“Well, honey, if you were, I’d marry you,” Pax said.
“You already are,” she reminded him.
“My kids are going to grow up with a father and, hopefully, a mother who sticks around to see them ride broncs, graduate from high school, and attend all the other important events in their lives.” He drove out of the parking lot and headed out of town.
“You’re pretty definite about that.” Alana was so relieved that Pax had used protection that she had to concentrate on the countryside out her window to keep her tears at bay. Someday she wanted children, but not now. She had too much on her plate to even think about bringing a baby into her chaotic world.
“Yes, I am,” Pax said. “Grandpa and Mam were good to us and raised us well, but I was always envious of you kids who had both your parents.”
Alana knew the story about Pax and Maverick’s life, how Iris and Tommy Callahan, their grandparents, had stepped up and done what parents should do. Iris had brought cupcakes to school. She and Tommy had both made sure that the boys got to their rodeo events, helped them with animals to show at the fairs, and even attended FFA dinners with them. There couldn’t have had better grandparents than the Callahans, but she could see his point.
“I always envied you having Iris,” she whispered. “When Mama died, I wished that she was my grandma.”
“Well, I damn sure was jealous that you had Matt,” Pax told her. “Especially after Grandpa died.”
She turned her head so she could look at him. “Guess life don’t promise us beds of roses.”
“Yeah, it does,” he argued. “Only life don’t take the thorns off.”
“You got that right,” she told him. “But I’m sure looking forward to having Sunday dinner with her.”
“Even though it’s only pizza?” he asked.
“Yep,” she answered. “Sounds wonderful.”
“Cravin’ it, are you?” he teased.
“Yep, and you get to get up with the baby at the three o’clock feeding every night,” she popped off.
“Oh, man!” he groaned. “You really know how to hurt a cowboy.”
“You’re strong. You can do it. After all you’re marrying me, and you know what the gossip hounds say, don’t you?” she asked.
“That I’m a lucky man?” he ventured.
“Nope, they say it’ll take a strong cowboy to marry Alana Joy Carey, because she’s taller than most men and she’s more stubborn than all of them.” She sighed.
* * *
Pax had heard that said before, and he agreed with it wholeheartedly. Alana could out-ride, out-shoot and out-ranch nearly every cowboy in the state, but not one of those other men had held her when she sobbed because her daddy was dying. That didn’t make him so strong—it made him a good friend that she trusted enough to let him see her at her most vulnerable.
“It used to hurt my feelings and make me feel ugly,” she went on, “but then I figured that if I was gonna have the name, then by damn, I’d have the game. I’d beat out all the cowboys at whatever game they were playing. Did you know that I even tried to go out for football, but the school and my daddy said no?”
“Didn’t know that, but can’t say as I’m surprised,” Pax answered as he drove past the WELCOME TO AMARILLO sign. “Do you like football that much, or were you on a mission?”
“Love to watch it on TV with Daddy, but at that time I was pretty much trying to live up to what folks said about me,” she admitted.
“Darlin’, you might not realize it, but when you walk into a room or a bar, every man in the place can’t take his eyes off you. I’ve considered selling bibs at the door of the Wild Cowboy so the drool don’t ruin their shirts,” he said.
“I don’t believe a word of that bullshit, but thank you.” She smiled at him as they pulled into Iris’s parking lot. Iris waved from the bench by the front door and stood up. The second the vehicle came to a stop, Alana hopped out and met Iris halfway. She bent and gave Iris a hug, and then held out her hand so Iris could see the engagement ring. When they’d finished talking about the ring, Alana helped Iris into the backseat.
“Happy Mother’s Day, Mam,” Pax said. “You’ve got a present back there somewhere.”
She fastened her seat belt and then dug into the gift bag. “Oh. My. Goodness. There’s enough little chocolate bars in here to keep me happy for a month, and this card is lovely. You always pick out the prettiest Mother’s Day cards.” She reached between the seats and laid a hand on his shoulder. “Thank you. I love you kids so much.”
“You deserve a truckload of candy for raising Maverick and Pax,” Alana said.
