An involuntary gasp of pain escaped her before she dredged up a frozen poise. The look of fierce pride stealing over her face prompted Mrs Drummond to step in.
'That's quite enough, Royce. I have the coffee on a tray. Will you bring it in?'
Contempt flared in his eyes. 'Coffee? I think not.' Without another word, he turned on his heel and walked out of the door, slamming it hard behind him.
Something inside Jenna splintered. Her chin wobbled. She was close to crying, but she didn't want Mrs Drummond to see it. Forcing her head up, she squared her jaw and blinked furiously at the moisture in her eyes.
'I'm sorry, my dear,' Mrs Drummond said gently. 'That's not quite what I expected from him.'
'If you'd let him hit me, it might have been better.'
'Nonsense. That would only add guilt to all the other emotions he's feeling right now.' She patted Jenna's shoulder and led her to a chair where she bent down and retrieved the birth certificate Royce had dropped. 'There was no way to break it to him gently. Once he comes to his senses he'll be all right.'
'It wasn't fair to hurt him like that.'
'You can still think of him after the way he insulted you?' Mrs Drummond marvelled. 'He doesn't know how lucky he is to have you love him.'
'Oh, please!'
'Your sister is a very selfish person, isn't she? Could you see my son married to a woman like her?'
Jenna shuddered and then remembered his taunt: 'What did he ever see in you?' and her face flamed. 'I'm just as selfish, trying to keep Robbie for my own. If Meg hadn't run off with Carlo Borchini, she might have been able to get him to listen to her.'
Mrs Drummond watched her grimly. 'Your biggest trouble is a massive inferiority complex. You'll have to get over it, because we're in this together now.'
With a frown, Jenna looked at her standing so tall and still, holding out the paper to her. As she took it, one name leapt out at her as if it was written in blood. Jennifer Caldwell.
'But I don't understand!' she gasped.
'I didn't alter it, if that's what you're thinking. Your sister must have done it. What better way for her to shift her responsibility?' she said, her lips twisting. 'When I left you this afternoon I had to check on your story. It's a bit much to swallow. When I saw it, I thought you'd lied to me, but then I realised your sister must have been making sure she wouldn't be tied down with a baby she didn't want. I'll bet it killed her when she realised her selfishness had backfired.'
Jenna sat bolt upright, her eyes rounding. 'But this means—' She bit her lip and tried to check the sudden leaping of her heart. 'It would only be Meg's word against mine. Since my name is here—by law, I'm his mother! He's mine!'
'Actually, he's ours.' Mrs Drummond's voice was gentle but curiously cold. 'If you agree to marry Royce and give Robbie his rightful place in our family, I won't say a word. But if you don't, I'll tell Royce exactly what happened and have this document corrected.' She waited a moment to let the threat stand between them. 'He asked you to marry him to provide a stable environment for the rest of my family. Nothing's changed. Robbie's parentage has no bearing on that. If you won't agree, I'll have to fight you. And where will that leave you?'
Jenna studied her determined face before a bitter tightness began to rise in her throat. 'I underestimated you. Don't you care that Royce is hurt?'
'At the moment I'm more concerned for my grandson. Royce can take care of himself.'
She was ruthless. And Jenna knew Royce had inherited some of it from her. 'How do you think he'll feel, knowing he's raising his brother's son?' she asked.
'Isn't that what you're doing? If you can, so can he.'
If there was ever the possibility of having a normal marriage, it was gone now. She cringed when she remembered the way he had looked at her. But was it better to have a sterile marriage than no marriage at all? Jenna stared at her for another moment, then let out a long defeated sigh. 'All right. If he still wants to go through with it, I'll marry him.'
Mrs Drummond smiled exultantly.
On the following Monday morning they were married in a very quiet ceremony before a judge who was an old friend of the family. At the same time, Royce filed papers to formally adopt Robbie. No family or friends were present and Jenna told herself it didn't matter. She was doing something she wasn't very proud of.
