by Kelly Oram
He’s always wearing the same white tunic around his waist and a pair of strappy sandals that make him look like he belongs in a 300 sequel. Plus, he can’t seem to turn off the glory. The guy radiates love and sunshine and a bunch of other warm and fuzzy crap. But at the same time, he looks deadly. Michael can put the fear of God in you without even trying. Literally.
I admired the man more than anyone I’d ever met, but I couldn’t bring myself to lower my weapons. “What are you doing here?” I asked, even though I had a pretty good idea.
It took him a second to respond. He was awfully calm for someone who’d been sent to smite the kid he’d mentored for months. “Grace has been praying for the angels to watch over you and help you since the minute you left her at the train station.”
Okay, that wasn’t what I’d expected at all. “You’re here to check up on me?”
“It is the angels’ duty to answer the prayers of the faithful.”
“And the Creator sent you? Isn’t that a little below your pay grade?”
“I volunteered,” Michael admitted. When I frowned, his look turned sheepish. “You mean a lot to me, Russ. I…I was worried about you.”
Whoa. We stood there in awkward silence for a minute, and eventually Michael broke it. His voice was careful when he said, “It’s been a very long few days for you.”
So he did know, then. I could see it in his eyes that he’d been watching over me last night when I’d had a chat with his brother. He knew what I was. We stared each other down again, and then his face fell. “I’m so sorry, Russ.”
I stiffened in response. “I don’t deserve to die.”
“What?” Michael reared back, surprised by my words.
“I didn’t choose this. I don’t deserve to die for it.”
I take it back. Michael wasn’t surprised. He was completely dumbfounded. “You think I’m here to kill you?”
“You’re the Destroying Angel, aren’t you?”
Michael stepped toward me, and I immediately took a step back, gripping my knives just a little tighter. “I may not be able to beat you, but I won’t go down without a fight.”
Michael stopped again and studied me closely. His voice was the softest I’d ever heard it when he finally spoke. “Put your weapons down, son; I’m not here to hurt you.”
“Why not?” I wanted to trust him, but I’d recently developed some issues in that department.
“You aren’t a demon, Russ.”
My gut twisted. “No. I’m something worse.”
“You are not the power that’s been given to you. You are not evil.”
“Not yet,” I agreed. “It’s only a matter of time, though, isn’t it?”
“It doesn’t have to be. You still make your own choices.”
I shook my head. “I can’t control it. When I get angry…” My voice trailed off as I remembered how close I’d come to killing my father last night. I turned away from Michael, ashamed of my actions.
The sun was sitting high above the lake, meaning I’d slept half the day away. Why, then, did I still feel so exhausted? I stared out at the water, wishing it would calm me, but I wasn’t sure anything would ever bring me peace again.
Michael came to stand next to me and looked up into the clouds. I wondered what he saw up there. Did he see the same sky as me, or did he see home?
“Maybe you should kill me,” I blurted suddenly.
Michael didn’t say anything, but I knew he was waiting for me to elaborate.
“Ever since I first felt that demon magic, something’s different. I can feel the connection I have to Beelzebub. When I get mad, I tap into that connection. I think I feel his feelings. His desires kind of blur with my own. It’s confusing, and really overwhelming. Eventually, I’m going to hurt someone.” I finally looked Michael in the eyes. “Beelzebub said I could still receive the afterlife I deserve. Take me, before I accidentally damn myself to Hell. I’d rather die than become what he’s hoping I’ll turn into.”
Michael’s face was sad. “I do not have the authority or the desire to end your life,” he said quietly. “I came to you today not to hurt you, but to offer you help.”
Help? He wanted to help me? Even though I was basically a little Satan-in-training? “Can you cure me, then?” I couldn’t hide my hope. “Can you take this power from me? I don’t want it.”
Michael shook his head. “I cannot undo what has already been done, but I can give you a gift that will help you fight the darkness inside you.”
