by Auriane Bell
“I killed a man before your eyes, dragged you away from your home and forced you into one precarious situation after the other. And just then I held you down so you couldn’t move. I bet your wrists are still hurting.”
Mairin impulsively shook her head even though he was right but he didn’t seem to take notice of it and continued.
“Well… then there are those unpleasant paintings and despite all of it…” He broke off.
“Despite all of it we’ve become alarmingly close,” she finished his sentence in her mind. Could that be what he had wanted to say?
Although a considerable amount of time had already passed, Adrijan continued to hold her in his arms. Was she allowed not to want him to stop?
“Vivian said you really are a priest... so this is alright, isn’t it?”
Mairin cursed herself for even wondering about it.
“Mhm...”
Adrijan’s reply reassured her but she couldn’t rid herself of the feeling that he didn’t sound pleased. Despite his answer he suddenly released her from his embrace and backed away a little, confirming her worry.
“Was it wrong of me to inquire about it in your absence?”
“You wouldn’t have done it if you hadn’t wanted to know, right?”
“That’s true. I really wanted to know.”
“Why?”
Thinking about it, Mairin realised, that there were more reasons than she wanted to reveal to him.
“Well... back at Sunflower Garden... “
“You don’t have to talk about it if it’s difficult for you.”
It was difficult for her, yet Adrijan was the one person she wanted to tell about it. Someday.
“I won’t bore you with details about what happened before you arrived, but the way you saved me... I’ve never seen a priest fight. The way you are, the things you do... if you weren’t dressed in this manner I would’ve never guessed you were a priest.”
Mairin was surprised by her own frankness.
“At least I fulfil some of the requirements,” he said jokingly and Mairin wasn’t sure what besides his clothes he was talking about.
“How do you do it? Believing in God I mean. I have to admit that I falter at times.”
“I never said I believed in God.”
Mairin was lost for words.
“Let’s discuss that matter another time,” Adrijan suggested, “didn’t you want to know about the painting?”
“Mhm.” Mairin was a little disappointed. As much as she saw the need for knowing about the painting, she feared it and would have rather delayed talking about the unpleasant matter.
“Alright then. Let me take a sip of coffee before I doze off.”
With these words he turned away from her and went to his cup that was containing the already cold drink.
Was he out of his mind? For years he had tried to stay away from women and now he had impulsively embraced the girl. Adrijan tried to calm himself. There was no reason to be upset. As long as Mairin kept seeing him as a priest there surely wasn’t anything to worry about. She would remain the immortal’s bride and the only reason she had let him get close was the absence of his brother when she had needed him most.
The coffee tasted unusually bitter yet he felt an odd pleasure in empting the cup. It was ironically fitting the situation. He was feeling torn between running away and returning to Mairin’s side and whatever he decided to do, it would be tinged with a certain bitterness.
“Alright then...” Adrijan put down the cup and sat down on the chair.
“Would it be too much to ask you to sit here on the bed next to me?” Mairin’s words astonished him and had a stronger effect on his fatigue than the roughly fifty milligrams of caffeine he had just taken in.
“Should I go ask Vivian to keep you company until you fall asleep?”
“No!” Her response was rash and emotional. “No... that won’t be necessary. I just thought… it would be more comfortable…
You wanted to tell me about the painting,” she added more quietly.
What did she want from him? Had she possibly enjoyed the warmth as much as he had? Adrijan could clearly remember the last time he had embraced someone – it had been one of his victims and he had taken no pleasure in it. He had simply done what the woman had asked from him and the only feelings that had been left behind had been the never-ending pain, regret and disgust that had been his constant companions for years.
“Father Adrijan?”
A shiver went down his spine. “Please stop calling me that. I told you it was fine to call me by my name.”
Mairin simply nodded. It was finally time to give her the explanation he still owed her. Adrijan cleared his throat.
“Tell me, what do you know about unicorns?”
“Unicorns? Not much I’m afraid, just that they look like this.” Mairin pointed at the mosaic. “They are horses – with horns.”
Adrijan grinned. “That’s correct even if it’s a very prosaic description if I may say so.”