Silence filled the small confines of Royce's silver Jaguar when they left the courthouse and sped through the thinning traffic. Swallowing uneasily, she looked at his handsome profile and a small bubble of hysteria tried to slide past the hurt constricting her chest. This stranger is my husband, she thought. I'm Mrs Royce Drummond now.
He hadn't spoken a word to her since he had left her flat Friday night. Mrs Drummond made all the arrangements and told her to be at the judge's chambers at nine o'clock on Monday morning. She met him in the corridor and together, without a word, they went in and exchanged their vows.
He sat next to her now in a severe black suit, looking more grim and haggard than she had ever seen him. Deep lines grooved his mouth, his strong jaw was set, his smouldering grey eyes intent on the road ahead. He tossed his head to an arrogant angle and the cool breeze from his open window ruffled his shining black hair.
Jenna felt small beside him, her hands twisting miserably in her lap, creasing the simple lines of her soft ivory jersey dress. A few loose strands of hair fell across her eyes and when she brushed them back, more came undone. A look of chagrin crossed her face. Why couldn't it stay up today of all days? Her wedding day. She had wanted to look nice, but it was a messy mouse-coloured mop on her head. For all the notice Royce took of her appearance, she could have been bald!
The car purred to a stop in his reserved parking space outside his office building and he turned toward her with eyes as icy as winter skies. 'This is simply another working day as far as I'm concerned,' he said shortly, his lips thinning as if he controlled himself with difficulty. 'Nothing's changed now that we're married. When we're in the office, you're my secretary, nothing more. Only at home, in front of my family, will I consider you my wife.'
'Very well, sir.' The cold lift of her lips was meant to be a smile. She would begin as she meant to go on. Taking the wide gold band from her finger with a show of supreme indifference, she dropped it into her bag. 'Thank you for the lift.' She pushed on the door and walked quickly to the building, crushing back a swift rush of hurt. She shouldn't have expected anything else. It doesn't matter, she told herself. She wouldn't let it matter. This marriage was for Robbie's benefit, not hers.
Chad Redwicke was standing at the time clock when she punched in. 'A little late this morning, aren't you?' he sneered. 'And you said you handed in your resignation on Friday. Was it just a ploy to get the boss to notice you? A little too obvious, don't you think?'
She coldly pushed past him without answering.
'Don't ignore me when I talk to you, Iceberg!' He grabbed her arms and spun her around to face him, bringing her up against his tall body. To anyone passing by, it looked like an embrace. 'There's such an air of mystery about you. No one knows what you're hiding. Tell me your secrets,' he murmured close to her face.
Vibrating with anger, she grated, 'Let me go—'
'If you must do that sort of thing, Jennifer,' Royce cut in coldly from behind them, his eyes narrowing to icy grey pinpoints, 'would you mind doing it in a less public place?'
Her breath caught harshly in her throat and she jerked herself out of Chad's unresisting arms, resentment blazing briefly as she watched Royce disappear down the hall, nodding to several of his colleagues. 'Don't you ever touch me again, Chad!' she muttered angrily.
'What'll you do? Scream for help? Royce Drummond won't come to your rescue, that's for sure. And you two looked so cosy last Friday. What happened? Did he realise you weren't his type? Or did you turn him down once too often? I told you a plain girl like you shouldn't be so choosy.'
'Damn you! Leave me alone!' she cried.
His eyes widened
and he threw his head back with a rich mocking laugh. 'Well, well, so you're not the cool little secretary always in control! There's fire under all that ice after all. Look at those eyes shooting blazing blue sparks at me, and your face all flushed with righteous indignation. Why, you're almost beautiful, Jenna!'
She turned her back on him and stalked away, trying to block out his mocking laughter and the curious glances and whispers of several girls passing in the hallway.
When she got to her office, Royce was standing at her desk thumbing through some papers. His wintry gaze touched her for a fleeting instant before he turned and started back to his own office. 'Bring your notebook for dictation,' he said coldly.
Heat stained her cheeks and a fiery resentment burned in her eyes as she slung her handbag into a bottom drawer, picked up her notepad and followed him.
