by Kelly Oram
“The demon stuff?” Ethan clarified.
When I nodded, Dani snapped. “And you think right now is the best time to worry about that?”
“I lost control, Dani. Whatever magic I accidentally tapped into is dark, powerful, and dangerous.”
Dani shrugged. “So don’t use it, genius.”
My incessant need to always argue with Dani flared, but I willed myself to stay calm. If I lost my temper, Ethan would never trust me, and I needed him to back me on this. “It’s not that simple. Back in the consulate, I hadn’t actually meant to use it. I’m not sure how I felt it, but the second I tapped into the magic it pulled me in. It took hold of my mind and had a will of its own. I was in control, but somehow I wasn’t at the same time. It put thoughts and feelings in my head. It filled me with rage and violence. If you hadn’t snapped me out of it, I’d have obliterated the council. I’d have murdered every last one of them. And I’d have enjoyed it. I wasn’t myself.”
I took a breath, ashamed of the feelings I’d had in the consulate even if they weren’t mine. In truth, I’m not sure they weren’t mine. They felt like my feelings. The darkness felt as if it was a part of me—like the lust for revenge and power was in me somewhere, and I’d just been suppressing it. After all, it’s no secret I’m angry, bitter, have a nasty temper, and am capable of a lot of violence. What’s to say I don’t have the heart of a twisted murderer in me somewhere?
Because Dani knows me better than anyone—better than I know myself, even—she read the guilt in my eyes and stepped toward me with a sad smile. “Whatever happened back there, that wasn’t you. If there’s something going on with you, we’ll figure it out together.”
She had no idea how desperately I wanted that, but I knew it couldn’t be done. I shook my head. “It’s dangerous, Dani. I hurt you today. I can’t stay with you guys until I’ve figured this out.”
That’s what I felt the most guilty about. She was getting better, but she still looked terrible. I’d done that to her. I’d hurt her without meaning to, and I’d put us all in danger.
With glistening eyes and a pained smile, Dani lifted her hand to my cheek. My eyes fell shut and I sucked in a deep breath as a wave of energy wracked my body. It felt so good, so familiar, that I wanted to stand there like that forever. I lost all train of thought and soaked up as much of her essence as I could. Her teasing voice brought me out of my trance. “I’m not scared of you, Russ Devereaux.” When I met her eyes, she grinned at me. “Supernatural Awesomeness, remember? I can take anything you can dish out.”
For once, I couldn’t joke with her. “You can, maybe, but what about everyone else?” I looked from Dani to Ethan, ready to pull my trump card. “We don’t know what we’re dealing with. I’m dangerous and unpredictable. Do you really want to put Grace at risk like that?”
When he winced, I knew I’d won. Grace knew it too, and pulled away from him to grab onto me. “You’d never hurt me, Russ. I trust you.”
I pulled her in for a tight hug and ran my hand down her long, soft brown hair. “I’d never hurt you intentionally, Gracie, but if I did it accidentally, I’d never forgive myself. Plus, I’m a target right now. If we come across any guardians, all of you could be caught in the crossfire. They want the four of you special freaks alive and well. I’m sure they’d go out of their way to not hurt any of you in a fight, but they’re determined enough to get what they want that I’d bet Clara, Cyn, and Caleb would be acceptable collateral damage.”
She hadn’t thought about that. Her eyes rounded and welled up with tears when Cyn grimaced her confirmation that she agreed with me.
“Don’t worry about me, Gracie.” I kissed the top of Grace’s head and gave her one last hug. “As soon as I figure this out, I’ll come straight back. I promise.” I walked her back to Ethan and deposited her into his arms. “You be a good girl and get to D.C. safely. Listen to Ethan. He’ll take care of you.”
She blushed but nodded, having given up her fight. I turned to Ethan. “Call me if you have problems with the resistance, and trust Dani. She’s impulsive and hot-tempered, but she’s pretty stinking kick-a.”
Ethan snorted. “Sounds a lot like someone else I know.”
“Yeah.” I chuckled. “She’s like my evil twin, only not as good-looking. You’ll like her.”