Mairin inclined her head.
“They are mythical beings, horse-like creatures, rumoured to be incredibly powerful. Their skin is of the purest white, sparkling as if it were covered by thousands upon thousands of diamonds. A large spiralling horn projects from their foreheads – the ainkhürn – of which is said that it enables its owner to perform all kind of unbelievable magic.”
Mairin gazed at him spellbound, reminding him of a little girl who enjoyed her good-night story and he noticed that he also found pleasure in telling the tale.
“In their eyes lies eternal wisdom and purity – a single look into them is enough to make the fiercest murderer repent and shed his tears like an innocent child. Surrounding their graceful head and neck flows their long, silvery gleaming mane, every hair being finer than the finest silk floss – and even if it’s absolutely calm it seems that a gentle breeze is blowing through it.”
“The mosaic doesn’t do them justice,” Mairin noted jokingly.
“Not at all,” he agreed with a smile. “As you now know they are the true embodiment of grace, beauty and innocence. And even though they are truly powerful they decide to stay hidden from us humans – most of us anyway.”
“Hmm… most of us?”
“It is said that the only exception is a virgin maiden.”
“Oh… “
Adrijan was wondering what went on in Mairin’s head.
“Anyway, that’s what you’re seeing there.” This time it was he who was pointing at the mosaic.
“How do you know the maiden is…”
Was she really asking what he thought she did?
“She is wearing clothes of deep blue, it’s the colour of the Virgin Mary and since the whole mosaic is about symbolism this is probably no exception.”
“I see.” For a moment her cheeks showed a faint shade of red. “And what about the butterflies?”
If Mairin hadn’t changed the topic he would have done it.
“Ah… how many are there? Have you counted them yet?”
Mairin eyes flew over the mosaic as she counted them. “One, two, three… seven, there are seven butterflies.”
“Seven, like the seven heavenly virtues: humilitas, caritas, castitas, patientia, temperantia, humanitas and industria.”
“Humility, charity, chastity, patience, temperance, benevolence and diligence,” the girl translated simultaneously.
Adrijan nodded, scarcely hiding his astonishment. Either Mairin knew them by heart or her Latin was formidable.
“Then the seven black butterflies in the painting downstairs must represent the seven deadly sins…” Mairin realised.
“Mhm. I believe so.”
“Still… what does any of that have to do with me? The immortal has hardly invited me to stay with him so he can catch a unicorn.”
Adrijan couldn’t suppress a smirk. So he had been right about her if she thought herself capable of enticing a unicorn.
“No, I’m afraid no
t. It would be nice if they existed though.”
“So you’re certain they don’t? I mean I didn’t have any doubts about it until a few days ago… but then I encountered strange vehicles and magical light.”
“I’m sorry, no unicorns,” he said with feigned sternness.
“Oh well.” Mairin sighed. “You still haven’t told me what the mosaic and the painting have to do with my future.”
Adrijan realised that he had to be careful. After all, it was Vivian’s wish that it wouldn’t be revealed to her yet.
“The brides are usually girls like her.” Adrijan gestured towards the girl in the mosaic who looked so much like Magdala. “Pure and innocent. Once they start living here and get to know Vivian they undergo some change.”
“So he was trying to tell me that he’d turn me into the devil?”
“Maybe.” Adrijan paused. It was difficult to explain without running into danger of saying too much. “Can you specify the seven deadly sins?”
“Hmm… there’s pride and gluttony…” Mairin started to list them.
“Mhm, superbia and gula. Pride is one of the first vices to notice. Of course someone who has been chosen for the immortal has to be special. At least that’s what everyone believes and also what quickly manifests in the girls’ heads and hearts. About gluttony I’m not so sure… we do have excellent food here and some of the girls were quite prone to certain alcoholic beverages.”
Mairin laughed. “I’ve noticed the food. I hope breakfast will be just as delicious.”
Adrijan nodded. “Surely.” He was wondering if she even knew what she had drunk last night.
“Gula might also refer to insatiability – once you’ve gotten a taste of luxury it’s hard to live without it,” he added.
