Did you discuss drink recipes? Did he try to hold your hand while you sipped cocoas? He doesn’t seem the type to grab your hair and throw you up against the building.”
Had he been watching us? Or was Gregor that predictably boring? I glanced around the office, wondering how many people were listening. Zab and Musso seemed to be working. Poor Bibbi had her hand on her chin, staring at Hawk with unadulterated lust.
“I have a lot of work to do, and I’m already very tired from my night out. And as I said, this isn’t appropriate work conversation.”
“Sure. You must be wiped out after getting in right after moonrise. How many hours of sleep could you even squeeze in? Ten? Eleven?”
I ignored him. There was nothing else that would help my case anyway. He was right. I didn’t know when moonrise was, but I did know how early I’d gotten back, and apparently he did as well. He wasn’t in the office when I’d come in, but he had something rigged to let him know who walked in this place at all times. I’d have to figure out a way around that.
He stood. I kept my eyes firmly on the papers in front of me.
Bibbi let out a sigh as Hawk left. She always did as he departed. She was too young to realize what she was getting into, even if she was my age. There was young on the calendar and then there was young and green. I’d never seen a pasture in spring after a good week of rain that could compete with how green this girl was. Hawk would chew her up, if he took more than a second to notice her.
I was going to have to have a talk with that girl. It was almost noon. Perfect timing.
“Bibbi, you want to go get cocoa with me?”
She glanced up, looking about as if she wasn’t sure I was speaking to her.
“Do you want to go?” I said, walking to her desk.
“You mean you want me to go get you cocoa?” she asked.
Okay, I might not have thrown off the most welcoming vibes when I’d first met her, but had I been that bad? Maybe it was that magic caste system. Did she think I wouldn’t want to go anywhere with a Whimsy?
“I’m asking if you want to go with me.”
“Yes!” She shot out of her seat, knocking it over in her excitement. Then she knocked her basket over in the process of picking the chair up.
“Bibbi, go. I got it,” Zab said, sweeping up all the slips.
“Okay,” she said, scrambling to get her jacket.
“So how’s it going? Do you like it at the broker’s office?” I asked as we crossed the street.
“Oh, it’s great.”
“Do you like working for Hawk?”
Her smile dimmed a little, and she nodded.
“He isn’t mean to you, is he?” I asked.
“No. Not at all.”
“Then what is it?”
Her face turned bright red. “I wish he’d look at me the way he looks at you,” she said.
Since I was the only one here, she had to be speaking to me. Still, I glanced around to make sure. Nope, just the two of us. Shit. Now I had to say something back.
“He doesn’t look at me that…” That sounded like a bald-faced lie, considering the way Hawk had just looked at me. This was really not the way I’d planned on starting this conversation. “He’s not the type of man you should want to look at you like that. He’s not someone you can have a real relationship with.”
She nodded. At least she wasn’t utterly delusional about the situation.
She paused outside the shop. “Just so you know, I didn’t always like him. He was damn near mean when I first started working here. Barely tolerable. When he hired me, he said in passing that it was driving him crazy that no one was sitting at that table. Then, my first day, he kept looking at my table and nearly growled at me. If he didn’t pay well, I would’ve quit that day. He was scary and moody and just unlikeable. He was pretty much what everyone said he was, but he wasn’t in that much, and, like I said, the pay was good.”
“Then what happened?” I was shaking my head.
“One day he came in and wasn’t so scary anymore. He seemed happier. He was joking with Musso and Zab a lot and seemed like a different person. You wouldn’t understand because you showed up a week or so after he stopped being so angry.” Her eyebrows scrunched together. “Wait, you did know him before, though, right? Was he like that when you met him too? Is that why you’re still mad at him?”
She kept staring at me, waiting for an answer.
“Yeah, no, he was like that with me too.” Had he really been different after I was gone? It made no sense, considering he’d forced me out. Then when I finally got back, he’d tried to force me out again. Maybe he was happy because he needed help with the wall? There was no way he was happy I was back, not when he was trying to force me out.
24
The broker house was closed for the night, and Gregor would show up any second. Hopefully he’d be the only one. Now that it was empty, the coast was clear. I took a look in the mirror, shifted the dress, fixed the laces on my boots, and gave my hair a fluff.
I shot downstairs to grab a quick tea, but there was other business to handle first. Helen’s gears churned as soon as I stepped inside the office. It was the perfect opportunity.
“Helen, do you know why I got the black cloud?”
Her gears stopped churning. Well, that was a “no” if I’d ever heard one. Helen knew a lot but apparently didn’t want to share this tidbit. Maybe there were rules about what she could share?
“Fine. You can’t or won’t say. Maybe you’re friends with whoever doles out the black clouds. Can you tell me who put Braid and Spike up to picking me up in Salem?”
Still silence.
“Are you giving me the silent treatment?” Why wasn’t Helen talking to me?
The door opened behind me and Hawk walked in.
