by Leta Blake
Urho knew he was risking rather a lot here, but Caleb was right: he hadn’t felt so alive in years.
“What happened to your face?” Jason asked Xan casually, but with a sideways glance at Urho.
“Bar fight. The usual,” Xan said dismissively, waving it away.
Caleb hummed under his breath and took another swallow of his orange juice, sending challenging looks Jason’s way.
“You get in a lot of bar fights for someone who doesn’t go to bars that often.”
“True.” Xan took a bite of oatmeal and closed his eyes tiredly.
Jason flicked a glance at Urho, who tried to appear reassuring. Caleb smiled and finished up his orange juice.
The topic was dropped.
Breakfast proceeded as it normally would at that point with jokes, discussion of the move to Virona, and no further heavy conversation between them. As they broke up, beta servants came in to escort Jason and Urho out. Xan’s only concession to what had passed between them being a tersely stated reminder addressed to Urho that he left for Virona on Sunday, and a significant gaze. Urho had nodded in return.
It was only as they reached the sidewalk in front of Xan’s home that Jason returned to the topic of his original reason for visiting.
“Urho, do I have your word that whatever madness you brought to me yesterday is finished? That Xan is safe and I don’t need to worry about him being hurt?”
“I can’t promise that,” Urho said, opening the front gate for Jason and glancing back at the house behind him. “I made him an offer to act as his surrogate—” his lover, his heart hissed, “—and he accepted it. I’ll obviously hold up my end of the bargain, but I can only say that he’s promised to hold up his. Time will tell if he actually does.”
“So whatever man he was seeing, the man that you believed was unsafe? That’s in the past now? It’s over?”
“He gave his word.”
Jason groaned. “I guess that’ll have to be good enough. It helps that he’s going to Virona. I take it the man lives here?”
“Yes.”
“And his father found out about him?”
“I’m not sure about that, but there seem to be rumors that his father can’t deny or ignore. Rumors that imply something not entirely according to protocol is happening.”
“And you still aren’t going to tell me who he is?”
Urho snorted. “If I knew myself, the animal wouldn’t still be breathing.”
Jason nodded, slowly trailing his gaze up and down Urho’s body. “Just remember what I said about your feelings, Urho. You can say words like ‘surrogate’ all you want, but you sound more like an alpha protecting his omega to me.”
Urho swallowed thickly.
“Hey, that’s all right. In fact, that’s what Xan needs.” Jason put his hand on Urho’s shoulder and squeezed. “Don’t let your hang-ups and fears prevent you from giving him that.”
“You’re a mouthy pup.”
“Not half as mouthy as Xan can be,” Jason said. “But you like that about him, so you probably like it in me too.”
Urho cuffed Jason’s shoulder and they parted ways, hustling toward their respective cars. “I’ll be by later to check on Vale,” he said. “I’ll phone if there’s a problem, but there won’t be.”
“Thank you,” Jason called out from across the street. “For taking care of Vale, for helping with Xan, and for everything.”
Urho hoped Jason’s gratitude wasn’t unfounded. After all, Xan was leaving town on Sunday, they hadn’t made firm plans to see each other in the interim, and promises made in the heat of the moment always felt less solid in the light of day.
He supposed it was the same as any aspect of life. There were no guarantees. He’d learned that early on with Riki.
He turned to his car and opened the door, climbing inside and starting away from Xan and Caleb’s house.
Only time would tell.
CHAPTER TEN
Xan paced by the train, his heart in his throat. He hadn’t seen Urho in person since the morning after their night together. They’d spoken on the phone twice briefly, but neither of their schedules had permitted them to meet.
Urho had been called out to Sullen District to deal with an omega seemingly pregnant with twins—a dangerous aberration that would need to be handled carefully. And Xan had been taxed with up-ending his household, and the lives of his beta servants who’d chosen to come along, to make it to Virona by his father’s deadline.
