by Renee Roman
Ari wondered if telling Hudson about her personal life was going too far. After all, they’d only just met. She considered how much she should share, knowing once she got started it would be harder to stop, but she couldn’t come up with a good reason not to. If Hudson was like her parents, she’d see it as nothing but a foolish venture. Here goes nothing.
“Catering. I have a master’s in culinary arts, and I’d like to start using it, but so far it hasn’t gone quite the way I planned.” The truth wasn’t far off the mark, and she felt better for not lying about her goals.
“I know what you mean about things not going as planned.”
Hudson took a breath as though she was going to say more, but nothing came out, and Ari picked up the conversation. “What about you?” Ari asked. She drained her mug, remembering to lick her upper lip clean. No need to embarrass herself any more than she already had.
“I live with a couple of roommates. Not the ideal situation.” Hudson glanced at her watch. “Thanks for the coffee and the chat, but I’ve got a class to teach soon.”
Ari took the opportunity to find out more. “You teach swimming at the Y, right?” Hudson’s face became wary, so Ari went on. “I think I saw you there a couple of weeks ago right before the adult swim.”
Hudson’s features relaxed. “That’s it! I thought you looked familiar, but I couldn’t remember from where. You were near the locker room entrance.”
Ari perked up and nodded. She remembers me. “That was me.”
Hudson stood. “Maybe we’ll run into each other again.”
Ari hoped so, but she couldn’t tell Hudson her body hummed, and she wanted more time together. A lot more. Hudson’s mouth and full lips begged to be kissed, and she didn’t want to stop there. Ari’s gaze moved along her strong jawline and continued to the indentation at her neck, traveling over the wide shoulders before ending at the bulging bicep flexing as Hudson shoved her hand in her jeans. Hudson cleared her throat, ending her fantasy.
“I’d like that, without me being on the ground.” I’d much rather be in bed. Ari feigned interest in the slow-moving traffic to hide her nervousness before saying good-bye.
* * *
Thoughts of Hudson came at the most inappropriate times and this was definitely one. The papers Ari held would soon bear her signature. She had to concentrate to keep her hands from shaking. Hope swelled inside and her lofty dreams felt closer. She’d run out of patience and given in to Rae’s suggestion.
Sally Huron sat across the table waiting for her to sign the contract.
Ari had done her research. The commission rate was fair and the language concise. She signed the paper and the deal was done.
“I know you’re worried about finding just the right house. All I ask is for you to keep an open mind when we look at properties.”
Kara had told her the same thing.
“It might not be your idea of perfect, but it might be perfect for you.”
Ari nodded, shaking Sally’s hand. “I will. I don’t want to be one of those clients.” Sally’s head tipped to one side. Ari bit her lip. “The kind that must drive you crazy with unreasonable expectations.” She didn’t want to be a pain in the ass, but she couldn’t help feeling pressured to make the right choice for her business—and her life. If Sally’s expression was meant to put Ari at ease, it worked.
“Somehow, I don’t think you’d ever fall into that category, but I’ll keep it in mind.”
When Ari got back to her car, her nerves were still on edge. There was no way she could drive. She pressed the speed dial number. When the familiar voice said, “Hi,” she took a deep breath.
“I did it.”
“I left too soon. This calls for a celebration,” Kara yelled through the receiver.
“Don’t you think that’s a little premature? All I did was sign the contract.”
“Come on. You haven’t let loose in so long, I’ll bet your undies are in a bunch.”
“They are not!” She hated to admit it, but she hadn’t really had time to relax since she’d made the move almost two years ago. There was always something to worry over, or plan, or calculate. She’d squirreled away every penny. Treating herself was a luxury.
“Stop.”
“What?” Ari asked.
“Stop worrying about money. At least for tonight. Okay?”
“How do you know what I was thinking?”
“Unless you’ve been replaced by an alien, I know you, Ms. Marks,” Kara stated matter-of-factly.
Kara was right. She hadn’t changed her ways in years. Maybe that was part of the problem.
