by Leta Blake
Urho glanced to Vale, who nodded absently. He was indeed staring down at his stomach. Urho almost laughed. Yes, Vale’s days would continue much the same until the babe arrived—a walk on the beach, a morning nap, a lunch on the veranda if the day was nice, another walk on the beach, another nap. Urho didn’t resent it in the least. Every omega deserved to feel safe and pampered during pregnancy. He would want the same for Caleb when the time came. He couldn’t wait to see the man round with Xan’s child.
Wolf-god, Caleb…
Urho didn’t know what to make of Xan’s omega’s devotion to Janus’s health or the conversation he’d overheard. He’d suspected Caleb did still harbor feelings of some kind for Janus, but the evidence of it stung him considering how awful Janus had been to Xan, so it must sting Xan as well.
Certainly Xan and Caleb weren’t lovers like other alpha-omega pairs, but they were family, and Xan loved Caleb deeply. And while it would be petty to harbor jealousy when Caleb was so generous with Xan’s feelings toward Urho, it was only natural that an alpha would feel proprietary urges toward his contracted omega.
Maybe if Urho had been given an opportunity to know Janus better, or Janus’s behavior when they did meet had let him like him more—or if Janus had never hurt Caleb and Xan in the past—then Urho might feel the man deserved Xan’s beautiful, kind omega’s devotion. As it was, he resented any feeling Caleb carried for Janus. Perhaps even more than Xan himself did.
Still, he was determined to let the feelings go. After Janus was recovered, they could deal with the situation then. Should Caleb want to leave Xan and go to Janus for good… Well, Xan would have to face that fact, and Urho would be there for him during the fallout.
Until such a point, Urho wouldn’t think on it further other than to feel proud that Caleb was such a loving, forgiving person, and so generous in his care of a sick man.
“I’ll go make a few calls,” Xan said. “Then I’ll leave on the afternoon train.”
With that settled, everyone went back to eating their breakfast. It wasn’t a cheerful party with everyone’s mind still obviously fixed on various worries and problems. When Jason’s plate was clean and Vale had been prodded into eating a few bites more, the two of them said they would retire to bed.
“You should take a nap as well before you go,” Urho said. “I’ll go check in on Janus. I’ll come join you later if I can.”
Xan nodded tiredly. “I’ll go make those calls.” He hesitated in the doorway, looking over his shoulder at them all. Urho’s heart ached in his chest. “Thank you,” Xan said softly. “For bullying me into the right thing.”
“We’re your friends. We want you to be happy,” Vale murmured.
“Go make your calls,” Urho said. “I’ll meet you upstairs in your room.”
Xan kept his shower short, too worried to enjoy lingering under the water for long. After he’d tugged on his silky, royal blue pajamas for the nap he’d promised Urho he’d take, he sat on his bed to brush his wet hair.
The sudden knock on the door made his pulse jump, and he called out for Urho to come in. But the head that popped through the door belonged to Caleb.
Dreadful. There was no other way to describe his appearance. He looked so pale in his white clothes. Gray smudges of worry darkened the fragile skin beneath his blue eyes. His chin-length blond hair was tousled and hung messily around his jawline.
“Hey,” Xan said softly. “C’mere.”
Caleb shut the door behind him and crept into the room as though ashamed and uncertain of his welcome.
When Xan stood and opened his arms wide, Caleb rushed into them with a soft sob. Xan kissed his hair and shushed him soothingly. They held each other for a long time before Caleb finally pulled free, wiping at his eyes. The dark smudges looked even darker.
“I’m sorry,” he whispered.
“For what, love?” Xan asked, though of course he knew.
“For lying to you about my feelings for Janus,” Caleb whispered, his chin wobbling. “I do love him. But not in the deep way I love you, and not in any romantic way. I never have. But I care for him more than I wanted to admit before. There was a time I would have contracted with him if he’d only wanted me enough. The real me.”
“I know. You’ve already said.”
“But I also said I didn’t care for him any longer.”
“No, if I recall correctly, you said you didn’t want to be his omega.” Xan’s mouth went dry. “Was that a lie?”
Caleb shook his head as tears spilled down his cheeks. He looked at Xan imploringly. “No, I want to be your omega.”
