by Mary Monroe
From the angry look on Simone’s face, Ruby knew not to bring up the subject. When she looked at Othella’s face, the angry look on hers was just as severe as the one on her mother’s.
“I’ll miss you, Ruby,” Othella said. “I’ll send you a letter as soon as I get settled in New Orleans. Maybe you can come visit when you graduate from school ... on your way to that colored college your folks want you to go to.”
“I’ll probably get a whuppin’ when I get home today,” Ruby sighed, moving toward the door.
And she did. As soon as she entered the living room front door, Reverend Upshaw lit into her with his belt.
For the next few weeks, Ruby moped around the house like a woman in mourning. She went to school in a daze and came home in a daze. Her homework suffered, she suffered. One day she was so distraught, she had a severe panic attack at the dinner table in front of her parents, her sister Lola, and Lola’s busybody husband, Arlester. Not knowing what was really happening, Ruby’s mother assumed she’d choked on a fish bone so Ruby went along with that.
“If you goin’ to eat fried fish without chokin’, you need to eat slower, Ruby Jean,” Ida Mae said, clapping Ruby on the back until she stopped hyperventilating. “I thought you was old enough to know that.”
“Swallow some corn bread. That’ll absorb that fish bone,” Reverend Upshaw advised Ruby before he carefully bit a tail in two, his favorite part on a fish.
“I’m all right,” Ruby sputtered, still having a hard time trying to catch her breath. Once she’d composed herself, she actually smiled.
“Ruby Jean, the more I see you, the more I think you tryin’ to hide somethin’ real serious,” Arlester said. That signifying monkey sat at the table, spilling his red wine all over Ida Mae’s brand new white linen tablecloth. His comments made Ruby so uneasy, her butt started to itch like she’d sat in a bucket of fleas. “You want to talk about it?”
“I don’t want to talk about nothin’,” Ruby snapped, giving her brother-in-law a look so sharp he flinched and wiggled in his seat, like his butt was itching, too. “And if you don’t mind, please stop tellin’ me how bad I look, or how you think I’m tryin’ to hide somethin’, ’cause I ain’t. Pass the gravy, please.”
The conversation shifted abruptly to an upcoming church event, but Arlester continued giving Ruby suspicious looks and shaking his triangle-shaped head. The looks that she shot back at him must have been pretty effective because he didn’t mess with her again for the rest of the evening. However, as he was preparing to leave, he took her aside and told her, “Baby girl, if you ever want to confide in me, all you need to do is let me know. I ain’t no expert, like a psychiatrist or preacher, but I been around enough to know a little bit of somethin’ about everything. Maybe I can turn you around.”
“Arlester, I don’t need to be turned around or nothin’ else. Now you have a blessed evenin’,” Ruby told him, closing the front door so fast behind him and Lola that she caught the tail of his jacket in it.
The closer it got to Othella’s departure date, which Othella had estimated to be the week after Thanksgiving, or at least before Christmas, Ruby was almost as robotic as a zombie.
On Thanksgiving Day, when all of her six sisters and their families and a few members of Reverend Upshaw’s congregation showed up for dinner, Ruby remained in her room the whole day. Beulah, knowing how much Ruby liked to eat, and feeling sorry for her, fixed her a huge plate of black-eyed peas, corn bread, rice and gravy, turkey necks so tender the meat was falling off the bones, and yams. She delivered the feast to Ruby on a platter.
When Beulah entered Ruby’s bedroom a few hours later, the plate was still on top of Ruby’s dresser where she’d left it, and none of the food had been eaten.
The day after Thanksgiving, while Ida Mae was cleaning up the mess that her guests had made, Ruby finally stumbled out of her room and into the kitchen.
“Ruby Jean, you need to get a grip on yourself. You know we love you and we only want you to be happy,” Ida Mae said to Ruby in a gentle voice, rubbing her shoulder.
Ruby had been crying off and on for hours. Her eyes were bloodshot and almost swollen shut. “I ain’t never goin’ to be happy in this house,” she sobbed, blinking hard to hold back her tears. “I am goin’ to marry the first man that asks me, so I can get up out of here!” she threatened, pouring herself a large glass of goat’s milk, wishing it was beer.
