Ben’s eyebrows lifted. “You’re asking me?”
Yeah, good point. Hansen groaned as he rubbed his hands through his hair and linked his fingers behind his head. “Things got complicated. I wanted easy.”
“Life doesn’t work that way.” Ben dropped the papers back on his desk and went around to his chair. But he didn’t follow up his comment with more.
“If that’s some sort of man-to-man wisdom . . .”
After a good deal of huffing and some get-your-shit-together glances, Ben leaned forward, balancing his elbows on his desk. “You don’t get to decide when and how you fall in love. It happens. It’s a spark. You get plowed under. You hope like hell you can keep the spark alive.”
“You sound like an expert.”
The phone rang and Ben reached to turn the volume down. “A long time ago.”
Hansen lowered the front legs of his chair back to the floor and dropped his arms. “You fell?”
Ben never talked about it but it made sense. He’d had a career in the military. Moving around sucked, but Ben would make it work. That was who he was. Solid and smart. He was the one person, before Tessa, who kept Hansen tied to the island.
They’d become friends almost immediately and at a time when Hansen didn’t want any. Ben insisted when he sat down next to him at the lodge and started talking. He didn’t make demands or ask about the past. He just let the friendship and who they were start from that point, which explained why Ben hadn’t shared this news flash before now.
“Got married. Got divorced.”
Okay, that was big. Not just an unrequited love thing or a crush. “Oh, shit.”
Ben stared at his hands while he talked. “I was barely out of my teens.”
“You’re, what, thirty-four or so now?”
“That’s close enough. Point is, we were too young.” Ben acted like it didn’t matter but his voice said otherwise. A sadness lingered there.
Maybe it was nostalgia, but Hansen wondered if the emotion loomed larger than that. “You’re older now. You never know.”
“Her husband, our former neighbor, by the way, and their son might mind. That’s the point. I was the wrong guy for her, but she found the right one. Not even that long after me. Right time. Right guy. Huge spark.”
She did. Hansen noticed Ben didn’t fill in the blanks about how he survived the whole breakup. “You’re not angry?”
“I spent a long time being upset for me, but I’ve always been happy for her.” Ben glanced to the side and didn’t say anything for a few seconds. “I’ll always love her, but I stopped being in love with her a very long time ago. She deserves to be happy. We all do.”
“That sounds healthy.”
Ben leaned back in his chair. “You should try it.”
That was nothing but an invitation to needless heartache as far as Hansen could see. Which reminded him of the one point he needed to clear up. “I didn’t use the word love.”
“I did.” Ben pointed at him. “About you.”
Time to divert and ignore. “Back to Judson.”
“Look at you wallowing in denial.”
Absolutely. Thinking about Tessa made his mind spin. It would be so easy to get caught up in her and the possibilities and forget how unfair it was to drag anyone into his mess.
“So, the murder.” It was a sad statement on his love life that he’d rather talk about death.
Ben’s amusement disappeared in a flash. “You didn’t kill him, unless you somehow figured out he was trying to set you up, tracked him down, killed him, then, for some odd reason, dumped him on Tessa’s lawn even though that choice pointed the spotlight right at you because you were at the house.”
“That sounds exhausting.”
Ben shifted in his chair for what felt like the hundredth time. “Kerrie was beaten up and tied to a wall, so she didn’t do it. Judson didn’t kill himself.”
“So, we have nothing.”
“You’re not in my cell tonight. Count that as a win.”
“Would you have arrested me?” It was more curiosity than anything else. Hansen didn’t view the answer as a loyalty test. He understood Ben had a job and an island to protect.
“Only if I thought you did it, which I don’t.”
Exactly as he expected. “You’re a practical guy.”
“Now, about Tessa.”
Hansen groaned. “You’re killing me.”
“That’s kind of my point. Someone on this island is a killer. Until we know who, I feel better knowing she’s with you than sleeping alone somewhere else. And her house is still out, so keep her with you. And, this is my real point, keep her close to you in general.”
