by J. M. Walker
“Shit, Jay.” He pulled me to my feet. “I’m sick of this. He’s trying to fucking destroy you. No one has been able to break you, not even me, but this fucker gets an in because he has your sister?”
“I’m not trying to let him. But I can’t help it, Angel,” I cried, pushing him. “What if he had one of your brothers? What if he had me?” I yelled.
“Don’t fucking say that!” he shouted, slamming his fist against the wall.
“It’s true. It could happen. He wants me too.” I gripped my hair, pulling and tugging until a sharp tingle exploded through my scalp. “God, what did we do to deserve this?”
“Bad things always happen to good people,” he muttered, cupping my nape.
“I can’t keep doing this. Crying over shit. It’s not me.” I didn’t know who I was anymore. I had tried for years to be like Violet. To be strong. Brave. Confident. But the real me was quiet—introverted. The real world didn’t accept people like me. They would devour me before I even had a chance to defend myself.
“This is you, Jay.” He pinched my chin. “I know you’re not like the person you claim to be. You may be the president of King’s Harlots but you’re loud and outspoken because you have to be. Not because you want to.”
“I don’t even know who I am anymore.”
“We’ll find you. I promise.”
***
(Angel)
After Jay’s breakdown, I made her another drink and let her sleep. She pleaded and begged for me to stay, but I promised I would be back in the morning. She fell asleep mid-argument. As much as I wanted to stay with her, she needed her rest and I needed to sort some shit out.
I made everyone leave, promising I would explain when I could. For the time being, the best thing for Jay would be for her to be alone. Even away from me. Coby offered to keep watch over night, standing in the dark shadows of the alleyway. I almost objected, not wanting to take advantage of him but knowing he would be honored to watch out for Jay, I accepted his offer.
The music in the speakers of my SUV shut off, indicating an incoming call. When I realized it was coming from Max, my gaze slid to Dale sitting in the passenger seat.
“I’ll be quiet,” he grumbled.
“Hey, Max,” I greeted, wondering just what happened between them.
“How’s our girl?”
“She’s sleeping. I made her a drink, checked to be sure she was safe, and now I’m heading home.” In a little bit, at least. We had some stops to make first.
“Good,” she cleared her throat. “Is Dale with you?”
Dale shook his head.
“No,” I sighed. “He’s not.”
“Listen, take care of him please.”
“I don’t want to get caught up in your shit,” I told her. “If he needs time, give him time.”
“It’s not that. He just doesn’t want to settle down. According to him, I’m good enough for sex but not a relationship.”
I elbowed Dale, giving him a glare. “I’ll bash his head in for you.”
“No,” she laughed. “It’s fine. I already did that.”
Dale smirked, rubbing the scruff on his jaw.
Asshole.
“If it comes up, I’ll say something but I’m not one to press when it comes to my brothers’ relationships.”
“I know. I just…” she stammered. “Anyway, thank you for taking care of Jay.” A click sounded, the music turning up in its place.
“Care to explain that?” I asked Dale.
“Nope.” He crossed his arms under his chest, staring out the window.
“I don’t want to pry but Max is my woman’s best friend. If she’s not happy, then Jay isn’t happy, and that makes me very unhappy,” I said, venom coating my voice.
“Listen, man.” Dale brushed a hand over his head. “Max wants what I can’t give her.”
“And why not?” It was easy for me. I had never loved like this, if at all. I would be the first to admit that I thought I would never find that person. That one I could be myself around. That I could give my all too. What Jay and I had was new and we would continue learning more about each other as each day passed.
“I’m not you, Angel. I’m twenty-five. I don’t want to settle down.”
“So you’d rather fuck around?” I wasn’t much older than him but he had a point.
“God, no. I just don’t want…” He waved a hand in front of him. “I guess to put a label on it. But she wants more. She wants it to be called something and I can’t. Not yet. So she freaked and kicked me out. That was a week ago.”
“Man, I’m sorry.” I knew he liked Max. They were perfect for each other. With him being obnoxious and her saying exactly what was on her mind, they fit well.
