by V.
“Sounds delicious. What’s the tart made of?”
“Almonds. By the way, we’re also babysitting the twins this afternoon. Okay with you?”
Elisabeth nodded.
“That’ll keep us busy, so before they get here, you need to tell me what happened.”
“It was horrible, Sarah. I made a complete fool of myself. I offered myself to him and he rejected me. He doesn’t love me.”
“Elisabeth, he needs to be careful.”
“No, it’s not that. He said he wouldn’t do anything until he was sure of his feelings for me. Up until that moment I hoped we knew exactly how we felt about one another.”
The kettle whistled and Sarah turned it off and poured the hot water into a teapot. “In my opinion he’s simply trying to be honorable. He recognizes that there’s a possibility he may be attached to someone else.” Sarah put teabags in the pot before placing it on the kitchen table along with a couple of mugs. “Do you take milk and sugar?”
“Yes, a cloud of milk, as you like to say, and three teaspoons of sugar. I love my sweets. Maybe that’s the problem, I’m too fat.”
“Elisabeth, stop. That has nothing to do with his feelings for you. It’s obvious how much he cares for you and you for him. Look at us, why are we here tonight cooking together in my house instead of yours? To keep you two under our watchful eyes.”
A hopeful smile crept onto Elisabeth’s lips, and her eyes regained a little of their usual sparkle. “You really believe that’s all it is?”
“Without a doubt. Now, let’s be practical. Take a look at this from his point of view. What if he had taken you up on your offer? You would’ve been intimate with one another and your love would’ve flourished. But if he later found out that he was attached, that would force him to end it, and you’d both be hurt. Isn’t that much worse than restraining yourselves a little longer?”
Elisabeth responded with a reluctant nod.
“C’mon, Elisabeth.”
“I didn’t expect him to reject me.”
“The truth is that you shouldn’t have offered yourself to him. It was not a smart move on your part to put him in that position.”
Elisabeth sighed. “You’re right about that, but somehow I don’t believe that’s what held him back. I suspect he’s not entirely sure of his love for me.”
“Like I said before, I seriously doubt that.”
“Sarah, I—” Elisabeth’s eyes filled. “I can’t lose him. I love him so much, it hurts.”
Sarah reached for her friend’s hand. “Please, Elisabeth, you need to give him time.”
“The last time someone asked me to give a man time, I ended up losing him.”
“Hopefully this time will be different.”
They looked into each other’s eyes, fully aware of their own uncertainties.
“Let’s get the tortillas going. It’ll make us both feel better.” Sarah stood and placed her teacup near the sink. “Doc’s going to arrive a bit early,” she went on, “to chat with Conrad and me. So you and Daniel will be helping with the children’s baths and bedtime ritual. You’ll enjoy it.”
Concern clouded Elisabeth’s expression. “Why do you have to talk with Doc?”
Sarah hesitated for a moment. “Nothing to worry about. It’s that a couple of scenes from this movie have got me a bit confused. I’d like to run them by him.”
“When are you going to tell me about this film? If I knew more, maybe I could help.”
“Not until I have a better grasp of its meaning. Soon, I hope.”
“I’ve got to hand it you, Sarah. I can’t even begin to imagine what it must be like to be a psychic and have these bizarre visions floating through your mind. Yet you’re so calm about it, and so together. Then, to top it all off, you’re worried about Daniel and me. How do you manage it?” Elisabeth rose to her feet and hugged her friend.
“Oh, c’mon, it’s really not that big a deal.” Sarah lied as she kissed her friend on the cheek. “I treasure your friendship and Daniel’s. You’re both very important to me. So please, don’t despair, and do your best to be patient. Okay?”
Elisabeth sighed and moved to clear the kitchen table. “I’ll try. It’ll be difficult being near Daniel tonight. Awkward, anyway.”
“Nonsense. Be our usual warm and loving Elisabeth, and the rest will take care of itself, trust me. Here.” She handed Elisabeth a wet towel. “Wipe the table clean and then dry it. We’ll use it to work the dough.”