“Sounds plausible,” Mairin agreed, “Hmmm… next would be gluttony’s sister – avaritia?”
“Correct. Being greedy as Vivian’s wife holds a certain difficulty though. He showers them in everything they desire: jewels, clothes, fame… whatever comes to mind. There’s also no need to work, so sloth – acedia – is next on the list.”
“Leaving only three: wrath, envy.. and lust.”
“Ira, invidia and luxuria,” Adrijan translated. “A triple – one draws out the other. I’m sure you have noticed that Vivian is… has a certain charm. Everyone wants him but nobody wants to share, which of course provokes conflict.”
“I see.” Mairin didn’t sound happy and he wasn’t surprised.
“So that’s the big secret about the two pieces of art,” Adrijan said with a tired smile.
“Now that I’ve been warned I’ll try not to succumb to those sins,” Mairin announced. “Well.. perhaps it’s already too late for that.”
Of course it was. Who could resist the immortal and his lifestyle? Adrijan stayed quiet.
“Are you quite certain Vivian isn’t a… Lampire?”
“Vampire,” he corrected her. This was something that was hard to deny. Wasn’t there some similarity? No, he wasn’t a vampire, and that’s what he’d tell the girl too.
“Mhm, he is neither a lamp nor a vampire,” he teased her.
“But how can you be sure? About him not being a vampire,” Mairin sounded mildly annoyed.
Why didn’t she just give up? If she continued like this he would start to believe that she wanted him to be a monster.
“I’ve known him almost all my life. Don’t worry, he’s a good guy. And now I’ll let you get some sleep.”
Mairin looked as if she wanted to protest but then she simply sunk into her pillows. Adrijan used his chance to escape.
They were interrupted by an unassertive knocking at the door.
“Who is this?” Vivian grumbled.
“It’s me.”
The immortal immediately recognized Adrijan’s voice and jumped up from the bed, earning a sullen complaint. He ignored it and with three big steps he was there. His hand was already resting on the handle yet he paused before he casually opened the door.
“Good morning, brother. Everything alright?”
Adrijan’s raised eyebrows reminded him that he was naked. “Envious?”
“Oh, not at all. I’m satisfied to see I’m not the only one who passed the night waking.”
It was hard to miss that Adrijan hadn’t gotten any sleep even without him telling.
“No repose needed. I can still go on for hours.” Vivian grinned meaningfully. “You wanted to talk to me?”
He was curious why his brother had shown up at his doorstep at a time like this. It had to be at least somewhat urgent, since this was one of the rooms he only used for a certain pastime. It wasn’t close to his quarters and well located near the servants.
“About the painting in Mairin’s bathroom… it’s me, isn’t it?”
Vivian had already suspected that he wouldn’t like it, yet its existence wasn’t even his fault – not entirely at least.
“I commissioned the painting a while ago. The artist almost begged me to let him paint you as a demon and I didn’t want to deny him the pleasure.”
“How could you? It’s Magdala… why did you commission such a painting? Besides, it almost scared the girl to death…”
“I was already wondering where you got that nice scratch from.”
His brother was obviously upset about the whole affair, yet Vivian didn’t intend to talk about it at this hour. Adrijan looked tired and worn out. Instead of discussing such a matter with him in his current state he was supposed to recover from the events of the past days.
“I’ll explain everything to you later.”
“Don’t evade the question.”
Of course he would have asked the maid to leave without a second thought so they could talk privately but considering the circumstances her presence was a welcome excuse.
“Talk!” Adrijan demanded.
Vivian nonchalantly opened the door a bit further and stepped aside to give Adrijan a clear view of his company.
“As you can see I’m not alone. Let’s continue this discussion later.” He was aware that this was the only way to force his brother to retreat to his quarters.
“Hello, Father Démon! Such a bad timing.” A look over his shoulder told Vivian that Cathy had sat up in bed. She cheerfully waved at Adrijan like a little girl without making an attempt to cover herself. Even after seven-hundred years he still wasn’t completely able to understand women.
