by Dora Heldt
“Grimy bar? Flowery wallpaper? Scuffed dining tables? I know the Sea View wasn’t perfect, Heinz, but it wasn’t run-down. Plus, who’s leading the renovations here? And to top it all off—The Cockle? Were you drunk when you gave this interview?”
My father smiled at her. “Well, what are you planning to call it?”
Marleen gasped for air and almost roared. “What am I planning to call it? ‘De Vries’ of course! Because it happens to be my bar, which unfortunately you forgot to mention.”
My father thought for a moment. “Yes, ‘De Vries’ sounds elegant. But why are you shouting like that? The radio’s not on, I can hear you perfectly fine.”
Kalli read the article through once more. “That’s a nice photo of you, Heinz. Did he take that yesterday with the little camera? You can tell.”
Onno was looking hurt. “What does he mean by helpers?”
I was still staring at the article, speechless. Particularly at the part where the youthful seventy-something was winking at his beautiful daughter.
“What on earth did you tell this Meyer guy to make him write such nonsense?”
Now it was my father’s turn to be outraged. “What do you mean, nonsense? It’s wonderful marketing—and free for that matter. I spent half the evening giving interviews, just to get Marleen in the paper, and then you have a go at me. Do it yourself next time.”
“Heinz!” Marleen wasn’t showing any signs of calming down; her neck was getting blotchy and red. “This isn’t publicity for me, it’s all nonsense. The name of the bar isn’t correct, my name isn’t even mentioned once, and…actually, that’s a very good point, why isn’t my name in it?”
Heinz looked at her innocently. “We weren’t completely sure how to spell it. And getting it wrong would have been embarrassing. We thought it would be okay like that, and it’s too late now anyway. But we could write a reader’s letter; we wouldn’t have to pay for that, either.”
Marleen was done in. She sank down onto the chair that Onno pushed over and knocked back the schnapps Kalli poured for her. Then she gave my father a long, hard stare.
“Consider yourself lucky that I’m friends with your daughter. But I’m warning you. Next time you’re a dead man. Kalli, pour me another. Cheers.”
My father decided to spend the next few hours sanding away in silence. He certainly didn’t seem to be feeling guilty, though—he looked content and was whistling away to himself. Now and then he sauntered past the table, which still had the paper spread out on it, and looked at his photo. I took a step back, looked at the wall I’d been undercoating, and decided it looked pretty good.
“Dorothea, I’m finished.”
The famous Hamburg artist raised her head.
“Lovely. You can start the other side tomorrow, then; it’s already half past four.”
I stretched out, content. “Then I’ll call it a day and go for a shower.”
My father put down his sanding paper. “We could have another ride down to the beach. What do you think? Have a quick dip in the sea?”
I was actually hoping to see Johann again quickly before he left, but he hadn’t been in touch yet. Before I could think of an answer for my father, Marleen came into the restaurant. She was pulling a big box behind her, which she pushed in front of Heinz’s feet.
“There are twelve small lamps here for the windows; they still need to be assembled.”
My father looked briefly into the box. “Well, I’ll have to do that tomorrow,” he said regretfully. “We’re going for a swim now.”
“No, my good man, you are not going swimming, you’re putting these lamps together.” Marleen’s eyes flashed dangerously. “It’s not open for discussion.”
My father smiled at her winningly. “Why don’t you come with us to the beach? You look so exhausted; a little swim in the sea to cool off might do you a world of good.”
Marleen opened her mouth to retort, but then shut it again.
“So? Are you coming?”
Marleen’s voice was calm but firm. “Heinz, just put the damn lamps together. And keep quiet for a bit too, okay? Just for a little while, then I might be able to sit in a room with you and that hack tonight without losing my temper. Can we try that?”
My father gave her a soothing pat on the back. “Of course, Marleen, if the lamps are that important to you, I’ll do them right away. And don’t you worry, we’ll have a good night out later, and then you can get your mind on other things. Chin up.”
Marleen groaned softly, turned around, and walked off. My father watched her go thoughtfully, then turned around to me.
