by Renee Roman
Ari’s eyes had fluttered for a second, and when Hudson chickened out, she was left standing there blinking, a look of confusion clearly visible on her face.
And once more, Hudson had fled.
She sat in the open hatch trying to settle her churning stomach. She’d been so close to kissing Ari the way she’d wanted to, she could almost taste the sweetness of her mouth. Then she remembered the thrill of another first kiss, and panic won over reason. Why? Why can’t I just stop worrying and kiss her? How would Ari react to the near kiss? Hell, she was confused by her actions. She could only imagine what Ari must be thinking. Maybe Ari thought she was crazy. Maybe she was crazy. Maybe she needed professional help. Closing her eyes, she pictured Ari’s perfectly kissable lips.
“I’m a fool.”
“No, you aren’t. You’re scared. Big difference.”
Hudson opened her eyes to find Ari standing in front of her. Heat rose in her chest. “Ari,” she whispered.
Ari took her hand and turned it palm up before placing a tender kiss in the center. “I think I know what spooks you.”
Hudson opened her mouth to explain, but nothing came out. Instead tears fell from her eyes. She didn’t want Ari to see her like this. There had been a time when she’d been a confident, self-assured woman. At ease in every situation. She was desperate to find that part of her again.
“You don’t have to tell me. I just want you to know I’m not that person.” Ari pulled her to her feet.
Ari’s green eyes showed flecks of gold and her gaze held Hudson’s. She saw concern in them, but she also saw raw need—and desire. The desire for her. Then it happened. Ari’s mouth covered hers, her lips soft, yet firm. They slid back and forth before her tongue traced the edges, asking for entry. Her lips parted and Ari slipped inside, gently exploring, her intent clear. This wasn’t the fleeting almost-kiss she’d clumsily avoided a few minutes ago. This kiss was passionate without demanding more. It was a promise of things to come—if and when she let them. God, how she wanted to let them. She pulled Ari closer. Their bodies pressed together, and Ari’s arms circled her neck. The kiss deepened and blood roared in her ears. All rational thought left, and she concentrated on the feel of Ari’s lips and tongue and body.
Ari broke away gasping for breath. Hudson’s mouth had been as soft as she’d imagined. Her skin tingled. She took Hudson’s hand from her hip and brought it to her lips, kissing each tip before holding it against her cheek.
“I’ve been waiting to do that since we first met. I couldn’t wait any longer.” Ari wasn’t about to apologize. There was no reason two consenting adults couldn’t share a kiss. Or two. She wanted there to be two, and three, and four. Until they became too many to count. A shudder ran along her spine, her body’s reaction to the awakening of so many repressed cravings. Particularly the knot between her thighs that grew when she’d slid her tongue inside Hudson’s warm mouth. She needed to slow down. The last thing she wanted to do was spook Hudson back into her cocoon by being overly aggressive.
“I’m glad you did. One of us had to have the nerve, and I’m pretty sure you know it wasn’t going to be me.” Hudson smiled and ran a thumb over Ari’s bottom lip.
“About upstairs. You can’t leave a gal hanging like that,” she teased her.
Hudson’s head fell back and she looked skyward as her hands held Ari’s shoulders. “I know, I know. Like I said, I’m a fool.” Hudson pulled her into her arms and tightly hugged her, as though wanting to scatter any doubt Ari might have about how she felt.
Ari winked when she stepped back. “Come on. Let’s get the rest of your things inside.”
* * *
Hudson lay awake listening to the relative silence of the new neighborhood. The memory of Ari’s lips made her mouth tingle. The thought of more than a kiss, more than a light brush of fingertips, thrilled her. She wouldn’t let her anxiety about the kiss mar the moment. It felt too good. The sound of peepers in the distance lulled her and she drew her pillow against her before drifting off.
The day before, she’d said her good-byes to Cathy and Jill. They’d laughed and cried, promising to keep in touch, though she wasn’t sure they would. Jill was entertaining job offers and likely to move out of the area. Cathy’s boyfriend had proposed. Life constantly changed. No one knew that better than she did.
