I straightened, and there was no more shock or disbelief running my system.
Rage, raw and unyielding, spiked a fire in my veins.
L U S T
I watched them leave the doctor’s office together.
I couldn’t help myself. I had to see it for myself, and now that I had, I didn’t know why I’d stuck around to torture myself, but here I was watching them. They didn’t touch; walking side by side, they were a good foot apart. Reed looking down at his phone in hand, and Nicole looking down at … sonogram pictures.
Pictures of their daughter.
Pictures like the ones of my and Reed’s daughter tucked away in my bag. I touched my stomach, my fingers curling into a fist, clutching my shirt.
My phone went off, and I jumped at the feel of the vibration in my bag. Pulling the phone free, I was filled with dread and disgust to see Reed’s name on my phone. He had a lot of fucking nerve texting me while standing next to her.
I’d only planned on watching; seeing the evidence with my own eyes so I had the truth on my side when I confronted Reed. Seeing him now, I couldn’t help myself, and I stepped out from behind the wall, standing in the center of the hallway, and waited.
Thirty Five
Reed
I waited for Meela to text back.
I wanted to call her, hear her voice, and put this shitty day into perspective. She was the calm before the storm and the healing after.
“Reed?” Nicole said, and I’d almost forgotten she was next to me. “Reed,” she repeated more firmly when I didn’t stop walking with her.
“What?” I heard the frustration in my voice as I dropped my hand with my phone, and turned to look at her, but she wasn’t looking at me. She’d stopped a few inches behind me, but she was staring past me with a deer in the headlights kind of look.
“What’s wrong?” I panicked when her hand curved around the bottom of her belly. “Is it the baby? Do we need to go to the hospital?” I asked, my head whipping toward the end of the hallway for a brief second and then back-
I froze.
My heart was beating so fast I couldn’t catch my breath. It wasn’t her. It couldn’t be her.
Then why are you fucking terrified to look again.
When I knew I couldn’t stand here a second longer without confirming, praying, that my mind was playing tricks on me, I turned.
Fuck. Fuck. Fuck, my mind screamed, but no matter how many times I said it, it wasn’t going to change this moment in time.
I walked toward her until I was only a few inches from her, but when I took the next step, she backed away from me. There was so much emotion in her eyes, all rolled into one.
“Meela,” I started out slowly, my hand going toward her slowly as if she was a wounded animal, and in so many ways, seeing me here with Nicole, she was. I took another step toward her but again, she backed away. This time taking two steps to my one.
“Stay away from me.” Her voice was ice cold and damn near deadly as it struck me in the center of my chest.
Her eyes shifted to my right, and I knew we weren’t alone anymore.
“What’s going on?” Nicole asked, slowly.
I ignored her. “It’s not what you think, Meela. I swear to god it’s not.”
Meela was looking at me like she didn’t know me.
“Wait, the two of you know each other?” Nicole asked. “What’s going on, Reed? Meela?”
I looked back at Nicole. The way she said her name, she was addressing her, but before I could question her, Meela’s voice cut through.
“No, we don’t know each other at all.” Meela shook her head, her eyes on fire. “I just had to see for myself. You lying, disgusting bastard,” she hissed, turning on her feet and fleeing for the exit.
“Fuck,” I roared toward the ceiling and darted after Meela. She was fast for a woman who was eight months pregnant, but I managed to catch up with her just outside the doors to the building. I jumped in front of her, blocking any further escape.
“Get out of my fucking way, Reed.”
“Not until you let me explain.”
“I don’t want to hear anything you have to say. Everything out of your mouth, since I’ve met you, has been a lie.”
“Dammit, Meela, that’s not true. Just listen to me.”
“Do you know that woman?” She stopped trying to bypass me and her arm shot out, pointing in the direction we’d just come from.
“Yes, but—”
“Have you slept with her?”
“No. I mean yes, but no. Fuck! Will you please let me explain?”
“Shit.” Meela’s hand flattened against her stomach, and she bent over, gasping.
“Meela,” I shouted. I had to shout to hear past the fear and panic that clawed, restricting my chest and ability to breathe. I moved toward her side, my arms going around her.
“No,” she growled, her hand still clutching her stomach and her other one shoving me away from her. “Stay away from me. Don’t touch me.”
“Fuck, okay, but tell me what’s wrong.”
She moaned and fell into the wall of the building, both of her hands clutching her stomach now. “I don’t know,” she ground out between her teeth. “I need to get to the hospital.”
“Let me drive you.” I moved to take her arm.
“No, I said don’t touch me, and so help me, Reed, if you don’t get the hell away from me—” Her threat cut off with another moan. “I need an ambulance. I need to get to the hospital now!”
I was pulling my phone out of my pocket before she could finish. I dialed 911, and I was immediately connected with an operator. I tried to keep my cool while playing fifty questions, the whole time watching Meela. Her back was now against the wall, and every few minutes, her face would contract in pain. After reading off the address, I hung up and moved toward Meela, careful not to touch her.