I heard a soft snort behind me from Dani, but after she was finished laughing she returned to doing what she did best—arguing with me. “This is ridiculous. If you have to figure this out, fine. If you want to get yourself away from Grace to keep her safe, I get that. But if you leave, I’m coming with you.”
“No.”
“Russ, you can barely stand on your feet right now.”
“Not that I wouldn’t love having you tag along, but I don’t want you anywhere near me when I get where I’m going.”
Her eyes narrowed with suspicion. “Why? What are you planning to do?”
Everyone was going to hate this idea, but I had no other options. “I’m going to get answers. And there’s only one person I can think of who probably has them.”
Dani gasped. “You’re going to find Alex.”
At the mention of my father’s name, Gabriel sucked in a sharp breath and came to Dani’s side. I couldn’t blame the guy. The first and only time he met my father, Dad had kidnapped him and slit his throat, offering him up as a human sacrifice in order to raise the Angel of Death.
Yeah, you heard that right. My dad, loving father that he is, has a few screws loose.
Gabe subconsciously reached for the scar on his throat with one hand as he pulled Dani close to his side.
I gave Dani one stiff nod. “I’m sure he’s behind this. He’s been behind every screwed up thing in my life so far, and evil dark demon magic sounds right up his alley.” Saying it out loud only made me more certain my theories about him were correct. “He knows, or at least has an idea of, what’s going on with me. I don’t want you anywhere near him, and I doubt you want Gabe within his reach any more than Gabe wants to see him again.”
Dani had no comeback to that. She definitely didn’t want Gabe near my father, and now that they were once again on the run from the council, there was no chance in hell she’d leave his side. For all the power the Seer has, he’s particularly vulnerable against other supernaturals. He’d probably have a warrior of his own if he didn’t have the Chosen One for his personal bodyguard.
Dani shook her head. “Russ, you can’t trust him.”
“I know. And I won’t. But he won’t hurt me. As crazy as he is, he loves me.”
Grace stepped toward me again, but only a step because her fingers were laced in Ethan’s and he wasn’t about to let her go while we were out in the open. “But Russ, he’ll try to win you back. He’ll want to convince you to stay and help him with whatever he’s up to.”
I knew exactly what she was afraid of, and I loved her for it, but she didn’t need to worry. I gave her a soft smile. “I’ll come back, Gracie, I promise. Things are different for me than when we first met. D.C. is my home now. You, Ethan, and Cyn are my family now. Leslie is like a mother to me. My dad might always be my dad, but I don’t need him anymore.”
Grace sucked in a shaky breath and shrank back into Ethan’s side for support. She tried to be brave and nodded as she whispered, “Be careful.”
“You too.” My eyes lifted to Ethan. “Take care of my girls.”
“With my life, brother. Figure your shit out fast, and then come back and help me kick some council ass.”
My smile reached across my entire face. “With pleasure, potty mouth. Get over there and get your tickets. Your train’s going to be here any minute.”
I stepped away, waving good-bye to everyone I loved, praying to the Creator that they’d get to D.C. safely and that sending them to the resistance was the right decision. I think all of us were shocked when a very pissed off strawberry blonde stepped forward and snapped her cap. “This is ridiculous!” Clara tensed, as if resisting the urge to st
omp her foot in her fit of temper. “You can’t go by yourself, Russ. You can barely stand on your own two feet.”
“What’s it to you, Laroche? I don’t believe anyone asked for your opinion.”
“Well, you’re all damn well going to get it. You can’t go by yourself, and I’m the most logical choice to come with.”
She glared at the whole group, completely unfazed by all the looks of shock. I was the most surprised of all, but my astonishment quickly turned to anger. “I’d rather let the guardians run me through with a dull sword than take you with me.”
“Russ!” Dani was appalled, but she didn’t know how evil Clara was.
None of my other friends were surprised by my comment. It’s no secret that Clara and I can barely be in the same room as one another. We’ve even gotten into a few magical brawls several times in the five months we’ve lived in the same city. The girl is impossible.
