Just when I think that I am about to walk away without having to take one single drink, Zayne turns his eyes on me. “I've never played the guitar.” He says, a playful smile turning up the corners of his mouth.
All eyes suddenly turn to me and that's when I realize, I'm the only one who has. “You suck.” I say, sticking my tongue out at Zayne before raising my glass and taking a drink. The whiskey is disgusting and burns the whole way down. For a moment, I'm afraid it's going to come right back up but then Emma saves the day by handing me a water to chase it down with.
“Your turn Em.” Alec says, turning his attention to her.
“Okay, lets see. I've never...... been cliff diving.” She announces proudly. She smiles widely at me, knowing that I will have to drink before the full magnitude of her statement sinks in. “Oh shit Grace, I'm sorry... I just...” I wave my hand through the air, cutting her off.
“So I'm the only one then?” I ask, glancing around the circle as if nothing out of the ordinary just happened. I pretend like her words mean nothing but that doesn't stop the ache in my heart from intensifying a hundred fold at the thought of the one and only time I have gone cliff diving.
“I'm there with you baby girl.” Ian says cheerfully, leaning over to tap his cup to mine. I give him a sweet smile and then pour more of the fiery liquid down my throat. The second drink is no better than the first but I manage to get through it without losing the contents of my stomach.
After several rounds back to back where I end up drinking, I'm starting to notice a pattern. They are picking the most obvious things that they know I have done. Majored in English, went to Miami University, write music. You name it, they said it. By my seventh drink, it finally dawns on me that they are ganging up on me on purpose.
Realizing their game, I finally call their shit. “You guys suck. You are purposely making me drink.” I slur out, for the first time realizing just how much the whiskey is affecting me.
“Your turn Gracie.” Emma sings next to me, clearly buzzed as she has had to drink almost every turn as well.
“Okay, you wanna play that way.” I say, pinning my eyes on Zayne. “I've never had sex.” I slur out. Embarrassment instantly lights up my cheeks at the shocked look on his face. Shit why did I just say that? Damn whiskey.
Emma doesn't react, having already known this intimate detail of my life. My brothers both start laughing but Zayne doesn't seem to find it funny in the slightest. Instead he just sits there staring at me like I've grown two heads. I can feel the tension bubbling off of him and my stomach twists in the worst sort of way.
No one else seems to notice Zayne's reaction, which fades quickly when everyone once again raises their glasses and takes a drink. Zayne's eyes still have not left mine when Alec takes his next turn.
“Well that's more information than I really needed baby girl but I have to admit, I'm a bit relieved.” He says, smiling playfully.
“Oh shut up and go Alec.” I spit out, crossing my arms in front of my chest in a full blown pout.
“Okay. Well, I've never been in love.” He says, a shy smile spreading across his face in a very un-Alec like way. He usually bleeds confidence and with his looks and charisma I have no doubt that while Alec may have never been in love, there are certainly women out there who have loved him. Hell, I think my best friend might just be one of them.
My mind immediately drifts to Kyle and I lift my glass, emptying the contents of my drink. Emma and Ian follow suit but to my surprise Zayne doesn't drink. He's never been in love before? He's thirty two years old, how is that possible? But then again, Zayne is a lot like Alec in the way of women and I guess the knowledge shouldn't surprise me, only it does.
After four more rounds, Emma is a pile of giggles on the ground, Ian is slurring his words so badly that I can hardly make out what he's saying, and me, well let's just say I see myself sleeping in this very chair in the near future.
Alec, being the responsible one, puts an end to our charades. “Come on baby girl. Let's get you to bed.” He says, making his way over to me.
I shake him off. “No, I'm good here.” I say, laying back in the chair with a sigh of contentment.
“You're not sleeping out here by yourself.” He says, leaning down to pick me up. I swat him away.
“I'm a big girl Alec. I'll go to bed when I am damn good and ready.” I get out slurred. “Take Em up. She'll never get up the stairs by herself. I'll be up soon, I promise.” I say, peering up at him through my heavy eyelids.