“You do that and you’ll be back home in no time. You think you miserable now because you’re livin’ by our rules? Just wait until you get married and have to live by your husband’s rules! You’ll come runnin’ back here lickety-split—just like all of your sisters keep threatenin’ to do. Life ain’t easy, girl. Me and your daddy, we are simply tryin’ to keep you from experiencin’ just how evil and ugly the world really is, for as long as we can.” Ida Mae gave Ruby a guarded look as she continued to rub her on the shoulder. “You need to think about somebody other than yourself for a change. Like your daddy, and how hard he works to keep folks around here on the straight and narrow. Do you think he likes spendin’ so many evenin’s a week visitin’ folks so he can minister them, like he’s doin’ right now as we speak? And the poor soul is another one of them wretched worldly women that done lost her way. Do you think your daddy likes that?” Ida Mae didn’t give Ruby time to answer her question. “No. No, he don’t like roamin’ from the house of one wench to another like he’s been doin’ so much of lately. Don’t make his burden no harder than it already is.”
This was not the first time that Ida Mae had complained about Reverend Upshaw making “house calls” and Ruby knew it wouldn’t be the last. For one thing, according to Beulah, and a couple of her other sisters, Ida Mae was uncomfortable with her husband spending so much of his time administering spiritual comfort to single women, especially the ones with bad reputations. It seemed like the younger and prettier those women were, the more spiritual comfort they required.
Ida Mae was in bed by the time her husband returned home. He was surprised to see Ruby still up, sitting in the living room enjoying some of what was left of the huge Thanksgiving feast that Ida Mae had prepared.
“Ruby Jean! What—ain’t you supposed to be in the bed by now?” Reverend Upshaw exclaimed as he stumbled in the front door. He looked flushed and tired. “Uh, are you all right, sugar?”
Ruby nodded. “Daddy, I told Mama that I can’t wait to get married so I can get up out of this house,” she muttered.
“Uh, to be honest with you, I can’t wait for you to get married, too. The sooner you learn about life, the better off we’ll all be,” Reverend Upshaw said, as he stood in the middle of the floor moping sweat off his face with the back of his hand.
Ruby noticed that his shirt was buttoned wrong, and the fly on his pants was open. With a stony expression on her face, she looked her father up and down. She wrestled with her thoughts, because she didn’t want to believe the obvious: either her daddy was fooling around with other women, or he was one hell of a clumsy ox who had bumped against a woman so hard she left lipstick on his collar.
“You been sippin’ on elderberry wine again, Papa,” Ruby accused. It was hard for her to believe that the average man still had not figured out how easy it was for lipstick to get on his clothes or face if he got close enough to a woman. “You got some red stains on your shirt collar ... again.” It was a tone of voice that she rarely used with her father, and she only used it when she knew he would not retaliate.
“Oh?” He rubbed both sides of the collar on his shirt, but all that did was spread the lipstick even more. “I had me a few sips with Sister Blake—medicinal purposes as always,” he eagerly offered. He was sweating profusely as he continued to rub the side of his collar, trying with no success to rub off the red stain.
“It’s stained on both sides this time,” Ruby pointed out. “It is red wine, ain’t it?”
“It sure enough is! What else could it be?” Reverend Upshaw folded his arms and gave Ruby a
narrow-eyed look, like he was trying to read her mind. “Now you quit bein’ so nosy and get yourself to bed. You got Bible study tomorrow.”
CHAPTER 25
THE SATURDAY AFTER THANKSGIVING, RUBY PAID OTHELLA another visit around midnight. She had accepted the fact that she was losing the most important friend she’d ever had in her life. She didn’t know when, or if, she’d ever see her again after Othella moved to New Orleans. That was why it was so important to Ruby to see Othella as much as she could now.
One thing that Ruby liked about seeing Othella in the middle of the night was that she didn’t have to face Ike. He only spoke to Ruby now when he couldn’t avoid her, like on the street, or at the corner store. He had not returned to school either, so she didn’t have to worry about running into him there. The other boys who had used her had also moved on to other girls. And when she ran into them, they didn’t even acknowledge her.