“They’re on the way, Meela.”
“It’s too early,” she moaned out. She was panting between the pain. “This shouldn’t be happening. It’s too early.”
Tears trailed down her face, and I desperately wanted to hold her.
“Meela, please let me do something.”
“Go away, Reed. Just go away.” There was no more fight in her words.
“I’m sorry, Meela. I’m so fucking sorry, but I’m not going anywhere.”
“What’s going on? Oh my god, Meela? Are you okay?” I’d completely forgotten about Nicole, but now here she was.
“Oh, god,” Meela moaned. “Get her away from me.” She groaned.
I took Nicole by the arm, pulling her off to the side.
“What’s going on, Reed? How do you know her?”
“How do you know her?”
She swallowed, her eyes shifting back to Meela. “We met at a doctor’s appointment.”
She was fucking lying. “Go home.”
I turned away, but she grabbed my arm, clutching herself to me. “Where are you going? Are you coming back?”
“Go home,” I repeated, pulling my arm from her.
Meela was still leaning against the wall, and I knelt in front of her at the same time I could hear the faint sound of the ambulance siren.
“They’re coming, Meela. Just a few more minutes.”
When the ambulance pulled up, it was a whirlwind of commotion as they tended to Meela, loading her into the back of the truck. After climbing in, one of the EMTs turned toward me and asked, “Are you coming?”
“Yes—”
“No,” Meela gasped. “I don’t want him to go.”
“Meela, what the hell?”
“I don’t want him going.” She refused to look at me.
The EMT looked at me apologetically. “Sorry, man.”
He reached out, grabbing the edge of the door and pulling it closed, but I grabbed it. I surprised everyone, including Meela who finally looked at me.
Pinning her with a fierce stare, I said, “You can stop me from going with you, but you can’t st
op me from being at that hospital, Meela. I’m your husband, and the baby’s father, so they’ll have to drag my ass out kicking and screaming.”
I let go of the door, taking a step back while I held Meela’s eyes until the doors closed.
L U S T
When I arrived at the hospital, Carrie was already there. She stood outside Meela’s door as if she was guarding it.
“Did she really think you were going to be able to keep me out of the room?”
“I’m not keeping you out, Reed,” she said softly, and the tone of her voice sent a chill through my body. “They’re in there with her right night now.”
“What’s going on?”
“They haven’t said much to me. She went into preterm labor, but they’re giving her something to stop the contractions.” Her eyes fell to the floor. “They were worried about the baby’s heart rate.”
“Fuck,” I hissed, turning away from Carrie. “How the hell did this happen?”
“She’s going to be okay.” She touched the back of my arm.
We stood there outside Meela’s room for what seemed like an eternity when the door finally opened, and Meela’s doctor came out.
“How is she?”
She really needed to work on her bedside manner; her face looked grim as fuck. “We’re waiting to see if the medicine we gave her will stop the contractions.”
“And the baby?”
“We’re monitoring her very closely. With every contraction Meela has, her heartbeat drops.”
“What does that mean?”
“It means we’re monitoring her very closely.”
“Can I see her?” She glanced at Carrie and then at me, but she didn’t look at me. “I’m. Her. Husband.” I bit off each word angrily.
She touched my arm, her face softening. “Let’s just let her rest a little bit. She’s under a lot of stress right now.”
I wanted to argue; I wanted to break down the damn door and sit with my wife, but I didn’t want to put any more stress on her or the baby.
“Fine,” I said, and she smiled. “But I’m going into that room.”
“Fair enough. I’ll be back in a little bit to check on her. I’ll keep you informed.”
She walked away, and I was left there standing on the other side of the door of my wife who didn’t want to see me, and after everything that had happened this afternoon, I couldn’t even blame her. I should have told Meela about Nicole weeks ago, but I was so afraid of fucking things up that, in the end, I fucked things up anyway.
Meela already had issues trusting me, and now I had just made sure she would never trust me again. It scared the shit out of me that I wasn’t sure I was ever going to make this right.
An hour passed of nurses going in and out of Meela’s room, none of them stopping long enough to tell me what the hell was going on.
I was sitting down, elbows on my knees and my chin resting on my hands when Carrie came to sit next to me.
“I have to go home to check on the baby and give Dillon some help. Will you be okay?”
I could only nod.
“Will you text me as soon as they let you see her?”
Again, I nodded.
“She’s going to be okay, Reed.”
“I’ll text you.”
She patted my shoulder, and then I was alone. By the time one of the nurses stopped in front of me to let me know I could see Meela, I had run every worst-case scenario through my mind, and I was just desperate to see her face. I stood in front of Meela’s door, took a deep breath, and pushed it open.
Lying in the hospital bed, she rested with her eyes closed. There were so many machines hooked up to her, but the bands across her stomach were the most terrifying. She looked so small and fragile. I was afraid just stepping closer into the room she would come undone.