That was his intention, but Ben had his full attention now. “She spends time with Sylvia. Do you think Berman’s Lodge isn’t safe?”
“It is, but we both know she’s the type to go around asking questions. If it weren’t for the unending rain over the last few days and people being on edge, she’d be out there.”
“True.” He could visualize it. The idea of her knocking on the wrong door. Of someone deciding the way to resolve the case was to drag her into it.
“Instead, she’s inside with you.” Ben looked as if he were biting back a smile. “Earning your trust . . . or whatever it is she’s doing there. Keep doing that.”
Hansen ignored the nosiness and repeated girlfriend talk, which she might be. Hansen didn’t know despite what he told Kerrie. But he was sure of one thing. “I’m not great with trust.”
“Are you good at listening?”
Not on this topic. “Doubtful.”
“Tessa is probably the best person on this island and for some reason she chose you.”
Hansen couldn’t circle back to the subject again. He never really escaped it. She stayed on his mind all the time now. Since the sex—touching her, kissing her—he ached to do it again. So, he didn’t need a reminder from his supposed best friend. “This is a very moving speech.”
“My suggestion?”
He hated to ask but did anyway. “Yeah?”
“Don’t fuck it up.”
HANSEN EXITED BEN’S private office with too many ideas swirling in his head. What he owed Tessa. How Kerrie attached herself to him. The way Ruthie wanted to go after him.
The women in his life were confusing the hell out of him.
“I hear that you and Tessa . . .”
At the sound of Arianna’s voice, Hansen looked up. He immediately regretted it. She sat there in one of her long dresses with her raincoat folded on the chair next to her in the reception area rather than on the coat hook. Because of course.
She smiled and . . . Wait, what had she said? “Excuse me?”
“Oh, it’s not a secret. You and Tessa.”
“Our relationship is private.”
“On Whitaker?”
Well, he had to agree with her there. For an island that prided itself on privacy and being the last resort for so many, people sure craved gossip. He was not one of them, except for the questions he had about Arianna right now. “What are you doing here?”
“Ben insisted I come without Ellis, so he’s getting coffee. Then it’s his turn.” She glanced at her nails, which were painted light blue. “Ben has talked to us, but I think this is the formal interrogation.”
“I already had my time. I’m thinking we’ll all be questioned eventually.” To the extent that made Ben’s life easier and eased Arianna’s mind, Hansen wanted her to know. “It’s a formality.”
With that done, he headed for the door, grabbing his coat as he went.
“Tessa doesn’t think so.”
That stopped him, but he guessed that was the point. “Why do you say that?”
“She’s the kind of person everyone trusts.” Arianna smiled as she examined the nails on her other hand. “Of course, in the movies those are the ones you need to watch.”
“This isn’t a movie.” The comment came out sharper than he intended, but it was out there now.
Ari
anna looked up. “Of course not. We all know Tessa is innocent. She’s not the suspicious type. I mean, she kind of is because she’s always digging around and asking questions, but she isn’t the one who draws suspicion. She quietly investigates and thinks we don’t know.”
Arianna bobbed her head and twirled her hands in the air as she spoke. It all looked casual, as if they were having a friendly chat. But Hansen knew better. This was a carefully calculated move. He just didn’t know why Arianna would take a shot or shine the light on Tessa. “Uh-huh.”
“I’m saying that’s why she’s so effective. Everyone likes her.” Arianna gestured in his direction. “Including you.”
“Right.” Knowing he wasn’t going to get the answer from her, Hansen filed the conversation away and shut it down. He had better places to be and only one person he wanted to talk with. “Enjoy your night.”
Chapter 16
Tessa killed a few hours doing some work. She wrote and revised the user manual for a rainwater recovery system. The topic interested her. The idea of being productive didn’t. But she needed something to keep her hands busy and her mind off Kerrie.