She stood with her hands on her hips. Everything in the apartment was hers. This was a home. This was a space she could really call her own and be at ease in it. She opened the kitchen window and stopped. The scent of fresh baked goods wafted into the apartment and she didn’t need to guess where it was coming from. Her stomach rumbled in response. She hadn’t eaten in hours, and the enticing aroma from below reminded her how empty it was. She thought about using the connecting door to follow her nose. Before she knew it, the doorknob was in her hand. Curiosity got the better of her and she yanked it open, about to launch down the stairs and demand some of whatever Ari was making. Instead, she ran into a very startled Ari.
Ari lost her balance and stumbled backward. She would have had a nasty fall if Hudson hadn’t grabbed her around the waist and pulled her against her. The impact caused the container Ari held to tumble to the floor.
Her lips twitched. “We have to stop meeting like this. People will talk.” She took a reluctant step back and retrieved the container.
Ari smoothed her clothes and brushed a stray lock of hair from her face. Her cheeks were rosy.
“Meeting? I’d say it was more like an all-out collision.” Ari laughed.
“No witness, so I guess it’s your word against mine.”
“I guess so.”
“Here.” Hudson held out the still warm container.
Ari shook her head. “I was bringing them to you,” Ari said. “What were you rushing out the door for anyway?”
“I opened the window and smelled something delicious and knew it had to be you.” She grimaced at the obvious slip. “Cooking…your cooking.”
“Uh-huh. Next time yell down first before we kill each other. Anyway, it’s a new recipe and I wanted your opinion. I think there’s something missing, but I don’t know what.”
Lifting the lid released the scent of cinnamon and blueberries. Nestled inside were three scones coated with an opaque icing. Her stomach growled loudly enough for Ari to hear.
“You probably heard my stomach downstairs and felt sorry for me.”
Giving her shoulder a shove, Ari chuckled. “No, but I bet I could have. Let me know what you think of them.” She became shy and glanced up through her eyelashes. “I didn’t mean to barge in.”
“You didn’t. I barged out and nearly knocked you over.” Ari turned to leave and she wanted to find a reason, any reason, for her to stay.
“Want that tour?”
Ari’s eyes sparkled. “I’d love it.”
* * *
A little while later, Ari placed a glass of sun tea in front of Hudson and sat across from her. “The décor is beautiful. It’s definitely you.”
At first, she’d been surprised by the bold accent walls in each room. Chartreuse in the bathroom. Sea blue in the bedroom. Sunny yellow in the kitchen, and what Hudson called “Paprika” in the main living area. The rest of the apartment had been painted a soft white. Hudson had picked up the accent colors in rugs, pillows, and decorations. All without overdoing it. A variety of prints and photos of all sizes that fit together in a sensible pattern hung on the walls. A black-and-white print with a bright tennis ball. A young woman with blue eyes. A puppy with a red collar. All framed in ebony wood with white matting. Hudson’s taste and style sense showed through in ways Ari would have never imagined.
Hudson’s face colored. “Thanks. It feels like home, and I haven’t felt that way in a long time.”
Ari watched a sea of emotion wash over Hudson’s otherwise handsome face and wondered if the reason was the tortured memories left behind by a former lover. She wished she could make them go away. For good. Hudson deserved ha
ppiness. Can I handle the growing attraction between us? Do I have to choose between my business and love?
There were a lot of people out there who had it all, so why not her? Her head hurt with the pressure she felt to succeed. She knew the success of her business was in her hands. But there were no guarantees in love. Still, Hudson was the first woman she’d even thought about having a relationship with. Didn’t that mean it was time for her to get on with her life and stop worrying about what her parents thought? Hudson’s voice brought her back to the present as she walked with Hudson to the connecting door.
“Thanks for the break.” The expression on Hudson’s face revealed her natural sincerity. “There are still boxes to unpack and they’re not going to do it themselves.” Hudson stood in the doorway. “And just a friendly warning…” She paused.
“Yes?”