“I got to find me somebody to marry, Othella, and I got to find him real quick, before I go stone crazy,” Ruby told her friend as they sat on footstools in Simone’s living room, drinking beer and nibbling on cold fried chicken wings.
“You ain’t goin’ to have much luck findin’ one around here. All the good ones have already been snatched up. That’s why I’m goin’ to New Orleans for a fresh start.”
“What if you meet somebody to marry here before you leave? Would you stay then?” Ruby asked with a hopeful look on her tortured face.
A sad look crossed Othella’s face and she rubbed Ruby’s shoulder. “Ruby, ain’t no man in his right mind goin’ to marry me knowin’ who my mama is. I need to go someplace where nobody knows me.”
Ruby had almost given up all hope of changing her life when she found a way out that she never would have expected. That Sunday after her last visit with Othella, Othella came to her bedroom window around two in the morning. She got Ruby’s attention by throwing pebbles at her window.
Ruby stumbled out of bed, lit the kerosene lamp on her dresser, and ran to the window. She lifted it with one hand and leaned out. “What’s wrong with you, girl?” she hissed, propping open the window with one hand, holding the coal oil lamp in the other. “What you doin’ out here this time of night? I just left your house a couple of hours ago. Did I forget and leave somethin’ over there?”
“You need to come back to my house with me. You need to come with me right now!” Othella said in a low steady voice, with a mysterious look on her face. She was rarely this serious, so Ruby knew that something big was going on. And whatever it was, it involved Ruby.
Ruby almost peed on herself because she could only think of one thing important enough for Othella to order her out of bed in the middle of the night: somebody had found out about the baby!
“Oh God! Somebody done told on me!” Ruby hollered, almost in tears. “They know I had a baby!”
“This ain’t got nothin’ to do with your baby!”
“Did—did another man die in the bed on top of your mama?”
“I ain’t got time to explain nothin’, and we need to hurry up before it’s too late! And bring that lamp with you!”
Ruby left the window and grabbed the same off-white shift that she had worn to church earlier in the day. It took her less than two minutes to get dressed. She slid out of the window, hitting the ground so hard she fell, dropping the coal oil lamp at Othella’s feet. Othella helped Ruby up with one hand and picked up the lamp with the other.
“What’s goin’ on?” Ruby asked, brushing off her dress.
“Just follow me!” Othella ordered.
Ruby had a hard time keeping up with Othella as she followed her back to her house. “I want you to know right now that I’m only just findin’ this out myself. But I got a feelin’ it’s been goin’ on for a while,” Othella said, sounding even more serious.
“What?”
“Hush up! Come on with me!”
They tiptoed up the steps to the back porch. As soon as they got inside the kitchen, Othella blew out the lamp. There was enough light coming from another lamp filled to the brim with kerosene on the counter in the kitchen for them to see their way down the hall. Once they reached Simone’s room, Othella stopped and gave Ruby a pitiful look. Then she held her breath and reached for the doorknob. Simone and her lover were so involved in what they were doing, they didn’t even hear the loud squeaky door open.
Ruby almost fainted when she saw the bare back of a large, dark-skinned man on top of Simone. He was humping her so hard, the legs on the cheap bed were rising off the hardwood floor, making a click-clacking noise. Ruby turned to Othella with a puzzled look on her face and shrugged. “You dragged me out of bed to come look at your mama fuckin’ one of her customers?” Ruby whispered. “Why?”
Instead of answering, Othella cleared her throat as loud as she could. But that still didn’t get any attention from the couple in the bed. So Othella stomped her foot so hard and loud, the Bible on the nightstand fell to the floor.
This was the same room where Ruby had given birth a few months ago. This was the last place that she expected to see her daddy. Simone, looking over his shoulder, gave Othella and Ruby one of the dirtiest looks she could manage. If looks could kill, Othella and Ruby would have immediately dropped dead on the spot.
“Aw shit,” Simone complained, tapping Reverend Upshaw on the shoulder. He stopped humping, but he took his time turning around and rolling off her. Had he seen the Devil himself, he couldn’t have looked more frightened or busted.
