by Auriane Bell
“Don’t mind her manners. I don’t know who she is taking after but as you can see she is a bit of a tomboy.”
“It’s fine,” Mairin urged herself to say.
The girl was pretty, like her mother, but at the same time the differences were conspicuous. Her skin was of a much darker complexion and her short, straight hair that was as black as onyx hardly touched her shoulders. Through hazelnut eyes the girl glared at Mairin making her instantly regret having come empty-handed. Sometimes it was easiest to buy one’s way into a child’s heart with sweets or toys.
“Won’t you have a seat, Mairin? I may call you, Mairin, right? I feel like we’re friends already!”
Mairin nodded with a forced smile, mentally shivering. She had been defeated before ever having waged war. Adrijan and Vivian had told her that they were both clueless about their guest’s identity but she wouldn’t have been surprised to be looking at the female reincarnation of Sun-tzu.
Änlin had chosen well when she had asked Hilda to set everything up in the ‘peach room’. Despite the biting cold that was still reining the lands around Mondstein castle the warm tones of the floor, wall and furniture that reached from a subtle rosy red to a light orange, allowed her to experience a pleasant anticipation of warmer seasons. The positive effects the ambience had on her ceased the moment Mairin realised that she was going to be a married woman by the time it was spring.
Engelin joined them at the table, still being openly hostile towards her.
“Really, Engelin, you must not be this impolite towards our guest,” Änlin scolded her without effect.
Hilda approached to take their orders and after the hostess had asked for some tea and it was Mairin’s turn, Engelin pre-empted her.
“I’ll have some cocoa,” she announced cheekily.
“Coffee, please,” Mairin added after a short moment of awkward silence.
“Oh, how vulgar,” Engelin commented in disgust.
She felt like she was dreaming, having to take abuse from this little pain in the neck.
“How old are you, child?”
“How impertinent to ask a lady about her age!” Engelin snapped. “Yet I shall answer since I can see that all hope is lost with you.”
Engelin raised her hands, showing her five fingers on her right and three on her left.
“That makes eight, in case you can't count”
Änlin burst out laughing. "What a girl!"
“What a brat,” Mairin corrected Änlin in her thoughts, feverishly trying to stay calm by reminding herself that Engelin was just a child.
“Hear, hear! Her majesty has granted a peasant a spark of her wisdom,” Mairin said and mischievously ruffled Engelin's hair. She knew from her brothers that some children utterly despised being looked down upon and wanted to be treated as equals. Well, she wouldn’t do her that favour.
Engelin hissed and glared at her with her precocious eyes. It was too late though. Her hair already gave the impression that a minor tornado had used it as its playground.
Luckily Hilda prevented the situation from escalating by serving the ordered beverages and Änlin revealed a small surprise she had prepared.
“I hope you like them. I was allowed to use Mondstein’s kitchen this morning and decided to make some éclairs.”
“They look delicious,” Mairin said without having to lie. She had to admit that she hadn’t thought the beautiful Änlin capable of preparing food of any kind.
“To me éclairs are the undeniable proof that man created sin,” Änlin jested, handing one to her on a plate.
Mairin took a bite and absorbed all of its wonderful sweetness.
“Tell me, how did you get to know the master of Mondstein castle?” the hostess asked.
“I… I was selected to be his bride.”
“But there haven’t been any gatherings for years. Do you know what happened?”
Änlin’s curiosity made her feel uncomfortable.
“I’m not certain, no.”
The hostess elegantly stirred the tea with her pale hand, not allowing the spoon to make a sound by touching the fine porcelain.
“Aren’t you happy that you’ll be wed to Vivian soon? He’s the epitome of a man, don’t you agree? You must be very much in love with him.”
“Well… “ Happiness… there it was again.
“Are you alright? He didn’t do anything funny to you, did he?”
“No. In the beginning I was scared of him but...”
What was she saying? Änlin was probably getting the wrong idea.
“I didn’t know him well then,” she tried to explain.
“I see,” Änlin said, sounding suspicious. “You should always be able to defend yourself though. Look, I always carry this with me – just in case.”
Mairin almost flinched as Änlin pulled back the sleeve of her dress, revealing a small dagger. “One can never be too careful in a man’s presence, right?”
“Uh… right,” Mairin replied laughing nervously. What was it with that woman? She threw a glance at Engelin to see if the child was scared but the girl was focusing on eating her éclair and didn’t seem to care at all about their conversation.
“Tell me if you need any help.”
Mairin nodded. Änlin seemed to mean well at least.
“I must say that Vivian doesn’t strike me as a man who would do you any harm. I’m not so certain about this other fellow though. What was his name again? Jan? Arian?”
“Are you talking about… the priest – about Adrijan?” Mairin asked unbelievingly.
“Well, you know how it is, all those suppressed desires…” Änlin explained.
She was at a loss for words.
“May I ask you something?” Magdala’s double continued.
“Hm?” Mairin didn’t care for more questions.
“It’s about Vivian. Is there an item he always carries with him? It may look like jewellery… like an hour glass perhaps?”
If she hadn’t already swallowed the last bite of her éclair she would have probably choked on it.