He leaned a hip on the counter as his eyes took in the extra fluff of my hair and then seemed to get stuck at my glossed lips.
“Waiting for Gregor?” He raised a brow.
“Yes.” He already knew Gregor was coming, so no use in denying it. I wouldn’t clarify our relationship, either. I didn’t ask him where he was most of the time. He didn’t have a right to know my every move.
“I don’t like him,” he said.
“I do.” I crossed my arms, trying to stare him down, knowing it was nearly impossible. He didn’t run from conflict. He wasn’t made that way.
“What is it that you want from me?” I asked. “You force me out and then force me back here. You make it impossible to get a job and then give me one. Now you want to dictate who I see? What do you want? Just tell me.”
He walked over to me, and before I had the chance to argue anymore, his hands were on my waist, hoisting me to the shelf that brought me eye level with him.
His lips were on mine as his hands moved to my hips, tugging me closer to him, his cock coming flush against my core as he stepped in between my legs.
His air became mine as he flexed his hips just enough to cause another gasp from my lips as my head fell back. This, right here, was what I’d feared. The seco
nd he touched me, all logic disappeared. All I could think of was the brush of his lips against the flesh of my neck.
I didn’t push him away. I clung to him as if we were longtime lovers. I burned inside as if he were meant for me, and only me.
When he pulled away, I gripped the wood I was sitting on to not yank him back to me.
I hopped off the shelf, expecting to see that same annoyed expression.
He was smiling.
“What do—”
Gregor was at the front door, knocking.
Hawk looked at the door. “Are you going to invite your date in?”
I narrowed my eyes at him, holding back what I wanted to say.
Gregor walked in and darted a look at Hawk and then back to me. “Everything okay?” he asked.
As much as I wished there was a little more heat or spine in him when he looked at Hawk, how could there be? Hawk wasn’t normal. I couldn’t judge Gregor for not being a lunatic, could I?
Hawk glanced at Gregor like he was looking at a bug he was too lazy to step on.
Hawk turned back to me. “Yes, Tippi, is everything okay? Is there a problem?”
I moved toward Gregor. “Everything is great. There’s no problem here.”
“Be ready at five tomorrow,” Hawk said. “We have things to do.”
Gregor reached out to me, touching my side. Hawk’s gaze went right to it, and now the heat was there in spades.
I walked fast enough that Gregor’s hand lost its perch as I made my way outside. The last thing I wanted was Gregor’s blood on my hands.
“Sorry. This should only take a second, but if I don’t do it, there’ll be hell to pay,” I said as Gregor and I walked back into the empty broker’s office. As much as I didn’t want any chance of dealing with Hawk again, if Dusty didn’t get her second cocoa of the day, we’d all pay for it tomorrow. “Dusty, I’ve got your cocoa,” I said.
Suddenly, a few feet away, a little light grey bunny hopped over.
Taking the lid off, I placed the cup on the ground as Gregor watched on. The bunny hopped over, and its nose grazed my hand before its little tongue darted out and licked me. I gave her a few pets on the head and said, “I’ll be back in a little bit.”
I straightened. “Okay, we can go now.” The sooner I got Gregor out of the office, the better. If it wasn’t for Dusty, I wouldn’t have brought him back at all.
“Is that dust bunny your pet or something?” Gregor asked as we left the office.
“No. I just feed her cocoa. I occasionally pet her.” I might find her in my bed occasionally, sleeping on top of me. “She might be.”
“That’s cool. You know, interesting.”
Gregor brushed his hand against mine as we walked away from the broker’s office for the second time, trying to see if I’d bite. I switched my cocoa to that side.
“Are you okay? I know you said everything was good, but it didn’t look that way back in the office. You looked out of sorts.”
His eyes were soft, and his voice filled with concern. He was sensitive, caring, and everything Hawk wasn’t. He was good. If there wasn’t a spark, there could be eventually. I needed to train myself to like the right boys, not the man who people crossed the road for.
“Yeah, I’m fine. It’s just hard to work with him sometimes. He doesn’t always respect boundaries.”
“In what way?” His voice grew an edge under all that softness.
“Oh, no, not like that.” Was I an idiot? How could I even say something like that to him? Gregor wouldn’t fare well against Hawk. He was too nice. You had to be a certain type of hard to have a chance against Hawk, and Gregor’s slight edge wouldn’t cut it.
“Then how? You can talk to me. You can trust me, Tippi. I would never hurt you.”
The first night I ever came to the broker house, I’d asked Hawk if I could trust him. He’d implied it wouldn’t matter what he said. It would mean nothing. He’d almost had me believing his crazy ways.
“He just has a belief in the way certain things should be that doesn’t always line up. He gets frustrated.”
Actually, plain old mad, and the list seemed to go on and on. He was mad I was in Xest. Mad I was going to get a job. Mad I couldn’t protect myself, even though I was working on that.
“Tippi, talk to me. I won’t judge you,” Gregor said.
The streets were quiet tonight, but even as the sneerers occasionally passed, Gregor never seemed fazed, not even when the black cloud chased everyone else away.