“This is very demanding work for a woman. The guesthouse, the guests themselves, the renovations, and now this heat, too. It’s a good thing we’re giving her a hand. Don’t you think, Kalli?”
Kalli nodded. “I’m sure you’re right. Come on then, let’s see what kind of strange lamps she’s bought. I mean, if they need to be assembled…”
The two of them peered into the carton. I watched Dorothea and Nils, who were clearly struggling not to laugh.
“Okay, I’m going now,” I said. “Have fun.”
I didn’t get a reply.
On the way back to the apartment I decided to give Johann a ring. But before I could type in the number, my cell started ringing. A Hamburg number showed up on the display. It was my mother, and she sounded dejected.
“Hi, Christine. So I hear you’re very busy there?”
“Hi, Mom.” I sat down on the bench next to the back door and lit a cigarette. “How are you?”
“Are you smoking? Make sure Dad doesn’t see you; you know how he always worries about your health. I’ve already spoken to him twice today.”
“Yes, he certainly does that. How are you feeling?”
“Oh, not that great, to be honest. My leg hurts, but they gave me some painkillers so I can still exercise my new knee. I never thought it would be this bad. But don’t tell Dad that, otherwise he’ll ring up even more often.”
“I won’t say a word. He didn’t even tell me he was calling you that much. He could at least have said something. I tried twice this morning, but you weren’t in your room.”
“You know your father, he doesn’t talk much. Is he at least talking to the workmen a little?”
My father didn’t talk much? I was astounded. The sound of him shouting out orders was carrying all the way through the open restaurant window to my bench.
“Yes, he’s certainly talking to the others. There’s no way of not doing so when you’re working together so closely.”
My mother sounded reassured. “That’s good. But listen, make sure you don’t overwork him. He’s seventy-three, after all. He can’t do heavy work anymore, but he often forgets that.”
“He sure does.”
“Why did you say that like that? Has he already overdone it?”
“No, Mom. He’s not lifting, he’s not painting, he’s not doing anything electrical. In fact, he’s very good at delegating.”
“And how’s it going with meals?”
“He’s eating.”
“Why are you being so abrupt? You would tell me if he wasn’t okay, wouldn’t you? It’s just that he’s so shy sometimes, and he always wants to do everything right. He has good ideas but doesn’t dare put them into action.”
“Oh, I’d say he manages okay.”
My mother sounded skeptical. “Why do you keep saying things with that tone of voice? Well, anyway, he told me Kalli’s treating everyone to a round of beer tonight to celebrate the baby’s arrival. Where are they off to? Is there a nice little pub in the area? Remember that Heinz doesn’t like loud music.”
I closed my eyes and pictured a dancing reel: Dad, Mechthild Weidemann-Zapek, Kalli, Hannelore Klüppersberg, Onno, Gisbert, Dorothea, Nils, Gesa, and me. I wondered what the ladies would wear later to the Shark Bar…
“It’s okay, I’ll be going with them. Kalli knows a nice, quiet place, but I’ve no idea what it’s called.”
<
br /> “Have a lovely time, then. And please make sure your father enjoys himself. He doesn’t have to sit around sadly in the corner just because I’m in here. Try to cheer him up a bit; he sounded a bit down before.”
Down? Was it guilt perhaps? The youthful seventy-something with the mischievous smile? The charming man with the beautiful daughter? I suppressed a giggle and cleared my throat.
“You really don’t need to worry, Mom. He has enough to distract him, and he doesn’t seem that down to me, really. Concentrate on that knee of yours and on getting better. I’ll call again tomorrow.”
“Okay, I will. Give my love to everyone. Until tomorrow.”
She hung up. I wondered how she managed to handle my father in day-to-day life, and why it was that I was never able to do the same.
As I opened the door to the apartment I heard a whistle. Turning around, I saw Johann, who was putting down two travel bags.
“Oh good, so I do get to say good-bye after all.”
I walked a few steps toward him and then stopped.
“So you managed to get a flight?”