“Won’t it stick?”
“Ah, we have a secret weapon. We’ll put some parchment paper on top before we make the cornballs. You’ll knead the dough and then—”
“You’ll help me, right? I can’t afford to fail again.”
Sarah smiled. “No failures tonight, I promise. You’ll love flattening and shaping the tortillas. It’s fun, and besides, the scent and taste of a fresh corn tortilla is to die for.”
“Hey, if Daniel likes my tortillas, maybe they’ll soften his heart toward me again.”
“Don’t push him.”
“If only I could see the glimmer in his eyes when he looks at me one more time, it’ll give me the strength to wait. I can hope for that, can’t I?”
Sarah smiled and nodded. “As long as you don’t hope for more.”
“So this is the moment of truth. Whose recipe did we eat?” Conrad asked.
They sat around the dining room table enjoying the heavenly tart.
“Team effort. A combination of my mother’s and grandmother’s recipes plus Daniel’s unique touch,” Sarah said.
“What do you mean?” Alyana asked.
“He’s got good instincts,” Sarah said. “He suggested we marinate the meat in a paste of crushed garlic, jalapenos, cilantro, salt and pepper with a dash of olive oil to enhance the flavor. He also added brandy to the tart, which, we can all agree, made it even better.”
“It was delicious, whatever you did,” Dr. Lawrence offered. “I’ve never had Mexican food that tasted so fresh. Those homemade tortillas were the best I have ever had.”
“Not my doing. Elisabeth made those.” Sarah winked at her friend.
“Daniel doesn’t believe I can do anything right.” Elisabeth had cleared the dessert plates, and she vanished into the kitchen. Daniel glanced around, perplexed.
“What did I do?”
“I’ll go chat with her.” Sarah followed Elisabeth.
Daniel sighed and shook his head. “Nothing I did in that kitchen today met with her approval—I swam against the current all the way.”
“She’s out of sorts.” Conrad smiled. “A woman’s prerogative.”
“Not just women, Papa,” Alyana offered. “Tom gets moody too, particularly when it’s time to bathe the kids.”
“Aw, c’mon, that’s not fair,” Tom protested. “I’m all thumbs with two babies.”
“A nice excuse. Maybe you should take lessons from Daniel. He did very well today.”
“C’mon, Alyana,” Daniel interjected, “all I did was pat them dry and tickle them. Boy, did I laugh, their giggles were contagious.”
“Yeah, thanks for that, buddy,” Tom laughed. “It took ages to calm them down and sing them to sleep.”
“I would’ve liked to have gotten that much love as a kid.” Daniel sipped the last of his wine, a distant look in his eyes.
“You connected with your childhood?” Dr. Lawrence asked.
Startled, Daniel focused back. “No. Being with these two and their brood made me a bit melancholic, I guess.”
“Speaking of which,” Conrad said as he rose to his feet, “Doc, you and Daniel can use the attic for your session. It’s on the top floor and completely private. Plus, Sarah keeps it neater than any other room in the house. You’ll be comfortable there. I’ll bring in another chair.”
Everyone rose from the table on cue.
“Dad, I’ll take the chair.”
“No, thanks, Tom. I need to show them the light. Besides, I’d like to share with
them a bit of what the attic means to Sarah.” He grabbed a chair and made his way toward the staircase.
“I’ll get my chart and glasses and be right there,” Dr. Lawrence said on his way to the foyer.
When the three men reached the third floor, Conrad switched on the hallway light and then opened the door to the attic. He stepped in and switched on the floor lamp.
The room came to life with a soft warm glow—like a smile of welcome for new visitors.
Conrad placed the chair near the armchair and turned to his guests. “Sarah spends a lot of time here conversing with those the rest of us don’t connect with quite so easily. She learned all about my ancestors from my grandmother, thanks to this attic. It’s a special room. A gate into other worlds, I would say. Sarah hopes it’ll help.”
Daniel stepped in and immediately began to pace. Dr. Lawrence glanced at Conrad and nodded that he should leave, which he did without a word, closing the door behind him.
