by L. P. Maxa
“It’s been a long time since I’ve been around a female who knows this culture.” He smiled and she couldn’t help but do the same. “You’re really smart.”
She wrinkled her nose. “Well, it helps that I’m the only person in this giant house who was required to take Shifter History for two semesters.”
“Are you okay talking to the Feds tomorrow? I’ll be there with you the whole time.”
“You aren’t scheduled to be out of the house tomorrow. Are you breaking your own protocol?” She knew that he wouldn’t let her off the compound without him. It was his protective nature, and it was the fact that he was terrified to lose her again. She shared that sentiment. Since they’d been reunited, every time they were apart she felt his absence. It was like the hole in her soul kept reopening whenever they weren’t in the same room. She knew the pain wouldn’t kill her; she’d felt much worse.
“I’m alpha, right?” He smirked, making him look younger than he was. “I do what I want.”
She rolled onto her back, laughing. “Oh no.” She covered her face with her hands. “I should have never told you. I’ve created a monster.” She peeked between her fingers to find him still smiling. “You know, they say absolute power corrupts absolutely.”
He pulled her palms away, holding her hands gently between his. “I told you I was starting to have a problem with space.” He licked his lips and she hated that she wanted him to do it again. “I don’t want to be away from you, Pen.” He put her hand flat on his chest. “It hurts every fucking time, right here.”
“I know. Me too.”
“I hate what happened to you. I hate that you were kidnapped and hurt. I hate that you were scared and confused. I hate that your connection to me caused you one fucking ounce of pain.” He was hovering over her now, making her heart beat faster. “But I love that you’re here. I love that I get to sleep next to you. I love that I get to watch you brush your teeth and hear all your sassy comments after dinner.”
Tears were filling her eyes faster than she could blink them away.
“Please forgive me for not finding you. Please forgive me for letting you go. I’m so fucking sorry, baby.” He rested his head on her chest, whispering against her skin how sorry he was, over and over.
“Hey, hey, quit that. There is nothing to forgive.” She lifted his face, making him look her in the eye. “What happened back then wasn’t your fault, and neither is what’s happening now. Life is messy and people get hurt.” She smiled. “But you know what? I think this all shows that nothing can keep us apart. Not time, not distance, not circumstance.”
She kissed the corner of his mouth gently. “I never stopped loving that boy I used to dance with under the stars. All I’m asking is that you let me get to know the man he grew up to be.”
He buried his head in her chest, tracing his fingertips on her back while he held her tight and then he threaded his fingers through her hair.
“I love you. I never stopped loving you,” she whispered in his ear. “I’m proud of you. Of what you made of your life. The pack you’re a part of.”
She clung to him while they both cried. While they both mourned the past and let go of the kids they used to be.
And that’s how they fell asleep, wrapped up in each other.
Chapter Nineteen
Baze
Penelope thought that he wasn’t vulnerable with his pack because he was the natural alpha. But in reality, he wasn’t vulnerable with anyone in his life, ever. Except for her. When they were young, it was easy to overlook. When they were together, it was only the two of them. They hid their relationship from almost the beginning. He had friends and he played baseball, he went to parties and he joked around some. But the only time he truly let go was when he was with Pen. It was the only time he felt safe, felt understood.
She was in the oversize tiled shower and he was on their soft king-size bed. When it was time to leave Jace’s house, Baze was going to be too spoiled for his apartment. Lying on his side, laptop open, he was catching up with his emails. Because in all the Franklin chaos, Baze almost forgot they still had a team to get ready for the spring. It was Monday morning and in about an hour, they would head to campus. Together. In Jace’s fancy SUV with the bulletproof glass. Apparently that was standard when you were the son of a hardened criminal.
There were so many things about Jace that Baze hadn’t taken the time to notice in the past two years. Sure, he knew the big stuff, that he was Jasper’s twin, that they’d been raised in separate homes. That he’d struggled to fit in, that he had a few triggers that caused some creepy-ass behavior. But there was so much more to him than that.