“Don’t you want to join us?” she purred.
Vivian frowned. Wasn’t he enough for her?
For a moment he believed to see disgust on Adrijan’s face, then his brother simply shook his head, turned around and left. Vivian continued watching him for a few more moments before he closed the door. Adrijan was never going to get over his past.
“That was a very naughty thing to do,” Vivian scolded the maid and picked up his underwear from the floor. Cathy pouted but didn’t respond. Sometimes he thought to understand Adrijan perfectly – sometimes a life without women didn’t seem so bad.
A cold waft of air greeted him as he opened the door to the small balcony. Before stepping outside he grabbed a cigarette from the box on the small table and picked up the lighter that was lying on the nightstand. He wallowed in many vices but smoking usually wasn’t one of them.
It was cold out here, just what he needed. Vivian lit the cigarette and took a pull, feeling the pleasure of deliberately shortening one’s life. Oh he knew it well, the small cowardly joy. Lost in thought he put down the lighter on the railing and gave it a little push. It quickly dwindled and soon it was out of sight, resting somewhere on the ground down there. If it had been him he wouldn’t be lying there now. He would still be on his way straight to Hades. Vivian took another pull of his cigarette and turned around, shivering. It would be easy though, wouldn’t it? Repose was just a little jump away. Vivian shook his head. He wasn’t allowed to do it. He was condemned to live. At least Mairin promised to give variety to their daily routine. His brother had never b
een like this before. Usually he was aloof and frigid around others. Vivian smiled. Cherchez la femme.
“Won’t you come back to bed?” Cathy beckoned.
“Ah... what the heck…” he mumbled, put out the cigarette and went inside.
So the woman he had refused had found a playmate after all. It was ironic how some seemed to put so much effort into doing it, whereas others fought for their right not to. Adrijan noticed that he was repeatedly shaking his head. If he hadn’t known Vivian the way he did, he would’ve lost all respect for him a long time ago. Of course there was more than one reason for a man to share his bed with a woman but he could guess wherein the root of his brother’s insatiability lay. At least all of the servants had to undergo a thorough health check before coming to Mondstein castle. And who was he to tell its master whom to share his bed with?
By the time Adrijan reached his rooms he had calmed down and felt overcome by an undeniable weariness. Unlike Vivian’s, his quarters only comprised a small bathroom and a Spartan study that also contained his bed. He had felt no need for luxury nor had he been willing to grant himself more than this. Vivian on the other hand wouldn’t deny him anything. He had always tried to spoil him and Adrijan had done his best not to yield to temptation and to reject the countless gifts. There had only been a few exceptions, like his own bathroom, the delicious food and Nebel of course, who was less part of his possessions than he was a friend.
Adrijan took off his clothes and neatly put them on the chair before he closed the blinds and slipped under the thin blanket. Vivian had tried to hide the first class materials by using a simple design for the bed. Why had his half-brother never forsaken him? Fatigue swashed over Adrijan like heaving waves over a defenceless fishing boat in the stormy sea. His limbs and eyelids felt leaden yet the fear of what would follow let him struggle. Mairin wasn’t the only person with nightmares but in contrast to her dreams, his usually were a patchwork of his worst memories. Adrijan felt an intense craving for rest, a rest that wouldn’t come. For so long he had kept death at bay and now it seemed that even its brother sleep didn't dare to approach him, not even on invitation. Constantly haunted by his past and the evil he had observed, endured, there had never been much repose for him. Adrijan closed his eyes and tried to control his breath. In. Out. In. Out. He focused on the flow of air and the slow rising and falling of his chest that was accompanied by his rhythmic heartbeat. Had Mairin already fallen asleep? Was he allowed to think of her or would he by doing so drag her into an abyss that was only meant for him? Adrijan turned around and moved his back closer to the wall. If he asked Vivian for her, would he grant him his wish? No, it was wrong. Mairin didn’t belong to him, never would, and nobody had the right to give her to him like an object. The mere thought of wanting her was absurd. He had seen what cruelty this kind of longing had awoken in men and he decided to suppress it at all cost.