“It fucking sucks. The sex was fantastic. She could suck a golf ball through a garden hose.” He groaned.
“Okay. I did not need to know that.”
“And she fucks like—”
“Dale, man, shut the fuck up.” I slapped him on the shoulder.
“Sorry,” he muttered, a slow grin spreading on his face. “Where are we headed?”
“You know where we’re headed. We’re meeting the guys, doing our shit, and leaving.” I wanted to head back to Jay’s even though I told her I would leave her alone for the night.
“Do you know why Vega wants to meet us?”
“Yeah.” I held back a string of curse words. “He said he thinks he found some information on his niece. I have a feeling we’re getting assigned a new mission, and I think this one is going to be a long one.”
“Are you fucking kidding me?” Dale’s head whipped around.
“It’s our job.”
“I know, but I still don’t have to like it,” he whined. He actually whined. Like a five-year old. Full bottom lip sticking out and all.
I chuckled, shaking my head. “Thank you.”
“Anytime, Boss.” He sat up, stretched his arms over his head until a crack sounded. “Fuck, that felt good.”
“That means you’re getting old,” I teased, needing the light back and forth jab.
“Nah.” Dale brushed his shoulder, a cocky grin spreading on his face. “Nothing old in this body.”
I laughed, scratching the scruff on my jaw.
“Did you tell Jay you’re leaving?” he asked, changing the subject.
My gut twisted. “Not yet, because I wasn’t sure if we were or not.”
“Gotta tell her soon, man.”
“I know.”
***
(Jay)
I woke to warm lips caressing a path up my neck. Hands roamed under my shirt until they reached the curve of my breasts. “Mmm…”
“Wake up, baby,” Angel coaxed, pinching my nipple into a sharp peak. “I don’t have much time.”
My eyes popped open, landing on a very naked Angel with a very hard body. Ready and waiting for me. “What do you mean you don’t have much time?”
He kissed me on the mouth, the peck soft as a feather. “Work calls.”
“Another mission?” I asked, sitting up.
“Yeah,” he pulled the blankets off of me and helped me out of my clothes. “I don’t know how long we’ll be gone for.” His gaze met mine. “It could be awhile.”
My chest tightened. “Okay. I’ll… I’ll miss you.”
“I’ll miss you too,” he smiled. “But I’ll call you every chance I get.”
“Okay. I’d like that.” My eyes welled but I forced back the tears. I was crying over a man. I bit back a scoff. Before I met Angel, I would have been the first to throw a man out of my bed, not caring if he ever came back. But since I had Angel, the dark delicious man kneeling in front of me, I never wanted him to leave. I didn’t want him to go away on his missions even though I knew it was an unreasonable request. It was his job. He fought for our country, and I couldn’t be prouder. But I wasn’t sure if I could live with it. The fact he laid his life on the line every single day. No matter if he was on a mission or not, he was
always working. They all were.
“Where did you go, princess?” Angel asked, cupping my cheek and pushed me back on the bed.
“Make love to me,” I said, ignoring his question.
“Jay.” He frowned.
“Please, Angel. Do to me everything you want to do. Leave here satisfied and happy, knowing you’ll come back to me. You’ll always come back to me. You have to.”
“Of course,” he said against my mouth.
“Please, promise me.” I wasn’t sure why I was pleading.
“I promise.”
And for the next hour, he expressed those promises all over my body. Inside and out, he poured his love for me. With each thrust, it grew. With each peck of a kiss, feathery touch of a finger, our affection for the other grew. It was fast and hard. It took my breath. The passion consumed us, ensnaring us in a safe net of comfort.
When he left, the darkness took over. Although, I still had his black hoodie with me and I could smell him on the soft fabric, not knowing when he would be back drove my mind wild. That was why I never wanted to fall in love again. That was why I had refused to give my heart away. The pain of not knowing if he’ll return to me fell on my shoulders like a ton of bricks.
My phone rang, but I ignored it. My stomach grumbled but I didn’t feel the need to satisfy the hunger when all I wanted was a warm body next to me.