* * *
Hudson stared at the ledgers spread in front of her. A cursory glance told her they weren’t as much of a mystery as they were a mess. As an independent financial auditor and accountant, she liked that she could set her own hours. But there wasn’t a guaranteed paycheck, and she’d taken a second job for its steady income. She hung her blazer over the back of the chair, then rolled up her sleeves. It took her an hour to get through the first few pages of incomprehensible numbers and untraceable entries. A couple of hours later, she pushed away from the desk and rubbed her eyes. She was desperate for a cup of coffee.
Can I buy you a cup of coffee? Ari’s voice. Soft as velvet. She hadn’t wanted to accept until she’d seen the silent plea in her eyes. Sitting and talking had been enjoyable. No expectations. No flirting. Just two people having a casual conversation. The same way she and Pam had started. Goose bumps prickled her skin. It was a good thing they hadn’t exchanged numbers. She didn’t want a repeat of that fiasco.
Determined not to linger on thoughts of Ari, she stood and stretched her back. She’d promised Jill and Cathy she’d join them for dinner and drinks. She was already running late. She could be at the bar in less than twenty minutes and dialed Jill’s cell to let her know. The loud music almost drowned out the voice on the other end.
“Hi, Hudson.”
“I’m leaving work now. Where are you?”
“We’re a few doors from Cagney’s. We were in the mood for greasy pizza. You want to meet us here?” Jill yelled over the noise.
“No, that’s okay. I’ll catch up with you later. I need a little down time.”
“Okay. Later.” Jill ended the call.
Her anger flared. It was just like them to change their minds. She took a breath. I did the same thing when I was their age. She turned the key and then backed out of the lot. She was looking forward to a quiet dinner. At least she hoped it would be quiet.
* * *
Hudson walked through the door and braced for pounding music to hit her. When it didn’t come, she took a seat at the bar and let the quiet jazz soothe her earlier irritation away. This wasn’t the type of place her roommates were known to frequent. Now she understood why they had backed out.
“What can I get you?” the bartender asked.
“A good glass of red wine with some dark fruit and spice flavors.”
“The Franck Balthazar Cornas Cuvee 2007 is our best, but it’s only sold by the bottle.”
What the hell. I deserve it. “I’ll take it.”
The rich burgundy liquid coated the glass as she swirled it. The first sip made her taste buds come alive. She ordered food and was pleasantly surprised by how well it paired with the perfectly cooked lamb chops. She pushed her empty plate away as her cell phone vibrated.
“Hello?”
Giggling and shushing came through the phone. “Hudson, it’s Jill. I don’t think we’re going to make it. There’s a big group of our college friends here, and no one wants to leave. Do you want to join us?”
“I think I’ll pass. I’m going to finish my drink and head home. Have fun.”
Just as well. I’m pretty beat. The half bottle of wine was more than she should have had, but it was too good to go to waste. Maybe she could take it with her. She was about to ask the bartender when a beautiful butch with dark blue eyes and curly dark hair caught her eye. The response of her rapidly beating
pulse startled her right before her inner voice yelled, “No.” She’d reacted to Pam in much the same way. A flood of angst made her shiver. Beads of moisture formed on her upper lip. The visceral reaction to the woman made her stomach flip. She needed to get out of there. Quick. She abruptly pushed her chair back, which caught the bartender’s attention.
“I have to leave. Can you give the rest of this to the woman in the white shirt?” She pushed the bottle toward him.
“Sure. Everything okay?”
Hudson swallowed the bile rising in her throat. “Yes. Just an urgent matter.” She forced a smile. “Thanks.” She settled her check and hurried out.
When the cool air hit her she was able to breathe. She hurried to her car. Frustrated, she banged both hands on the steering wheel. What the hell is wrong with me? She had no control over the irrational panic, and it scared her to death.
* * *
Ari plopped on the loveseat with a grunt. She enjoyed interacting with the restaurant’s customers, but the long hours and little sleep were taking their toll. Her head pounded and her feet screamed to be free of the confines of her fashionable yet well-worn shoes. She needed a new pair and dreaded spending so much money on comfort. She could wait another few weeks until they went on sale. Every penny counted. She’d prove to her father she wasn’t a failure. She didn’t want to ever have to admit he was right. Not like that time in grade school.
