Lust

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by Melissa Andrea


  She didn’t trust me, and it wasn’t like I had given her any reason to when we first met. But Meela hadn’t been Meela then, and I had been the world’s cockiest fucking idiot. A part of me had thought she’d be impressed, turned on even, and she’d be begging me to fuck her before we left the courthouse. Did I mention cockiest fucking idiot?

  I’d been all wrong about Meela, and I was paying dearly for treating her like one of the many women who flocked to my side, as she put it.

  I had to prove to her that I could be trustworthy. That she could depend on me for whatever she needed for the next couple of months. After my comments on the day I’d found out, whatever the hell I did to prove to her that I could be there had better be fucking good.

  Rolling on to my side, I came face to face with my alarm clock. It read 5:00 a.m., so the sun would be making an appearance soon. Giving up on getting any more sleep, I threw my legs over the bed and made my way to the bathroom.

  Meela’s doctor’s appointment was scheduled for ten, so I had a few hours before I had to meet her. To say I was completely terrified was putting it mildly. I had no idea what to expect, and that left me feeling out of control, and I didn’t like that so much.

  Since the day I met Meela, I hadn’t felt in control of anything.

  After a quick shower, I slipped on a pair of sweats and padded off to the kitchen. I put on a pot of coffee and leaned against the island. My mind was reeling, but I still had no clue how I was going to get Meela to stay. Nothing I could say seemed worthwhile.

  I gripped the counter behind me, feeling the strain in my biceps as I teetered forward. I was staring at the tile on the kitchen floor when it hit me. Spinning on the balls of my feet, I pounded my fists on the countertop in no particular rhythm.

  I got my laptop and cell phone and went to work. Two hours and several phone calls later, everything was in place. It was a huge risk, and there was a 98% chance she was totally going to freak out and leave anyway, but it was go big or go home time.

  I was bouncing off the walls until it was time to leave to meet Meela at her doctor’s office. I knew exactly where it was, and when I stepped inside the building, my stomach was in knots for an entirely different reason.

  Walking down the hall to the OB/GYN’s office, I stood in front of the door, looking in through the window. The office was pretty much empty besides two couples and one woman sitting alone, but no Meela.

  Stepping back, I leaned against the opposite wall and pulled out my phone. I was in the process of calling Meela when a text popped up.

  Meela: Running a little late. Be there in two minutes.

  Me: I’m here. No rush.

  I watched the end of the hall, and when Meela rounded the corner, my heart kicked. Seeing her only confirmed that I would do anything to keep her here with me. She was so fucking gorgeous, and the urge to kiss her made me delirious.

  Her steps were rushed as she practically ran down the hall. Her smile was hesitant as she stopped in front of me, out of breath and looking completely fuckable.

  “I woke up late, I look horrible, there was traffic, and I couldn’t find a parking spot,” she explained.

  I closed the distance between us, watching her swallow hard when I stopped within inches of her. I took in her leggings, navy shirt—which was not my favorite color on her—jean jacket, and messy bun. I tucked a stray away hair behind her ear, and my fingers trailed down the side of her neck, not wanting to stop touching her.

  “You look …” There were so many things I could say to complete my sentence, but most of them would have her blushing into next week. “Beautiful.”

  “Thank you,” she said, her voice hoarse. “Have you been here long?”

  “Nope. A few minutes before you.”

  She nodded. “Are you ready?”

  “Yes.” My ability not to sound as scared shitless as I felt impressed me.

  I held my hand out toward her and watched the emotions shift from one to the next on her face. I held my breath, waiting and hoping she’d give me an inch. When she placed her hand in mine, I think we both let out a breath we’d each been holding for different reasons.

  Once inside, Meela signed us in, and after that, everything seemed to rush by. We didn’t have to wait long before they were calling Meela back.

  “Hi, I’m Nancy. I’ll be doing the ultrasound today, and the doctor is out today, so you’ll see her PA. Is that okay?”