“I can’t think of a better Mother’s Day than spending the afternoon with y’all. I’m so glad y’all came to your senses and realized you were made for each other. I’ve known for years that you would wind up together. It was written in the stars when you were little kids.”
“I looked at the stars every night, and I didn’t see anything like that,” Alana said.
“Me, neither,” Pax agreed.
“Well, y’all didn’t have my binoculars,” Iris smarted off.
Pax drove out of the parking lot and back toward town while the two ladies chattered about the wedding details. His mind was on pizza, not the wedding.
“I’m going to come home for a week or two before the wedding so I don’t miss out on anything.” Iris’s voice took Pax’s mind off food. “Besides, I want to spend some time with Bridget and Laela. Living at the center is great, and I love it there. I’ve settled in, and I’ve made lots of friends, but nothing beats spending time with family.”
“Call me whenever you’re ready, and I’ll be here to pick you up.” Pax looked in the rearview and smiled at his grandmother.
Iris opened up a miniature candy bar and popped it into her mouth. “A couple of these will be my little appetizers before my pizza. I love that you’re getting married in the barn. You’re both ranchers, so that’s perfect. I guess you’ll be living at the Bar C?”
“Yep, but I’ll still help run our ranch.” Pax drove right up to the front door of the pizza place. “You ladies can get out here. I’ll park and be right in.”
“That’s wonderful. Thank you,” Iris said as she slid out of the backseat.
Pax had been worrying that Mam would see right through their ruse, but so far things had gone much better than he had expected. She was excited about the wedding and that he’d be keeping his hands in the Callahan Ranch. She’d always loved Alana, so that was a plus. Still, he hated the guilty feeling that wrapped around his heart and soul. Mam and Matt wanted the same thing—to see their kids settled and happy. Matt would be gone so he’d never know what happened, but Mam’s heart would be broken.
Chapter Nine
Alana went over her mental list as she made her way downstairs that morning. She and Lucas had to rake a field of hay up into windrows. Some of the hired hands would move cattle. Others would repair fence lines. She stopped so fast when she got to the kitchen that she almost fell over her own feet. Her father was not at the table with a newspaper in front of his face, and the coffee wasn’t made.
She whipped around and headed back up to his bedroom but before she’d taken a step, the back door opened and Matt came into the house. “I had breakfast in the bunkhouse with the guys this morning, so don’t make anything for me. I’ll get a pot of coffee going and have a cup with my morning paper”—he held it up—“and we can visit while you eat.”
“Daddy, you scared me,” Alana fussed at him. “I thought…”
“Lucas is right behind me,” he whispered.
“Hey, kiddo. Did you decide to be lazy and sleep in this morning?” Lucas teased as he pushed open the back door.
“It’s only five o’clock,” Alana argued.
“We’ve already had breakfast and have given the hired hands their chores for the day.”
A short, round man who lived in bibbed overalls and a wide-brimmed straw hat, Lucas had been foreman on the Ba
r C for all of Alana’s life. She could even remember him when he had a head full of dark hair. Now, all he had was rim of gray that circled his bald head above his ears. His brown eyes were set in a bed of wrinkles, but they were always happy.
“Must be that love bug that bit you that’s makin’ you lazy,” he continued to tease her. “I’m glad I didn’t ever settle down with a woman if that’s what happens.”
“No woman would have had you for more than a weekend,” Alana shot back at him.
“Thank God. I’d hate to think that one woman would get all this.” He made a gesture to take in his whole body. “That would deprive so many others of a chance to spend a night with such a fine cowboy.”
“On that note, I’m going to get my newspaper off the porch,” Matt said.
“You, Lucas Nighthawk, are full of bullshit.” Alana put on a pot of coffee and got her favorite cereal from the cabinet.
“And that’s why all the women love me.” He lowered his voice. “Is Matt all right? He’s seemed a little off the past several weeks. He needs to see a doctor.”
“What do you mean?” Alana asked.
“Sometimes he talks about Joy like she’s still alive, especially since y’all announced that you were getting married so quick,” Lucas said. “Folks say that this is a shotgun wedding.”