“If you’re going to bake every day, you might want to lock the door, otherwise I might be begging for samples.”
Ari’s cheeks heated. “I have no intention of locking the door and you don’t have to beg. I’m happy to have you as my taste tester, and I value your opinion.” Ari grinned. “Maybe you’ll want to buy into the business some day?”
Hudson shook her head. “Not a chance. That baby is all yours. But I’ll gladly sample whatever comes out of your kitchen. You know—for quality control.”
“Sure. Quality control. Whatever you say.” Hudson was engaging and funny when she let her guard down. “The only thing I ask is for a rating on everything. Deal?”
“Hell, yes, it’s a deal.” Hudson bolted up the stairs.
Ari quietly shut the door and leaned against it. This could work. All she had to do was convince both of them it was possible.
Chapter Fourteen
The flashing message indicator on Ari’s phone caught her attention. She wiped her hands on her apron and swiped the screen. The text displayed two. Her lips pressed together, she typed back, Why not a one?
It didn’t take long to get a response. Not enough of them to confirm.
Shaking her head, she pulled open the door and yelled. “There’s a few more if it will help my score.” She closed it with a bang. As she put two scones on a plate at the end of the island, she heard Hudson clamor down the stairs, and then a rapid succession of knocks sounded.
“Come in.”
Hudson skidded to a stop in front of the waiting pastries, a travel mug clasped in her left hand. “I only need one more, but two is better.” She broke off a large chunk, and shoved it into her mouth. She rolled her eyes, smiling around stuffed cheeks. “These are really good,” she mumbled through the mouthful before washing it down with a swig of coffee, then taking another bite.
“So why only a two?”
The devilish grin spread across Hudson’s face. “Because I was hoping you’d want to give me more.” She licked her lips, catching the crumbs that clung to them.
Ari watched the tip of Hudson’s tongue as it followed the curve of her lips. They were full and sexy. She glanced lower. The flat plane of her stomach led to the subtle flare of her hips and the denim strained across her muscular thighs. Ari’s clit twitched and she inhaled sharply before looking up to meet Hudson’s knowing leer. She went back to the dirty dishes in the sink. Something’s gotta give soon. She’d had to take care of her sexual needs the last few nights. It had taken the edge off, but wasn’t nearly as satisfying as sharing physical pleasure with another woman. Confronting her runaway libido was easier than meeting Hudson’s gaze. “And now that you’ve had a fourth,” she leaned closer in exaggeration, “and a fifth?”
Hudson maintained eye contact for a long time before speaking. “Aces. All the way.” She stepped next to Ari and placed the empty plate in the sink.
The space between them heated. Hudson was mere inches away and the warmth emanating from her body caressed Ari’s skin. I’m going to die if I don’t touch her soon.
“Thank you. I’m glad you liked them.” She moved away, doing her best to not show her need, and took a large container out of the refrigerator before holding it out to Hudson. “Dinner, for whenever.”
Hudson hefted the meal. “Ari, you don’t have to cook for me, you know. I have a kitchen.”
“Yeah, yeah. I know. I’ve always had a hard time cooking for one, so don’t be surprised if there are more of those.” There was probably enough for at least two dinners, if not more. “Now get out of here. I need to do some research on insulated food carriers for my car.” She shooed her with a wave of her hand.
Hudson leaned in and kissed her on the cheek. “Thank you. I could easily become spoiled and fat.”
“Ha! I doubt that, but if you keep eating desserts for breakfast I can’t promise you won’t. Now get.”
* * *
The small plot of dirt was hard-packed with sparse patches of grass. Big shade trees kept the sun from reaching most of it, and where it did, the weeds greedily took over. Hudson bent and yanked them out by the roots, throwing them into a growing pile. This was supposed to be her day to relax, but tension filled her shoulders. Her mind raced. She wasn’t able to concentrate on setting up Ari’s books and was too restless to sit still. The dojo was closed for the next few days because Master Jin was at a martial arts workshop. Her best option was delving into physical activity. Not knowing what else to do, she decided to tackle the backyard.
