by London Casey
I took my gloves off and threw them out. “What’s your favorite rose, darlin’?”
“Whatever one I’m lucky enough to get,” she said with a grin.
I touched her chin and winked. “Darlin’, I’d buy you a hundred roses to see you smile.”
Her face flushed. Those doe eyes were suddenly melting with lust.
“I drove two hours to come here,” she said.
“Stick around and wait until I’m done here. We can keep sharing stories.”
“You didn’t tell me a story,” she flirted.
I grinned. “Darlin’, I tell stories with my hands. My tongue. My body.”
I swore I could hear her dripping.
She would have been great in bed, but I knew it wasn’t going to happen. Mostly because I wasn’t going to pursue it.
She scrambled to come up with some excuse. I wasn’t buying it. I walked her to the counter where she paid and threw down a large gratuity for me. I took half of it and slid it back.
“Save it for gas,” I said. “Next time you need someone to hear a story. And if you ever want to feel one of mine.”
Mandy left St. Skin blushing.
Danny looked at me in awe. “How do you do it?”
“Simple. I got over myself the second I stood on stage in front of forty-thousand screaming fans.” I grabbed Danny’s shoulder. “And I have a really big dick. You can’t have a bad day ever when you have a really big dick.”
“Shit,” Danny said.
I laughed and walked away.
I cleaned up my work area and went to Tate’s office.
He looked at me from his desk, like a viper snake ready to kill.
“What?” he asked.
“Another happy customer just left,” I said. “I’m free for the rest of the day.”
“You want to leave? Sleep off the rest of your night?”
“You missed a good one,” I said. “Might do it again tonight.”
“You fuck up once, Cass, and you’re out.”
“Good thing I never fuck up,” I said.
“Cocky prick,” Tate said. He started to click his mouse. “Hey, we’re doing really good lately. Keep the pictures and shit going. Your video of jacking up that asshole went a little viral too. I thought it was going to hurt us.”
“See, I can’t go wrong. Ever.”
“Get out,” Tate said. He stood up. “I have real work to do here.”
He flashed a quick smile and I was done for the day. That meant I could hit the open road on my motorcycle and clear my mind. Then I’d come back into town and find somewhere to settle up and drink. Chasing down time and wasting it all away.
No better way to live when demons were tailing you.
I got to the backdoor when I heard Danny calling for me.
I looked over my shoulder. “If it’s a fucking walk-in, I won’t touch it. I’m checked out.”
“Uh, yeah,” Danny said. “There’s some woman here to see you … she said it’s really important—an emergency.”
Diem
HOURS AGO
The official email came through. Tim decided not to go with my proposal. It was all corporate-speak nonsense stuff, telling me my work was great but did not meet the fit or the true image of what he wanted to accomplish with his current venture. The email ended with a so-called personalized thank you, and a hopeful note that we’d get a chance to work together in the future.
I was on the couch and tossed my phone to the table. My day had been spent resting when Paisley was resting. It had been a tough couple nights but two teeth cut through. The craziest thing was the hours spent awake—the hours spent thinking about how my life had taken such a sudden turn, the hours wondering if I was doing anything right with the baby, the hours of mentally pleading with Paisley, and the hours spent crying when she wasn’t looking—they all meant nothing the second I saw the little nub of a white tooth.
The little girl had fought through the pain and won. A second tooth came shortly after. Since then, her fever had been down and her freak-out episodes were few and far between. In fact, she was sleeping right on my chest, where she’d been for almost an hour. Every few minutes I’d touch her back and feel her breathing. There was nothing quite like that feeling. It made me smile. It made my heart race. It made me think about my lawyer, Jason.
“You need to figure out what you want here, Diem. I know the decision is big and the pressure is quite a bit. But I can only hold things off for so long. Don’t get me wrong, you’re doing an amazing job right now. Eventually things have to move forward. Whether you want this to be a permanent situation or not.”