Dr. Lawrence settled into the armchair, put on his glasses, and placed the medical chart on his lap.
“I have the impression that I’m unhappily married, Doc,” Daniel blurted out.
The doctor peered over his reading glasses. “So you’re on to something.”
“Maybe. Glimpses ...images of a woman—a beautiful woman—and a teenage girl.”
“And you assume they’re your wife and child?”
“They must be. Why else would I conjure them?”
“What makes you say you’re unhappy in the marriage?”
Daniel stopped pacing and faced the doctor. “I experience resentment toward her.”
“The woman or the girl?”
“The woman. The girl is different. I enjoy her.”
“Why don’t you describe these women to me?”
Daniel resumed pacing. “Interesting room, this attic.”
“Yes, comfortable.”
“It’s easy to imagine how Sarah could connect in here. I like it.”
“Are you avoiding my question?”
Daniel stopped pacing and glanced at Dr. Lawrence. “No, I’m not. I have a sense of peace in here. It’s a nice feeling.”
“Then, why are you pacing?”
“I don’t like the pictures that are popping into my head. I don’t like this woman.” He paused for a moment, then forced himself to continue. “Anyway, she has wavy auburn hair, she’s sensual as hell, and has olive green eyes that mock me.”
“Mock you?”
“Yeah, there’s something about the way she looks at me that makes me shudder.”
“How about the girl?”
Daniel smiled. “The girl is blond, beautiful, and innocent. I feel love for her.”
“How old are they in these images?”
“The woman is mid-thirties, I’d say, and the girl’s in her teens.” “Why do these images represent your wife and child?”
“Because I can’t imagine who else they might be?”
“Is the woman the mother of the young girl?”
Daniel dragged the chair in front of Dr. Lawrence, straddled it, and placed his arms across the back. “Now that you mention it, I doubt it.”
“What’s their relationship then?”
Daniel furrowed his forehead. “I really have no idea.”
“Then let’s not jump to conclusions about your marital status yet.”
“But they must be important to me if they’re the first memories I can come up with.”
“Maybe, maybe not. But this is a very good sign. You’re starting to recall your past, and little by little you’ll put the pieces together. Or, with a little luck, maybe it’ll all come back to you in a flash.”
“Is that what your psychiatrist friend tells you?”
“It is.”
“And is that what all the secrecy with Sarah and Conrad was about?” “No.”
Daniel stared at Dr. Lawrence for several seconds. “Sarah knows who I am, doesn’t she? I could feel it tonight by the way she looked at me.”
“She does.”
“Do you?”
“Daniel, we all are after what’s best for you. That means we need to tread with caution. There are probably good reasons why your mind has chosen to block out your past. I believe it’s healing itself along with your spirit. You gave your body time to heal from the cuts and bruises, now your mind needs time to heal itself so it can regain the will to recall.”
“Are you saying that can’t happen if you tell me who I am, where I came from, or who’s waiting for me?”
“That information is evolving just as your memory is.”
Dejected, Daniel sighed and dropped his head. “Can’t you at least tell me my name?
“Daniel.”
“My real name is Daniel?”
“Yes.”
“Wow. What’s my last name?”
“If you knew that, I’m sure you’d go off and research yourself, and I wouldn’t blame you if you did. Rest assured that we all are watching over you.”
“Does Elisabeth know?”
“Not yet. She hasn’t been told your real name is Daniel, either. Only Sarah, Conrad, and I—and, of course, Sheriff Williams—have that information.”
“Williams?”
“Yes.”
“Has he found out who attacked me?”
“Not yet.”
Daniel picked up the chair and replaced it. Leaning on the back of the chair he shook his head. “This is extremely unsettling.” He clenched his teeth. “I’m angry.. .Actually, I’m furious at your unwillingness to tell me. It isn’t fair.”
Dr. Lawrence nodded. “I understand that. All I ask is that you give us a little more time. And I’d like to see you every day from now on. The Thompsons have agreed to bring you to my office. I’m convinced we’ll make a lot of progress in the next few days.”