His dictation was fast and several times his words were muttered, but she never asked him to slow down or speak up. He was angry, and after she had calmed down, she told herself he had every right to be. She crushed her resentment and filled her notepad, and little by little all her anger ebbed away. She was left with only an empty sadness that she had hurt him so badly without meaning to.
When he had finished, he reached in his shirt pocket and found a card with a phone number on it and slid it across his desk. 'Get me Moira DuMont at this number and make dinner reservations for two at the club tonight for eight-thirty. Oh, and send her a dozen white roses.'
The clipped orders sent a fiery wave of crimson heat to her face and unbearable pain flashed in her eyes before it was quickly masked. There was no way to hide her shaking hands when she jotted down the instructions. This was their wedding day! Royce didn't have to drive home the point that it meant nothing to him so cruelly.
'Will there be anything else, sir?' she said quietly, barely keeping her voice cool and impassive.
'Yes.' She lifted her chin and waited. 'Stay away from Chad Redwicke.'
Rage rose in her throat. A bitter galling pain ran through her like a hot poker. 'But it's all right for you to flaunt your women in front of me? Get them on the phone for you? Send them roses?'
'It's what you're paid for!'
Her breath stopped harshly and pain twisted across her face before she sank her teeth into her bottom lip. 'How could I forget?' she choked. Rigid pride demanded that she walk quickly away so he wouldn't see her complete loss of composure.
Royce left the office early that morning, and with his customary inconsiderateness, he didn't tell her where he was going or when he'd be back.
I shouldn't have expected anything different, Jenna told herself when he still hadn't put in an appearance by five o'clock. It was just another working day.
The line at the time clock was long and several girls stopped their chattering to give her sidelong looks and curious stares, but Jenna didn't notice them. She waited her turn without a word, then punched out and ran to catch the bus. It was crowded, but she didn't notice that either. Everything passed in front of her in a blur— faces, voices, blaring traffic. Nothing could touch her on this warm spring afternoon with a hint of summer in it. She had put her feelings in cold storage. It didn't matter that this was her wedding day and she was a June bride. She had seen her husband for a total of twenty minutes this morning and exchanged only half a dozen words with him. She forced herself to remember being Mrs Royce Drummond was simply another job she was handsomely paid to do. A small smile curved her mouth. Should she shock him and try to be a paragon of a wife too? The thought was so ludicrous her smile turned to a grin, and by the time she started up the walk to Kate's house to pick up Robbie, she had talked herself into good spirits.
Kate met her at the door, her face wreathed in smiles. 'It's finally happened!' she shouted, not giving Jenna a chance to say hello. As she hugged her tightly, Kate's happiness bubbled over and became infectious. 'The agency's found a baby for us! We get her tomorrow!'
'Oh, how wonderful! Congratulations!' Jenna grinned. 'You'll make a great mother. I knew it right away.'
'You always know the right thing to say.' Kate's eyes sparkled as she dragged Jenna into the house. 'Frank's just as thrilled as I am.'
At the mention of her husband's name, he got up from the floor where he was playing with Robbie. Tall and thin and slightly balding, he wiped his hand down the side of his jeans, then held it out to Jenna. 'Glad to meet you. I've heard so much about you from Kate. This is quite a boy you've got here.'
'Thank you, and congratulations on your new daughter.'
He nodded, smiling. 'Sit down, won't you? Kate's been waiting for you to come so she could break out the champagne.'
'Here it is,' said Kate, coming from the kitchen, waving a big green bottle. 'Dom Perignon it's not, but I wouldn't know good from bad, so it'll have to do.'
'I've never tasted champagne,' Jenna said shyly, 'so I wouldn't know either.'
The plastic cork made a loud pop and hit the ceiling, and they all laughed as Frank made a big production out of pouring it into three mismatched stemmed water goblets and a tiny plastic mug with Bugs Bunny on it for Robbie.
'A little taste won't hurt him,' he said with a swagger.
Jenna pulled her son on to her lap and then they all held their glasses up to each other.
'To families,' said Frank.
'To babies who make families complete,' Kate said softly.
'To you and your new daughter. May you always be happy,' Jenna added.
