by Mark Reece
The house was silent. He stood in the lounge, wanting to put on the MV to fill the vacuum but at the same time resisting. The thought occurred to him that anyone walking past could see him, and although strictly speaking he was not doing anything wrong, that prospect worried him. You can never know who’s an Ick or where they could be hiding. There could be one across the road and I wouldn’t know. They could have targeted the town for infiltration. He hurried around the house, closing all the blinds.
Soon, he was in the lounge again, staring blankly at the now covered patio door. It’s not surprising that I’ve gone mad in the last few days. I could have handled it better, but I could explain everything if I needed to. It’s what happens next that’s important. Ethan yawned.
He had worried that his criminal act would mean that he would not be able to sleep that night and that he would wake exhausted the following morning, his knowledge of sleep disorders filling him with dread. However, when he got up, he felt as energetic as the previous day.
As soon as he had put his shirts into wash, he realised that he had nothing to do. Feeling like a man who drinks alone, the day stretched to absurd lengths. He wished Aislin was there and sent her a message:
Hi sweetie, hope your ok.let me know if you need anything.xx
She liked him using pet names and kisses, which meant that he reserved them for occasions when he needed to say sorry or ask for a favour. I should tell her that I love her more often. You never know what’s going to happen. He kept his mobile in his hand until he thought that she would probably be driving.
Ethan put on the MV but felt discontented after a few minutes and sent a message to one of his university friends, asking if she was free for a drink that night.
After a few minutes, she replied that she was.
Aislin sent a message half an hour later:
Just got here.going to be a fuss about nothing prob.will call later.xx
The kisses made him relax for the first time since the incident.
He did not leave anything in the crammer they hired that night, making his friend comment about it. Ethan did not get home until one in the morning.
Aislin rang the following day.
“Hi sweetheart.”
“Hi ya, sorry I didn’t get chance to call yesterday. You’ll never guess what’s happened.”
“Go on.”
“Well, we went through the photos for hours, I’d forgot that he’d taken so many. There must be a dozen albums full to chocka. Anyway, when we’d gone through a load of them, mum said that she wanted some stuff from the shop and I said I’d go with him. We were standing in a queue when this bloke next to us asks dad about his hat and where it had come from.
“I don’t know how it happened but they ended up arguing about it. Dad took offence to something he’d said and kept going on and on about how it’d come from Ireland and that you can’t buy them anywhere else, and the other guy was taking the piss, saying that you can get them from the pound shop. It ended up with dad saying that ‘the likes of him’ could never understand, then the man swung a punch at him.”
“Jesus, is your dad all right?”
“Yeah yeah, he never got hit. The idiot swung so hard that he’d have smacked him into next week if he’d connected, but he fell into a stand instead and knocked the stuff over the floor.”
“Was he drunk?”
“I think so. I’ve never seen anyone run so fast in a circle before. He must have gone round the shop five times before he got out.”
“I’m surprised you didn’t deal with him.”
“He was more likely to hurt himself than anyone else. It was the most embarrassing thing that has ever happened.”
Ethan chuckled.
“You can laugh but it’s only a matter of time before this happens to you. He likes you, remember. Anyway, I haven’t told you the worst of it yet. I just wanted to go, but the woman at the till started to put our stuff through before I could say anything. Then, she said that we had to wait ’cos it was policy that they always call the police when a crime’s been committed! It was bad. I had to stand there for an hour ’cos there was a manager watching us the whole time. Dad must have thought I needed some entertainment because he explained at great length why he likes queues. Apparently, they’re one of the few places left where people are equal and spontaneous. They are when he’s standing in one. I don’t know what people thought was going on. They probably thought we were shoplifters. Then we had to give statements to the world’s most bored policeman. Ethan, what can I say? What can you do about someone like that? For most people it’s a once in a lifetime thing, but for dad, every day’s a sitcom.”
“What did your mum say?”
“Nothing. Just shook her head. Took one of the onions off us then carried on cooking. She’s used to it, you see. I was too, it’s only now that I don’t live with him that I notice.”
“Is this what I’ve got to look forward to then? Are you going to end up as mad as he is?”
“Worse. So you’re planning to stay with me forever then are you?”
“Of course.”
“That’s a relief. I’m going to need someone to change my nappy when I go wrong.”
“You can count on me.”
“By the way, have you spoken to Dan yet?”
“About what? What do you mean?”
“About what you said you were going to talk about. Your workload, and all that stuff.”
“No, I haven’t yet. To be honest, I’ve had a massive pile of jobs to do and I just forgot. Sorry.”
“Are you going to?”
“Yeah, I will. Leave it with me.”
“Okay, I’ve got to get off. You up to anything today?”
“Not much, just going to the cinema with Mo.”
“What you going to see?”
“That aliens thing.”
“Aliens. You’re proper boys, you two are.”
“I hope so.”