Jace was calculated because he had to be. Everything about his personality was about survival in a cruel world of illegal activity and abuse. This house, his car, his computer skills. He didn’t flaunt it, any of it. He kept it hidden, close to his chest, like a weapon.
The fact that he was letting them all in, letting them see the world he’d built for himself out of fear—that was really something. It might appear to the others like he was growing distant, but in reality, he was finally letting them get close.
When there was a knock on their bedroom door, Baze got up to see who it was. Jace was on the other side, looking like he usually did, older than his seventeen years. “Hey, Madden wants to talk to us.” He jerked his head behind him, adjusting the sleeves on his button-down. Yeah, no jeans and t-shirt for that kid.
Baze opened the door wider, letting both Jace and Madden step inside. When Linc tried to join them, Baze threw his hand out, stopping him. “Pen’s in the shower.”
Linc’s eyebrows rose. “Okayyy…Well, then how come you let Jace in?” He pointed to the unbonded male shifter Baze had let into the room without hesitation.
“I, uh, I forgot.” He shoved everyone back out into the hallway and shut the door behind him. He was really going to have to find out more about this alpha/beta relationship. Leaning against his closed bedroom door, he asked, “What’s up?”
“I want you guys to meet Matias and me for lunch today. It’s important.” Madden held her hand up, covering Linc’s mouth. “Linc doesn’t like him, but that’s only his mate jealous bullshit. I really think it’ll be beneficial to talk to him.”
“Why?” Baze crossed his arms over his chest, intrigued and almost loving how pissed Linc appeared.
“Please. Trust me, okay?” Her hand was still over her mate’s mouth.
Linc gently removed it and sent her a humorless smile. “If she’s leaving the house to have lunch with man-bun, then I’m coming too.”
Jace held up his index finger. “There is only supposed to be one couple on campus at a time. And our first day of this new rule we’re going to have two and a half?” He rubbed his temples. “Fan-fucking-tastic.” He looked at Baze, silently asking him what they should say.
Had Jace researched packs like Baze had? Did he agree with Pen? Baze could tell that Jace wasn’t thrilled about the proposed meeting. But he could also tell that he wasn’t one hundred percent against it. It was more like the kid was annoyed more than anything else. Baze didn’t know how he knew all that; maybe alphas and betas could read each other’s minds.
“Fine. One lunch, that’s it. But you and Linc stay in this house until it’s time, and then you’ll take one of Jace’s vehicles, not your own.” Baze wouldn’t underestimate Franklin, not again.
“How many armored vehicles do you fucking have?” Linc made a what-the-hell face in Jace’s direction.
“Enough for all you yahoos.” He sighed and walked down the stairs, muttering to himself the whole way.
***
Penelope finagled Baze into working from the library all morning so she could get some books to read while she was “being held prisoner again” at the house. Not that he minded; he actually got much more work done in there than he did his office. Not one of his players came in to interrupt, probably due to the fact that they didn’t know where the library was. May
be they should take a team field trip here one day; it’d no doubt improve at least Jasper’s grades.
Now they were sitting at the only diner in town, waiting to meet man-bun and hear what Madden had to say. Jace was cranky about it. He didn’t like people coming and going from the compound, and Baze had to agree. It was more opportunity for someone to spot them and try to follow.
But he wasn’t a dictator, no matter what Penelope told him about pack dynamics. If Madden wanted to be heard, he’d give her the chance.
“What the actual fuck?” Jace hung his head when Linc and Madden walked into the diner, followed by Corey and Riley. “What’s the point of rules? What’s the point of safety protocols?” He threw his hands in the air and went to ask the waitress for a larger table.
“Really?” Baze glared at Linc, his eyes darting to Corey and back again.
“Right. Because telling Corey what to do is so fucking easy these days.” He rolled his eyes. “She wouldn’t even listen to Madden.” He pointed to Riley. “But look, we brought backup.”