She’d been attacked by her own husband. Used. Forced to tell lies about Hansen. Tied up. And now she’d be expected to mourn that asshole Judson. Part of her probably did love him despite everything.
Tessa knew from experience how difficult it could be to separate what you wished could be from the reality of what was. Her history was nothing like Kerrie’s, but she felt a strange kinship.
She felt something else, too, and she feared it made her a pretty shitty person. She knew about the ties and the bruises. About Judson being awful. But something nagged at her. This uncomfortable sensation that Kerrie told part of the story but not all of it. If the scene in the clinic was a performance, then she was quite the actress. No, Tessa believed every word but she felt as if there was some question she should ask that would have cleared up the residual confusion.
What she really needed right now was a sweater. She’d only brought a few pieces of clothing over to Hansen’s place from her house. Thanks to the rain, she’d run through those pretty fast. Her jacket hung on the hook by the door. She’d draped her jeans over the back of a dining chair. She wore sweatpants and a slim-fitting T-shirt and needed more. This clearly called for a second raid on Hansen’s closet.
She tucked her pen behind her ear, abandoning all of her paperwork on the ottoman, and stepped into the closet area. He had a dresser upstairs, but this was where he kept the bulk of everything from extra napkins to towels to some clothes. Everything had a place and he kept it all neat and tidy. One set of shelves held the sweaters and sweatshirts. The few shirts he owned were lined up on the opposite wall with shoes on the floor beneath them.
She peeked in, thinking to count his sneakers because he seemed to have an endless supply. Each day he kicked off a soggy pair. The next morning he’d appear with a new pair.
She pushed the clothes to one side and smiled as his familiar scent hit her. All those soft plaid and denim shirts. He owned about twelve shirts and ten of them fell into that category. When she moved in for a closer look, her foot smacked against something hard and she glanced down. Looked like a safe of some sort.
The pen slid from behind her ear and bounced with a clink before disappearing into the darkness. She flicked on the light and sunk to her knees.
With her body half in and half out of the small space, she patted around with her hand. She almost screamed gotcha when her fingers grazed the tip of the pen.
“What are you doing?”
At the sound of his voice she squealed in surprise and smacked her shoulder off the closet wall. She dropped the pen, but it didn’t roll or bounce this time.
Spinning around, she landed on her butt on the hardwood floor and looked up at him. “You’re home.”
“Surprise,” he said in a flat, lifeless tone.
The severe frown. That voice. “What’s wrong?”
“You’re snooping.”
She rubbed her sore arm. “Sure, I’m . . .” Then she froze. “Wait, are you serious?”
He nodded toward the inside of the closet. “What are you looking for?”
A thin thread of anger played right there on the edge of his voice. She could hear it but she had no idea why he aimed it at her. “You think I’m going through your stuff?”
“Like you did with the medicine cabinet.”
For a second she didn’t know what he was talking about. Then she thought about the first night and the bathroom. “That was a joke.”
“Then tell me what you’re doing.” His frown didn’t ease and he held his body stiff. He couldn’t look less open to reason if he tried. “Hell, Tessa. I’ve told you everything. You know shit no one else on the island knows. All about Alexis.”
Okay, they’d taken a weird turn. Everything had been fine earlier. Kerrie cleared him. The board meeting was resolved without too much yelling. She laughed with him at lunch. Now this bullshit.
She stood up, forgetting all about the thumping in her arm and focused on him. And tried to get through this before he said something he couldn’t take back. “What happened to you tonight? You were fine when I last saw you, happy even, because the investigation against you was shut down. Now you’re—”
“What am I?”
The snap in his voice should have given him a clue. She drew a few conclusions from it. “Acting like an ass.”
“We’re back to that.” He glanced away for a second as he shook his head. When he faced her again, the old Hansen had returned. The one that held her away and was dismissive. “Tell me what you think you’re going to find while poking around in my private things. Be honest.”