Her sixth-grade class had performed a short production of Alice in Wonderland, and she’d been chosen to play the Cheshire Cat. Her mother had quietly encouraged her and even snuck in moments here and there to help her memorize her lines. Her father had pissed and moaned during the days leading up to the play. He had better things to do than spend an evening with a bunch of misfits. On the ride to school, he glanced in the mirror and growled at her. “I hope you don’t embarrass your mom and me, or there’ll be hell to pay.”
Ari had done okay until she made the mistake of looking at the audience like the teacher had instructed them during rehearsals. The first and only person she saw was her father. He wore a snarl on his weathered face, and she froze when it came to remembering her next line. All she could think of was the promise her father had made if she embarrassed him. And that’s exactly what she was doing. Luckily, her friend was standing next to her and nudged her into action, whispering her line. After that, she didn’t dare look anywhere but at the other cast members. When it was over, she found her mother in the crowd. Her father wasn’t with her.
“Where’s Father?” she asked.
Her mother’s face was tense as she helped her get her coat on. “He’s in the car. It’s best if you don’t say anything to him.”
Ari knew she would most likely be punished. She slid into the backseat and kept her eyes lowered.
Her father pulled out of the parking lot and slammed his hand on the steering wheel. “I knew damn well you’d screw up.” His eyes were full of fire as he stared at her in the rearview mirror. “You’ll never amount to anything. Don’t ever ask me to come to school again, you hear me?” he yelled.
All she could do was nod. She was trembling so much that she didn’t trust her voice, but she wouldn’t cry. She never let him see her cry. That night she had buried her face in her pillow and sobbed until the hurt dulled. His words cut her deeper than any spanking ever could, although she was glad he had never touched her. Ari believed he didn’t want to soil his hands. He had never wanted children. And he had let her know every chance he got.
It had taken a lot of encouragement from Ari’s friends to survive his verbal abuse. Her mother hadn’t been much help. She’d cowered under his hard stare, always the dutiful wife who did what she was told. This was her chance to show him she could excel despite his discouragement. But still, there was always the ingrained doubt. What if she couldn’t find a house she liked? What if the zoning laws wouldn’t let her run a business from her home? What if? Her life was full of what-ifs right now. Crunching the numbers didn’t help with her anxiety level. There were too many pieces to fit into the financial puzzle. Student loans took a fair chunk of her income—thanks to her parents’ lack of support.
Exhaustion took over and she fell into bed. Her brain was fried. As she drifted off, all she remembered was remarkable gray eyes. Hudson’s eyes. She wished they’d exchanged numbers. Not that she had time to call. Or date. Or have sex. But still…
Chapter Five
Hudson flipped through the want ad magazine. She really wanted her own kayak, but she needed a place to live first. Students milled around outside the entrance to the YWCA as she searched. She was fortunate in having such a great group of kids. Her time with them was a pleasure and reminded her of when she was an eager student with a group of enthusiastic teammates. She tossed the magazine aside and headed in their direction.
“Hi, Hudson! Can we do the butterfly today?” Jocelyn, the one with potential, always asked what stroke they’d be practicing. Hudson had been the same at her age.
She tried to school her reaction as she ruffled Jocelyn’s hair. “I don’t know. Does everyone else want to do the butterfly?” The entire group cheered. “Okay. Okay. The butterfly it is,” she said. “Now everyone go inside and suit up. I want to see some good stretching before we hit the water.”
When her students had completed two warm-up laps, she blew the whistle.
“Okay, everyone gather around.” She slid into the pool. “Butterfly time.” Hudson spread her arms like wings and pretended to be a butterfly. The kids cheered and splashed each other before settling down.
“Who wants to show the group how it’s done?”
Hands flew in the air. “I do. I do!”
Patrick stood off to the side. He was new to the group, having joined a few weeks ago. He had talent but remained quiet. Hudson hoped he’d come out of his shell with some encouragement.
“Patrick?”