Drips of perspiration ran into her eyes, and her shoulders ached after an hour of raking, digging, and pulling at tough weeds. A small cooler sat on the dilapidated picnic table and she reached for water, wondering if the table would collapse if she sat on it. She drank deeply and absently looked over at the neighboring yards while replaying in her mind what she couldn’t forget.
She wished she’d had the nerve to kiss Ari again and hoped the one they’d shared wasn’t their last. Ari was different from many of the women she’d dated over the years. Nothing about her showed pretense. She was genuine in everything she did. The last thing Hudson wanted to do was fall into bed without knowing there’d be more. The knowledge that their relationship might be moving toward intimacy scared and excited her. Over the last month, hopes of finding love had crept into the realm of possibility. But the thought of giving what was left of her heart terrified her. What if it doesn’t work? As scared as she was at the prospect, she wanted someone to share her life with. She was tired of pretending it didn’t matter to her.
Hudson picked up the shovel and surveyed her accomplishment on the sorely neglected space. Another hour and the soil would be ready for whatever Ari decided to do with it. It was too late in the season to start vegetables, but they could still plant grass and flowers. Somewhere she had a book on building outdoor furniture. It would be a great housewarming gift for both of them to enjoy.
* * *
Ari’s feet ached. Work had been insane, running from one department to another trying to fix all the computer-generated errors—the reason she and a few other co-workers were doing overtime on the weekend. She couldn’t wait to soak in the old-fashioned claw foot tub Hudson had managed to salvage during the renovations. A glass of wine, soft jazz playing in the background, and lounging until the water cooled. Heaven on earth.
It was just after six, and the day’s heat had receded to a tolerable level. She pulled up in the driveway and grabbed her bags from the passenger seat. It was too hot to cook, so deli selections and fresh ciabatta rolls, along with an exotic pasta salad, would serve as dinner. She stacked the packages in one arm and picked up her purse and files with the other. She made it to the bottom step before everything started to slip from her grasp.
“Shit.” She readjusted the load and papers slid out of the folder, scattering in the light breeze. She looked at the mess at her feet. “Great. Just great.”
“Need help?”
Ari jumped at the sound of a voice and dropped the rest of her things on the ground. “Christ! Don’t do that.” Her hand flew to her chest. Hudson’s face showed amusement, and she laughed in spite of
the mess. “Where the hell did you come from? Thin air?”
Hudson thumbed over her shoulder before bending to pick up what Ari had dropped. “The yard. I needed something to do while the dojo is closed.”
“You don’t have to do that.”
“Don’t be silly. I can’t just stand here while you pick up everything.”
“I meant the yard. I don’t expect you to do everything around here. You’ve already gone above and beyond our agreement.” Ari reached for the jumbled bags. They stood at the same time, and Hudson held a sheaf of slightly wrinkled papers.
“It’s not a big deal.” Hudson shrugged. “I didn’t have any plans anyway.”
Ari touched her arm. “Hey, what’s wrong?”
Hudson turned to face the sky as if to gather her thoughts. “Ah, you know. Sometimes you feel down in the dumps. No particular reason.” Another shrug and she took a bulging bag from Ari. “Let me help you inside.”
“Okay.” Ari opened the door to the landing. Hudson stood in the doorway.
“I’ve got dirt caked in my shoes.”
Ari took the bag from Hudson. “Thank you.”
“Sure.” Hudson’s eyes were downcast.
“Want to join me for dinner?”
Hudson turned back and shoved her hands in her pockets. “Don’t you want to have some time to yourself?”
It was obvious Hudson was trying to act like she was okay; Ari was pretty sure she was anything but. “I have plenty of alone time. It’s too hot to cook, so I picked up salad and stuff for sandwiches. Nothing fancy.” When Hudson hesitated, she went on. “We can fix plates and go sit on the front porch. Maybe have a couple of beers. I could use an evening of R and R.”
Hudson’s face lost its somberness. “Okay. I have some kettle chips and a kick-ass guacamole that I made.”