Xan led him to the bed and they sat on the side of it together. “That works out well, then, because you are my omega.”
“I want to have a family with you.”
“You can. You will.” Xan took his hands. “It’s okay to care for more than one man. I do.” He wasn’t in love with Caleb and he could never be. Now he knew that for sure since he had fallen for Urho and loved him with his heart, soul, and body. But he and Caleb still shared a deep bond.
“I know.” Caleb pulled a hand free to wipe at his tears. “I didn’t realize how much I still cared about that rat bastard until last night. Seeing him so sick… My heart broke again. And the last day could only have been more painful if it was you in quarantine, suffering like that. I can feel death in that room, Xan. I feel it.”
“Urho says there’s every chance he’ll recover.”
Caleb nodded. “I know. He told me the same. But my heart doesn’t think he will, Xan. In my heart…” He shivered.
“Don’t be superstitious.”
Caleb’s eyes flashed with hurt. “I’m being honest. Some part of me knows, deep down, he won’t survive this.”
“Janus is strong. Young, like us. He’ll make it.”
“I wish I was as certain as you.”
Xan said nothing, because Caleb was as certain as he was. He just didn’t believe Janus would survive. “If he lives, what will you do?”
Caleb shook his head. “Nothing. This changes nothing.”
“How can you say that? You care for the man.”
“Not the way he wants me to care for him,” Caleb said with a sad smile. “Or, rather wanted me to care for him a long time ago. I have no idea what he wants now.”
Xan touched Caleb’s wet cheek. “But you said your heart is broken by him.”
“Friends can break your heart, too, Xan,” Caleb whispered, tears welling again. “Just as badly, maybe sometimes worse than a lover. Because with a lover, from what I understand, you’re aware that it might not work out from the beginning, aren’t you? Unless you’re Erosgapé. With a friend, though, you don’t guard your heart.”
Xan brushed Caleb’s hair off his cheek. “He seems like he was more than a friend to you.”
“He almost was. He was my first hope. And my first loss. My only heartbreak.” Caleb shrugged. “Everyone suffers through it at least once. In some form or another. Just because my heartbreak isn’t romantic, doesn’t mean it’s not real.”
“Don’t give up. He’ll live and then you can find out if he cares for you too.”
Caleb sighed in a fast rush and shook his head, tears forming in his eyes again. “You aren’t listening.” He chewed his lip. “I don’t feel attraction for him, or romantic love. I know it’s hard for you to understand because you’re so different from me in these ways. My heartbreak isn’t because I want him.”
“I know.” Or he tried to know. Intellectually he understood, but some part of him could never fully grasp these truths when Caleb described them.
“I want you as my alpha, my best friend, my family.”
“I know,” Xan said again.
“So please don’t say that about Janus again.”
Xan nodded.
“I don’t want him. But I don’t want him to die.” Then Caleb nuzzled Xan’s neck and whispered, “Alpha mine, I love you. You’re my future, the father of my children to come, and my choice.”
Xan kissed Caleb’s head again. “I love you too. And it’s all right to be sad that someone you cared for, a friend, an old hope, is so sick. I understand. Let me hold you.”
Caleb rested in Xan’s arms, breathing in his scent and letting Xan stroke his back. They cuddled together on the bed, taking comfort from the familiar scents and sounds of the other, the rise and fall of breath, their mutual steadfastness.
Eventually Xan murmured in Caleb’s ear, “You need to rest. Take a break from looking in on Janus.”
“Ren has taken over for the afternoon. I’ll return to him tonight.” Caleb nuzzled him again, scenting him for a long time. “No one makes me feel as safe as you do, Xan.”
Tears pricked Xan’s eyes, and he squeezed Caleb tight. “You’re my omega. I’m your alpha. Of course I make you feel safe.”
Caleb made Xan feel safe too. Their brand of love and friendship was just as Caleb had claimed—without boundaries.
Caleb turned to go, but he stopped with his pale hand on the doorknob. “Ren tells me you’re leaving for the city this afternoon.”
“I have to leave. Pater and Ray are very sick.”
“Yes, you should go.” Caleb nodded, looking a little lost.
