I'm still torn, though. I could remove myself from the pack life altogether, but the bond with Rion would remain. It's in my chest. I feel him as much as I recognize my heart beating. He's there within it—a part of me. In the middle of English class, I decide to reach out to him. He could be sleeping, but I have to try.
“Rion?”
“Are you okay?” His voice is more alert than I expected it to be. I probably startled him by speaking to him while I’m at school.
“Yes. Can we talk after school?”
“What Paige said got to you, didn't it?”
“Yes. She's right. I need to tell you how I feel.” Even speaking the words makes me a tiny bit lighter. I hope after I’ve said all I plan to, I won’t feel this cloud over me anymore.
“We can go to your house. It will save us the travel time to mine.” He lives an hour away. I could teleport to him. Although, there’s something about cuddling up to him in my bed again that’s appealing.
“Sounds good.”
“I love you, Ari.”
I don't reply. I'm not sure telling him the depth of my feelings would do any good at this point. Paige was right. I do love him, but admitting it is an entirely different story. Rion can sense how I feel; he must know. However, I want him to hear it from my lips. There's something magical about hearing the words. At least, there was for me when he said them for the first time.
The rest of the day goes by at a snail's pace. A few people come up to me at lunch to ask where I was Thursday and Friday. It shocks me that anyone noticed. I had to say that when I ran out of class, I was sick, and I had to completely pretend everything didn’t change that night.
My stomach sours and begins to ache. I kept my thoughts away from that night for the most part. It isn’t possible to keep them away completely.
After school, there’s not one but two gorgeous men waiting for me—Rion and Desmond. Sure. Why not? Everyone will think I have an endless supply of men waiting for me when I leave every day.
Paige is by my side, beaming up at Desmond when I walk over to Rion's sleek Jaguar F-Type SVR.
“Paige,” Desmond greets and stands up straight. He assesses her as any good doctor would. “How are you feeling?”
“I'm good.” She smiles wide. I think it's Desmond's beard she loves most. He's got this whole linebacker look to him, but with a full beard and the gentleness of a teddy bear. Most would be intimated by him, but not me, and obviously not Paige. No one would guess the handsome man in front of us is not your average thirty year old. I’m not sure how old he even is.
“I'm happy to hear it.” He turns to me. “Ari, nice to see you again. You had an uneventful day.”
“Nice to see you, too. And hooray for that. I've had enough events to last me a lifetime.”
He smiles, though I don't think it's one he truly feels. “We all have. It's part of being,” he glances around then drops his voice to a whisper, “one of the pack. We fight for those we care about, and we love them with everything we have.” He winks. If Rion would have said that to me, I would probably let out a breathy sigh and throw myself at him. But the more I get to know the other wolves in the pack, the more I see them as friends; not merely someone I have an interest in or an attraction to. Desmond is just—Desmond. He's warm, kind, and cares about everyone. He’s the type of person who would drop everything to help out a friend in need.
He offers his arm to Paige. “Can I walk you to your car?”
“You most certainly can.” She beams as they go. Girls stop to stare at them. I can tell by the way Paige is swaying her hips that she’s enjoying every second of the attention.
“Desmond knows Paige is a huge flirt, right?” I ask. “And that she's not trying to get with him?”
“We all know about Paige,” Rion chuckles. “She's harmless and has a good heart.”
“That she does.”
He hesitantly places a hand on my waist. The connection we have when our skin meets isn’t there, thanks to my shirt being in the way. “I missed you today.”
I give in to every urge in my body screaming at me to go to him, to ignite my body with that spark that only happens when two mates touch. Wrapping my arms around his neck, my hands touching his skin as I press my body to his and softly whisper, “I missed you, too.” My body lights up as electricity flows through it. Within seconds, it calms to a low hum. Tears threaten, but I do what I can to hold them back.
What am I doing? I'm on this rollercoaster that has become my life, and I'm not sure if all the loops and dips are worth the ride. I love Rion. I can admit that. I love him with every part of my being; however, that love comes with a price. Tomorrow, the next day, five years from now, something could happen to him, and it could be all my fault.
He holds on to me as if his life depends on it. And instantly the storm brewing in him, at us being apart, calms. His thoughts flow freely to me and are only about me. About how perfect I am for him. How much he loves me and would move heaven and earth if he needed to so I would be happy.
We pull apart, and that's when I notice Brayden walking by. Things have been strained between us ever since I started dating Rion. I'm no longer hanging out with him much. When I'm with Paige, it's only the two of us. Bray can't know the secret that is everything paranormal. If he's around, I can't talk about anything but school. Paige and I still eat lunch with him, but he mostly broods. Paige has been his crush for years and even she's drifted a little.
Bray stops a few feet from Paige's car. His thoughts reach me as anger rolls off him at the sight of Desmond talking to her. If he only knew what I do.
“He'll be okay,” Rion says from beside me. “He needs to find his own path. For so long, it was wherever you and Paige went. With both of you going in different directions, he’s not part of your group as he once was.”