“Meela,” I said softly, and a couple of seconds went by before her eyes opened.
“They said you refused to leave until I let you in.”
“I needed to see you, Meela.”
“Well, if that’s all you needed. You’ve seen me.”
I ignored that. “Did we …” I swallowed hard. I couldn’t get the words out. “How’s the baby?”
Tears welled, spilling down her cheeks, and she swiped at them quickly.
“God, Meela.” My hands balled into fists at my side, the pain nearly bringing me to my knees. I swallowed around the ache threatening to choke me.
She looked worn and helpless sitting in the bed. I wanted to sit next to her, hold her, comfort her, but she wouldn’t even look at me. She kept her head averted to the right, her body wilted and defeated.
“What happened?”
She took a deep, shaky breath. “It just wasn’t meant to be, Reed. You and I, having a baby together, none of it was meant to be.”
I moved toward the bed, and she flinched. If possible, she seemed to dissolve more. I moved toward the end of the bed, close, but not next to her. I just wanted her to look at me.
“That’s not true, Meela. I made a mistake of keeping Nicole from you, but it’s not what you think it is.”
Her head lifted. “She said her name was Marie.”
I sighed. “Marie is her middle name.”
“Well, at least she was thorough.”
“You need to know the truth.”
She scoffed. “The truth? From you?”
“Yes, the truth.”
“It’s over, Reed. This entire charade is over. Carrie and Dillon will help me get my things from the house, and all I ask is that you’re not there when I do.”
“You’re not going to let me explain?” I flexed my jaw, my question angry.
Her eyes shifted in my direction, and the anger and loathing embedded there was startling.
“Say what you have to say and when you’re done I want you gone. Make it count, Reed, because when you leave this hospital room, we’re done. Forever.”
Her words were like daggers, each one aimed and thrown with such precision it was a fucking wonder I was still standing here.
The floor was finally mine, and I had no fucking clue where to start.
“I don’t know what Nicole told you. I have no fucking idea how she even found out who you were to me, but whatever she said, I can assure you is a lie.”
“You’re not the father of her son?”
“Shit.” Hand on my hip, I ran my fingers through my hair. “I honestly don’t know, Meela. I didn’t find out that it was even a possibility until a few weeks ago.”
“You’ve known a few weeks that could possibly have a son, and you didn’t think you should tell me?”
“Of course, I thought you should know, but I was—”
“How did she even know about me? Did you tell her?”
“No, of course not. I have no idea how she found out.”
“When did you even start talking to her again? You said you hadn’t seen her in years.”
“I hadn’t. Until the night of the club.”
Her face was a mask of disbelief. “She was there at the club that night? Did you know?”
“Fuck no, I didn’t know, Meela. I didn’t want to see her then, now, or ever. But I did, and then she told me there was a possibility that Jason, her son, could be mine. But every time I wanted to meet up to get a paternity test done, she had a reason she couldn’t. If it was true, if I was the father, she would have wanted to get the test done.”
“She said …”
I waited. “She said what, Meela? What did she say?”
She fell back against the bed again, avoiding looking in my direction. “It doesn’t matter, Reed. None of it mattered.”
“That’s not true, Meela.”
“Do you remember what you said to me after our first case together?”
“Meela—”
“You said you taught me a very important lesson. Never trust anyone.”
“I know I fucked up, but we can—”
“No, Reed. There is no we. I told you, we’re don
e.”
“Meela—”
“Please just leave, Reed. Please.”
I didn’t want to leave. Hell, it was the last fucking thing on earth I wanted to do. But seeing her look so broken and knowing I did that to her, I didn’t want to hurt her anymore.
So I left.
L U S T
I pounded on the door harder.
She was out of her fucking mind if she thought I would go away this easy.
“If you don’t want your neighbors calling the cops, you’d better open the damn door, Nicole.”
I heard her footsteps on the other side of the door a second before she removed the chain and pulled the door open just enough for her head to peek through.
“If you think we’re having this conversation while I stand here, you’re insane.”
I pushed my way through and turned around, but looking at her only made me angrier. She’d closed the door, her back leaning into it.
“Are you out of your fucking mind, Nicole?”
Her eyes slit. “You belong with me, Reed.”
Her blunt statement turned my stomach, and I knew this conversation was only going to get worse.
“What the hell are you talking about?”
“You were mine first!” she spat.
“Are you fucking kidding me? You are out of your damn mind. I belong to you? First, I never belonged to you, and second, we haven’t been anything in years. Do I have to remind you that you’re married? To my brother.”
“Our marriage is a sham. He doesn’t love me, and I don’t love him.”
“The state of your marriage is your own damn fault. You married him. You made your choice, and I wasn’t it. I made my choice now, and you were never an option.”
“Do you think Meela wants you now? She thinks I’m carrying your baby. She thinks Jason is yours.”
Lust Page 28