  Meela nodded. “That’s fine.”

  “Good. How are you feeling, Mrs. Davis?”

  Meela voided all eye contact, and she laid back on some kind of chair contraption. “It’s actually Ms. Davis.”

  The technician blushed. “Oh, I’m so sorry.”

  “It’s fine,” Meela said, smiling at her.

  She looked at me; I’d been too busy eyeballing everything she was setting up next to Meela.

  “Let’s hope I don’t go two for two. Are you …?”

  She trailed off, and I pulled my attention from the machine to look at her and smile. “The baby’s father.”

  She smiled. “Is this the first time you’re seeing the baby?”

  “No.”

  “Yes.”

  Nancy looked back and forth between the two of us. “She’s seen her. I haven’t.”

  “Her?” Meela said.

  I shrugged and grinned at her. “I have a feeling.”

  “Well, let’s see if that feeling is right. Can you lift your shirt for me, hun?”

  “Uh, yeah.” Meela’s hands hesitated at the hem of her shirt. She dared a quick glance in my direction before pulling her shirt up and tucking it underneath her lacy black bra.

  I bit back a groan, knowing it probably wasn’t at all appropriate to be having lustful thoughts of the mother of my child right now. I didn’t want to stare, but I couldn’t help devouring the naked skin of Meela’s torso or being absolutely into the way her lower belly swelled with our child.

  My inappropriate thoughts were cut short when Nancy grabbed a bottle and positioned it over Meela’s stomach.

  “Whoa, what is that? Is that going to hurt her?”

  The technician smiled gently at me and shook her head. “Not at all. It’s just to see the sweet pea better.”

  With that being said, she squeezed, and a clear jelly pooled over Meela’s bump. I watched like a hawk until the screen lit up with black and white swirls.

  “There’s your baby.”

  “Holy shit,” I whispered. “That’s an actual baby.”

  Meela laughed. “What were you expecting?”

  “I don’t know, but that’s amazing.”

  Nancy maneuvered that wand all over Meela’s belly, pointing out each part of the baby. When it came time for us to find out the sex, the baby was hell-bent on keeping that part hidden.

  “I don’t think we’re going to find out if it’s a girl or boy today,” Nancy said, removing the wand. “This sweet pea just doesn’t want to uncross their legs.”

  I slapped my hands together. “That’s my girl.”

  My outburst caused Nancy to laugh.

  “Before you put that away, is it possible to let him hear the heartbeat? He hasn’t got to yet,” Meela asked, and I felt my own heart speed up as I waited for Nancy to respond.

  She smiled. “Of course.”

  Within seconds, a loud whooshing sound filled the room. Without thinking, I grabbed Meela’s hand and squeezed.

  “It’s so fast. Is that normal?”

  “Yep. It’s a perfectly healthy heartbeat. About a hundred and sixty-five beats.”

  I turned to look down at Meela and was surprised to see her staring at me with a strange look on her face. I wanted to bend over and kiss her right there, to hell with the consequences, but our audience held me back.

  The look in her eyes nearly brought me to my knees, and I couldn’t not touch her. I wrapped my hand around the back of her neck and leaned over, pressing my lips to her forehead. I felt her sigh, and her body leaned into m
ine.

  “That’s our baby, Meela,” I whispered against her skin.

  “This is for you,” Nancy said hesitantly.

  Pulling away from Meela, I took the picture in her hand and stared down at the profile of my baby.

  If nothing else, I knew that I loved this baby more than I thought it possible to love someone you’d never met.

  L U S T

  I felt high as we exited the building of the doctor’s office.

  “Thanks for letting me come,” I told her, standing there face to face.

  “I’m not going to stop you from being involved, Reed. I just said you didn’t have to be.”

  “I want to, Meela. I want to be involved with everything.”

  She looked hesitant but nodded. “Okay.”

  “Have you given anymore thought to my proposal?”

  “Which one? The marriage or the moving in?”