“I think it might be easier if he wasn't so hung up on her.”
“Heartache takes time to heal.”
Desmond nods to us before turning and walking away from the school. “Did Desmond drive or run down here?” I ask.
“Drive.” That’s good. Rion’s car only has two seats, and I don’t think he’d appreciate me sitting on Desmond’s lap until we can get out of sight so I can teleport him back to the mansion.
I slip into Rion's black Jag. The smell of leather and sandalwood combine to welcome me back into his world. One where it’s just the two of us.
As he's pulling away from the school, I notice a group of girls watching us. “Dream on. This one's mine.”
Rion laughs beside me. “All yours, little mouse.”
“I didn't mean to send that to you,” I mutter, a slow blush creeps over my cheeks. It makes me wonder what else I’ve accidentally sent his way. I have to get a better lockdown on my thoughts.
“I know, but I loved hearing it.”
“You like that I'm crazy with jealousy where you're concerned and don't want any other girl near you?”
“Absolutely.” He grins.
4
Rion and I decide to go to my room to talk. If for some reason my mom comes home early, he'll hear her, and I can teleport us to the backyard. Mom won't mind that he's here, as long as he isn't in my room.
He takes a seat on the bed. Hesitantly, I sit beside him. Depending on what I say and how he reacts, our entire relationship could change. He moves so he's behind me, his legs straddling me. Leaning back against him, I take a deep breath.
“No matter what you say, Ari, I'm not going anywhere. You could tell me you want nothing to do with me, and I'd still protect you.” That would break me all the more. If we broke up, and I still saw him out there at night, it would rip my heart out of my chest daily.
“I'm not with you for your protection. The last thing I'd want, if we split up, would be for you to waste your time guarding me.”
“It wouldn't be wasting my time. Whether you'll admit to it or not, you're my mate. The rest of my life will be devoted to being there for you.”
How can one person always know the right things to say? It doesn’t matter what I'm about to tell him, or how I'm feeling, one thing remains the same—Rion loves me. There is nothing I can do to stop that. Maybe it's a good thing. Maybe not.
“I don't know what to do,” I say honestly. If we're going to have this conversation, nothing but the truth will be said.
“About what?”
“You, me, everything.”
“Cace's death wasn't your fault.” He jumps right to the heart of the matter. If Cace hadn't been killed, and Paige hadn't been kidnapped, we wouldn't be having this talk.
“Everyone keeps saying that.”
“Everyone is right. You're still learning about us and how the pack works. Above all else, we protect the women and children. Any one of us would gladly put our life on the line so a mate or a child would remain unharmed. We’re a team—a solid unit.” I understand what he’s saying. But that doesn’t make this any easier for me to handle.
“I thought you didn't like being part of the pack,” I say. Rion is content living in Aries’ house, while the rest of the pack is in the mansion. Though, he did say he wants a place of his own on the vast amount of land the pack has. Rion isn’t one to always listen to his alpha. He’ll follow along with Aries’ wishes as long as he agrees with them.
“I don't mind the pack. What I don't like is being told what to do. I've had a problem with authority my whole life. But the pack, I love them. They’re my brothers. Their mates and children are to be cherished. If you went to Lena right now and asked her what she thought about what happened, she would tell you Cace died with honor. That no matter what you may think, or what you saw, he was doing his duty as part of the pack. She lost him, that's true. But Cace knew what he was doing. If he saw you right now, he’d lecture you on how you need to lift your chin up and use this as a way to make things better.”
“I don't know how,” I admit. “Everything is so messed up.” I can’t see a right way to move forward. I don’t want anyone else to die because of me.
“Life has a way of working out. You need to remember who you have around you and lean on them. Use the grief of the past to fuel your future.”
“What if I said I couldn't do this anymore? That I want to be removed from the pack and go back to being a normal teenager?”
“I would respect your wishes.”
“Even though you don't agree with them?” I ask.
“Yes, that's what mates do. We support each other. I said this in the beginning, Ari. We're a team.”
“I agreed to be in this with you,” I say more to myself. I remember it clear as day. Rion gave me an out and I didn't take it. I committed myself to our relationship. I don’t like what I see when I look at myself. I’m considering backing away from him.
“And you are in this with me.”
“How can you be sure?” Rion is so confident in everything he does, while I sit undecided.
Taking my hand in his, his palm to the back of mine, he places it on my chest over my heart. His breath tickles the skin along my neck when he speaks in that exotic accent I’ve never been able to place. “Because I know what's in here. I can feel you in my own heart. You might doubt what you can do, or the effect you have on others, but I don't. You're meant for more than a typical teenage life. If you weren't, you wouldn't have been given a wolf for a mate.”
“It would be easier to go back to the way things used to be.”
“Would it? Could you walk away from everything you know? Could you turn your back on me, Ford, and Wake?” I stiffen at Wake’s name. What does Rion know?
“Why are you bringing Wake into this?”
“Because you think I'm unaware you went to see him last night. That I couldn’t smell him on you. Your friends are very important to you, and you consider him one.” His tone isn’t angry. More resigned. Like there’s no point in arguing about his cousin.
