Elemental Hunger

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Elemental Hunger Page 21

by Elana Johnson


  I tore my gaze from his and looked at the paper. My name lay above the others, typed in larger print. I felt the weight of who I was. Of what I was.

  The Councilman. Four other people had already signed their names pledging their Elements, their support, their lives, to me.

  Davison pushed his chair away from the conference table. “If you do not wish to sign, no problem. My city needs my attention in many ways.”

  “Hot blazes,” I swore. I picked up the pen and scratched out my first name in the blank. “Where do I list my—?” I looked up, determined not to say “husband.”

  “You have ten years to wed,” Susanna replied. She pointed to the middle of a long paragraph. “And you put his name right here.”

  I drew a deep breath, held it, and then released it as I wrote A-D-A-M.

  “Time for dinner,” the Unmanifested man said, wrenching the pen from my fingers. The signed contract disappeared, swept up by Councilman Davison as he passed. The room emptied in a matter of seconds and swishing purple robes, with only Susanna lingering in the doorway.

  I stayed in the same position, frozen and shocked.

  Reason: I’d chosen Adam without time to think. My fingers just sort of did it. But Hanai—

  “It will be okay, Firemaker.” Susanna sounded like she wanted to smooth the rift between my Council and hers. “Davison has told me much about you. We believe you will be able to enact the changes we need. Don’t give up yet.”

  I nodded before the door clicked closed. I wondered how long I had before anyone would notice I was gone. Could I go downstairs, and never come back up? I could find my way back to the orchard and the warehouse. Felix would be delighted to see me, I was sure.

  If I ran, no one on my Council would have to go to Tarpulin. I could carry out Davison’s mission by myself.

  “Gabby.”

  I buried the thoughts of abandoning my friends, lit my fingertips, and turned from the conference table. Hanai’s dark eyes reflected the firelight back to me. His cheeks looked sunken in, his shoulders tense.

  “What’s wrong?” Apprehension filled my tired mind. With only minutes until dinner and then the chartering after that, I hoped Hanai wasn’t here to tell me that we couldn’t complete the ceremony.

  He glanced over his shoulder. “I think Adam’s still a sentry.” The words barely carried between us. Inside, my fire leaped. I stood there, trying to breathe and think at the same time. Hanai put one hand on my shoulder. His touch smoldered. I pushed back the memory of his mouth on mine.

  “Still a sentry?” I repeated.

  “I can feel his soul.” Desperation filled Hanai’s words. He retreated around the table, putting a respectable distance between us. “Councilman Kilpatrick, as your Unmanifested Councilmember, I’m advising you that Adam is not who he says he is.”

  I stiffened at his formal Council speech. Something told me this concerned more than how his soul felt about mine.

  A thick ball of embers lodged in my stomach. Questions built in my mind about who Adam was, and what he’d been doing when he wasn’t with us.

  Fact: I’d chosen wrong. I didn’t want the hot, striking guy who said what I wanted to hear. I wanted the one who provided the safety I needed in what was and would always be a tumultuous life.

  Questions: Could I fix that? Could I change Adam’s name to Hanai’s?

  “Who is he?” I asked, managing to subdue the rising fire.

  He drew in a deep breath. “I think he’s still a sentry. I felt a wave of deception so strong it lured me out of my bedroom. I followed the sensation until I was standing outside his door. He was talking to someone—someone not in the room.”

  I covered my mouth in astonishment, and so I wouldn’t puke. “Adam had a phone?”

  Hanai blinked, swallowed, and nodded.

  “Holy infernos.” I paced, trying to sort through what that meant. “Did you hear what he said?”

  “I couldn’t. He was talking really softly.”

  What I concluded: Adam was still a sentry. He’d met up with his buddies while I’d been here, worrying about him and pledging to Davison that I’d march to Tarpulin and lure the woman who wanted me dead out into the open. He could’ve gone willingly to the warehouse, made plans, and then had the other sentries beat him so it would look like he wasn’t with them.

  “His soul felt black. Emotionless.”

  Emotionless. Like a sentry. Like how I needed to feel.