  “Both.”

  She crossed her arms and her attitude shifted. “I already said I wasn’t going to marry you, Reed. I’m not going to change my mind.”

  I nodded. “Okay. What about the other?”

  Her eyes fell and so did my stomach. “I don’t know, Reed. I don’t—”

  I took a step toward, my hand curving around her jaw, and I brushed my thumb over her bottom lip.

  “Before you finish that sentence, will you go with me somewhere first?”

  She didn’t say anything for what seemed like an eternity, and then she took a deep breath and nodded.

  “I’ll drive.”

  I knew I needed to tell Meela that I might have a son who my ex had pretended was my brother’s baby after she cheated on for my benefit. It sounded fucking nuts in my own head, so actually saying it out loud would probably send her running in the other direction.

  I would tell her.

  I just needed time to make a hundred percent sure that this fucking train wreck was worth freaking Meela out over. And since Nicole still hadn’t set of a DNA test, giving me more reason to think she was lying, I didn’t want to give Meela any more reason to doubt I could handle this, and suddenly learning that I could possibly be the father of another child whose mother displayed signs of a sociopath wasn’t the way to go.

  I would keep my past separate from my future until I had concrete proof.

  Twenty Two

  Meela

  That fucking grin.

  As we drove to god knows where, I couldn’t help but replay the past thirty minutes in my head—including that grin he unleashed on me after confessing his gender prediction. I hadn’t said anything, but for some reason, I also had a feeling it was a girl.

  “Are you nervous?” Reed asked, looking over at me from the driver’s seat.

  “Of where you’re taking me?” He nodded. “A little bit. Should I be?”

  “That might be up for debate.”

  “Yeah, that doesn’t make me feel better.”

  “How about you wait to decide until after we get there,” he suggested.

  I agreed, but I knew internally I would be freaking out the entire way.

  Luckily, the drive didn’t last long, but as we pulled into the suburban neighborhood, I had no idea what to think. The houses were gorgeous, a newer subdivision. The houses, mostly two stories, reminded me of farmhouses with cute front porches and brick siding.

  A knot formed in my stomach, wondering if maybe Reed’s family lived here now and that was where we were going. I sneaked a glance at Reed and tried to read his body language. He didn’t seem to be tense or angry the way he normally became when I brought up his family.

  I tried not to let my thoughts wander past my observation of his demeanor, but I couldn’t help myself. I studied his face and neck. I’d always known Reed was handsome with those piercing green eyes, square jaw, and permanent smolder. Before, I had found it obnoxious, and now ... well, now, it was different.

  “Meela.” He said my name, and I jumped, feeling like I had just been caught red-handed.

  “I feel like I should warn you.” His eyes found mine across the interior of the car. “I enjoyed you watching me way too much. Any lower, and you’ll see just how much.” He cleared his throat after dropping that bomb in my lap, and my eyes dropped to his lap.

  There was no mistaking the bulge in his pants, and my mouth went dry, and I licked my lips.

  “Fuck,” Reed growled. “You’re killing me, Meela.”

  I shifted, turning to stare out the window where it was hundred percent safe to look.

  “It’s your fault. You don’t tell someone not to look and expect them not to look.”

  “I don’t mind you looking, Meela. I enjoyed it as you saw. I just wanted to warn you.”

  “Are we almost there?” I asked, changing the subject.

  “We’re here,” he said, pulling over in front of the last house on the street.

  “Where is here?”

  He didn’t answer. Cutting the car, he pulled the keys and turned toward me, his arm resting on the steering wheel.

  “Are we getting out?” I asked, puzzled when he didn’t move to get out of the car.

  “Just wanted to make sure you were done looking first. Because I can pose? Maybe undress?” His hand moved to the hem of his shirt, and he lifted it, baring his stomach.

  My face flamed, and I nearly launched across the console, grabbing his arm to stop him. The backs of my fingers pressed into the firm muscles, and my first instinct wasn’t to pull away. I wanted to explore; I wanted to touch; I wanted to taste him.