“Get over yourself,” Clara hissed. “You have some freaky, evil demon thing trying to take over your brain right now. If you go off on your own and lose control of it, what’s to stop you from following in your father’s footsteps and trying to wipe out the world?”
I scoffed, but deep down I knew she had a point. That only pissed me off even more.
“I don’t trust you right now, and I’m not letting you go off on your own on some half-cocked mission that involves meeting up with your psycho dad.”
“Oh, and like you’re one to talk about crazy parents. Your female dog of a mother nearly ended me once in order to gain power.”
“Too bad she didn’t,” Clara muttered.
My vision went red, and I pulled out Duncan’s trusty silver dagger. I hoped it was also laced with poison or spelled with something nasty. “You want to go?” I asked. “Right now?”
Several voices of reason tried to intervene, but Clara and I ignored them all. We were locked on each other, both tempted to end this feud between us once and for all. “Take your best shot, you dirty skank.”
Clara’s face flushed an angry red, and her eyes flashed with so much venom it made me bloodthirsty. Then, with a simple flick of her wrist she cast a very basic binding spell, and cackled when I was defenseless against it.
Heck to the NO. I was not letting my archnemesis best me with a spell meant to contain toddlers. The darkness in me rose, and I welcomed it. I was going to gut the wench, and I was going to enjoy it.
Before I could take a step, I was tackled to the ground by a hundred pounds of supernatural awesomeness straddling my chest. “Russ!” Dani yelped. “Snap out of it!” She actually slapped me. Hard. But the tactic, however uncool, worked. I lost my grip on the dark power before it had time to take hold of me. Without climbing off me, she glared up at Clara. “What are you trying to do, get yourself killed?”
Clara crossed her arms and met Dani’s stare equally hard. “I was proving a point. He can’t be alone right now. Any dumb idiot on the street could piss him off enough to make him lose control, and then what? If he doesn’t have anyone to snap him out of it, he’s screwed, and no doubt, so is anyone in his way when it happens. He’s going to meet up with his father. You don’t think that’s cause for concern?”
All the fight left Dani. She glanced down at me sympathetically, and I glared at her. “No. Absolutely not. I’m not taking her with me. I’d rather go psycho and start Armageddon.”
“Russ, don’t be stupid. You know you don’t really want to hurt anyone. She’s right. You need someone with you to keep an eye on you and snap you out of it if things go bad.”
“Not to mention,” Caleb said as Dani and I scrambled to our feet, “you’re basically as pathetic as a human right now.” He flashed Grace a wide smile. “No offense, Gracie.”
She rolled her eyes good-naturedly, used to the insult, but I was unnerved. Caleb had a point, too. I was useless right now. This was just fan-freaking-tastic. I was going to kill my father when I found him. “Fine.” I grunted. “Give me Cynthia. I like Cynthia. Hell, I’ll even take Caleb. Anyone but Clara.”
“Sure, Russ, no problem. Caleb and I will both come.” The twins stepped forward, wearing matching excited grins.
Clara blocked them. “No. You guys need to go to D.C. You’re both in good standing with the resistance. I’m a traitor to them, remember? As much as I hate to admit it, my mom can be a bit…obsessive when it comes to power. She’ll have something up her sleeve. You guys need to stick to Dani, Gabriel, and Grace like glue.”
Cyn cringed and shot me a sympathetic smile. “She’s right, Russ. Sorry.”
“Not to mention, you’re dying,” Clara continued, making all of us blanch. She was the first one who had been blunt enough to admit that ugly truth. “You’re so weak right now, I have my doubts you’ll last long enough to find your dad. You need someone with you who can either give you energy or get rid of your need for it.”
She was an even bigger idiot than Caleb. “And how do you suppose you’re going to help? Got a spell to break my bonds? Or are you just planning on stabbing me in the back once we leave?”
Clara rolled her eyes and clamped her hand onto mine with an irritated sigh. I recoiled from the touch, but she held on tight. Before I could escape her grip, I realized why she’d grabbed my hand. After that, I could only stand there with my mouth hanging open, staring at her in complete and utter shock.