“Yes.” He smiled. “I’m waiting for the taxi; my flight’s in three-quarters of an hour. Thanks again. I’m hoping to be back by tomorrow evening, and then I’d like to take you out to dinner. The day after tomorrow at the latest. Okay?”
I nodded. “Okay. Hey, why are you taking all of your luggage with you? You could have left it here, you know.”
He looked at me, confused. “The luggage…yes, that’s right, I just brought it all automatically. Damn, oh well, never mind.”
The taxi horn interrupted us. Johann leaned over and kissed me fleetingly on the cheek. “Okay, see you soon. Bye, take care.”
“Have a good flight.”
I watched the taxi drive away and wondered why I felt a little uneasy.
The Con Man
* * *
The interior of the Shark Bar offered exactly what the name promised: fishing nets hung from the ceiling, figureheads in the corners, and maritime knickknacks everywhere. The barkeeper looked like a pirate trying to earn some extra pennies, and back when I was a child I would probably have thought the waitress was a mermaid.
My father seemed excited. “What a great bar, look. And no self-service here, that’s the best thing about it. So, it seems our Kalli has great taste in bars.” He made his way over to the waitress with a beaming smile. “We’re here. My friend Kalli reserved a table. A big one.”
Howard Carpendale singing “Ob-la-di, ob-la-da…” boomed out from the stereo as we were led over to the table underneath the figurehead with the largest bosom. My father looked up admiringly and then happily at me.
“Such a great table, and good music too. Are you having a beer?”
I nodded obediently and wondered how soon I could get away. As we waited for our beers and the others to arrive, my father looked around at the decor, clearly fascinated.
“Dorothea should take a good look at this. We could copy some of the ideas. I really like what they’ve done here.”
“Dad, I really think you should stay out of the plans for the design.”
“Why?” He looked stunned. “I’m part of the target audience for it. I’m a guest on Nordeney. And I like fishing nets.” He gazed up. “I wonder where you can get these figureheads from?”
“De Vries is going to be a lounge bar, not some maritime drinking hole.”
“Lounge bar, get you! You always act so posh. I thought we wanted to make money.”
“Marleen wants to earn money, Dad, not us. So try to hold back a little, please. Look, she’s coming.”
Marleen stopped at the door, looked around until she saw us, and then came over to the table.
“Hi,” she said as she sat down next to me on the bench. “Onno and Kalli will be here soon; I overtook them on the bike.”
“Tell me, Marleen,” my father said as he leaned over the table, “what do you think of these nets on the ceiling?”
She lifted her head and then looked at him distrustfully. “Why? You haven’t already ordered some, have you?”
He sat back indignantly. “As if I would meddle in your plans like that. No, of course not. I was just wondering what you thought of them, out of interest.”
She looked up at the ceiling. “Well, they’re exactly the kind of thing I don’t like.”
“Shame.” My father handed out beer coasters. “It would have given the whole place a bit of style, I…” He noticed my threatening look. “Okay, fine. Ah, here comes the new grandfather with our favorite handyman.” He stood up and waved. “Here, Kalli, Onno, we’re over here.”
Onno had made a real effort and was wearing a dark blue jacket, a red shirt, and a blue tie. Even Kalli had gotten dolled up in a brown suit and a white shirt.
“You were right after all. My cardigan wouldn’t have been the right choice for tonight,” my father whispered to me.
Especially as the cardigan in question had been green and blue, and he’d been wearing a yellow T-shirt with the slogan “Friends of Community Sports” under it. I’d managed to stop him from wearing it at the last moment—my mother would have been proud of me. Once Kalli and Onno arrived at the table, he sat down again. “Well, amigos, you’ve really made an effort tonight. Very elegant.” He picked an invisible bit of fluff from his gray jacket and smoothed down his striped shirt. “I totally agree that you have to dress for the occasion. And the birth of a new granddaughter is certainly a very special one. Where are our drinks? Oh listen, Daliah Lavi, I always liked her.”