  I braved looking up at him, and his green eyes turned dark with lust. I couldn’t look away.

  “Why do you like shocking me?”

  “Because it’s fucking fun.”

  “I need air.”

  I pulled the handle on my door and got out of the car. I walked on to the lawn of the house I had no idea who it belonged to and put my hands on my hips, breathing in deep. I heard the car door open and shut and Reed came up behind me.

  “Are you ready?” he asked, standing next to me.

  “I have no idea what I’m supposed to be ready for.”

  “Come on.” And then he was walking toward the house.

  Stepping onto the sidewalk, we followed the path to the front door. I frowned when I saw the padlock on the handle.

  “What’s that for?” I asked Reed when he knelt and began to turn the dials.

  When he stood, he had a key, and he was unlocking the door.

  “Are we breaking and entering right now?”

  “I have a key.” And then he was pushing the door open and standing aside so I could go in first.

  I stared at him, unsure at first, but curiosity got the best of me, and I walked into the house, Reed following me.

  Walking into what I assumed was the living room, I noted the entire house was completely empty. The floor plan was open, the living room flowing into the kitchen, dining room, and then a hall that I assumed led to the back room. I did a full circle before stopping in front of Reed, who seemed to be waiting for me to say or do something.

  “I don’t understand. What’s going on? Whose house is this?”

  “I bought it. For you, for us to live in, with the baby.”

  I was stunned. “You bought it? You bought a house?” I didn’t seem to have the ability to comprehend anything else to supply a better response.

  He moved toward me, so close I had to look up to search his eyes, but not close enough that we touched.

  “I don’t want you to leave, Meela. I want you to stay here, with the baby, with me. I know I haven’t given you a reason to trust me in the past, but I swear you can trust me now. I want to be there for you and the baby.”

  “Reed.” I was having a hard time thinking after his speech, and I couldn’t seem to put a simple thought together. “You bought a house,” I repeated.

  He smiled. “Nice to see I can render you speechless, Ms. Davis, but I’m going to need you to say more than that.”

  “You want us
to live here … together? As …?”

  “I heard you when you said you didn’t want to get married, Meela, and we don’t have to, but we could live together and take care of the baby without getting married.”

  “We can’t live together and ...” I stopped and dared a glance at him.

  “We can’t live together and what?”

  “I don’t need a knight in shining armor, Reed.”

  “Good, because I don’t have a fucking clue how to ride a horse,” he said with a grin.

  Damn him.

  I reloaded and tried again. “We’re always fighting, Reed.”

  He shrugged. “Foreplay.”

  “See, that’s exactly what I mean! We can’t live together, Reed.” I shook my head, walking past him to the front door.

  He caught my arm, stopping me and pulling me around. “I was kidding. I’m sorry.”

  “It would never work.”

  “It can. We can do it any way you want.” My eyes narrowed at him, and he threw back his head and laughed. “That’s not what I meant, but I like where your mind’s at.”

  “Then what did you mean?”

  “Tell me what I can do to make you see we can do this.”

  I ran my fingers through my hair. “I don’t know, Reed. I can’t think. This is all … so much.”

  “First.” He cupped my cheeks in his hands, his fingers pressing into my scalp, causing my skin to explode with goose bumps. “Breathe and second, I want to show you something.”

  He took my hands, pulling me through the house and down the hall where we stopped in front of a closed bedroom door.

  “Open it,” he said without looking at me.

  Twisting the doorknob, I pushed the door open. The hallway exploded with light from the windows inside the bedroom. I moved into the room, and in the center of the wall straight across from me was a dark expresso-colored crib. Moving toward it, I saw it decorated in the sweetest crib set, covered in shades of pink and purple. I gripped the edge of the railing and picked up the purple plush elephant inside. I pressed it to my chest and swallowed hard, holding back the tears that threatened to fall.

 

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