by Parker Blue
“But you’re the one who did, and I thank you for it.”
He changed the subject. “Before we hit the streets again, why don’t we go over our notes, make a few phone calls to see what we can find out? We can get a lot accomplished that way.”
“Okay. Your place or mine?”
“Mine, I guess—I have my notes there.”
When we arrived at the townhouses, I followed Dan into his, which was a mirror image of Gwen’s. While he made a few phone calls to other SCU members, I called some of Jen’s friends. Together, we managed to piece together a picture of what a volunteer did at the blood banks. Brittany was right—the Movement was scrupulous in not using their young workers as blood donors, and none of them had been harmed yet, or turned. Basically, all they did was hand out juice and cookies, direct traffic at the banks, and act as goodwill ambassadors to the public. I felt a little relieved, but not totally.
As Dan handed me a Coke, he said, “We’ve been distracted by Jennifer and Lily’s situations and forgot that Ramirez tasked us with finding out if this vein of vampires is behind the killings.”
“Yeah. We’ve found the vein, but don’t know what they’re up to.”
Dan popped the top on his own Coke. “That’s obvious. They’re vampires, so what they’re up to is murder, mayhem, and mass destruction.”
Surprised by the harshness of his tone, I said, “You really think the Movement is responsible for the increased attacks? It could be another group we don’t know about yet.” Not that I had the warm and fuzzies for Alejandro’s group, but I wanted to get it right.
“Vampire attacks have doubled since the Movement started. Is that a coincidence?” Dan sat on the couch and took a slug of his drink. “I don’t think so.”
I sat next to him, and we both slipped off our shoes to recline companionably on the couch together, our feet up on the coffee table. “But Ramirez says those three who attacked us weren’t part of the New Blood Movement.”
“So far as he knows.”
He sure was cynical tonight. “His information has been accurate so far. Has your investigation shown something different?”
“Not yet. But don’t you think it’s weird that the lieutenant knows a lot about what is going on with the vampires in the city, but he doesn’t know what the Movement is up to?”
I shrugged. “Maybe it means his informant doesn’t know.”
“So, the informant isn’t in the Movement, but someone who knows what the other vamps are doing,” Dan said thoughtfully.
“Another vamp?” I suggested.
“Maybe.” He made an impatient gesture. “This is getting us nowhere. We need to find out what Alejandro is planning to do with the organization he’s building.”
“I think he’s on the level. I think he built the Movement to do just as he said—improve vampire and human relationships.”
Dan gave me a disbelieving look. “You believe that? Why? Because he’s pretty and charming?”
That was insulting. “No, because everything he’s said has checked out so far. He really does seem to be trying to make things better.”
Dan snorted. “Yeah, right. That’s why he turns people like Lily into bloodsuckers . . . because he’s such a nice guy.”
“Lily is responsible for her own decisions. Why are you trying to act like she had no choice?” I asked, then mocked him with his own words. “Because she’s pretty and charming? C’mon Dan, she’s just as undead as he is.”
Running an impatient hand through his hair, Dan said, “Yeah, It’s just hard to believe anyone I know would choose a life like that.”
“Are you sure that’s all it is?” I asked skeptically.
“Yes, I’m sure. Damn it, I don’t want her anymore. She’s dead to me now. Literally. You’ve shown me that.” He slanted me a glance full of meaning.
Meaning what, though? Heat suffused my face as I wondered . . . hoped . . . he meant he wanted me instead.
No, I couldn’t go there. “I’m glad to hear I helped you come to your senses,” I hedged.
“That’s not what I meant.” He moved closer. “There’s something between us—chemistry, something, I don’t know. Don’t you feel it?”
I scooted away as he advanced, until I came up against the end of the couch and couldn’t go any farther.
His face inches from my own, he stared into my eyes. “You do, don’t you?”
Lola yelled, “Yes!” but I blurted, “No!”
“Why not?” Dan asked with a smile as he caressed my cheek with the back of his fingers.