He sighs and then turns his attention to my best friend who is still laying on the ground. “Fine.” He says, clearly not happy that I am not giving him his way. He scoops Emma up into his arms and then kicks Ian, gesturing for him to follow.
“Zayne, for the love of god, talk some sense into my sister would ya?” Alec calls over his shoulder as he heads up the stairs, Emma draped in his arms, Ian stumbling behind him.
I watch them until they disappear from view and then lean further down into my chair, closing my eyes. I know that Zayne is here, I can feel his eyes on me but I don't acknowledge his presence. Right now, with the alcohol running rapid through my bloodstream, there is no telling what I might do or say if I actually give myself time to think about the fact that we are down here all alone.
I hear him moving around but my eyes are too heavy to try to open them to find out what he's doing. The next thing I know, my body is being lifted clean off the chair and my eyes shoot open and lock on Zayne's. He has me cradled to his chest, his face so close to mine that I can smell the whiskey on his breath.
“What are you doing?” I get out weakly, on the verge of passing out or throwing up, I haven't decided which yet.
“I'm taking you to bed.” His voice comes out low and for a moment I misunderstand what he's saying and panic bolts through me, pulling me a little from my haze. He chuckles lightly, clearly realizing that I took it the wrong way. “Your bed. You need sleep.” He clarifies, not losing his grin.
“Well shit. Here I thought you were going to do something about my virgin status. Hmmm, fine. I'll just find someone else who can take care of that little problem for me.” I say, clearly teasing but that doesn't stop his expression from turning serious as his dark eyes bore into mine.
“That's not funny Grace. You can't just find a random person and have sex with them.” He says, shaking his head.
“Why not, isn't that what you do?” I cock my head to the side in question.
“It's different. I'm.... well I'm already tainted. But you... you're perfect.” The last part comes off his lips in a whisper and suddenly I am overtaken with a type of sexual want that I have never felt before in my life. I have never craved a man's touch, a man's kiss, but with this man, hell I'm craving things I have never even really thought about before. It's a strange and yet intoxicating feeling.
“Kiss me.” I vocalize the thought before I can take it back. Damn whiskey. I am going to hate myself in all kinds of ways tomorrow but for right now, I simply don't care. I guess that's the plus side of being drunk. I no longer care what I say or do. Honestly, it's freeing in a sense.
His face hovers over mine but he doesn't make any attempt to move closer. He just continues to hold me tightly against his sculpted chest, his eyes scanning mine like he's looking for something. “Unless you're too scared of course.” I tack on the last part trying to tempt him into it.
“I'm not scared Grace. But you should be.” He says, his face void of any playfulness.
Instantly I feel the sting of another rejection coming on. The alcohol intensifies every emotion and while all is great in the world, one wrong word can send you reeling off in a completely different direction.
“Put me down Zayne.” I say, my tone hard as stone. “Put me down. I can walk.” I say again, pushing away from his chest.
He sighs loudly and then finally sets me to my feet. My first step is a complete fail and I stumble forward. Zayne reaches out to steady me but I push his hands away. Righ
t now, I just want to get the fuck away from him. My second step is a little more successful and by the third, I feel like I have a pretty good balance and slowly start to make my way towards the stairs.
I stumble up a few and have to hang on to the hand rail to support a good portion of my weight but I end up making it up the stairs completely unscathed. Just as I am about to push my way through the back door, Zayne grabs my arm and spins me around to face him.
I don't have time to process anything as his lips instantly crash down on mine, hard. He pulls me into him, my feet leaving the ground as his mouth ravishes mine. He trails his tongue across my lower lip, silently asking permission. I grant it immediately, opening my mouth and letting him really kiss me. The second our tongues clash together, my body is overcome with a burning need so strong that I feel like I might tear apart from the pressure.