“Urho will be here with you. But if you don’t want me to leave while Janus is so ill, I can stay.”
Caleb shook his head. “Go. I’ll be all right here.” He left solemnly.
Xan was still staring at the wood grain of the door when Urho opened it several minutes later. He pulled Xan up into his strong arms, and Xan sighed as he leaned into Urho’s strength. It was Xan’s duty to Caleb as his alpha and friend to be there for him, but the sensation of being held by his own alpha was comforting and right in a way Xan relished.
“I wish I could go with you,” Urho said urgently. “I don’t like the idea of you in the city by yourself, with your pater sick, and your father…” he trailed off. “Will you be all right?”
Xan unbuttoned Urho’s shirt and rubbed his cheek against Urho’s chest. “I don’t know. I’m scared. I don’t want to lose my pater or my brother. Or my cousin.” He leaned back and looked into Urho’s eyes. “How bad is Janus? Caleb said some pretty morbid things just now.”
“He’s right to be frightened for Janus. He doesn’t seem to be responding to the prescriptions. Most of the time, the initial dose provides a great deal of relief within just a few hours. That hasn’t been the case. He’s deteriorated even more.”
Xan chewed on his lower lip. “Caleb cares for him. He needs to live.”
“Caleb has feelings for him? Sexual feelings?”
If Xan wasn’t mistaken, he heard a strange thread of jealousy in Urho’s voice. “Not sexual feelings, not attraction—no. Deep friendship feelings. Old ones that he thought long scarred over, but are now broken open again.”
“Wolf-god’s blessings on our Caleb,” Urho murmured, wrapping his arms around Xan. “He has such a strong heart, and he doesn’t deserve to suffer through this.”
“So you agree with him?”
“Doctors have instincts.” Urho kissed Xan’s temple soothingly. “And, unfortunately, my instincts and Caleb’s align. I’ll do what I can for Janus, and the local hospital has agreed to continue to provide drips and medicines. Only time will tell.”
“I hope you’re both wrong.”
“I do too.” Urho ran his fingers into Xan’s damp, tumbled curls. “When you’re in the city, promise me one thing.”
Xan gazed up at him. “Anything.”
“No matter what happens, don’t go to him.”
“Go to who?” Xan’s mind scrambled in confusion. Pater? Ray? Father? He didn’t know to whom Urho was referring with this strange request.
“That monster Monhundy.”
Xan gasped in horror. “No. I’d never. Not now. Not since we…no.” His throat clogged with unexpected tears. It hurt to think Urho believed he would betray him like that.
“I want to be sure you won’t go to him.”
“You think I would? After all you’ve shown me?”
Urho studied his face carefully. Whatever he saw there must have reassured him because he drew Xan even closer, kissing his eyelids and nose, kissing his mouth and his temples, before scenting along his neck and nuzzling him gently. “I’m sorry. Forgive me. I cherish you, and the thought of you in pain, of what he did to you before… It terrifies me.”
“I don’t want that anymore. I never will again. I want you. I want to be your omega. Even if…” Xan sighed.
Urho frowned. “What?”
“Even if that makes me weak. My father—”
“To wolf’s own hell with your father and what he thinks. You’re my omega, and that makes you strong.”
Xan’s mouth went dry. “Show me how strong I can be. Make me take it. Now.” He licked his lips, staring at Urho’s mouth. “Make me yours, Urho.”
“Demanding little pup,” Urho muttered. He quickly stripped Xan of his pajama top before shoving his hands into his silky pajama pants and clenching his buttocks firmly. “Get these off,” he said, shoving them down.
Xan’s cock filled fast, his asshole already gripping and releasing as he imagined the burning rush of penetration and the sweetness of a punishing fuck. “Make it rough. Make me feel it. On the train, I want to tighten my hole and still feel where you’ve been.”
Urho growled, his exposed nipples peaking. “Finish what you started.” He indicated his belt buckle and then removed his shirt, tossing it onto a nearby chair.
Xan got to work, his heart ramping up in excitement and his fingers going shaky. He slipped the tongue of Urho’s belt through the buckle, shivering at the rasping slide through the loops as he tugged it off. He placed it carefully on the bed, an idea sparking inside his tumultuous mind. He turned back to Urho, getting his pants open and dropping to his knees as he tugged them down.