“Do you feel it?” she asked softly, all previous aggravation gone from her voice.
There was something shy and almost hopeful in her expression that made me momentarily forget how much I hated her as she looked into my stunned face. I couldn’t believe it, but I felt her essence. It wasn’t hitting me as forcefully as Dani’s did, but she was definitely transferring a steady stream of energy into me. “What…how…? It’s not possible.”
“We spent an entire summer together while we were both experiencing the cravings. Even if we hated each other for most of it, we lived in the same house. We formed a bond. You probably have one with my mom, too. Our connection is weaker than the ones you have with your father and Dani because it’s been so long, but it’s there. It’ll be enough to help you.”
And, with that, I snapped back to reality. The only other people who could save me besides Dani, my dad, and Grace were Simone and Clara? “Somebody shoot me now.”
A hand slapped my back, and I looked down into Dani’s determined face. “Suck it up, Russ. You need her, and you know it.”
There was no way in this crap hole of a universe that I needed Clara Laroche. When I couldn’t think of a decent argument, I started to panic. I couldn’t take Clara with me. I just couldn’t. I hated her so much that being around her literally made me physically ill.
Dani saw the anxiety I was trying to hide and gave me an apologetic hug. “You’ll survive.”
I wasn’t so sure about that. I’d put money on it taking no longer than fifteen minutes alone together before Clara and I tried to kill each other. Dani, perceptive as always, guessed my thoughts and smirked. “Consider it motivation to hurry up and come back.”
Against all my best efforts to remain surly, I cracked a smile. I pulled her into my arms and kissed her forehead. “I’ve missed you. Be safe, and don’t trust the resistance entirely. Don’t let them push you around.”
Dani chuckled as she slipped her arms around me and attempted to squeeze the life out of me. “Have I ever let anyone push me around?”
“Just me.”
Her chuckle turned into an obnoxious snort. “Please. We both know who wears the pants in our relationship, Rusty.”
At her use of my much-despised nickname, I gave one of her curls a good yank. “Punk.”
She stuck her tongue out at me and went back to her place beside Gabe. I gave one last parting smile to everyone else, then glared at Clara. “Well, if you’re coming, then come on. But stay out of my way.”
I’m a masochist. That’s the only explanation I can think of as to why I agreed to let Clara come. I was already feeling the ill effects of
her presence before we even exited the train station. Grace always gets mad at me every time I claim Clara makes me sick, but it’s true. I swear. She’s so vile she makes me want to vomit.
As we reached the street, my stomach was queasy, my head ached, and my body itched to run the opposite direction from the nasty witch. But as much as I hated her, she was right: I needed her. At least, for a little while. (Never tell anyone I said that!) Once I was back with my dad I could kick her to the curb, but for now I needed her energy and her magic. “Hey, ugly, go find us a car.”
She was standing about five feet in front of me, taking in the not-so-lovely sights of her old hometown. I relished the peeved look on her face as she whirled around and glared at me. “Excuse me?”
“If you’re going to tag along, then make yourself useful and go jack us a ride. I’d do it myself but I can only hotwire cars using magic, which I’m a little short on right now.”
“You want me to steal a car?”
I cocked an eyebrow at her. “Is that a problem?”
She obviously didn’t want to do it, and I really didn’t think she would, but, at my challenge, she stomped off. While I waited, I pulled out my phone. I knew what I had to do; I just wasn’t sure I was prepared for it. Knowing there was no way to avoid it, I scrolled through my contacts and dialed my father for the first time in five months. He picked up on the second ring. “Russ?” he sounded hesitant.
I steeled myself against the emotions his voice caused in me and tried to stay focused. “I’m ready to talk.”
There was silence on the line for a long time, but I knew he was still there. When he couldn’t decide how to proceed, he simply said, “Okay.”
He was treading the water carefully. There was hope in his voice, even in just that one word. For some reason, it made me angrier. My reply was clipped. “Face to face. Meet me at home.”
“Home?” He couldn’t mask his surprise. “I could just come to D.C., if you want.”