“What the hell are you doing off campus, Riley? We specifically told you—”
“Coach, with all due respect, I’m only trying to help. It was either I meet you here, or Dom comes off campus and loses his shit when he sees Corey. You think a bonded shifter-size fit in the middle of town won’t draw attention?” He pulled out Corey’s chair for her, sending Baze an apologetic shrug.
“Yeah. Because a diner the size of a closet filled to the brim with the same pack is soooooo inconspicuous,” Pen whispered next to his ear before sitting down and taking a sip of water that was already on the table.
Before he could comment back, the bell above the door rang and in walked man-bun. AKA Matias. He was wearing a St. Leasing ball cap pulled low over his head. Was he trying to not be recognized? Probably smart on his part. They were no doubt being watched by Franklin.
“Look, I know that none of you know him. But I really think Matias can help us out here.” Madden stood up, signaling to her friend.
“How?” Linc rolled his eyes and sent Matias a tight smile when he sat down across from him.
“Hola.”
Madden shrugged and gestured to the tall tanned shifter now crowding the table. “Well, Matias and his pack have a certain skill set.”
Riley winced. “Are we trading the American Shifter mob for the Spanish one?” He was the most sensitive male in the pack, there was no doubt about it. He didn’t like violence, he didn’t like working with criminals, and he didn’t like conflict.
“I thought you said they all worked at a bar?” Linc turned to look at his mate, a sarcastic look on his face, like he’d caught her lying.
She cocked her head to the side, seemingly done with Linc’s shit attitude. “I said they own a bar. And they do. As a front to help fund their other, um, jobs.”
Matias held his hands wide, his smile even wider. “We are good guys, like your, uh, Robin Hood?”
Baze raised an eyebrow. “You rob from the rich and give to the poor?”
“They kind of fight social injustice, stand up for the little guy. More like the Avengers.” Madden beamed, like she was trying to talk Matias up and sell him to the highest bidder.
Matias chuckled, his grin only growing. “Yes, Maddi, yes, I am like Thor.”
“I’ll say.”
“Corey.” Riley quickly jerked his eyes to her while Pen giggled quietly beside him.
“Sorry.” Corey shrugged.” It’s the pregnancy hormones. The baby likes his accent.”
Riley shook his head slowly. “Like hell she does.”
“Trust me, okay? He can help. All I ask is that you guys hear him out. Matias and his pack, they’re good people.” Madden glanced around the table, stopping to lock eyes with Baze. He could see that she was adamant. And the fact that she was willing to put herself out there and piss off Linc spoke volumes.
Baze nodded. “If we’re going to talk, we can’t do it here.”
“I’ll get you the address, and we’ll meet up with you tonight.” Jace glared, making sure every person at the table got a dose. “Now everyone order some damn food so we can all get back to where we are supposed to be.”
Chapter Twenty
Penelope
She had an arm full of books, and she was pretty damn happy. She’d spent an entire day with Baze Carter for the first time in almost ten years. She’d read and he’d answered emails and left here and there to go do coach things. But he was never gone long, and he made her promise not to leave the library.
Now they were walking hand in hand through campus, toward where she had been dumped a few days before. That part of her life seemed almost small now. She’d been hit, kicked, and thrown from a presumably moving vehicle. But she was only a tiny part of a much larger picture. Baze and his pack had been dealing with Franklin one way or another for almost a year. Kids had been hurt, people had been killed. It really was like a made-for-TV crime drama.
“Are you okay?” Baze squeezed her palm as they came to a small house. It was neat and tidy with a green lawn and a crisp coat of paint.
She nodded, looking from side to side, studying the road. “Was this where he left me?” She couldn’t recall much about that day, after she was loaded into the SUV that was. A solid hit to the head will do that, apparently.
“Yes.” She could hear the barely controlled anger in Baze’s voice. She knew without even seeing it that his jaw would be clenched tight. He hated what had happened to her, and he blamed himself.