“An hour glass?” she asked, unwilling to reveal her groom’s secret to a stranger. “Hmm.”
“Well?” Änlin’s voice still sounded friendly but also impatient.
“No. I’m sorry. I don’t think there’s anything like it,” she lied. “Why are you asking?”
“It’s a lost family heirloom,” she replied without showing any signs that it wasn’t the truth.
“I hope Vivian will be able to supply you with a clue to its whereabouts at least. His vast knowledge never ceases to amaze me.”
Every further lie seemed to pass her lips more easily than the previous one.
“So you really don’t love him?” Engelin’s sudden question took her with surprise.
“Love who?”
“Vivian of course, your groom.” Just with the sound of her voice she had added a ‘stupid’ at the end of the sentence to address her.
“Like your mother suggested, he’s the perfect man,” Mairin avoided her question.
“I see,” Engelin mumbled seemingly unconcerned.
Änlin offered her another éclair but before she could accept the plate, Engelin jumped up from the chair, knocked over her cup of cocoa and calmly watched its still hot content run over the table and on Mairin’s lap.
“Engelin!” her mother exclaimed.
Adrijan’s look fell on the cocoa that was dripping from the table onto Mairin’s lap. Despite what must have just taken place, everyone’s gaze was directed towards him. Quickly he picked up a napkin from the side table next to Hilda and was about to start cleaning the mess when he realised where he was about to touch Mairin. Embarrassed he handed her the piece of cloth and stepped back.
“I apologise for intruding,” he said. “Hilda told me about this small gathering and I decided to invite myself.”
Änlin’s daughter turned away from the table and scurried behind him.
“I’m scared,” she cried.
“The evil woman will hurt me, but it was just an accident!”
“Now, now, Engelin. Don’t bother the priest with your silly ideas,” Änlin scolded her.
He questioningly looked at Mairin, who just shrugged and continued to try to contain the cocoa.
“Don’t let her hurt me, Mr. priest!” Engelin begged under tears.
“Nobody is going to hurt you, child,” he tried to comfort her. He couldn’t even imagine Mairin doing something like that, but it was obvious that the girl was hiding from her and nobody else.
“Please, join us, Father,” Änlin invited him, gesturing at the unused chair.
Carefully he loosened Engelin’s grip on his cassock and led her to her mother, gently pushing her forwards. Änlin immediately took the girl into her arms and cradled her, but Engelin continued to cry.
Adrijan was puzzled by the girl’s behaviour as well as by the frown on Mairin’s face. What had happened before he had entered the ‘plum room’? Awkwardly he closed the door, took another napkin and sat down at the table.
“These éclairs look delicious,” he observed in an attempt to lighten the mood.
“Oh, please have one, Father,” Änlin offered as he unfolded the napkin and started to fold it in a different way.
“I will, once the little lady has calmed down,” he replied.
Mairin couldn’t keep herself from following Adrijan’s fingers with her gaze as he folded the napkin quickly and precisely until it had taken the shape of a flower.
“Look here, I have something for you, little one,” he said to gain Engelin’s attention. “Won’t you cheer up?”
Carefully he put his creation on the girl’s reached out palms. With an ecstasy that was typical of a child she rejoiced in the small piece of art, having completely forgotten about her hysteria and crocodile tears. Proudly she presented the gift to her mother.
Mairin hadn’t expected Adrijan to be capable of handling the girl that well.
“Has Hilda informed you about tomorrow’s dress fitting?” he asked her quietly.
Even though he had lowered his voice and Änlin and Engelin had seemed distracted the girl suddenly turned around, her eyes glowing with excitement.
“A dress fitting? Oh, how wonderful!” she exclaimed. “Oh, may I come? May I look at the dresses?”
With effort Mairin suppressed the refusal that lay on her lips and while everyone’s attention was resting on her she was looking for a reasonable excuse.
“Of course,” she discontentedly replied, unable to come up with one.
“I will make sure that she doesn’t disturb anyone,” Änlin said, inviting herself as well.
Mairin threw a grumpy glance at Adrijan who avoided her gaze and seemed strangely focused on eating an éclair. Her mood had been ruined once and for all and she hardly took notice of the small talk that was led at the table. After a while Adrijan got up from the chair and announced that it was time for him to leave. Engelin, whose behaviour had been reformed by his presence, was upset about it, put down her precious newly acquired possession and held him back at the door.
“Mr. priest,” she said, tugging at his clothes. “There is something I want to tell you!” Engelin energetically gestured him to come closer, so she could whisper into his ear. Adrijan obediently crouched down and as soon as he was in reach, Engelin kissed him on his cheek. “Thank you very much for the flower!” she exclaimed and went back to her mother’s side, giggling.
Mairin was speechless as the girl sneakily stuck out her tongue at her. She sincerely hoped that it was the last act of Engelin’s devious conduct.
Countless dresses were presented by lovely young women, who repeatedly entered and left the room, each time wearing a different dream in white.
Mairin sighed. She didn’t much care which kind of dress she was going to wear to the ceremony that was to mark the beginning of her end.