  I looked down into Hanai’s desperate eyes. “Tell me what to do.”

  He pulled me into a hug that nearly broke my back, but didn’t say anything.

  “Let’s stop the ceremony,” I whispered. “Cat and Isaiah will understand.”

  Hanai held me at arm’s length. “We can’t. You need the protection of the charter. We all do.” He took a deep breath and looked over his shoulder again.

  “Adam could’ve killed us at any time on the way here. On the train, in the tunnels.”

  Hanai exhaled loudly. “You’re right, but I think he needs the chartering protection too. Probably more than we know.”

  The fire inside clutched my heart with icy fingers. “He has said that more than once.” I realized how desperate my voice sounded, but at this point, I’d grasp anything I could.

  “I guess we’ll find out.” Hanai’s meaningful gaze rested on me. Combined with everything else, I couldn’t shoulder the weight of it.

  “Hanai, I picked him,” I blurted out. Tears formed in my eyes. “I’m sorry. Davison put me on the spot and—” I stopped, realizing that whatever I said would be classified as an excuse.

  “I’m sorry,” I repeated. “How am I supposed to deal with him? He’ll know we’re… he’ll know who I picked—and trust me, he’ll want to be alone.”

  A shadow crept across Hanai’s face. As quickly as it came, it disappeared. Now he only looked as exhausted as I felt. “You’ll have to pretend. Lie.”

  “I’m not good at that.”

  “You’ll have to be.” Hanai cupped my face in his palm. “I knew you wouldn’t choose me.”

  He wasn’t saying it was okay or even that he understood. Surely he didn’t. Blazes, I didn’t understand it. I thought he was trying to say that he simply wanted me to know I had two choices.

  I honestly had no idea if I’d made the wrong choice.

  Hanai linked his arm through mine and tugged me toward the door. “Let’s go to dinner.”

  We entered the dining hall, where the small tables had been replaced by one large table with fifteen chairs. Davison and his Council were already seated, steaming plates of food lining the center of the table. Councilman Ferguson and a handful of additional Councilmen were also there, along with the rest of my Council. Two empty chairs sat between Adam and Isaiah. Hanai nudged me forward and pulled out my chair for me. Adam saw every move, so I settled next to him quickly while Hanai slid beside me.

  Candles flickered from their sconces on the walls, and servants loitered near the doorway to the kitchens. This meal felt much more formal than lunch, even though it was in the same room.

  Shadows darkened Adam’s eyes. He glared at Hanai, who ignored him and engaged Isaiah in a conversation. I met Adam’s gaze, very aware of the wall of awkwardness between us. I glanced away first.

  Cat passed me the roast chicken and potatoes. I piled them on my plate. I kept my mouth full, my eyes down, and my ears open.

  The meal passed quickly, and before I knew it, Councilman Davison stood up. “The Council ceremony will begin in one hour. Navy robes and silver pins have been distributed. If you have something special to wear, you may choose that instead.”

  “Our Firemaker has something incredibly special to wear to the ceremony,” Adam said.

  I locked eyes with him. No blazing way I’m wearing that half-dress thing. I shook my head, but he simply grinned. “And I’ve got some new stuff for the rest of us too. Come on guys, let’s go back to my room.”

  Chairs scraped the floor and tore at my
nerves. “Gabbers, you gonna wear that dress? Man, I wish I could see.”

  “Shut up, Isaiah,” I growled. “You’re lucky you’re blind. Because I’m going to kill Adam with my bare hands, and that won’t be pretty.”

  Isaiah laughed as I followed him downstairs. “Lighten up. He just likes you. I’ve heard all about the dress, and how you’re gonna look in it. That boy can talk and talk.”

  “This has got to be some kind of sick joke,” I said. Adam disappeared into his room with Hanai right behind. Isaiah lumbered inside, a firm grip on Cat’s hand.

  “Cat?” Enough I’m-freaking-out vibes carried in that single word to cause her to turn.

  She took one look at my face before whispering to Isaiah and pulling Adam’s door closed. Smiling, she linked her arm through mine. I let her lead me down the hall to our room.