'Hey, this is good stuff,' Frank marvelled.
'I hoped it would be. The only other time I had champagne was at our wedding.' Stars were shining in Kate's eyes. 'It's only right, isn't it, champagne at our wedding and now at the birth of our daughter?'
He nodded serenely and just for a moment Jenna envied their closeness. Pain flashed in her eyes but was instantly crushed.
Robbie took a drink and spat it down the front of his shirt before letting out a loud wail.
'Never mind, darling,' she laughed, drinking deeply and hugging him. 'It's probably an acquired taste.'
They all laughed, and for the first time that day Jenna relaxed and let the warm glow of good friends and cheap champagne melt the ice choking her heart.
It was seven-thirty before she went home. She had the taxi drop her at the open gate and she savoured the peaceful dusk as she shifted Robbie in her arms and started up the long circular drive. Her legs felt wobbly and she knew she shouldn't have had so much to drink on an empty stomach, but she justified her actions by telling herself such a day came only once in a lifetime. Her lifetime, anyway. She had married the man she loved. She had a son to call her own and her friends were about to have a daughter. She really did have it all!
She twirled Robbie around and grinned up at the darkening sky, remembering Kate's surprise when the opportunity had presented itself and she had told her she was moving into the Drummond household.
Frank had patted her shoulder and refilled her glass, smiling fatuously, almost like father of the bride. 'We should have got a bigger bottle with all the things we have to celebrate. Congratulations to you and Robbie, Jenna. I hope we'll still get to see you and this handsome hunk now and then.'
'Of course you will,' she assured him. 'I may be starting a new life in a rarefied atmosphere now, but I'll never forget my friends.'
'I'm so glad you've found love at last,' Kate grinned.
Jenna clinked her glass with theirs and laughed, but underneath it all, she knew love hadn't found her.
CHAPTER EIGHT
The house at the end of the drive was huge, and with each step she took Jenna felt herself getting smaller and smaller. Royce never told her his home was actually a thirty-acre estate of woods, lawns and gardens overlooking Lake Ontario from the impressive Scarborough Bluffs. The house itself was a thirty-five-room grey brick mansion, and it was all Jenna could do to force herself to continue walking towards it.
Holding Robbie tightly in her arms, she had just stepped on to a shallow step at the
bottom of the deep pillared portico when the massive double doors burst open and Adam came bounding out to meet her.
'Jennifer! Where have you been? Everybody's been waiting for you. Royce is frantic!'
She drew back, slightly dazed, and blinked up at him. 'Hello, Adam. Or is it Zachary? I've been collecting your nephew.' Her voice was husky, the words slurred, all at once she hiccupped.
'I'm Adam—'
There was a sudden commotion behind him, hurrying footsteps and loud exclamations as Jenna smiled up at Mrs Drummond and the rest of her children crowding behind her.
'Are you all right?' her mother-in-law asked, rushing down the shallow steps. 'You're so flushed. Royce missed you at the office, and when it got so late we thought you might have had an accident.'
Robbie was taken from her arms, but before Jenna could say a word, a car screeched to a halt behind her. As she turned, Royce slid from behind the wheel and strode angrily to them.
'Where have you been?' he snapped. His dark suitcoat was hanging open and his tie was undone and his shirt unbuttoned part way down. His hair stood on end as if he'd been dragging his hands through it.
Jenna blinked at him in surprise, swaying a little. Everything suddenly started to spin and she tried to find her voice, but nothing would come out. She hiccupped and cleared her throat and tried again. 'Hello, Royce. Were you looking for me? I was celebrating with Kate. I thought you were celebrating with—' Her forehead wrinkled. 'Isn't it Moira something-or-other this week?'
His eyes narrowed to molten slits. 'Good God, you're drunk!'
'I had two glasses of champagne.' She put a dazed hand to her face and swayed. Her hair slipped out of its coil and fell in her eyes. Trying to look away from the suddenly accusing faces of her new family, she felt defenceless and lost. 'That's not enough to make anybody drunk, is it?' She looked anxiously to the ground at her feet. 'Where's Robbie?'
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