I shut my eyes and put both hands to Paisley’s tiny body.
What kind of statement was that to bear? What did I want?
I felt like my mind changed by the hour. One thing I knew for sure, before I talked to Jason again and have exactly what I wanted, Paisley had to meet her—
The doorbell rang.
Paisley’s little body jumped.
I bit my lip and was able to sit up and stand up without waking the baby. I hurried to the door and with one hand I slowly opened it.
“Hey, Diem.”
I was shocked.
It was Susie … just what I needed—more bad news.
“Do you want some coffee?” I asked.
“Sure,” Susie said.
I stood in the kitchen and made some coffee. I kept my back to Susie, preparing myself to take whatever blow was coming next.
The house stood in silence as the coffee dripped. That wonderful smell climbed up my nose and wrapped tight around my brain like a blanket. Coffee had been my best friend through the beginning of this teething process. I didn’t get a chance to spend nine months wondering, worrying, and reading baby books. Most of the time it was me holding Paisley with one arm and holding my phone with the other as I researched stuff online.
Mother of the year.
Better yet … Standin mother of the year.
I poured two cups of coffee and walked them to the table. Next came sugar and creamer. I stood while Susie sat. I gripped the back of the chair. She carefully prepared her coffee before she raised it to her lips. She blew, sipped, blew, sipped.
“Good,” she said. “Thank you, Diem.”
“You’re welcome.”
“How is Paisley? With her teething?”
I opened my mouth, ready to answer the question. Then I hesitated. I shook my head. “You know what? I’m running on almost no sleep here. I’m scrambling to understand what the hell I’m doing. I got officially rejected today from a job that would have been a really big deal for me. So if you’re here to terminate our relationship, then just say it. Just do it. I don’t need to hear anything else. No excuses. No policies. Just say it, Susie. Okay?”
“Will you please sit at least?” Susie asked.
I pulled out a chair and plopped down. I put my right hand to my forehead. I couldn’t stop thinking about him. About Cass. About Paisley’s father. It had been eating me alive.
Susie touched my wrist. “Diem. Look at me.”
I looked at Susie.
“I’m here to check on you,” she said in her soothing voice. “I’m here to apologize. What happened the other day between us, that was wrong. That got out of hand so fast. And I blame myself.”
“No,” I said. “You can’t do that. That was my fault, Susie.” I sighed. “I just have so much …”
“I know,” Susie said. “I should have been more sympathetic to that. Going forward, we’ll make sure you and I have better communication, okay? Yes, I run a daycare. Yes, I have rules I have to follow. Yes, I have rules everyone else has to follow. But what you’re doing right now—it’s amazing. Taking that life into your hands. I can’t even imagine what you’re going through.” Susie grabbed my hand and squeezed it. “And I want to be here to help.”
“Thank you,” I said. “I wasn’t really expecting that. My day hasn’t been going so great.”
“I’m sorry. Some days ar
e like that.”
“To answer your question, Paisley cut two teeth. Finally. She’s been resting and her fever has gone down. Which is great. I’m trying to …”
“What?”
“There’s a lot of legal stuff hanging in the background here,” I said. “I don’t know how to say this without making Paisley’s mother sound bad. Paisley was the result of a one night stand.”
“That happens,” Susie said. “I’m not here to judge.”
“Scarlett always knew who the father was but never told anyone. But I know who it is, too. I know where he is. And I can’t help but want him to know the truth.”
Susie nodded. “You want to wear that burden?”
“It’s better than knowing the truth and not sharing it. What happens when Paisley gets older? I have so much to tell her. So many tears she’s going to have to shed. The last thing I want is to then tell her I had a chance to find her father but didn’t do it. Truthfully, Scarlett was a wild girl. From the day I met her. And she was stubborn. So I don’t know why she refused to go to him.”
“See, right there, that’s why you’re a great mother.”
“I’m not a mother, Susie.”