“Is this where we are meeting the detectives?” She wanted to change the subject, to get his mind focused on the present. Not the past. The past was something they were both going to have to let go of if they were ever going to have a future.
He walked up the front steps leading to the porch, and then pulled out a set of keys and unlocked the door. “Yeah, this is Madden and Linc’s house.” He pointed farther down the street. “Keller and Molly, and then Dom and Corey. They all live here on Faculty Row. Although before things got crazy Dom and Corey were house hunting.”
“You live alone?” The thought made her sad, made her almost want to cry. Had he spent the last ten years by himself? She wasn’t stupid or naïve; she knew there were probably lots of women keeping him warm at night. But that wasn’t love, that wasn’t companionship.
“I wish.” Baze snorted out a laugh. “Until recently, I lived with Linc. We’ve been roommates for a couple years now. Before that it was the athletic dorms and then teammates. I’ve really only lived alone for a few weeks at a time.” He walked into the kitchen and she followed. “How about you?”
“I live alone. Well, as alone as you can when your house is really more of a fancy tent.” When she was volunteering, she lived like everyone else. In the middle of some remote village with no running water or grocery stores. “On my off weeks I typically head into the closest city and spend some time at a hotel.” She’d shower and watch TV and eat terribly fattening food. And sleep. Man, would she sleep. “When I’m with the group, helping in the villages, I’m never alone. There is always someone who needs something.”
“Do you like your life, Pen?”
His question caught her off guard. She glanced around the room, wondering where all the people they were supposed to be meeting up with were. Did she like her life? That was a tough question. “I like helping people. I like making people better. I like the friends I’ve made. I like that I didn’t follow the path my parents set out for me, that I paved my own way.”
“But?”
“But. There are things I want for myself that have always felt out of reach.” He stepped toward her, crowding her space, just a little. She inhaled deeply, enjoying his scent. She wanted to close her eyes and lean her head against his chest. She wanted him to wrap his strong arms around her.
He moved his palm to her cheek, speaking softly. “Tell me, bumblebee.”
She was hesitant to tell him more. She was afraid that he would take it as an openin
g to barge into her life and make her his. She loved him back then, and she was falling in love with him now. But was she ready to truly be his? Was she ready for what forever meant for the two of them? What if things with Franklin went badly? What if something happened to him, or to her? What if she got hurt, or was taken again? She didn’t think she could stand to be the reason he was in agony, emotional or otherwise; she’d barely survived it the first go-round.
So she didn’t tell him. Instead she rose up on her tiptoes and gave him all that she could at the moment. She pressed her lips to his, smiling when his arms immediately snaked around her waist, lifting her off the ground. She opened her mouth to him, letting him invade all her senses. His kiss turned hungry, and her heart started to beat wildly in her chest. He stepped forward, her back going against the nearest wall.
“Fuck, baby, I—”
“Hey, Linc have any food in there?” Dom walked into the house and into the kitchen. “I’m starving. Did you guys bring leftovers from the diner?”
Baze set her on her feet and Pen quickly took a step back, clearing the emotion from her throat. “We got here a few minutes ago. Baze hasn’t raided the fridge yet.”
Dom stopped short, his eyes a little wide. “I don’t know if I’ve ever heard you talk before.” Then he wrinkled his forehead. “Did I interrupt something?”
She chose to respond to the part that wasn’t referencing her and Baze’s second first kiss. “I talk.” Pen pursed her lips, wracking her brain to remember if she’d ever had an actual conversation with Dom.
“Hey, I’m not complaining.” Dom moved past them and opened the fridge, frowning when they all saw it was empty except for one lone jar of peanut butter. “I’m surrounded by people who talk too damn much if you ask me.”
The back door opened and Jace walked in, carrying a Styrofoam container. “Here.” He shoved it toward Dom. “You need to have a talk with Corey. She needs to stay at the house, not try to hitch a ride every time the gates open.”