I wrap my hands around the back of his neck and pull him closer to me, wanting him so badly in this moment that I can't process one coherent thought. The passion running through me, the pleasure, it's unlike anything I have ever felt before and I never want it to go away. I want to feel like this always.
But before I can think about it for a second longer, Zayne breaks away from my mouth and rests his forehead to mine. I want to protest the loss but there are no words. The man has officially rendered me speechless.
“That never should have happened.” He says, taking a step backwards, not meeting my eyes. “Tell Alec and I'll deny everything.” He says coldly, stepping past me to open the door. I stare at him in shock for a few seconds before the anger takes hold. He just gave me the most passionate kiss of my life and all he is thinking about is me telling Alec.
“Yeah, same to you.” I bite out at him, the hurt apparent in my voice. I push past him before any other emotions have time to catch up with me. I stumble up the stairs as quickly as possible and slam my bedroom door shut before throwing myself face first on the bed.
So many emotions running through me accompanied by the alcohol is causing my head to spin and my insides to turn violently. I can't believe that just happened. I wanted him to kiss me, hell I asked him to. But I never dreamed he would do it and then when he did, I never expected it to feel that way. I didn't expect it to consume me and for me to never want it to end. What I should have expected was his reaction afterward. Zayne Evans is a heartless womanizer, why did I think he could be anything but?
Chapter Eight
I wake the next morning to the most intense headache I have ever experienced. I roll to my side and groan loudly. Why did I let them talk me into drinking whiskey of all things? I make a move to sit up but the entire room spins and my eyes are having difficulty adjusting to the brightness of the room. I peer over and catch sight of Emma passed out cold and as always, mumbling to herself.
After a couple of minutes, I manage to peel myself out of bed. Still dressed in the clothes from last night, I stumble to the bathroom and cringe when I catch sight of myself in the mirror. I pull at my tangled hair, trying to tame the mess of waves but it does me no good.
Deciding a shower is the only way I am going to feel even relatively normal again, I turn on the water and strip out of my wrinkled clothes. The warm water soothes my body but does nothing for my headache.
What the hell happened last night? I don't remember drinking that much. Hell, I don't remember much of anything. How did I get upstairs? Did I make an absolute fool of myself? Oh god, do I even want to know?
As the water fades from hot to a much cooler temperature, I struggle to recall the events that led me to the way I feel right now. I know it started with that stupid game that Ian suggested we play. Oh god! The memory of me announcing to everyone that I have never had sex comes back to me clear as day. It's not like it's some huge secret. Everyone knows I haven't dated since Kyle and if they didn't already know we hadn't slept together, they sure as hell do now.
I groan out, sinking my head into my hands. I am such an idiot. I don't drink often, clearly this is the reason why. But that's not all there was. I can't quite piece it together but I know that there is something that I am not remembering, something important.
I flip off the now cold water and slip a towel around my body. It isn't until my toothbrush hits my mouth that I remember Zayne's lips on mine. I stop mid-brush, remembering the way his tongue moved inside my mouth, the way my entire body lit up in his arms.
That didn't actually happen, did it? Certainly that part is just a crazy dream that I am confusing with my drunken actions. But then again, I know it was real. I can remember it so clearly. The way he pulled me into his arms, his hot breath against my face. No, it wasn't a dream at all but a staggering reality.
But like all good things, nothing can last forever and my mind chooses this moment to remind me of how the best moment of my life quickly turned into something else entirely. The way he pushed me away. How cold he was afterward.
The memory brings my anger back to the surface but it's not just Zayne that I am angry with. I'm angry with myself. I know that Kyle is gone and that he is never coming back but allowing myself to give into Zayne feels like such a betrayal just the same. After Kyle, I just couldn't bare the thought of being with another man on any level other than friendship. But last night I crossed that line. For the first time in five years, I allowed myself to give into the temptation of my older brother's sexy as sin best friend. And what's worse, he made me feel like a fool for it. He pushed me away like the kiss meant nothing to him. Did it even mean anything to me? I know the answer to that but I don't want to accept it.