“I know you’re not judging me. I’m judging myself.”
“You don’t need to tell me. It’s all right.” He tucked his hands in his pockets as he looked ahead, strolling beside me.
We walked in easy silence for a little while, sipping our drinks. Maybe this was how it was supposed to be with the man you ended up with? Easy. Comfortable. I felt like I could tell him anything right now.
“I don’t always measure up. For instance, I’m a protectorate who can’t protect herself very well,” I said.
“How is that possible? You fought off grouslies and a dragon,” he said, as if I’d made up the most unbelievable tale.
“The grouslies left on their own. With the dragon, Zab was there. I’d probably be a piece of charcoal right now if it had been only me. I tend to do better when there are others who need help.”
He shrugged, but he was grinning. “I don’t think that’s a problem. It’s just you. You’re a caring person. It makes sense you’d be tougher when protecting others.”
He really didn’t care. There was zero judgment.
“Hawk thinks it’s a problem.”
“Hawk is a bit extreme.” He waved me along. “Come on, I want to show you something.”
We walked to the edge of town and kept going until we were in a pasture with one of those large trees with black leaves and a grey trunk. All around it, tiny streams of blue light weaved their way toward the tree.
“What is this? It’s beautiful.”
He tilted his head toward me. “Streamers. Once a year, they come to this tree to mate.” I took a step closer, but he held up a hand in front of me. “You can’t get too close or they’ll bite. They’ll come after you in a swarm, and you’ll be covered with red welts for a week.”
“Good to know.” I took a step back, and then another. “It’s getting late. We should probably head back. I’ve got work in the morning.”
“Heard about that. You’re a pretty important person now, huh?”
“No. Just plain old Tippi.”
“Nothing about you is plain,” he said. He took my hand, and this time there wasn’t any hesitation.
I stared down at his grip as he tugged me forward. I let myself be pulled closer, knowing where this was heading even as I was unsure about the destination.
Gregor seemed like a fairly safe bet as far as men went. He didn’t judge when I said I couldn’t protect myself, and he wasn’t walking and talking testosterone. If I got involved with him, I wouldn’t be holding on for dear life at every turn. He was everything Hawk wasn’t. He was everything I should want. As he bent his head down, I didn’t turn away. Soft lips brushed tentatively over mine.
It wasn’t bad even if there was a lack of something—urgency, passion, heat. Maybe it needed a little help? I lifted onto my tiptoes, wrapping my arms around his neck, trying to coax some heat into the moment.
He wrapped his arms around my back, arching me into him as he tried to delve with his tongue. Unfortunately, it hit the roadblock of my lips. Not one part of me wanted any part of him inside me, not even a portion of a tongue.
I pressed my hands on his shoulders, pushing out of his embrace. His lips stilled before he dropped his hands, his eyes crinkling at the corners and an unspoken question hanging on his parted lips.
“I’m sorry. I thought I was ready for something, but I don’t think I am.” Or not ready for him, and I wasn’t sure I ever would be. There was a certain spark that was either there or it wasn’t.
This sparkler felt like it had been left out in the rain for a week, but he didn’t need to know that. When Hawk touched me, I melted into him.
“Because of all the things going on?” Gregor asked, perfectly willing to accept that it wasn’t him, even when it was.
“It’s just a lot. I can’t really get my head in order right now. You understand?”
“Of course. If you need some more time, I’m willing to wait.”
He’d be waiting a long time, but I didn’t have the heart to tell him that right now. There was a thread of truth; I had too much on my plate right now. I’d feel like that no matter who was standing in front of me, unless it was Hawk.
That didn’t make Hawk the right man. It merely proved I was a touch crazy.
25
When Bautere crouched low, getting ready, there was no part of him that appeared to be playing. This didn’t feel like a game or a sparring session. His growl filled the area, and when he charged for me, my heart beat like I was on the verge of death.
I leapt fifteen feet, rolled in the air, and landed behind him. It would’ve been amazing if it weren’t half of what I’d tried to accomplish.
He turned, growling his displeasure. “You aren’t attacking. As a protectorate, it’s not instinctual to be aggressive, but you need to learn. Now again. This time, you attack.”
I stretched my arms out, trying to psych myself up to purposely engage what appeared to be a massive polar bear. I took off, leapt into the air right before we would’ve collided, and tried to land a blow. It was as if all the gas in my tank had run out. I crashed to the ground on my left side, rolling a little too late to disperse the blow.
I didn’t groan. I’d learned early that you suffered in silence unless you just couldn’t hold it back. Any signal of weakness would simply alert your opponent where to aim.
“You need to find a way.”
“I know,” I said, getting to my feet, trying to ignore the pain.
He took in the way I was favoring my left leg. “We’re done for the day.” He walked off.
I got into the office an hour late for work. Zab, Musso, and Bibbi watched as I hobbled across the room.
The Nowhere Witch (Tales of Xest Book 2) Page 15