The anxiety racked through me like a hurricane, billowing inside of me. The feeling was familiar. It had hit me hard the first time after my sister disappeared and again when I was able to get out of Tyler’s sadistic grip. I realized now that I never loved Tyler. I never gave him my all. He didn’t see me in sweats or my hair pulled back into a messy bun. He always called me Jenny because he wanted to be different from everyone else. He was different in the fact he laid his hands on me, making it clear no other man could touch me. I was his prized possession, his object that he liked to play with whenever he saw fit.
In my pity of slumber, I laughed, curling myself around Angel’s sweater. If my sister could see me, I had hoped that she would think I picked well when it came to him. I had just started to date Tyler when she disappeared. I could just imagine how she would react if I was ever able to tell her what he did to me. What I did to him. We were both to blame. It helped me feel superior. Confident. He egged me on, begged me to hit him. It was fucked up, but a part of me thanked him for it. It helped me grow into a stronger person. Call it sick and twisted, but I didn’t regret anything.
The depression and anxiety came on strong. Thoughts hit me every so often. Nightmares took over my sleep. What ifs constantly came up, and I couldn’t control the thought that maybe Angel just left. Left me like Violet did. Like everyone did.
HELL.
That was where we were.
Gunshots sounded. Flares flew into the sky. Screams, both male and female, burned into my ears. They were sounds I would never get out of my head. Noises that crept along my bones: fingers of fear. They gripped me until all I could focus on were the cries of agony, the moans of pain, and the bubbling groans of death.
“Fucking shit storm,” Dale said beside me, his voice shaking with each ragged breath. He had been shot in the left calf and his right arm was broken—the bone to his elbow protruding out of the flesh. He had fallen down a cliff when a hand grenade was thrown at his feet. He was lucky and acted fast. The explosion missed him but the fall did some serious damage.
“They knew we were coming.” Coby pulled the pin out of his own grenade. He winked at me before throwing it over his head, the explosion sounding seconds later.
Yells sounded from our attackers but the grenade didn’t slow them down. There were too many of them.
Stone was ten feet away, on the other side of a large rock, holding his own. I couldn’t imagine what he was going through with his squad being attacked just a couple months ago. He should have been on leave, but somehow got out of it. I never asked but I was grateful to have him at our sides. We were broken and bloody but at least we were breathing.
Asher leaned against a tree a foot away from me, trying to get the radio transmitter working. He cursed up a storm, banging the shit out of the device until it crackled.
My eyes snapped to his. “Keep trying. We have to get out of here.” I wasn’t one to give up but we were outnumbered and I refused to risk the lives of my brothers.
He nodded. “Vice-One to base. Emergency evacuation. Mission has been tampered with. Repeat. Vice-One…” he kept repeating over and over again, trying to get anyone to listen. He tried different radio frequencies, even something a trucker could hear. “Fuck. This doesn’t make sense.”
We had been gone for what felt like a lifetime, living and eating through hell. We couldn’t find anything to do with Vega’s niece. It was like she never even existed. No trace. No hair from her fucking head. But we did find three storage units holding girls. They were crammed into the small spaces like sardines, victimized like they were worthless pieces of shit. We got them out to safety and once they were gone, shit went down.
“Boss.” Coby pointed up. “The shots have stopped.”
Dale groaned beside me, grumbling about how he hated getting shot.
“It’s not something you’re supposed to enjoy, ass,” I told him. “Keep that leg wrapped. How long?” I asked Coby.
He checked his watch. “Three minutes.”
“I think someone is messing with us.” I cocked my rifle. “Watch my back.” I rose to my knees, slowly crawling up the cliff Dale had fallen down.
None of it made sense. We were careful, not letting anyone know our whereabouts. Even Vega had no idea. He told us to go in, find his niece, and get out. But we never gave him our coordinates until that morning. Something poked at my gut. It gripped my heart and squeezed until I had to force out my next breath. All of it was a setup. It began to make sense. We were outed, and I had no idea how or why. Did Vega’s niece even exist? That thought crossed my mind unexpectedly. He would pay. If we were thrown into this shit for no reason at all, when saving those girls was not our responsibility, I would make him fucking suffer.