Truth is, it meant a hell of a lot more to me than it should have and that knowledge alone leaves me not only angry and embarrassed but also terrified. What is wrong with me right now? I have gone five years not even looking in the direction of a man and then one day Zayne shows up and I feel like I am a completely different person. For the first time in a very long time, I feel normal. And for whatever reason, that feeling does not sit well with me.
After throwing on Emma's red bathing suit and slipping on a black sundress, I head downstairs in desperate need of water and some ibuprofen. I think the overflow of memories running through my brain like a movie has only intensified the ache running through my skull.
To my relief, the kitchen is empty and after grabbing a bottle of water and two headache pills, I head outside and flop down in one of the comfy chairs that looks out over the water.
I can't keep my mind from wandering to Zayne. While I am mad and hurt about the way he treated me, I'm also a little grateful at the same time. I know that I need to avoid him. Him being a complete asshole only makes that task easier. Besides, do I really believe there could be any kind of future for us? Hell, I think dating would even be a massive stretch for a man like Zayne. And of course, I can't forget about Alec. Zayne is his best friend, his business partner, and the one person he trusts more than anyone else in the world, probably even more than me.
I don't know a whole lot about their friendship. Just that they are very close and that Zayne helped Alec through some pretty challenging times after they moved to New York. Alec would never tell me what exactly but from what I have gathered, Zayne helped him out in some big ways and things like that don't go unnoticed by my oldest brother.
He doesn't trust easily and he trusts Zayne. That's really saying something. Suddenly my petty infatuation with Zayne seems so much less important. Yes, I need to avoid him for my own well being but I also need to avoid him for Alec. Being as overprotective of me as he is, I can't see him taking something like a fling between me and his best friend lightly.
“How are you feeling Gracie?” Rob's voice interrupts my thoughts and I turn my attention to him. He looks freshly showered and completely energized. I only wish that I shared in his enthusiasm to face another day.
“I've been better.” I shrug, turning my attention back out to the water.
“Rumor has it your two knucklehead brothers fed you a half a bottle of whiskey last night. I must
admit, I thought I would find you passed out in the bathroom this morning.” He chuckles lightly and then takes the seat next to me.
“Stomach of steel.” I laugh, patting my belly. “My head on the other hand.” I say, running my fingers across my still aching forehead.
“Yeah, hard liquor will do that to you.” He says, another light chuckle escaping his lips.
“So who spilled the beans?” I ask, glancing to meet his eyes.
“Ian.” He says on a light laugh as if the answer should be obvious. “Well that and I came down for a glass of water last night and I sort of saw you and Zayne on the patio.” He says apologetically.
Instantly fear cripples me and I have to take a deep breath to calm myself. Before I have a chance to respond, he speaks again. “Don't worry, your secrets safe with me.” He says, giving me a wink. “But I wouldn't be a very good step father if I didn't at least try to warn you about men like Zayne.”
I hold my hand up to stop him. “You don't need to say anything Rob. I know. And last night was definitely a one time thing.” I say, relaxing back into my seat.
“Well I would be lying if I said I wasn't relieved to hear that. You're a sweet girl Gracie, you deserve a man who will appreciate you and cherish you. I really want that for you kiddo. I know you've had a lot of shit luck but I think one day you're going to find a man that you love so much that all the bad things will seem a little less important. We always carry those we have lost with us but eventually we learn to love again.” He reaches out and pats my hand.
“Thank you Rob.” I say sincerely. “And not just for this talk but for everything you've done for my mom. After dad died, I didn't think I would ever see her smile again. But you have brought her back to life and for that I will forever be grateful.”
“I appreciate that Gracie. But I think she is the one who brought me back to life, not the other way around.” He says, his eyes breaking away from mine to stare out at the water.
Collide (Two Hearts, #1) Page 5