Ohmigod. I didn’t know I could feel like that, all kind of tingly and warm and weak. This wasn’t demon-Val—she was more likely to just want to get physical. This part was all human-Val, wanting something all mixed-up and emotional.
But Dan had just asked me why we couldn’t share a little tenderness. I was having a hard time figuring that out myself, but I searched for something he would buy. “Because we work together?” I hated the way that came out sounding more like a question than a statement. But he was sorely testing the limits of my hold on Lola.
“So?” he asked as he leaned even closer. “We’re both professionals. We won’t let this interfere with our jobs.” And his slow smile made me feel boneless as he cupped the back of my head with his hand and leaned closer.
Ohmigod. I could sympathize—really sympathize—but I had to control my emotions before it was too late to control the demon. How could I stop this? “You’re on the rebound,” I protested, pressing myself as far into the couch cushions away from him as I could and pushing my hands against his chest.
“Not really. Lily and I haven’t been together for two months, and before that it wasn’t . . . good.”
He leaned down and kissed my neck. Something inside me did a loop the loop of pure joy. Oh, no. I wanted him to do more. I wanted him to stop. I didn’t know what the heck I wanted. But the succubus inside me was very clear—it was warm, willing, and waiting . . . for him. All I had to do was cooperate.
But how could I? Lord knew I wanted to, but could I rein it in? Could I keep the demon from pulling too much energy while enjoying it on a non-physical level? Unsure, I fired my strongest weapon. “I-I don’t want this.”
Dan laughed. “The hell you don’t.” And with that, he kissed me, his lips soft and gentle. I sank into him and he moved his mouth against mine, coaxing me to respond.
I had so many odd feelings going on inside me, I didn’t know what to do. That kiss with Johnny Morton had been a pale thing compared to this. Johnny was a boy, but Dan was definitely a man. Was I ready for this?
And he sure knew how to kiss. I couldn’t help but react, and the power curled within me, responding to Dan’s sensuality. But it didn’t try to take charge, didn’t try to force him. Instead, Lola seemed content to let Dan rev me up.
Not that he needed any help from the demon to make me go all weak at the knees—he was doing fine all by himself. He broke the kiss off to say in a hoarse voice, “Tell me you don’t want this.”
Heaven help me, I did—badly. I’d controlled Lola so far, maybe it was possible to keep her from taking over. And why shouldn’t I try? Every other girl my age had done this, why couldn’t I? I really wanted to know what it was like to make out with a guy.
Feeling as if I were drowning in sensation, I admitted, “I can’t tell you that.” I dragged his head back down to mine and kissed him with all the pent-up frustration I’d held inside for so long.
He responded in kind and soon we were both breathless, lying half on, half off the couch. Dan rose to his knees and tugged his sweater off over his head, tossing it aside.
“Oh, wow,” I breathed. If I hadn’t succumbed before, the sight of Dan’s chest would have made me drop my defenses in a flash. Lightly sculpted with the sleek muscles of a man who trained in martial arts, his chest was sprinkled with light brown hair and a couple of old scars.
And I thought he was hot before . . . . A surge of hunger licked thr
ough me, prowling through me like a predator on the hunt.
He reached for my blouse but I grabbed his hand and held it away. My face was way too hot, and the rest of my body wasn’t doing much better. I couldn’t go any further, couldn’t risk the demon getting loose, though I was surely tempted. What would it feel like to have his hands on my bare skin? On those parts that were aching with need?
As if Lola sensed I couldn’t be trusted to give her what she wanted, she burst free, sending greedy tentacles of power whipping into Dan.
No, no, no. As I watched in helpless horror, desperately trying to gather up the shredded remains of my control, Dan reared back, his body bowed with surprise. Dan’s eyes widened and he gripped my arms tighter as he shuddered in ecstasy.
No, no, no. This couldn’t be happening.
He released me and collapsed back onto the couch, and I used everything in my power to keep the succubus from drinking in all that delicious energy and draining him. I scrambled away from him to a chair in the far corner, hoping that the distance would make it easier on both of us. When I finally had it back under wraps, I asked, “Dan, are you all right?”