“Right, I’ll ring you at work tomorrow.”
“Okay. Do you want to stay over next week?”
“Erm, yeah, why not.”
“It’s just that I haven’t seen you properly for ages, with work and everything.”
“Okay, shall I come over tonight then?”
“Yeah. I’ll be back around seven, eight?”
“That’s fine, I won’t leave here until late.”
“Okay, see you in a bit.”
“Bye then.”
“Bye.”
He missed her very much at that moment. I don’t have problems when Aislin’s around. She’d never have let me act like an idiot.
Ethan met Mohammed in a fac around the corner from the cinema, which was bedecked with advertisements for an ultimate combat match that was going to be shown in a hour. Fighting sports had become more popular in recent years after the regulations surrounding them had been relaxed, which had increased the chances of spectators seeing someone get killed. Holographic projections gave a three hundred and sixty degree view of injured bodies.
The tables were close together and the smell of alcohol was heavy in the air. Elderly men occupied the spaces nearest the bar, sipping pints and gazing around.
Mohammed turned up a few minutes after Ethan.
“You all right?”
“Yeah, good thanks.”
“I’ve got the drinks in.”
“Mate, all the things I ever said about you… I only meant about half of them.”
Ethan laughed. “I must be a right shit then. Sit down before I make you pay.”
Whenever he saw Mohammed outside of work, it took him a moment to recognise him, as his beard looked odd over a jumper. His work shirts hid his stocky physique, the width of his shoulders being evident in his casual clothes.
“What you getting then?” Ethan asked.
“I’m hungry, I’m gonna have a burger.”
“Sounds good. In fact, to hell with the menu, I’ll have the same as you.”
“Be careful. People’ll think this is a date if we have the same thing. They’ll bring a candle over.”
Mohammed smiled, sticking his tongue out like a lizard.
“Bring it on, I’m game.”
“That’s enough of that, I’ll get the order.”
Ethan gave him the money then watched him queue at the counter. Despite that it was only mid-afternoon, the fac was already busy. Ethan checked his mobile to see whether Aislin had sent him a message.
Drinking that early made him drowsy, and the sounds of the fac seemed to retreat, as if he were floating away from it.
“Thirty minutes, they said.”
“That’s not bad. I’d forgotten the fight was on.”
“Cheers, mate,” Mohammed said before drinking the beer Ethan had bought him.
An old man at the bar mechanically lifted a pint to his mouth, his movements seeming as artificial as if he were made out of wax. Someone came out of the toilet and joined him, and when Ethan saw her, he hid his face behind his hand. It was Holloway. What the hell’s she doing here? Everything in her Mirror record had suggested that she lived on the other side of the city. She should have been removed from her position by now. The old man looked in his direction.
“Let’s go into the other room.”
“What’s wrong with you? I won’t be able to see the fight from in there.”
“Mo, I’m going in the other room whether you come with me or not.”
“Right…”
Ethan zipped his coat up to the top and pressed his nose into it. He held his breath then made for the other room without looking over there again. It’s the Icks. They’re up to something. Things started to make sense. The incident, how tired he had felt. They’d poisoned him somehow, followed him, entrapped him. He had finally got an explanation. He sat at the table nearest the fire exit.
“What’s the matter, Eth?”
“Nothing, it was just really hot in there. I was about to faint.”
“You’re getting fucking eccentric, you are. You’ll be turning up to work in your slippers next.”
They sat in silence for a few moments, Mohammed stretching his limbs.
“By the way, I’ve got some news for ya.”
“Yeah… yeah…”
Those bastards will stoop to anything. It won’t work with me, I’m stronger than that…
“I wanted to tell you before everyone else at the office. Not that it’s a secret, but… anyway, I wanted you to know. Well… it’s that Hasna’s pregnant.”
“That’s brilliant, nice one. Congratulations.”
“Thank you.”
What about Aislin? If they can get to me then they can get to her. Why didn’t I think of this before? His eyes suddenly focused and he saw Mohammed looking at him.
“So… how many months is it then? Are you going to know if it’s a boy or a girl?”
“Four months and it’s a girl. It just seemed the right time, you know what I mean? We’ve talked about it on and off for ages, about the money and everything. We got hung up on stuff about her job at first, but as soon as you decide, that lot doesn’t matter anymore.”
“Yeah… yeah… ’Scuse me, I’ll be back in a minute.”
Ethan went out the fire exit and was immediately hit by wind that swirled up his nostrils. He rang Aislin. She did not reply. He looked at his mobile and thought about sending a message before deciding that that was not immediate enough. He rang again, pacing the grass and kicking the fac wall.
A few seconds later, the call connected.
“Hello?”
“Hi Ash, it’s me. Are you okay?”
“Yeah fine, what’s up? You sound like you’ve just run a marathon.”
“Nothing… I was just checking you were okay.”