His beloved singer sang “O-ho-ho-ho, when will you come?” in her smoky voice, just as Frau Weidemann-Zapek and Frau Klüppersberg came into the Shark Bar. I couldn’t stop myself from singing “O-ho-ho-ho, there they come,” which won me a reprimanding look from my father.
“You have such a bad voice, and it’s such an easy melody. Kalli, your guests have arrived.”
Marleen and I grinned inanely, a fit of laughter threatening to overtake us.
Hannelore Klüppersberg had dressed for the occasion, too. She was wearing a blue-and-white striped nautical dress that was slit up to the knee and had a voluminous collar. Her dear friend Mechthild Weidemann-Zapek was sewn into a satin monstrosity, steel blue with small sequin butterflies fluttering out of the neckline. There were butterflies in her hair too, of course.
The blonde waitress stopped in her tracks briefly when she saw them, but managed to recover herself. Onno stared at them like he was seeing an apparition, and my father looked nonplussed. Kalli leaned over to me. “You know,” he said softly, “it was a mistake to invite them. I hope you won’t tell Hanna. It would be embarrassing for me.” Ever the gentleman, however, he went over to the ladies, greeted them with a bow, and led them over to our table.
Marleen gave Onno a nudge. “You’re ogling, my dear.”
He looked embarrassed. “What do you mean?”
Kalli pointed to two chairs, and Frau Weidemann-Zapek and Frau Klüppersberg sat down with a great deal of fuss.
“It’s very…ethnic.” Frau Klüppersberg pointed up at the fishing net under the ceiling, then, noticing the topless woman, put her hand in front of her mouth and shrieked with delight. “Gosh! Mechthild, look.”
“I think you ladies know everyone?” asked Kalli. “Or should I introduce you?”
Frau Weidemann-Zapek cocked her glittering head of hair to the side. “Well, we practically live together, but I don’t know all your names. Why don’t we all use first names? That would be nice. My name is Mechthild, and my friend here answers to the beautiful name of Hannelore.”
“What a good idea.” My father raised his beer glass. “I can’t remember all these silly double-barreled names anyway. So, I’m Heinz and this is my daughter Christine.”
Mechthild looked at him, enchanted. “Heinz, aren’t you going to introduce us to your friends?”
“Of course. This is Onno, Kalli, and Marleen, and Dorothea and Nils are on their way. So, ladies, w
hat would you like to drink?”
Roland Kaiser was warbling his hit “Seven Barrels of Wine” in the background. I took a deep breath; it was clearly going to be a challenging evening.
It took the ladies took until Dorothea and Nils arrived to decide on a small bottle of wine. Kalli waved over at them.
“There you are. Dorothea, would you like a glass of Moselle wine too?”
Dorothea shook her head. “No, not for me, I’ll have a beer.”
“Nils?”
“The same for me. Thank you.”
Mechthild gave Dorothea a skeptical look, so my father tried to win her over. “Dorothea is an artist.”
“Oh…” Mechthild didn’t seem particularly impressed. “I always think there’s something a little common about women drinking beer.”
Dorothea stared at her, speechless. Onno nodded, prompting Marleen to dig her elbow into his side with an angry look and flag over the waitress. “I’ll have a beer too,” she said. “And you, Christine?”
“Yes.” I smiled at Frau Weidemann-Zapek sweetly. “A large one, please.”
Instead of answering, she turned around to my father and put her ring-covered hand on his.
“I saw your picture in the paper today. I had no idea how much work you were in charge of here.”
Marleen started to have a coughing fit. My father made a nonplussed expression and pulled his hand away quickly to scratch his chin.
“Oh, you know what it’s like, the media always exaggerates things. I’m just part of the team.” He smiled humbly, and I found myself wondering if Mechthild should take his hand more often.
When the drinks arrived Kalli insisted on opening the wine bottle himself. Hannelore clapped her hands together as he filled her glass.
“What a great job you did of that, Kalli. Then we’ll have a toast to you. Cheers!”
“I think the toast is meant to be for Kalli’s granddaughter,” Onno commented.