“That’s only a rumor. Don’t pay any attention to it.” Alana concentrated on pouring cereal into a bowl and avoided looking Lucas in the eye. When she was growing up, she could fool her father some of the time, her mother very rarely, but never Lucas. He’d been the uncle that she’d never had, since both her parents were only children, and he always knew when she was lying.
“Well, dammit!” Lucas slapped his thigh. “I was hopin’ it was true. I’d like to see the next generation before I die.”
“Don’t talk to me about dying.” She shivered at the thought. “You old cowboys are supposed to live forever, don’t you know that?”
“Old cowboys never die. They just kick the dust.” Matt brought his newspaper to the table and sat down to read it.
“I’ve heard that they never die, but they smell like they have after a long day on the ranch.” Alana poured three cups of coffee and set one in front of her father.
Lucas picked up the other two and carried them to the table. “I hate to see you eat nothing but that dried-up crap with sugar on it. A workin’ woman needs something that will stick to her ribs, something like ham and eggs.”
“I’ll take a couple of energy bars with me.” She sat down and set about eating her Lucky Charms.
“Huh,” Lucas snorted. “You should pack some beef jerky, not those newfangled bar things you kids think are so great.”
Matt laid his paper to the side and took a sip of his coffee. “The wedding planner called me last night. The invitations are going in the mail today.”
“I damn sure want one,” Lucas said. “I’m going to take it up to that place in Amarillo that does custom framing, and it’s going on the wall out in the bunkhouse. I’ll want a wedding picture too, so we can hang it above the mantel.”
Alana shoved a bite of cereal in her mouth to give herself time to collect her thoughts. When she’d swallowed, she asked, “How big do you want that picture?”
“Huge.” Lucas made measurements with his hands. “Wide as the fireplace and tall as it needs to be. I’ll take them steer horns down and put it right up there where they’re hangin’.”
“I was thinkin’ we’d hang one over our fireplace too,” Matt said. “I want the whole wedding party in mine. Maybe the photographer can take y’all outside and take it with the setting sun back behind you.”
“That would be beautiful. We’ll have to talk to whoever Crystal sends to do the pictures about it.” Alana managed to get out the words around the grapefruit-size lump in her throat. “But we don’t need to sit around the table jawin’ all day about me and Pax. We’ve got hay to rake, don’t we?”
“That’s my girl,” Matt said. “I’m going to run up to Amarillo today. Y’all need anything?”
“Bridget and I are going tomorrow to look at wedding dresses. You want to wait and go with us?” She took her bowl and mug to the sink.
“Nope.” Matt shook his head. “I’d be bored to tears. I’ve scheduled a cattlemen’s meeting this morning. I’ll be back by noon. Want me to pick up some fried chicken on my way home?”
“Yes,” Lucas said on his way outside. “I’m inviting myself to eat with y’all. I do love fried chicken. And get extra potato salad.”
“Got it.” Matt winked at Alana.
As soon as the back door shut behind Lucas, Alana went back to the table and hugged Matt. “Now, tell me why you’re really going to Amarillo. You don’t have cattlemen’s meetings in the middle of the week.”
“Doctor’s visit,” he said.
She folded her arms over her chest. “I’m going with you.”
“No, you are not,” he protested. “I’ll be seeing him every week on Tuesday morning, and until I absolutely can’t go on my own, you are not going with me. Lucas is already fussing at me about going to the doctor. He says that something is wrong with me, and I need to see about it. If you start going with me, he’ll smell a rat. I plan on telling him after the wedding, but not a day before.”
“All right, Daddy.” Alana remembered from the research she had done that she shouldn’t argue with him. “But if you ever want me to go, or if you don’t feel like driving, I’ll make an excuse that I need to check on wedding dress alterations or something.”
“Sounds good.” His voice was back to normal. “Now get on out there. Lucas is waiting for you.”
