I’ve never seen a person look more solemn or nervous.
And I felt like my own heart was about to jump out of my chest. I knew exactly what she was feeling, and I wanted to protect her from the fear and help her conquer it all at the same time. About two seconds later, they squeezed the triggers, and she officially had pierced ears.
She let out a loud gasp. I held my breath, not sure if she was going to cry or scream or completely freak out. And then she said, “That didn’t hurt at all!” I’m not sure if that was totally true, but I think her complete giddiness over her new, sparkly green earrings trumped any pain. She jumped on me and hugged me, so full of joy and excitement. And my heart almost couldn’t take it.
I told her a million times how proud I was of her for facing her fears and tried to turn it into a life lesson about how sometimes the anticipation of a thing is worse than the actual event. But honestly, I think that’s a lesson she already knows. She approaches life with a kind of fearlessness I’ve never known.
My prayer for her is that she will be like those sparkly green earrings she chose at the mall that day. Shiny, happy, and colorful, with a blinding glimmer every time they catch the light. When she entered our lives, it turned our black-and-white world into a place filled with unimaginable color and sparkle. Daniel 12:3 says that those who are wise will “shine like the brightness of the heavens, and those who lead many to righteousness, like the stars for ever and ever.”
I want her to catch the light of Jesus Christ and never let go.
Last Mother’s Day one of our worship leaders was the guest speaker. She talked about motherhood, and one thing she said has stuck with me: “When we loosen our grip, he tightens his.”
I know I’ve made some mistakes with Caroline, and I’m sure I’ll make more, but he doesn’t make mistakes. He loves unconditionally. His plans and purposes are perfect. He created her with a purpose and a plan for this time, for this generation.
My job is to strive to lead her to him in everything I do. To show her that even though there are times I can’t be there and times (like from the ages of twelve to eighteen) she’ll act like she doesn’t necessarily want me there, God is always there. Watching, catching, loving, and molding her into the person she was created to be. She’s safer in his grip than she’ll ever be in mine.
He has created more personality in my girl’s little body than a human being should be allowed. I can’t wait to see what he does with it.
Even if there are times I’ll need to cry a little bit in my car.
While eating a chocolate donut.
Mothering Caroline is the greatest joy I’ve ever known. The most important thing I’ll ever do. And I love her more than she’ll ever know.
At least until she has a child of her own.
Acknowledgments
I can’t even pretend that this book would have happened without the support and love of the following people. I mean, I could pretend, but it would be a lie. And if I’m going to start lying, I’ll start with my weight or my age.
Perry: Part of the reason I finally sat down and wrote this book is because you never quit asking, “When are you going to write that book?” Yes, it got on my nerves, but I love you for it. You help me find the laughter in everything. There’s no one I’d rather share this life with.
Dad and Cherrie: I hope this makes you feel like you’ve gotten some kind of return on the investment you made in my college education, since I know my grades didn’t accomplish that. I love you both so much. Thanks for always seeing the best in me and for teaching me to love with my whole heart. There are few things I love more than watching the way Caroline lights up when her Mimi and Bops walk into the room.
Gulley: Thank you for convincing me that if Paul Blart: Mall Cop could be the number one movie in America, then there was a market for this book, because that movie was a clear sign that we live in a world where people are desperate for a reason to laugh. You have always believed in me, and you’ve saved me hundreds of thousands of dollars in therapy. I love you more than my luggage.
Amy: I’m so glad you are my sister. I never would have showered during Caroline’s first year of life if you hadn’t been such a great aunt. I love you.
Honey and Big: I’m thankful that you took me in and allowed me to stay and eat your food and sleep in your beds all these years.
Sophie: I’m so glad we met on the Internet. And I’m still amazed that it happened to two introverts who sometimes pretend to be extroverts. Thank you for all the encouragement and for listening to me talk all those years about “the book” I was going to write “someday.”
Jennifer Clouse: You are the bravest person I know. And I can’t thank you enough for putting on your consultant hat when I was trying to figure out cover art. I love you.
Birthday Club: Y’all are my sanity. Thanks for being so excited for me. Here’s to many more years of monthly Mexican food together.
Bill: I knew the first time I met you that our paths would cross again. I’m thankful that I finally sent that e-mail to the right address. You are the best agent I could ever hope for and the only reason I was ever able to figure out how to write a book proposal.
Stephanie: You have made this book better than it ever would have been without you. I love having you as my editor. And I love saying, “I have an editor.” It sounds very professional.
Lisa Jackson and the Tyndale team: I am grateful to all of you for taking a chance on me. I knew Tyndale was the right choice, but I had no idea how right until I met you all in person and knew I’d found my people.
My blog readers: The encouragement and support y’all have given me over the years overwhelm me. Thank you for showing up every day to read what I write.
And, most of all, God: I am humbled by your love for me and by the mercy and grace you continue to pour out on this undeserving soul.
About the Author
Melanie Shankle was in fourth grade when her teacher asked her to read aloud a story she had written to the entire class. Even though that story now seems a little silly and simplistic, it made the students in Mrs. Rice’s homeroom laugh out loud, and a little dream began in Melanie’s heart—a dream to use words to make people laugh.
Over the ensuing years, Melanie wrote when she had a chance and tucked things away in notebooks and journals, rarely showing any of it to anyone. But in July 2005, on a total whim and in desperate need of a creative outlet, she began writing a blog called Big Mama. No one was more shocked than Melanie when someone other than her dad and her college roommate began to read it.
Since that time Melanie has seen her blog readership grow beyond her wildest dreams and open the doors to writing and speaking opportunities she never could have imagined. It’s proof that God wasn’t playing around when he inspired Paul to write Ephesians 3:20. It is “immeasurably more” than she could have asked or imagined.
In addition to her blog, Melanie writes a quarterly column for the popular online magazine Praise and Coffee, is a regular contributor to the Pioneer Woman’s blog, and serves as co-administrator and writer for LifeWay Women’s AllAccess blog. She also serves as emcee for LifeWay’s annual DotMom event and participates in Compassion International’s blogger initiative.
A graduate of Texas A&M University and a former pharmaceutical rep, Melanie loves writing, shopping at Target, looking to see what’s on sale at Anthropologie, and encouraging other moms in a humorous yet relatable way at theBigMamaBlog.com.
Most of all, she loves being the mother of Caroline and the wife of her husband, Perry. The three of them live in San Antonio, Texas, with their two elderly dogs. She also believes she owes a debt of gratitude to Mrs. Rice for making her read that story out loud all those years ago.
Sparkly Green Earrings Page 17