“Oh, you’re a mother. You’re putting that baby before you in every way possible. That’s what a mother does.”
“So what do you think I should do?”
“I can’t answer that,” Susie said. “That’s up to you. Those are the hardest decisions to make. I don’t have to run down a list of pros and cons with you, Diem. I know you’re smart enough to do that on your own. Personally, I just feel like I should have done more for you. And should do more for you. Not for money. But for friendship. That’s why I came here today. To apologize and check on you. To see if there’s anything I can do to help you.”
I opened my mouth and Susie put her hand up.
“And I wanted to apologize for what Danielle did. She’s a bitch.”
My eyes popped open. “Oh?”
“Tensions were high and she had no right to bring up money to you like that. She thinks she’s some vicious businesswoman like you see on TV.”
“I was behind on payment—”
“And I know you would never do that on purpose,” Susie said. “If anything, everyone should have cooled off and dealt with that later. I don’t see dollar signs for what I do. I see family.”
“Okay, fine. Danielle was a bitch.”
“Is a bitch,” Susie said and winked.
I smiled and felt relieved.
But that relief didn’t last all that long.
“Your head is working,” Susie said.
“Yeah, it is.”
“Talk to me about it.”
“Do you want to babysit Paisley?”
“Of course,” Susie said. “When? Where? How long?”
“I need to go see him, Susie.”
“See who?”
“I need to see Paisley’s father.”
Diem
NOW
It wasn’t hard to find Cass. He worked at St. Skin and the tattoo shop wasn’t shy about itself. Which was probably a good thing since it was a business and needed customers to stay alive. The only risk I ran was showing up and Cass not being there.
Guess what happened?
I stood at the counter as a clean cut young man looked back at me.
“I think Cass just left,” he said.
“Shit. Can you check? I drove a while to get here.”
“Most do,” he said.
“He’s that good?”
“One of the best,” the man said. “If I was going to get ink, I’d get it from him.”
“Can you please check if he’s here? It’s sort of an emergency.”
“Yeah, sure,” the guy said. “Come with me. You can wait in his office.”
Office?
The office was a room filled with pictures of tattoos, drawings, a chair where the work was done, tattooing supplies, and the back wall was full of guitars. The walls came up about three-quarters of the way to the ceiling and stopped. It allowed the sound of the rest of the place to flow through. The smell was very clean. I stepped toward the guitars and had a feeling. A strange feeling inside me. Something like an obsession had been kicked up to find Cass. To meet him and get his side of the story. Of course, I had to drop some heavy news on him too.
I spotted a drawing tacked on the wall. It was more or less scribbles, but the lines were beautiful. It looked like a house but none of the lines ever connected. A house with some grass and some trees in the background. A house that could have been any house on any street. Yet it spoke to me for some reason.
I caught myself reaching for the drawing.
That’s when I heard his voice for the first time ever.
“You need something?”
I jumped and turned.
It was Cass. Just like the pictures online. Except in person it was so very different. The color of his eyes. Those dark and brooding eyes. He filled the doorway and looked a hundred feet tall. His arms filled his t-shirt with ease. He had ink all over both his arms. Even with the tattoos I could see the definition of muscle. Just muscle built everywhere. His face was cut like someone had taken to it with a chisel. The scruff on his face was just enough to make my fingertips tingle.
My stomach twisted and turned as my heart pounded. My mouth was dry. I was blinking fast, really trying to understand what was happening. I shouldn’t have been the one so nervous. It should have been Cass. I had nothing to lose. He had everything to gain.
“Darlin’, I don’t have time for games,” he said. “I’ve got to get going here. What’s going on?”
“You’re Cass,” I said.
I felt like smacking my forehead.
“Yeah. I’m Cass. Am I in trouble or something?”
“I don’t think so,” I said and grinned.
“You here for a tattoo?”
“No. Well …” I looked to my right. At the drawing. “I like this drawing.”