  Cat’s gentle presence filled the void in my life, just as it always had. She bustled around the room, lighting lamps and opening bottles of water.

  I sat on the end of her bed, twisting my hands.

  “Who’d you choose?” she asked, settling next to me and offering me a water bottle.

  I took a long drink, hoping to coax the name into speech. “Adam.” Despite the water, the name seared my throat.

  “Oh.”

  That was all she said. I couldn’t tell if the news upset her or if she thought I’d chosen wrong.

  “You have a long time to wed,” she added.

  I could only nod my understanding.

  She knelt in front of me, forcing me to look at her. “Don’t worry, Gabby. Councils get mixed up all the time. Diplomacy training is fluid; we switch Elementals to find the best fit for our combined powers.” She gripped my hands. “Adam could be reassigned. Hardly anyone marries the initial person they chose when they chartered. It will be okay.”

  Her words brought hope. “I’m going to change the law.”

  She smiled. “Of course you are.”

  “I haven’t told Adam.” The weight of having to tell him—out loud—crushed the air right out of my lungs.

  “I talked to him before dinner,” Cat said.

  I wiped a hand over my still-shorn hair. “Oh yeah?”

  “Yeah. I don’t think we’ll ever be best friends, but things should be okay between us now.”

  “What did you and Adam talk about?”

  “Just about what happened in Hesterton.”

  “Is that another city?” I’d never heard of Hesterton, as I hadn’t been privileged to take geography before becoming a fugitive.

  She nodded. “Adam and Felix followed our Council there. Alex had ordered our execution—and anyone who stood in the way.”

  “But you and Isaiah, you’re still alive.” I had a million questions, but maybe Cat would simply tell the story.

  “Yes, we’re still alive.”

  Or maybe not. “Okay, fine. I have to tell you something. Something about Adam. Then you’ll tell me everything between you guys, okay?” I didn’t wait for her consent. I checked the bedroom door to make sure it was locked.

  I told Cat everything.

  Part 1: What Hanai had said about Adam talking on a phone.

  Part 2: How Hanai and I had something going on. Something I couldn’t really name, but existed nonetheless.

  Cat listened, her eyes widening in all the right places, her mouth dropping open during the most dramatic parts. Then her eyes took on a knowing glow and she hugged me. “I knew you liked Hanai.”

  I waved away the relationship stuff. “What do you know about Adam? I have to know everything, so I can make the best decision.”

  She studied me, her beautiful eyes contemplative. “You won’t like it.”

  “Like I liked it when you and Isaiah left me alone in Crylon? Or the way I liked it when Jarvis picked my best friend for his Council instead of me?” I crossed my arms. “Trust me, there’s very little I like about my life.”

  Cat smiled in her sad way, true empathy etched in the lines around her mouth. “I’m sorry, Gabby. I know things haven’t been easy for you.” She drew in a deep breath. “I watched Adam kill my Councilman by holding his hand over his chest. He smothered him without touching him. No fingerprints. No blood.”

  I pressed my eyes closed, trying to erase the image of the dying chicken. He’d killed it the same way. Back then, I’d been terrified, but amazed. Now, my stomach lurched.

  Cat touched my arm, and I opened my eyes. “Even as he did it, I knew he didn’t want to. But he wiped away that emotion and did his job. That’s what he said this afternoon. That it was his job, and he didn’t have a choice.”

  I laughed, but it sounded like a bark. “Yeah, but he certainly has a choice now, doesn’t he?”

  Cat shook her head, a slight fire entering her eyes. “He was right. You don’t understand. You’ve never been on a Council. You’ve never feared for your life. You’ve never pledged—”

  “Never feared for my life? What do you think this is? Everyone thinks I’m some sort of freak who can’t do anything. Or worse, they think I’m going to be exactly like Alex. If she doesn’t kill me first.” My breath came too fast. My chest couldn’t expand enough.

  Cat sighed. “That’s not what I meant. It’s just that, well, as much as I blame Adam for Reggie’s death, it’s not entirely his fault, you know? Now, Felix, he’s heartless.”

  My Element flared at the mention of Felix.

  “He tried to rape me.” Cat delivered the final blow with short, even syllables.