The lanky boy looked up. “Yes, Ms. Frost?”
Hudson admired his good manners. She motioned him to stand beside her. “Call me Hudson. Okay?” He nodded shyly. “How about you show us your butterfly?” She looked at the group.
Timmy spoke up first. “Yeah, Patrick. You’re good at it.” Soon more voices followed, cheering Patrick on.
She put her arm around Patrick’s shoulder. “What do you say? Want to give it a go?” Even though his cheeks turned rosy, she could tell when his eyes met hers, he was excited to lead the group.
“Okay.” Patrick took off and swam to the other side of the pool. He returned and stood with his teammates. They congratulated him with excited praise. He was beaming.
Hudson put them through a rigorous routine before her final whistle signaled everyone should get out of the pool and head for the locker room.
Becka rounded the lockers a few minutes later, but she didn’t look at Hudson.
“Hi, Becka. Do you have a question?” Hudson sat on the bench so they were eye level.
Becka bit her lower lip as she looked up. “How come you aren’t afraid to let girls see your body?”
“Well, we’re all girls for one thing. Every girl’s body has the same parts; they just look different at certain times as we grow. No one should be ashamed of the way they look.”
“Yeah.” Becka nodded. “Are you ever mad you don’t have big boobies?”
“No.” Hudson suppressed any urge to laugh. “I try to take care of the body I have.”
“You sure do that. My momma says she’d pay good money to have a body like yours. Bye.” Becka skipped out the door.
Hudson shook her head. She couldn’t help but grin and wondered how many of the other mothers made her the topic of conversation.
* * *
“Hud, what’s up, girl? Haven’t seen you in a while.”
“Hey, George. I’ve been here and there, keeping busy.” George leaned on the counter, ignoring the tall stool nearby. Hudson suspected he was trying to give his back a break but was too proud or too stubborn to use the stool. She round
ed the counter, pulled the stool closer, and handed him a cup of his favorite specialty coffee. She and George had developed a fondness for each other. She felt guilty for not stopping in more often. Hudson wandered the short aisles and picked out a couple of items. When she returned to the counter, George looked like he had something to say.
George tipped his head in her direction. “Maybe I could ask a favor?”
“Sure.”
Grinning with a few missing teeth, he tipped his chin to the narrow hallway leading to the back. “There’s a box in the kitchen. I can’t get it no farther. My back…” He gestured behind him.
“No problem, George.”
“You be careful. She’s a heavy one,” he called after her.
Hudson hefted the box loaded with books. George stood next to the counter when she returned. “Where do you want it, George?”
“Here, here. Put her down, girl.” George pushed an old chair toward Hudson and pointed. “Appreciate it.”
“Where’s it going?”
“That church down the street. I’ve read them all a few times. Almost know ’em by heart by now.” George chuckled before sipping from the cup, a satisfied sigh escaping his cracked lips.
“I’ll toss it in my car and drop it off.”
“You’re busy. No need me adding to it.” George put her goods in a bag. “Eight dollars,” he said and slid the bag toward her.
She placed a ten-dollar bill on the counter, tossed the bag on the box, and winked at him.
“Least I can do for a friend.”
* * *
Ari looked at her workload. The medical billing office paid well and provided health insurance, which was the main reason she stayed. The thought of having to pay for her own coverage when she quit was another thing she tried not to think about.
“Want to do lunch?” Rhonda edged a full hip onto the corner of her desk. Her curvy friend wore silk better than anyone she knew. It hugged Rhonda’s body in all the right places, and they often joked about the unwanted attention she received because of it. Her husband was the jealous type, and Rhonda discouraged the men in the office from overstepping friendly boundaries. She also wasn’t about to hide under ill-fitting clothes. “I have a right to show off what God gave me. It doesn’t mean I have to put up with being pawed,” she’d said after someone tried to get a little too friendly. She and Ari had soon developed an easy camaraderie. She picked up a stack of papers. It would be easy to get lost in the sincerity of Rhonda’s companionship and turn her attention away from her financial worries to the more pleasant topics she and Rhonda talked about.