The funny thing about a married man who gets caught in bed with another woman is that the first thing out of his mouth is usually the universal line: “This ain’t what it looks like—I can explain!” Those were the exact words that shot out of Reverend Upshaw’s mouth like a cannonball. Still huffing and puffing, he scrambled off the bed, his huge bare feet hitting the floor with a loud thud. He pulled the flowered sheet with him, wrapping it around his waist with both hands. “I DECLARE!” he began with his eyes as wide open as they could get. “Ruby Jean, you—you ain’t got no—no business bein’ up in Simone’s bedroom this time of night!” he stammered. “I DECLARE!”
“I declare, you ain’t neither,” Ruby retorted. She was so stunned, she could barely breathe. For a split second, she thought she was going to have a serious panic attack. She was glad that didn’t happen, and that she managed to remain somewhat composed. “At least not like this.”
“This ain’t what it looks like, Ruby Jean. You know me. This is just business,” Simone said, rising. She swung her freshly shaven legs to the side of the bed and didn’t even bother to hide her nakedness.
“I can see that!” Ruby screeched, blinking and breathing hard. She could not believe her eyes. Either she was having a bad dream or her eyes were playing tricks on her. But she was not dreaming, and her mind was not playing tricks on her. This was as real as it could get. The room even smelled like hot sex. That was one smell that she’d recognize anywhere. She rubbed her eyes as she moved a few steps closer to the bed. She recognized the Bible on the floor, which had fallen off the nightstand. It was the same one that her father took with him when he made his house calls.
“LORD HAVE MERCY!” Reverend Upshaw roared, his eyes bugged out so far, it looked like they were about to roll down the front of his burning face. This was the last thing that he thought he’d ever have to deal with! It was not the first time he’d been unfaithful, and, it wouldn’t be the last. But right now this was the only transgression that required some immediate damage control. “Ruby Jean ... I ... Lord Jesus!” he yelled, his voice so hoarse his words almost sounded like a foreign language.
“You better call on the Lord, and I hope you don’t have the nerve to tell him ‘this ain’t what it looks like,’ because He knows better, and so do I,” Ruby snarled.
“Now look ... this ... uh.” Reverend Upshaw stood by the bed as stiff as an oak tree. “See, I come over here on spiritual business ... and ... but you see, it just happened. Satan has a way of leadin’ us
so astray... .” The reverend stopped talking and ran his trembling fingers through his wild hair.
“I hope my mama thinks it was just spiritual business, and I hope she holds Satan responsible,” Ruby quipped.
“Now look,” he began again, a hand in the air. It was funny how the light from the kerosene lamp on the nightstand seemed to shine more on the gold wedding band on his thick finger than anything else in the room. The sheet slipped, and for the first time in her life, Ruby saw her father’s dick. It was long and thick, like the kind she liked herself. She could understand why a woman like Simone would want to hop into bed with him. And how many other women? she wondered.
“Your mama ain’t got to know nothin’ about this! She got a weak heart and high blood pressure. This could kill her!”
Ruby had never seen her father look so desperate and frantic before in her life. Seeing him this way now made her want to throw up. She would never look at him the same way again. It was one thing for her to be a hypocrite; she was too young and stupid to know better. But he was a man of God, and he was supposed to be setting an example for her and everybody else. If preachers were this trifling, what did she have to expect from regular men? Those thoughts made her shudder.
Mumbling under his breath, Reverend Upshaw leaned down and picked up the sheet and wrapped it back around his trembling body.
“If you so concerned about Mama’s weak heart and high blood pressure, how come you are over here like this?” Ruby asked, making a sweeping gesture with her hand. “If this is the kind of stuff you been tryin’ to keep me from doin’, why are you here doin’ it?”
Reverend Upshaw blinked and then he snatched a damp napkin off the nightstand and honked into it. “I’ll say this much,” he continued. “Don’t you raise your voice to me, girl! I’m still your daddy, and as long as I’m alive and kickin’, I’m the one in charge! How many times I got to remind you to do as I say, not as I do?”