Still, Urho had promised to be at the train station to see him off. Even if they couldn’t do more than hug manfully, it was important to Xan to see his new lover’s face one last time before they were separated for who knew how long. He needed to be sure he hadn’t hallucinated the promises between them, or Urho’s commitment to them.
“He’ll be here,” Caleb said, fixing the emerald circle pin on his collar, a fashion that declared him a bonded omega. They were only bonded in friendship, but in public Caleb always wore a showy pin anyway to deter attention. His beauty tended to attract more of that than he desired, and Xan, being a small alpha, didn’t always run off other men by his presence alone.
“What if he changed his mind?”
“He hasn’t.”
“How do you know? He’s risking a lot! And for what?”
“For you.”
Xan rolled his eyes. “Oh, what a prize!”
Caleb pulled up his silvery cowl scarf over his hair in the nippy autumn wind. “Indeed,” he said earnestly, as though Xan hadn’t spoken with cutting sarcasm.
Then Xan spotted him. Broad shoulders in a well-fitted trench coat, a grey fedora on his head, and a serious set to his face. Xan’s insides turned to mush. His heart quickened, and he sucked in a hard breath full of hope.
“Hi,” he mumbled nervously when Urho was close enough to hear. “I didn’t know if you’d make it.”
Urho’s smile was white against his dark skin. “Seeing you off safely is my first priority today.”
Xan swallowed hard, examining Urho’s eyes for some sense of what the man was feeling. “Do you think you’ll be able to visit? Like we discussed?”
Urho reached for his shoulder and clasped it warmly, gazing down into his face. “Nothing would give me greater pleasure, but I’m afraid I can’t promise to come by any particular date. Between the twins in Sullen and Vale’s delicate state, I might not be able to get free for a full day and night.”
“Three hours on the train to Virona and back is far,” Xan agreed, his heart sinking. “If there was a problem with Vale or the omega pregnant with twins, you wouldn’t be able to get home in time.” He said it aloud so Urho wouldn’t have to, and so Xan wouldn’t feel like Urho was just making excuses.
“Is there a chance we could meet halfway?” Urho asked.
Xan’s clenched stomach loosened. “I need to see what my father has planned for me in setting up the satellite office, but surely the weekends will be free?”
“Caleb wouldn’t miss you if you came to meet me?”
Caleb smiled and answered, “I’ll be far too busy setting up my new print studio and planning the upcoming Autumn Nights feasts to miss Xan for part of a day—or more. In fact, I’d be happy to spare him so the two of you can renew your commitments.”
Urho licked his lips, a flash of embarrassment in his eyes. “There’s a wonderful little apartment I sometimes rent by the canal in Montrew. No one would be the wiser if we spent some happy hours there together.”
Xan grinned, his stomach flipping with excitement and his throat tight with longing. He wanted to be with Urho now, to throw his arms around him and kiss him goodbye like so many bonded and beta couples were doing all around him on the platform.
A whistle blew and a conductor shouted, “All aboard for Virona!” Xan smiled sadly at Urho and took his hand in a firm handshake. Urho jerked him in close and wrapped him up in a strong hug. He patted his back in a fatherly way, likely to remove any suspicions from onlookers’ minds. “
Remember your promise to me,” he whispered fiercely in Xan’s ear.
“I haven’t forgotten.”
“Promise again,” Urho said, pulling back enough to not draw attention, but lingering close enough so that he could whisper.
“Are you serious?”
“Yes. I want to hear it. What’s mine?”
“Me?”
“And specifically?”
Xan swallowed hard. “My ass.”
“Promise it.”
“On wolf-god’s own salvation, I promise my ass belongs to you,” Xan murmured, his neck flushing.
“And your mouth too,” Urho said sharply.
Caleb laughed quietly next to them, but Xan ignored him, and so did Urho. They stared intently at each other, the rest of the platform fading away.
“My mouth is yours too,” Xan murmured breathlessly.
Urho nodded and ducked his head as though about to capture Xan’s trembling mouth with his own. But Caleb slipped between them, embracing Urho hard and laughing. “Wolf-god, you’ll get us all arrested if you don’t control yourself.”