“Is this a joke?” Cass asked. “Did Tate tell you to come in here and fuck with me?”
“Who?”
“Okay, darlin’, you have a great day here. I’m done today. If you want some ink, then make an appointment.”
“I drove from an hour away,” I said as I lunged at him.
My feet kept moving and I grabbed for his arm. Next thing I knew my right hand was attached to his inked flesh. Just below his elbow. He was caked with muscle, even relaxed. He didn’t turn to face me either. Just turned his head and looked right at me. Well, down at me.
There was something powerful in his eyes. My thoughts were rampant. I instantly wanted him. The man I had drawn pictures of with Scarlett’s stories were nothing of what I stared at right then. This man—I just simply wanted him.
“Darlin’, people drive far more than an hour away to come see me,” he said. “They usually make an appointment or have a really good reason why they’re in my shop, in my room, in my damn way.”
There was this wave inside me. It had been slowly building since the moment I got the phone call that Scarlett had died. How I had been standing there looking down into a playpen at a sleeping Paisley, knowing my life was forever changed. That wave was now cresting and it was perhaps the worst time. The flood of memories and emotions got to me.
So I blurted out one thing. Maybe the worst thing ever.
“Scarlett!” I yelled.
Cass’s face dropped. “What did you say?”
“Scarlett. I’m Scarlett’s friend. My name is Diem. I need to talk to you.”
Cass shook my grip away. I saw the look in his eyes. He was hurt. By her. This big and buff man was showing a slightly frayed edge just by saying Scarlett’s name. How was he going to take the news that she gave birth to his daughter?
“I have nothing to say to you,” Cass growled. “You drove an hour to say that name to me? A one night stand. Please. What the fuck do you really want?”
Panic set in. Fight or flight took cont
rol and my wings spread wide.
“Nothing,” I said. “Just nothing.” I pushed by him, my body rubbing against his. I smelled his clothes, skin, cologne. Fuck, he was delicious. “Sorry I came here.”
Every sense of reason and right to contact Paisley’s father suddenly seemed so wrong. I should have called him. I should have approached with more caution. I should have gotten the legal system involved. Wait, no. They’d take Paisley from me and give her to him.
Cass looked hurt but angry as I looked over my shoulder at him. He stood in the hallway of the tattoo shop like the bad guy in a horror movie, sizing up his future prey.
I looked at the counter and saw the guy who helped me standing behind it.
“Thanks for your help,” I said.
“Yeah, sure.”
I was out the door and racing to my car.
I was parked down at the corner.
Sitting behind the wheel I lowered my head, ready to cry.
What do I do now?
A knock against the window made me jump and yell.
It was Cass.
I put the window down and watched as this sexy God of a man stood there, staring down at me again.
“What the hell is this? You trying to track me down?”
“I’m sorry. I just—”
“I don’t know what this is, but I don’t like it.”
“I’m sorry I came here,” I said. “I just—I thought I had something to tell you. I guess not.”
“You guess not?”
“I have to go,” I said. “Right now.”
My eyes locked to Cass’s again. I was pleading with him. I was holding the biggest secret of his life (or so I thought). I was holding his future, his fate, everything.
And I was going to run away from it all.
“Tell you what, darlin’,” he said. “You’re full of shit. I see it in your eyes. You want to fuck with me today? Fine. I don’t know if you’re some reporter looking to dig up my past. I don’t care. I have nothing to be ashamed of. So I’ll tell you what. Tonight around eight I’ll be at Little Mikey’s. Okay? Feel free to drop by when you get your tongue back from the cat. And you find your spine.”
Cass pushed away from my car and walked away.
I was in complete shock.
I held the wheel tight and stared at him as he strutted around the front of my car and down the sidewalk. He oozed with everything bad. Everything a good mother would tell their daughter to stay away from was the man my eyes were locked on. The man my best friend said she fell in love with. The man my best friend had a baby with.