“You can’t decide what to tell me until you consult your doctor friend. Am I right?”
“In part.”
Daniel lowered his eyes and whispered, “What you’ve learned about me must be shocking, otherwise—”
“Daniel, listen to me. Don’t jump to such conclusions. As you trusted me with healing your body, trust me with this now. Please. The mind is not to be toyed with, and as I would consult with my colleagues on how to help heal a critical wound to someone’s body, I need to consult how best to help heal your mind and guide you through its recovery. That’s all.”
“I understand, but it’s irritating as hell that all of you know who I am and I don’t.”
“I can only imagine, but please give us a little more time. It won’t be long, I promise.
Daniel glared at him. “What choice do I have? None of you will tell me.” “Not at the moment.”
“Then why taunt me? Wouldn’t it have been better to keep me in the dark?”
Dr. Lawrence sighed. “Perhaps, but you asked, and I won’t lie to you.” Daniel resumed pacing, his hands absentmindedly rubbing his head. “I appreciate that Doc, but I’m having a lot of trouble keeping my temper in check right now.”
Dr. Lawrence stood up, went to his patient, and placed his hand on his shoulder. Daniel shrugged him off.
“Look at it this way, the good news is that we’ve discovered who you are, so that mystery has been solved. All that remains is to learn where you came from while allowing your mind the time it needs to bring the memories back on its own terms.”
Daniel turned to face the older man, his eyes glistening with angry tears. “I refuse to wait anymore, it’s making me crazy.”
“If you’d pulled a muscle, it would hurt, and you would have to rest and not use it until it got strong again. What we’re doing is for your own good.” Daniel backed away, reached the wall, and leaned his head against it. “I’ll do as you say, but please understand I’m furious.” After a few moments he turned with a worried look upon his face. “What about Elisabeth? Won’t it help her if she’s told? She’s upset with me as you probably noticed tonight. Maybe that’ll make her feel bett
er.”
“I did notice that she’s not herself. What brought on that change?”
“I told her I needed to come to terms with my feelings for her. She didn’t like it. I can’t blame her.”
“And what exactly are your feelings for her? Have you figured it out?”
“I love her so much,” he said as his jaw tightened, “that I ache every second that I’m not at her side. But now I’m terrified that I’m attached to someone I hate.”
“Let’s not go down that path for now. There’s much left to uncover.” “Why not tell Elisabeth what you’ve discovered?”
It was the doctor’s turn to avoid Daniel’s gaze, so he returned to the armchair, took his glasses off, and distractedly cleaned them with his sweater. “Because she wouldn’t be able to resist telling you all about it. For now, a certain distance between you is what’s best.”
“You mean well, Doc, but it’s infuriating. It stings to be a prisoner of kindness.”
“You’re not a prisoner.”
Enraged, Daniel approached the doctor. “Then what would you call it? I have no identity, no driver’s license, no possessions, no freedom, and no name. I’m completely in your hands to control as you wish. That makes me your prisoner.”
“Daniel—”
“We’re done here. I’m done with this whole charade. If I could, I’d take off this minute and drive as far as possible from here—from all this—I’d escape.” He took a deep breath. “As it is, all I can do when I leave this attic is wait until you’re all damn well ready to release me. Tell me that’s not captivity.” He turned on his heels and stormed out of the attic.
Dr. Lawrence whispered, “I hope to God we’re doing the right thing.”
CHAPTER 24
Embraced by the armchair in the attic, Sarah stared directly ahead unaware of her surroundings, viewing the movie in her mind’s eye.
A simple, varnished coffin lay at the bottom of an open grave. A shower of roses tumbled onto the lid followed moments later by two handfuls of dirt. Six feet above, Danny and his tearful mother, both dressed in black, stared down into the grave, enveloped in uncomfortable solemnity. All around them the citizens of Amaray departed in silence, heads bowed, shoulders slumped, faces somber. Once they had walked a safe distance they began whispering among themselves and shaking their heads as they trudged away from the cemetery and the church.