Urho hugged Caleb back before stuffing his hands in his pockets. He cleared his throat and nodded as Caleb and Xan gathered up their small bags for the private compartment. Xan held his gaze as long as he could before turning to climb onto the train. By the time he’d settled his belongings, gotten comfortable in his seat, and turned to look out the window, Urho had left the platform.
“He didn’t stay to watch us go,” he said to Caleb, who was sorting through a large bag, apparently looking for the stick of gloss he used on his lips, which he pulled out.
“He probably had to go to the bathroom to deal with the pressing problem of his hard dick,” Caleb said nonchalantly, smoothing a balm over his mouth. He handed it to Xan. “Put some on, darling. The train compartment is always so dehydrating.”
Xan complied, his own dick not entirely soft either after the exchange of promises. “We didn’t make plans to talk while we’re apart.”
“The house will have a phone, surely. You know how to use it.”
“But what if he doesn’t expect to hear from me? What if he doesn’t want me harassing him?”
Caleb tossed the lip balm back into his bag and stared at Xan with a raised brow and impatience creasing his face.
“What?”
“He made you promise absolutely filthy things just now and you think he doesn’t want to hear from you? Xan, my love, you are ridiculous.”
Xan laughed nervously, his stomach fluttering and his skin prickling all over. “I just wish I didn’t have to leave. Things had only just started with us. What if he forgets about me?”
“Don’t let him.” Caleb pulled a small book from his bag.
“Maybe I should send him flowers.”
Caleb snickered softly. “Oh, yes, please do.”
“What’s funny?”
“You. Trying to court him like an alpha courts omegas.” Caleb opened the book and thumbed through the first pages, as though looking for his place.
“Should I not? How do omegas court alphas?” He tried to think of what he’d seen Vale do, or Caleb, when they wanted to show their affection. He drew a blank. “Should I court him like an omega instead?”
“Court him like you, Xan.” Caleb sighed fondly. “You got him where you wanted him by being yourself. Don’t stop now.”
Xan slumped in the seat as the train lurched forward. “Where I want him is next to me.”
Caleb sighed. “Alas, you have me instead.”
“That’s not what I meant.”
“I know. I’m teasing.” Caleb rested his head on Xan’s shoulder and kissed his jaw. “Darling, you’re exhausted and exhausting. Let’s rest on this train ride, all right? Because we’ll have so much work to do setting up house as soon as we get to Virona. Try to calm your mind.”
“I’m sorry.”
“It’s new. Of course you’re concerned. But, never fear. Your alpha is still committed to you.” Caleb straightened, cracking open his book again. “Now’s the moment to allow time and distance to do the work of making him frantic to see you.”
“So I shouldn’t court him then?”
“Oh definitely court him. That would be too fun to miss.”
Xan rolled his eyes, but in the back of his mind made note to call a florist when he could. He’d have a beautiful bouquet delivered to Urho at his home. He wanted to make sure Urho didn’t forget him, and most of all he needed to make sure Urho understood that Xan’s intentions toward him weren’t purely sexual.
His gut tensed.
What if sex was all Urho wanted from him, though? He squirmed. Everything was so tentative. The offer Urho had made was for one thing only, but his behavior implied another. It would be foolish to trust in it, surely.
“Here,” Caleb said, passing over another book from his bag. “Read. It’ll get your mind off things.”
Xan sighed when he looked at the title. It was a book of Vale’s poetry. “What else do you have in your bag? A puppy?”
Caleb laughed and flipped the page of his book. Over his shoulder, Xan saw that it was also poetry.
With a groan, Xan stared unseeingly at the opening stanza of the first poem for a few minutes. Then he snapped the book shut, flopped back in his seat, and stared out the window. He wished he had the book Urho had given him, but he’d packed it up in a box he’d sent ahead with Ren and the servants.
The fields outside flashed by in grays, browns, greens, and the occasional splash of red or purple from early turning leaves or late blooming wildflowers.