“I am honest.”
“Says the woman who hasn’t told me one thing about her life. About the secret that dragged you to Whitaker.”
The force of his words nearly knocked her over. If he wanted to land a shot, he’d done it. That had been her plan for tonight. To fill him in. She knew about him and she wanted him to know about her. The things no one but she and her mother knew.
Forget sharing. Forget dinner. Right now she didn’t even want to be in the same room with him.
“I was looking for this.” She reached down and scooped up the pen. “I dropped it.”
“In the closet?” His tone suggested he thought she was lying.
“I wanted a shirt. Like before.” She swept her arm around the room. “Most of my clothes are wet.”
His expression changed. Showed a hint of confusion. “I don’t get it.”
“Apparently.” She pushed by him and left the closet. A quick look out the window showed the steady beat of rain had morphed into a serious downpour. It could be a blizzard out there and she would still leave.
She went to the ottoman and stacked her papers. Stacked them against the leather to make a trim pile, then held them up. “Want to look through these? It’s part of a manual. It’s what I do.”
“No, I don’t—”
“Whatever.” She scooped up her possessions and cradled them in her arms. She tried to remember where she’d thrown her bag. Her gaze landed on the ladder and the answer hit her—up there. No way was she going up those rungs.
She walked into the kitchen area. Slammed every cabinet door while he called her name. He could talk to himself for all she cared because she’d found the random paper bag she sought. That would work for now. She just needed to get the papers into her car and she could wrap them in her coat to make it happen. Who cared if she got wet.
“What are you doing?” he asked.
Talk about being clueless . . . “Leaving.”
“Where are you going to go?”
“Wherever you’re not.” She scurried around, collecting the few things she could find. She’d convince Ben to let her back into her house to replenish whatever else she needed and couldn’t borrow or buy.
Keys and coat. Everything else could wait or be replaced.
“Okay, shit. Stop.” He stepped in front of her before she could make a beeline for the door. “It’s been a shitty few days.”
“For both of us, Hansen.” She pivoted around him and grabbed her coat. “I was there when you found Judson’s body. I’ve been with you through all of it, and you go off on me?”
He held up both hands in mock surrender. “Let’s calm down.”
Now there was the wrong thing to say. “Don’t pull the hysterical-woman thing on me. You did this.”
“What?”
“I’m calm. Clear even.” She wrapped the stack in her arms in her rain jacket. Tucked everything in to keep it dry.
“What are you doing?”
She picked up the keys and reached for the doorknob. “Going to the lodge.”
“Because we had one fight?” He sounded stunned by the idea.
But he didn’t get it. She pulled for him, supported him, and he continued to see the worst. She was done. “Because you don’t trust me and, honestly, Hansen, I’ve earned it. So, this is on you.”
“What does that mean?”
“You want to strike out at someone? Pick another target.” She threw open the door and left. Kept going when he called her name. Didn’t stop until she pulled into the parking lot at the lodge. Then she closed her eyes and let the sadness overwhelm her. “The dumbass.”
SYLVIA DIDN’T ASK any questions. That made her the best kind of friend—the type with a good sense to know when not to talk. Now was not the right time. Tessa needed to fester and be pissed off. Later she’d think things through and figure out if she matched his over-the-top reaction with one of her own. Right now she felt secure in being pissed.
“We’re not the same size, but you don’t need to be anything but comfortable tonight and my roomier sweats will do that for you,” Sylvia said as she typed something into the computer behind the main check-in desk.
Some people, like Sylvia, lived in the lodge full-time. Others used it for guests and relatives. Every now and then the random tourist would stop in. Tessa bet she was the first one to stand in the lobby dripping wet, holding a stack of soggy paperwork.
“I forgot my wallet at Hansen’s house.” She just remembered that annoying fact. “If you don’t mind waiting until I can get it from him? I really don’t want to go back and ask now.”
Her Other Secret Page 15