He lay sprawled back on the couch, trying to catch his breath. “My God,” he gasped. “What . . . what the hell was that?”
“A really good make-out session?” I ventured. But the anger in his eyes told me he wasn’t buying it, and I’d better come up with a plausible explanation—fast.
Dan scowled. “The hell it was. That was something different. It felt like . . . like when Charlene had her hooks in me. Are you a vampire?” he asked tightly.
“No!” He wasn’t thinking clearly. “You saw me handle silver and sunlight with no problem.” But he was probably feeling manipulated and controlled right now . . . violated. Who could blame him? I watched him anxiously.
He narrowed his eyes. “Okay, so you’re not a vampire. But you’re not quite human, either, are you? I saw your eyes flash some weird purple light. What are you?”
I bit my lip, looking anywhere but at him. How could I tell him?
“Are you some kind of . . . of . . . hell spawn?”
Oh yeah, right. That’s so not the first thing I would have thought. “So far as I know, there’s no such thing as hell spawn,” I said indignantly.
“Quit avoiding the question. What are you?”
I squirmed a little, then admitted, “My . . . my great-grandparent was a demon.”
“I’ve been kissing a demon?” He scrambled to his feet.
“Only one-eighth demon,” I said, my eyes pleading with him to understand.
“So . . . what?” he asked, retreating to a chair. “You go all bumpy and scaly now?”
Damn it, I knew it. I knew he’d think of me as a monster. Why had I been so stupid? “Don’t be ridiculous. Do I look like a lizard to you?”
“No . . . But how am I supposed to know what you’ll do?”
I sighed. “There are all kinds of demons.”
“What kind are you?”
“I-I’m part succubus.”
“What the hell is that?”
Still avoiding his gaze, I said, “A succubus is a female . . . lust demon. I call mine Lola.”
“Lust demon? You mean you forced me to feel the way I did?”
He sounded betrayed. I met his gaze then. “Not entirely. Our attraction to each other just made it stronger.”
“What is ‘it’ exactly? What does a succubus demon do?”
“Absorbs the energy generated by lust.”
He stared at me for a moment as he took in the implications of my confession. When he finally regained his powers of speech, he asked, “You fed on me?”
“A little,” I admitted. “But I stopped it as soon as I could.”
“You’ve been feeding on me all this time?”
“You make it sound like I seduced you against your will,” I protested. “You started this.”
“Maybe,” he gritted out. “But you’re the one who finished it.”
“Not me,” I said, hating the way I sounded so desperate and pleading. “It was the demon inside me. I thought I could control her, keep her hidden, but you were such a good kisser, I lost it.”
He rejected my flattery with a sharp movement of his hand. “You said earlier you were one-eighth demon. Now you’re trying to tell me it’s living inside you like a separate being? What does that mean? What Lola wants, Lola gets?”
I hunched a shoulder. “No. I have her under control . . . most of the time.”
“So can you get rid of her?”
“I wish I could, but it doesn’t work like that. Lola really is a part of me.” I shook my head sadly. “I’m so sorry. Micah thought I might be able to control it—”
“Wait,” Dan said, “Micah is a succubus too?”
“Actually, a male lust demon is called an incubus.”
“Whatever. Is he one, too?”
“Yes. He inherited it from his father. I inherited from my father.” I clutched a pillow to my stomach, feeling miserable. “He couldn’t control the incubus, so he killed himself.”
“Well, that explains a lot . . . . Does Ramirez know what you are?”
“Yeah. I don’t know how, but he does.”
“So that makes four lust demons so far, two living. How many are there in the city?”
“I-I don’t know. Until I found Micah, I thought I was the only one.”
He looked thoughtful. “You said there’s more than one kind of demon. Those costumes in Purgatory . . . they weren’t costumes, were they? Those were real demons.”
That forced my head to snap up. Were they real? “I don’t know. If they were, I didn’t know it either. Fang could tell you—”
I broke off suddenly, wishing I could rewind what I’d just said.