Urho kicked off his shoes and stepped out of his pants, indicating with a jerk of his chin that Xan should put them on the chair as well. Xan did so, never getting up off his knees. His cock pressed against his stomach, pre-come slipping down the sides already, his balls riding high and tight. He greedily pressed his face to Urho’s groin, scenting his musk. Urho’s dick was thick and engorged, rising up alongside Xan’s cheek as he nuzzled the rough hair at the base.
Urho gripped Xan’s hair and tugged his face away. He released Xan and sat on the bed, spreading his legs and ordering, “Get over here, omega. Mouth open. Tongue out.”
Xan did as he was told, knee-walking between Urho’s thighs, his mouth open and his thirsty tongue out, ready to catch the pearl of pre-come that swelled at Urho’s slit.
“No sucking,” Urho said. “Lick me.” He gripped Xan’s hair again and dragged him in. The sharp tug of pain went straight to Xan’s cock, a zing of excitement that left him panting as he buried his face in Urho’s crotch, licking greedily at his sac and taint, sliding his tongue up and down his shaft, greedy for the pre-come that slipped down the side in regular pulses.
Xan’s cock begged for attention, and he put one hand on it, not moving it, as he worked. Urho rubbed his head, alternately soothing and tugging roughly on his hair, making him hiss.
“That’s my sweet omega, eager to please.”
Xan groaned. He loved being called an omega. It completed him like a hole being filled, almost as satisfying as his ass being plugged with Urho’s cock. Still, he wanted more, something harder—something that would leave reminders to cherish in the city.
He pulled away, sitting on his heels and wiping his mouth with the back of his hand. He met Urho’s eyes defiantly, a hint of challenge, and then reached for the belt he’d put on the bed. “I think you should remind your omega who’s in charge,” he whispered, letting the leather of the belt slip around his forearm, dragging cool and scary over his skin. “I might forget. In the city.” His breath came in short gasps. “So many handsome alphas. So many temptations.”
Urho’s nostrils flared. “Wh
o does your hole belong to?”
Xan groaned and handed the belt to Urho. “Remind me.”
Urho gripped Xan’s chin. “You want this?”
Xan nodded and gulped.
“If you say for me to stop, I’ll stop.”
Xan shivered. He wouldn’t ask Urho to quit. He wanted this like air. Marks on his ass. Evidence of possession. Urho’s marks. Urho’s ownership of his body and soul. His father and inheritance be damned. This was his place—at Urho’s feet, licking his balls and whining to be fucked.
“Get over here.” Urho gripped the back of Xan’s neck, dragging him close again.
Nestled between Urho’s legs, with Urho’s hard cock pressed against his cheek, he breathed in the scent of Urho’s body. Urho bent low, kissed Xan’s hair, murmured his love, and then pulled him roughly up into position. He wrapped one of his own legs over both of Xan’s to hold him firmly in place and pushed Xan’s body across his thigh, torso on the mattress, face in the sheets.
“Remember, if you say stop, I’ll stop.”
“Just do it!” Xan urged, sweat popping out as he struggled slightly against Urho’s hold. “Maybe you’re not sure who I belong to.” He spoke with a bratty edge. “Maybe you don’t know if I’m—” The sound of the belt in the air shut Xan up fast. He sucked in a breath and then grunted in pain, biting down on the sheets as a slash of heat sliced over his ass. “Fuck!” he cried when he could breathe again.
Urho wasn’t joking around. He’d laid the belt down hard. Sweat popped out all over Xan’s body as he panted. All thoughts of anything in the city, or anything outside of the moment were driven from his head.
“Who does your hole belong to?” Urho muttered.
Out of the corner of his eye, Xan saw Urho’s arm raise again. He whimpered, the word “you” caught in his throat. He groaned, “Show me.”
Urho let the belt fly and Xan shuddered, his legs pushing against Urho’s as the pain ripped through him, so harsh it rattled him inside and out. Another slap of the belt came, and then another. Xan was sweating and begging and not sure what he wanted now.
“Who does your hole belong to?” Urho asked again, his voice grim and firm.