The coming and going of the beautiful model brides was accompanied by exclamations of admiration and very soon she was tired of the repetitious “Oh!” and “Ah!” of the people who were meant to help her decide. To her left – and for her taste far too close – Änlin and her daughter were sharing a spacious armchair. Hilda and a few other maids who helped Mairin in her every day’s life stood behind her, from time to time whispering that this was the dress she should choose.
How many more garments could there possibly be? And what if she hadn’t decided by the time they had finished? Would the demonstration start from the beginning? Mairin was strangely amused by that thought.
“What an ugly dress!” Engelin suddenly exclaimed.
Mairin pricked her ears and took a good look at the dress the girl seemed to dislike that much. It was perfect in every way – it was exceptional, shocking and hated by Engelin. Just before the model could leave, Mairin slowly got up from the chair, savouring the moment.
“Wait! This is the one I want,” she announced firmly.
Hilda wasn’t any less astonished by the choice Mairin had made than everyone else. Engelin flounced out of the room in a huff, followed by her mother Miss von Kirchberg. The dress viewing was over and none of the people who were present – except for Mairin and herself – were going to be at the fitting later on. Hilda’s colleagues were stirred up and chattering in excitement.
“What is she thinking?” one asked.
“It’s far too revealing,” the other agreed.
“How could she!”
Mairin had returned to the chair after having made some arrangements.
“The fitting will be in half an hour in my rooms, Hilda,” her mistress informed her.
“Very well, Miss,” she replied awkwardly. Like the others, she wasn’t convinced of her strange choice but seeing that Mairin’s mood had changed for the better motivated her to support it.
“What a ghastly dress,” someone whispered behind her.
“That stuck up wannabe princess really has no taste.”
“What does Adonis see in her anyway?”
Adonis was only one of the flattering nicknames they had given the master of Mondstein castle.
“She must have some qualities for sure.”
Who had suggested that? Hilda turned around and cleared her throat, trying to tell them that they had gone far enough. Nervously she faced her mistress, wondering if she had overheard the chatter.
“Just look at her. I bet she hasn’t even done it yet!”
The person who had made the tasteless remark hadn’t even tried to keep their voice down. “That’s enough now,” Hilda admonished the maids. “Go back to work, all of you!”
Before she had become Mairin’s personal maid she had had little authority over the others, but now they had to follow her command. Some of them showed their dislike about it but all of them obeyed.
At last she and Mairin were the only ones to remain in the hall and relieved Hilda took a deep breath.
“Miss, I apologise for…” Mairin’s face had turned pale. “Miss Muriel, are you alright?”
“No, Hilda. I think I’m going to be sick,” she said in a low voice. She had put one hand on her stomach and raised the other to her mouth.
“This way, Miss!” Hilda said, leading her to the exit and hoping that she would hold out until they had reached the nearest bathroom. Where was it anyway? Was it to the left? Hilda repeatedly threw a glance at her mistress to see if was able to continue. Only moments later they had reached the end of the corridor. Right, they had to turn right, she remembered just in time.
“We’re almost there now.”
Hastily she opened the door to the bathroom and turned on the lights. Mairin was struggling.
“It’s alright, Miss,” she said and put her mistress’s hands on the washing basin. “Bear with it a little longer, I’ll fetch help!”
Hilda furrowed her brows and started running. Could her mistress be pregnant?
Mairin swallowed hard.
“Stay down there!” she demanded desperately yet the urge to empty h
er stomach was persistent. At first she had only felt moderately unwell, but meanwhile the feeling that she had to be sick had made its way to her throat. Again she swallowed. What was wrong with her? Mairin’s breathing was unusually fast and she started to feel lightheaded.
“Calm down!” Hadn’t she just been satisfied with her decision? What was happening to her?
“Breathe steadily!”
It was no use. Having pins and needles in her arms added to her increasing panic.
And then she couldn’t hold it in any longer.
A strong pair of hands supported her as she was no longer in control of her own body. The same person who kept her from tumbling, turned on the water and then gently stroked her back while still keeping the other hand firmly around her upper arm.
“I’m here now. You’re going to be alright, don’t worry.” Adrijan’s voice only calmed her until she realised what she had just made him witness.
“I’m sorry,” she mumbled. After the incident the unwanted feeling had subsided but to her dismay it was quietly growing stronger again.
“Don’t be silly. Try to breathe slowly. Concentrate on the flow of air. Imagine how it supplies your body with energy.”
Mairin did as he had suggested but soon her efforts were interrupted. Once more she was unable to hold back. This time she felt even weaker and her hands slipped off the edges of the washing basin as her body was shaken by the spasms.
Exhausted Mairin gasped for breath. Another wave had ended and she rinsed out her mouth with water. Perhaps this time she was going to be alright.
“Thank you, Adrijan, but I think I’ll be just fi-“
Mairin wasn’t able to finish her sentence and he was starting to seriously worry about her. The first thing that had come to his mind had been Änlin’s éclairs but Mairin’s condition didn’t give him the impression of food poisoning. There was neither enough substance nor was it the right time interval for the appearance of the symptoms. Was this part of a panic attack? There surely was no reason for that. Adrijan sighed. Vivian would have probably known at once what the cause of her suffering was.