She stuffed a couple of energy bars into her shirt pocket and waved over her shoulder as she went out the back door. “See you at noon.” Dealing with the stress of a wedding planner who had called her three times in the past two days, the grief over her father that ate at her soul, and the way she felt the past couple of days after sleeping with Pax, was not an easy task.
* * *
Pax awoke that morning to the sound of a giggling baby and the aroma of bacon. He flipped on a bedside lamp and crawled out of bed. He and Maverick had put in a grueling day on Monday getting the rest of their hay cut. Today, they’d rake it into windrows. The weatherman was calling for rain later in the week, so if they could get their round bales done before it started, that would be wonderful.
Two days had passed now since he’d seen Alana. On the one hand, he’d missed spending time with her. On the other, he’d enjoyed the hard work, something he was used to and could do without much thought—and not having to worry about being the perfect fiancé. He got dressed for work in faded jeans and a tank top, slipped into a soft chambray work shirt, and headed for the kitchen.
Maverick was putting a platter of biscuits on the table. “Did you stay out all night again?”
“Nope, I was too tired to do anything more than send a text to Alana and tell her good night, and then I fell right to sleep.” Pax poured himself a cup of coffee and turned to Bridget. “She says the wedding invitations are going out today, and that y’all have an appointment at the bridal shop tomorrow afternoon.”
“That means you two better get the hay baled,” Bridget said, “because Maverick is going to Amarillo with me. He’s going to take Laela to the park while Alana and I both try on dresses, so it’s either get the job done today or you’ll be doing it on your own tomorrow afternoon, Pax.”
“I’ll hold down the fort,” Pax offered.
“Thanks.” Bridget put the rest of the breakfast on the table.
“Wedding invitations?” Maverick asked. “You really are serious about this, aren’t you?”
Pax put two biscuits on his plate and passed them on to Maverick. “Maybe when you go get fitted for the tux, you’ll believe me.”
“You mean it’s going to be that formal? So us guys will have to wear one of those hot monkey suits?” Maverick frowned.
“Yes, but Alana says you c
an wear your cowboy boots if they’re black. And she’s going to let the girls wear boots too. She says that’s only right since it’s a barn wedding,” Pax said.
“Guess I’ll be shopping for cowboy boots today too, then.” Bridget smiled. “I’ve wanted a pair for a while, and this gives me the perfect excuse to buy them.”
“Wonderful,” Pax said. “You’re turning into a real Texan.” Anything to change the subject, because Pax would be glad when the wedding was over and done with so everyone would stop talking about it.
An hour later, he was in the cab of an air-conditioned tractor mowing hay, and all he could think about was the wedding. It seemed like every song that came on his favorite country station that morning had to do with weddings. First Thomas Rhett sang “Marry Me.” The lyrics reminded Pax that he would likely have to sit by someday and watch Alana marry someone else.
A shot of jealousy ran through him. He didn’t want to be the one sitting at the back of the church when she was saying her I dos. He didn’t even want her walking by with a wedding ring on her finger that had been put there by another man.
Then Scotty McCreery came in with “This Is It.” The words talked about a bride walking down the aisle and how the two of them would be on top of the world together forever. Pax knew that Scotty had written the song for his own wife, and Pax would see Alana walking down the aisle, but there would be none of that forever stuff for them.
When Blake Shelton started singing “God Gave Me You,” Pax turned the radio off and called Alana.
She answered on the first ring, and he could hear the beat of music in the background. “I hear a tractor. Are you rakin’ or cuttin’?” she sniffled.
“Are you crying?” he asked. “Is it Matt? Is he all right?”
“He’s fine, but he told me this morning, he’s got a doctor’s appointment every Tuesday. He won’t let me go with him.” She broke down and sobbed.
“Do I need to come over there?” he asked.
“No, I was thinking about a song for the daughter-daddy dance at the wedding,” Alana answered, “and found one by Heartland called ‘I Loved Her First.’ It’s perfect, but it reminds me that he’ll never see his grandchildren, and he won’t be there when I get married for real,” Alana said. “The real reason behind this wedding makes it as heartbreaking as a funeral.”
Cowboy Strong - Includes a bonus novella Page 9