Michael was so solemn that I knew there had to be a catch. “What do you mean?”
“Our Mother Creator has granted me permission to bestow upon you the gift of angelic love, if you so choose,” Michael sounded nervous, or at the very least hesitant, cautious. “The devil tempts people through greed and selfishness, but angelic love is pure love and selflessness. With that kind of power in your heart, Beelzebub would not be able to take hold of you so easily. Even with his connection to you, and your dark power, the right decisions would be easier for you to make than the wrong ones.”
So, basically I’d have a built-in devil repellent. Sounded good to me. I really didn’t want to lose myself to Beelzebub. But I didn’t want to lose myself to love like some drugged-out hippie, either. “Would I still be myself?”
Michael nodded. “You would. And you would still feel all other emotions. You could still be overwhelmed with anger, frustration, or sadness. You would still have your darkness in you, but when you chose to feel love over your other emotions—that is when you would notice the difference. Love would always be an infinitely stronger emotion for you. Any form of love—romantic, brotherly, compassion, loyalty, faith…”
“So…” That didn’t sound so bad. Why was he being so grave about this? “You sound like you think it’s a terrible idea.”
“I don’t think it’s a bad idea at all,” Michael whispered. I watched his Adam’s apple bob as he swallowed a lump in his throat. His nerves confused me. Eventually, with a baffling amount of guilt, he said, “In truth, I sincerely desire this. To be able to give someone this gift is one of the highest honors an angel can be given. And to be able to share it with you specifically, Russ, would bring me great joy.”
“But…?” I asked. Because he was still holding something back.
Michael took a deep breath. “But this gift does not come without a price. When a mortal is overcome with an angel’s glory, they are…changed.”
I finally realized what he was getting at, and my eyes went so wide that my face started to hurt. “You mean I’d be like Leslie.”
Ethan’s mom was angel-blessed. She’d been overcome with Michael’s glory when they were…together. She was one of the most amazing people I knew, by far the most loving, but she lived with daily torment because she missed Michael so much. She ached so badly for him she could hardly focus sometimes. If she didn’t have Ethan to dote on, I think she might have gone crazy from missing her angel.
Michael looked at his feet. “Yes,” he whispered. “Like that. If you accepted this gift, you would be bonded to me. You would love me. Not in the way Ethan’s mother does—her romantic feelings are her own. They were not created from the glory. But you would be devoted to me. You would feel the need to serve me. You would long to be in my company. And if we formed this bond, you would no longer be able to train with me. The connection is too overwhelming on mortals. You would not see me again in this life.”
I was surprised by the disappointment I felt in that. There weren’t many people in my life, period. The number of people that I looked up to and felt cared about me were even less. I hadn’t known Michael very long and didn’t see him all that often, but it would suck to lose him.
“I would be with you in here, Russ.” Michael tapped his finger to my chest, over my heart, understanding my thoughts. The guy was like that. He claimed he simply understood the desires of mortals’ hearts, but I had my suspicions about an angel’s ability to read minds.
“I
would watch over you,” he promised. “You would be mine as much as Ethan and his mother, and if you continued to choose good in this life, you would be able to join me after it.”
I thought again about Ethan’s mom, wondering if I could live such a singular life and be content with it the way she was. Maybe I would be better off, though. “If I did this, I’d be like Ms. Dunn, right? I’d never love anyone else?”
“You misunderstand, Russ. Leslie—” He always said her name so reverently. “—loves everyone. Ethan is her world, and remember how immediately and easily she accepted you as her own? It would be that way for you, too. You would always see the best in people. You would love many and give your love freely.”
“But Ms. Dunn never married anyone. She doesn’t date or anything. The only person she wants is you.”
Michael actually blushed. Full on pink cheeks! Then, a look of longing crossed his face that was so intimate I had to look away from him. I turned my face back to the lake and heard him clear his throat next to me.