Caleb patted his knee gently, but continued to puruse his book of poetry.
“How do you know about relationships and courting?” Xan asked, sitting up straight again. “It’s not like I’ve ever been very good at that stuff with you.” Or vice versa, for that matter, but he wasn’t about to say that.
“You forget I was highly sought after for several years.” Caleb smiled gently. “Until I turned down so many offers to contract that rumors began. And you forget that I do have omega friends. We talk, you realize. Trade stories. I have little to offer of my own, of course, so I mainly listen. When I was younger, courting was all anyone ever talked about.”
Xan took his hand and stroked the palm lovingly, tracing the lines. “You’re not exactly old.”
“Of course not, but now all my omega friends want to talk about is babies.” His voice went wistful. “My dear friend Tad from school is due any day now. Did I tell you?”
Xan shook his head. Caleb rarely talked about his days at Mount Juror and even more rarely of his friends from school.
“Yes, Tad is excited. His third child.” Caleb frowned, removed his hand from Xan’s, and went back to his book.
“We’ll have a child,” Xan said softly. “I promise.”
“Of course.”
Xan studied the side of Caleb’s face, admiring his strong, high cheekbones, fluttery gold lashes, and soft lips. “We should invite some of your friends to stay with us in Virona. Probably not Tad until he’s delivered, but any of your other friends you miss. It’s a big house and the sea is beautiful any time of the year.”
Caleb dropped his head to Xan’s shoulder again. “I do love you, dear. You try so hard to make me happy and I couldn’t ask for more.”
Xan dropped a kiss to Caleb’s hair before closing his eyes and letting the rocking of the train send him off into a dream. In it Urho held a fat baby by the sea, water splashing around his legs, and Caleb stood by him cooing, both of them lit by the light of a pale, wintery sun.
Xan woke several hours later with anxious hope thriving in his heart.
The house rose up high above the town of Virona. It’s size and aging grandeur promised more space than either Caleb or Xan could hope to fill with children in their lifetime.
They stood beside the rather ordinary car they had rented at the railway station and stared up at the pale marble facade of the house, which appeared blue-ish be
neath the overcast sky.
Wide, tall columns reached up to a flat, red barrel-tiled roof that had faded out to orange. Expansive arched windows mirrored even more gray sky, broken only by reflected glint of the colorful town below. The front entrance consisted of broad, imposing marble steps leading up two large, dull bronze doors. Both were currently shut and without doormen to open them.
The house was beautiful, but in its neglected state, it felt cold. Nothing about it reached out to welcome them. It was a hard, barren womb.
“It looks haunted,” Caleb said, tilting his head and studying their new residence gravely.
“It’s just the gray day,” Xan murmured reassuringly, tucking his arm around Caleb’s back. “The oppressive clouds and the storm blowing in off the shore are playing with our imaginations.”
“Hmm. Regardless, the view is lovely. It’ll be even more so on a sunny day, I’m sure.”
Xan took it all in. The house was built at the top of a hill that sloped down to the dunes behind the house and then farther to the smooth expanse of private beach that gave way to the white-capped gray-green of the ocean.
It was a home designed for a powerful person, someone like the first Lofton to own it, who had been grandfather to Xan’s pater, George. Flagler Lofton had presided over the town and controlled it with an iron fist, leaving his omega in charge of the estate, which they filled with children. Flagler Lofton had been the kind of alpha Xan’s father had wanted in a son.
Too bad Xan couldn’t imagine being that kind of person.
“It’s so…white.” Caleb whispered, as though still worried about ghosts.
“That’s the first I’ve ever heard you imply something was too white.”
Caleb smiled and fiddled with his silvery cowl again. “It’s intimidating.”
Xan knew what he meant. Even in their home in the city, there were signs of life. It was homey there, with warm fires roaring and rooms Caleb had decorated to his taste. This was a giant architectural echo of the once proud Lofton family and currently neither of them felt up to owning it.