“Fang?” he repeated. “The dog is a demon?”
“To some extent,” I said lamely. “Like me. He’s part hellhound, which is why he can sniff out vampires and other demons.” Plus he talked to me in my head, but I wasn’t sure Dan was ready to hear that yet.
Dan shook his head in disbelief. “Does everyone have supernatural blood but me?”
“Of course not. And just because we’re part demon doesn’t mean we’re all bad, you know. Just like you, we try to live normal lives. We eat, sleep, drink—”
“Suck blood, feed on sexual energy . . . ”
“That’s not fair,” I protested.
“Fair?” he repeated, his voice rising. “What the hell is fair about any of this? How can I tell what’s real now? How can I tell what feelings are really mine, and which are caused by Lola?” He glared at me. “Turn it off.”
“What?”
“Turn off your powers. I want to know what I really feel without them.”
I shook my head slowly. “It’s not like a faucet. I can’t turn it off. I can only keep it subdued . . . like now. Anything you’re feeling at this moment comes from you, not me.”
“How do I know that?”
“You have my word on it.”
He snorted. “Your word. Right. The word of a woman who’s passing for human and lying about being a demon to her own partner?”
“I had a good reason for not telling you,” I snapped.
“Yeah—so you and Lola could suck me dry without my knowing it.”
“No, if I’d wanted to do that, I could have done it the first time we met. But I knew you wouldn’t understand.”
“What’s there to understand? No wonder you’re so good at killing the monsters—you’re one of them.” He turned away, running a hand over his face. “I’d appreciate it if you’d leave now. I’ll ask Ramirez for another partner first thing tomorrow.”
Whoa. Talk about a slam in the gut. I don’t know why, but I hadn’t expected that. I guess I thought we could work it out, find some way to continue working together. Guess not.
And it was all my fault. Life had just been starting to turn good again, but I had to go and ruin it all.
No, th
at was wrong. Lola had ruined it, and now Dan thought I was some kind of monster. There was nothing else I could do or say. As tears blinded me, I blinked them back, gathered up my things, and left.
CHAPTER ELEVEN
I woke from a restless sleep the next afternoon after a night of chewing myself out. Though I didn’t get much sleep, I felt stronger than I ever had before, more vibrantly alive. I’d have liked to attribute it to healthy living, but knew it was because Lola had fed on Dan’s energy.
I was just relieved I’d stopped it before she had gone too far. But what if I hadn’t? I shuddered. That would have been a catastrophe. Dan was already angry with me. If I’d taken any more from him, he would really be pissed . . . or dead.
But what I hated most was how good I felt, like I’d been thirsty my whole life and had just gotten a tiny sip of the nectar of the gods. The only problem was, I didn’t want just a sip. I wanted to drink and drink until I filled up all the parched, empty spots in my being. Yeah, mostly it was demon-Val feeling that way, but I feared a lot of it was human-Val, too. Was that sick, or what?
Fang nudged me with his nose, offering comfort. YOU’RE NOT SICK. YOU’RE NORMAL. IT’S THE WHOLE TEENAGER HORMONE THING, YOU KNOW.
Maybe. I smiled at him. “Thanks for trying.” I just wished I could believe him.
He snuggled closer and licked my hand as I stroked his soft ears.
From now on, I was sticking to dogs. They were sweet, uncomplicated, and loved without reservation. Guys were just too much work.
I should have known better, should have trusted my instincts and never gotten close. I’d thought I could handle it, keep Lola under control. But the succubus had betrayed me at the worst possible moment. And now I was paying the price.
That was the killer. The price was way too high for a few moments of bliss. It had cost me Dan’s friendship.
I blinked back tears. People all over the world were pairing up. Would it ever be my turn? Would I ever be able to be myself and find someone to love without giving up my humanity to do it?
The tears did escape then. This just confirmed that I could never get close to a guy again. Not in that way, anyway. Not unless I took Micah’s advice and found someone I could take advantage of to feed Lola first.