“I don’t know exactly how the bond would affect you, Russ. But I do know that the angel-blessed of the past have all eventually found mates. They have loved more fiercely than any mortal. Leslie is the same way; she simply chose to direct that love at me. I cannot promise you anything for sure, but I believe you would still have the opportunity to find an Earthly love.”
I sighed, and Michael’s eyebrows flew up. “That disappoints you?”
I laughed. “Not that I was hoping I’d go all goo-goo for you, dude, but I was really hoping I’d be able to let go of Dani for good. If I couldn’t love anyone else, then I wouldn’t love her anymore, either.”
Michael placed his hands on my shoulders and gave them a quick squeeze as he bore his eyes into mine. “Never stop loving Danielle, or Grace and Ethan, for that matter. Your love for your friends is one of your best qualities.”
“I have to. I have to give them all up. You heard what Beelzebub said. I cause them discord. I’m the chaos in their lives.”
“But you also bring them so much joy.”
I shook my head. “I won’t keep them from finding peace in this life. They deserve to be happy and they deserve to enjoy their…soul mates. They won’t do that with me around.”
Michael frowned. “You are connected to them, Russ. You cannot ignore that. But you are right to have caution.” His frown then melted into a proud smile. “You will find your place in this world, Scion. And no matter what you choose, I trust you will do what is best for you and the Chosen sisters.”
Right. I doubted there was a “best” way for both them and me. But maybe if I took Michael up on his offer, at least I’d be able to do what was best for them instead of just what I wanted. Maybe I’d have a clue what that was.
I took a deep breath and held it for a minute before blowing it out. “Okay, let’s do it.”
Something sparked in Michael’s eyes, but he suppressed whatever he was feeling and said, “Are you sure? You do not need to make this choice now. If you need time to think—”
“I don’t need time. If I’m going to end up serving someone, I’d much rather it be you than the monster that consumed my mother’s heart. Anything you can do to help me not be corrupted by him is worth whatever the price.”
“Very well.”
Michael still sounded as serious as a heart attack, but I could tell he was holding back a smile. “I must warn you. Beelzebub will not be happy that I have stepped in and left my mark on his Scion.”
“Screw Beelzebub. It’s no different than him tainting the Creator’s Chosen Ones when he gave them each a part of my soul.”
Michael finally broke into a wide grin. “Agreed,” he said, placing his hands on my shoulders once more. “You may want to close your eyes.”
I’d seen Ethan release his glory a number of times, and I’d also been healed by his angelic power, but not even that could have prepared me for Michael’s true heavenly presence.
I wasn’t overcome by his glory instantly, like I thought I would be. It wasn’t some nuclear explosion of light and love. At first, it was just a slight shift in the atmosphere around us. It was as if his body began to hum, and then I felt warmth start to seep into me. Within seconds, the warmth escalated into a feeling of love and kindness so strong I began to shake. Then the building tension exploded into a feeling of pure joy, and I was utterly consumed by happiness.
Michael stared at me with complete adoration and pride. I hadn’t known it was possible to feel so safe and loved and accepted and wanted. I had to turn my face away from him. I felt ashamed and completely unworthy of the things I was feeling.
When both my father and Dani betrayed and deserted me five months ago, I’d honestly thought there was something wrong with me. When I learned of my connection to the devil, I wondered if it was possible that I couldn’t be loved. That maybe being betrayed and lied to and having my heart broken was some sort of punishment from the Creator because I belonged to Her enemy. I figured I’d never truly be happy.
Michael willed me to look at him. The feeling of love intensified, and my whole body began to tremble again. He smiled, and his voice entered my mind. Never feel that you do not deserve this. You are strong, courageous, and good—one of the only beings in existence worthy of this gift. The Mother Creator loves you very much, as do I. I am honored to share this piece of myself with you.
Tears filled my eyes and spilled down my cheeks in a flood, but I wasn’t ashamed. Somehow, I understood that Michael meant everything he said. I had nothing to be embarrassed about.