“Right… I haven’t fallen down a well since yesterday if that’s what you were asking.”
“You know I… love you, don’t you?”
“Ethan, what’s up? You’re acting very strange.”
“Nothing… it was just… I’m out with Mo and he was telling me that one of his uncles has died. It makes you think when you hear something like that… that you should let people know…”
“I’m going to outlive you so you’ve got nothing to worry about there. Look, I’ve got to go, Daisy’s waiting for me. I’ll talk to you properly tonight.”
“Yeah, bye then…”
He looked at his mobile and for a moment wondered whether she was in danger and unable to speak. I’ve got to calm down. The fire exit would not open from the outside, so he walked to the front entrance. He checked that his zip was fastened as far as it would go and set his work mobile to record, hiding it in the palm of his hand. Ethan went into the fac expecting everyone to turn round and stare at him, but his appearance caused no reaction. In fact, the fac was noticeably quieter than before, even though the fight had started. No one reacted when a hologram of one of the fighters launched across the room, flickering when it went through tables. It was all very suspicious, but at least Ethan was not in any immediate danger. He went through to the other room to find Mohammed picking his teeth.
“What was that about?”
“It’s all right. I just realised that I’d forgot to tell Ash something. Panic over.”
“Right. I’m finished. Let’s go or we’ll miss the start of the film.”
Ethan remembered what he had said about the baby. “You’d better get your paternity sleep licence in, I don’t want a file of your dodgy activities landing on my desk.”
“Mate, I’ll make sure I fill the form in first thing tomorrow. I wouldn’t want you going through my affairs.”
“Make sure you do.”
Mohammed took his coat and brushed past him. What’s his problem? Ethan thought. He doesn’t have anything serious to worry about.
The seats were arranged in rows around the edges of the screening room, with a wide open space before and above them where the images could be projected. Ethan felt as if he was going to fall asleep when the lights went out, so he pinched the backs of his hands and neck. The pain was dull and signified nothing, making him more irritable than alert. His thoughts drifted as the tinny music of the advertisements began. He wondered whether he should tell Aislin about Mo. She had always said that she did not want children until she had got her promotion. He decided not to mention it.
Ethan wondered whether he could have been followed. After all, so much can be found out about someone from their leisure activities: their lifestyle, their associates, inferences about their political views… And the cinema would be the perfect place to observe him. He consciously controlled his blinking until his eyes felt sore.
The film did not live up to the boastful descriptions that had been beaten into his consciousness by the advertising. When they came out, they walked in silence for a few seconds until Ethan asked, “What did you reckon then?”
“Crap.”
“Agreed.”
They walked to their cars in silence.
“Right, I’ll see you tomorrow then, mate.”
“Yep, see you tomorrow. Tell Has that I said congratulations.”
Mohammed nodded.
Before setting off, Ethan checked his mobile to find a message from Aislin, saying that she was too tired to come over that night. While driving home, he further debated with himself about whether to tell her about Mo. If she found out, the first thing she would ask was why he had not said anything, which he would be unable to answer.
His mind drifted and he realised that he was approaching a traffic light too quickly. Ethan stepped on the brake.
“You have stopped closer to the vehicle ahead than the
recommended distance. Your insurer has been informed.”
A graph appeared on the dashboard, which showed a spike in his otherwise optimal use of fuel over the last month. He became angry as he thought of how ridiculous he was being. Back to this again. Not being able to leave anything alone. Thinking the same things over and over and going round in circles. Upsetting Aislin over nothing. I’ll not be happy until I’ve driven her away. The thought of not seeing her again was so painful that he was as upset as if they had actually had an argument.
Ethan shuffled on his seat. The car suddenly seemed very hot. He lifted himself then sat down again, his trousers stuck to his skin. A horn beeped behind him, making him jump. He glanced at the front mirror before seeing that the traffic light had turned green. He blushed before driving away, feeling as if his whole body was burning. He had not blushed since he was a child.
It was only when he was out of sight of the irate driver, and thus when Ethan was no longer concentrating on whether he was gesturing at him or would suddenly make an aggressive move, that the exhaustion came. It felt as if he had stepped through a thick layer of spider’s webs then found himself unable to move his arms, the strands constantly brushing his face. His feet were heavy and felt as if they stuck to the pedals whenever he touched them. The sky flickered around the edges of his vision; the car seemed sluggish as if it were a living thing only reluctantly following his commands.
He did not think he would be able to get home and considered pulling over several times, only not doing so because of his awareness that if his behaviour came to official attention then everything would be over. Not that there was anything in the policies about his situation; no rulebook could be so comprehensive as to cover every eventuality, but suspicion ran far and wide. If they wanted him out, if someone risk assessed his behaviour as falling into the wrong category, than an investigation would be sure to turn up something. So he carried on as if driving into a nightmare, the streets becoming narrower the further he went.