When I reached the top of the hill, I stayed low to the ground and listened.
Silence.
Quiet. Deadly.
It was louder than the noise in my head. It took control, begging me to fall victim to the pureness of it.
And then I heard them. Voices. Not loud but muffled by the wind whipping around me through the trees. Back and forth like it had a mind of its own.
I couldn’t hear what they were saying but I could see them. A group of men stood outside a large warehouse, much like the one we found months ago. This was the building we were trying to gain access to. And we would have succeeded if someone hadn’t warned these men we were there. I didn’t know who they were but I did recognize the one. I had seen his ugly-ass mug in pictures. Files Vega gave us so we would be ready. I went through everything I knew about him in my mind. I had memorized his information the first time I opened his file.
Charles Brian.
Thirty-two.
Single.
And a motherfucking monster.
But he wasn’t the ringleader of this organization. No. He was the bitch—but we could never pinpoint who he spoke with. Who his boss was. These men were good. Never showing what they did with the girls, when they touched them, or when they first took them from wherever they were. No. They were better than that. They had others do it for them. Those men got caught or killed if we got to them first. But it wasn’t satisfying. It wasn’t enough. We needed the source. The leader. The master behind it all. Call us sick, twisted, or just plain desperate but we even used girls as bait. Dante’s Kings tried telling Jay. I knew that. I wasn’t fucking stupid. I was there when they confronted her about the man she was fucking. Acting all concerned when really they wanted to control her and bring down her MC.
Yes, we used the girls as bait. But not all. One or two and they survived every time. They were trained, going in unde
rcover. In. Out. Be done with it.
Out of a hundred or so missing girls, we had found at least forty. The numbers sucked. They were downright disgusting. We couldn’t save them all. We couldn’t stop every human trafficking and sex slave ring but we would bring this one down. They hit too close to home. They took my woman’s sister and I’d be damned if I was going to let it go.
“Boss,” Asher’s voice boomed through my earpiece. “See anything?”
“Five men,” I said, my voice low. “They’re standing by the warehouse we were trying to get in. Charles Brian is with them.”
“That fucker won’t stay dead,” Asher grumbled.
We had shot him once—the bullet coming from Asher’s rifle. But Charles had disappeared soon after and we hoped— no, prayed— the bastard was gone for good. Not that it would have done any good when he could be replaced but it would have been a start.
“I got the radio working,” Asher stated. “Get down here.”
I cursed under my breath but knowing I couldn’t take on the five men by myself, I crawled back down to safety.
***
(Jay)
It felt like a lifetime since I had seen Angel. No matter how long I went without seeing him, I could still picture him in my mind. Every inch. Every curve. Every ripple of hard muscle. He had been active his whole life, working out daily and I craved the feeling of his strength wrapped around me. His taste tingled on my tongue, a permanent reminder of where he had been. It would always be etched into my mind, burned into my skin until I had more of him. I knew it. He knew it. And he loved every second of it.
Angel Rodriguez became an obsession. The ultimate desire. We Skyped. We texted. We chatted on the phone—but it wasn’t enough. He would come home soon and it still wouldn’t be enough. I had to fight the urge to bury myself in the recesses of his soul. He would protect me. He would love me. He would use me. And I gave him everything I had and more. But it still wasn’t enough.
No matter how hard I tried, this emptiness still simmered inside of me. It needed to be filled and Angel was the person who could. After being alone for so long, having people ripped from my life, I couldn’t give him everything he needed. I wanted to. God did I ever. But I didn’t know how. I didn’t know if he even wanted it. He loved me. I knew that. I accepted it with open arms in hopes he would be patient. I loved him with every fiber of my being. Every inch of my skin. Every breath that left my lungs. He was the food for my soul, the sustenance I needed to move on. Every time I thought about how much I loved him, a twinge of fear coated my skin. My skin danced with goose bumps, the blood flowing through my veins like molten lava.