Feelings of compassion and reassurance flooded me, along with his love. Michael promised through just a feeling that I was none of the horrible things I thought about myself. I was special and loved and not alone. I would never be alone again. Michael would always be with me.
You have a very important destiny to fulfill, Russ, so remember this moment. Trust in me. Embrace this connection.
I could mentally feel him reaching out to me, offering a bond that would connect us forever. I hesitated only a second before grabbing ahold of that connection. The moment I did, all sound faded out. A pure bright light pushed away the world around us as the feeling of love being poured into me became so intense that I could focus on nothing else.
I knew I was about to pass out for the third time in a twenty-four hour period. The difference was that the first two times I’d worried I was going to wake up in Hell, but right now it felt like Heaven was swallowing me whole.
The last thing I remembered before I collapsed was Michael smiling down at me, his eyes glistening with tears, as he whispered, “Thank you, son. You have made me very proud today.”
I faded back into consciousness slowly. The first thing I became aware of was movement. I was being carried—cradled in someone’s arms. I tried to wake up, tried to pull open my eyes and protest this insult to my manhood, but my body was not cooperating.
Not that I was in pain. It was the opposite, in fact. I felt completely blissed out—like I was as high as a kite and would never come back down. Once I realized that, I stopped worrying about who was carrying me and where they were taking me. I felt amazing and relaxed, and that was all that mattered.
My weight shifted, and then I heard a doorbell ring. A few moments later, my father gasped. “Michael! Russ! What happened to him?”
Whoever was carrying me jerked back, tightening his hold on me. “Back away, Alexander Devereaux,” Michael growled. “Trust me when I say that you do not want my hands free while you are within my reach. I would use them to end your life for the curse you have wrought upon this boy.”
My dad didn’t respond, and I really couldn’t blame him. In fact, I wouldn’t have held it against him if he’d just peed his pants. Michael sounded that pissed. And don’t nobody want to piss off the Archangel Michael.
“Dad?” Ethan’s confused voice wafted over from somewhere across the room.
“Dad?” My father echoed, shocked.
I i
gnored him and focused on Ethan. I could tell he’d crossed the room to us. He sounded panicked now. “What happened?”
Dani joined in the panic party. “Russ! Is he okay?”
And then there was geeky Gabe, fangirling over Michael. “Michael,” he whispered reverently. I could totally picture him falling to the ground, bowing in worship. Not that Michael didn’t deserve the reverence, but still. Gabe is a goober.
“Seer,” Michael said affectionately. “It is an honor to meet you. And you as well, Danielle.” There was a pause and then Michael added, “Please do not burden yourself with guilt over your choices, Seer. Your Mother Creator is so very proud of you.”
“Thank you, sir.” He was choked up now, the dork.
“Dad, what happened? Is Russ okay?”
I wanted to reassure Ethan that I was fan-freaking-tastic at the moment, but it was like being stuck in a dream where I couldn’t wake myself up.
“He’s fine, Ethan,” Michael promised. “His body is only resting. It needs time to recover.”
“From what? What’s going on?” my father demanded. No one answered him.
“Recover from what?” Ethan asked as Michael laid me down on what I assumed was the living room couch.
Rough, calloused fingers combed through my hair, and I knew they were Michael’s. I heard the pride in his reply. “Russ has been blessed with the gift of angelic love.”
Ethan, my father, and, I assume, Gabe, all gasped at that. Both Dad and Ethan reacted very poorly to the news. Ethan sounded pissed when he said, “You did to Russ what you did to my mom?”
Dad, on the other hand, just sounded completely appalled. “You bonded my son to you?”
My adrenaline spiked. I wanted to jump up and come to Michael’s defense, but I couldn’t do it. I didn’t need to, though. Michael was perfectly capable of defending himself. “I did it to protect him because you bonded him to Beelzebub,” Michael growled.
“He what?” Ethan shouted, and then dropped the naughtiest word in the four-letter category. I swear my lips twitched into a smile.