  I bent over, clutching my stomach. My fire raged inside, but I managed to choke out, “Where was Adam?”

  “You should ask him.” She refused to say any more. “I need to talk to Isaiah before the ceremony. I’ll be right back to help you get ready.”

  After she left, I tried to organize the words I needed to tell Adam that I had chosen him for my Council husband.

  Result: [ ]

  While I stood in my bedroom, a knock sounded on the door. Adam entered and held up the blue half-dress. “I had it cleaned.”

  I glared at a spot over his shoulder. “You wasted your time.”

  “Come on. Wear this tonight.” His eyes shone with a mixture of emotions I couldn’t sort through.

  My heart thumped when he closed the door. “Leave it on the bed,” I said, turning back to the window. “It’s not going to fit.”

  “Oh, it’s gonna fit,” he said with a laugh. He pulled me into a hug. “Are you ready for tonight?”

  My skin crawled with his touch—in a good way. He also repulsed me. My Element reacted to my screwed up emotions, and Adam jerked his hands away.

  “Sorry.” But I felt better when he wasn’t touching me. My skin cooled.

  He tilted his head and studied me. “Everything okay?”

  A deep breath settled my nerves further. “Yes. No. I’m just—worried about tonight.”

  His mouth creased, like he didn’t believe me.

  “Are you ready?” I asked before he could say anything else.

  “I’ve waited for a Council for a long time.”

  Well, at least we’ve stopped lying to each other, I thought as I watched the late winter sun spit weak light on the city. The shadows lengthened as Adam moved behind me.

  I was so conflicted. I liked the way Adam made me feel about myself. But he was still an active sentry. Probably recording everything, waiting for a chance to kill me. Besides, I couldn’t erase the feelings I had for Hanai, and I didn’t want to.

  The air in my lungs evaporated. My heart squeezed, squeezed into my throat. I needed to ask Adam about Cat, about Hesterton—

  He pulled away. “Tornadoes. You’ve got some raging energy flowing into the air. What’s up?”

  I called on my fire and turned around. Both of my fists burst into flames. Adam stepped back, the briefest flash of fear stealing through his eyes. “Honesty policy. What happened in Hesterton?”

  Adam’s mouth hardened. “What did Cat tell you?”

  “What d
id you tell her?”

  He looked at his hand. “I told her the truth.”

  “Tell me, then.”

  He sat down, his gaze focused on the floor. “When the Supremist gives orders, you follow them. Or you die.”

  His voice lost all emotion as he related his orders to find the rogue Elementals and kill them. When he and Felix found the Council, Reggie—the Councilman—offered himself for the safety of the rest of his Council.

  “Alex expected one less Elemental in the world. She got what she wanted.” He met my eye. “I swear I didn’t want to kill him.”

  But you still did, I thought. So many other things battled inside. Hanai’s secret. Adam’s tattoo.

  “And everyone else on his Council is still alive,” Adam added.

  “Where were you yesterday?” I asked. Maybe I could get him to slip and say something contradictory.

  “I honestly don’t know.” He touched his ribcage. “I still have the wounds, so I’m guessing not somewhere nice.”

  “What were you doing?”

  He glanced at me, his expression hooded. “I don’t remember anything after falling twenty stories down an elevator shaft.”

  “Where’s your brother?”

  Adam’s eyes narrowed. “I don’t know. Not far away, I’m guessing.”

  “What did he do to Cat?”

  “I am not my brother.”

  “But you were there!”

  Adam stood, his eyes unyielding. His anger soared across the space between us, causing my fire to burn hotter.

  “I did my job.”

  “Blazes,” I swore. “Did he rape her or not?”

  “No.”

  “You know for sure?”

  “Yes. Like you said, I was there.”

  My fury lessened. I guess if Cat could forgive him, I couldn’t hold Reggie’s death against him. Now all I had was Hanai’s story about Adam’s phone conversation and the flicker of a black line I’d seen on his back.

  Which meant I had nothing. Or did I?

  “Are you done interrogating me?” Adam glared, his words biting into my conflicted emotions.

 

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