“He's broken, too.”
“We all are, Ariane. Every one of us, just in different ways. I lost my parents and my best friend. Wake lost someone he thought was his mate and his entire pack. Ford, for all his joking and teasing, is truly alone. And you, you want to make everyone happy, but it's to the detriment of yourself. What do you really want?”
Tears well in my eyes. “I don't want to be alone. I want to be accepted for who I am. And I don't want anyone else to die because of me.”
“Do you think walking away would give you all those things?”
“It would keep everyone alive, which is the most important.” It’s the truth. I wouldn’t be happy being away from Rion. If it meant everyone would live, however, I’d do it.
“What if I told you Cace was going to die that night, regardless of what happened with you?”
“How would he if I wasn't there to set the stage for all of that to occur?”
“Our fates are predetermined. They’re written in the stars, if you will. It was Cace's turn. If not in front of you, then maybe in front of Lena, or maybe he would have gotten attacked by someone else. It was his time to go, and he did it so you could live.”
His words hit me square in the chest. Cace died so I could live. And what am I doing? Sitting here feeling sorry for myself, wondering what to do with my life.
“I'm not saying you have to come to a conclusion today,” Rion continues. “But please don’t shut me out again. The thought of you not talking to me, not telling me what's wrong so I can help fix it; it destroys me inside.”
“I'm sorry,” I mutter and turn to bury my face in his chest. I’ve made such a huge mess of things.
“The Diaminsey Pack will still come for us. The pack war is still on the horizon. Whether you decide to be a part of it or not, it's not going to change the fact that the war will happen. Lealla has seen it. Your premonitions have told you a piece of what will happen. Maybe, at one point, it could have been prevented. We’ll never know, and you can’t dwell on what could have been. All we can do now is move forward. You can try and avoid all of this, Ariane, but you’re still part of it.”
“Maybe Lealla’s wrong. Maybe my premonitions are just a minor fight that’s going to happen at a different time and not a war.”
“What about Wake’s premonitions? Are his wrong, too?” I shake my head, not knowing what to say anymore. I’m grasping at straws. “Do you think Travis will stop? Do you think he'll give up on you, knowing you have powers given to you by vampires? No matter what you think or decide, the pack will always have your back.” What is he talking about? How would Travis know that?
“Travis doesn't know I have other powers beside teleporting.”
“You revealed that during the fight, Ari. You told him you knew Garrison's claws were tipped with poison.”
“Ford could have told me that.”
“Travis has the power to block him out. He isn't stupid. He's almost eight hundred years old and stronger than ever. Ford may be powerful, but in this case, you’re more so. Ford’s power came from inheriting it from his mother. She gifted it to you via a bite. It’s different. Sometimes power gets diluted when it goes through a generation or more.” Now my head is spinning. Just when I think I know most things about this world, I learn something else.
“So, in other words, I'm screwed no matter how I look at it.” What I want to do is start throwing things across the room. Just another mistake I made that night. I opened my mouth and revealed something I shouldn’t have.
“I didn't say that,” Rion says gently.
“You basically did.”
He moves so he’s next to me, bringing his hands up to cup either side of my face. “If you don't hear anything else I'm saying, remember this. You aren't ordinary, Ariane. You’re smart, powerful, and the pack needs you. If you think by you being absent more lives will be saved, you're wrong. We’re stronger together—you, me, and the pack. There is power in numbers.” I try to turn away, but he doesn't let me. “I’m not saying this to make you feel worse. I’m saying it because it’s the truth. You were
chosen for a reason. You’re my mate and a dream watcher. That’s not ordinary.”
Before I can say anything, he brings his lips to mine, pouring his love and devotion into the passionate kiss we share. My body responds tenfold. My soul sings. Our connection courses through me like lightning in a storm.
Turning to face him completely, I straddle his waist to deepen our kiss. Rion's strong hands skate under my shirt to touch the bare skin of my back. Each caress comes with a jolt of electricity.
“Tell me, Ari,” he says, in between kisses. “I want to hear it.” He doesn’t need to specify what. I hear his every thought.
I don't hesitate. He already knows how I feel—can sense it as I can his love. “I love you, Orion Raines. I love you so much.”
He pulls me in tighter, our lips pressed to one another. No space remains between our bodies. I want everything he has to give me. Then another piece of our connection clicks into place, but it’s subtle.
I want more of him. I want all of him. All of his kisses and his love.
“I can hear you.” Rion smiles against my lips.
“You can hear my thoughts now?” He nods but doesn’t break our kiss. I throw up an instant block, keeping him out. I’ve gotten a lot of practice doing that and have become good at it. Hopefully, I remember to keep it in place unless I want him to know what I’m thinking.
Reaching down, I grip the hem of his shirt and break our kiss to lift it over his head, tossing it on the floor. My lips immediately find his again as my hands explore every hard ridge of his stomach and chest. Slowly, and with shaking hands, I move lower toward his jeans, finding the button and zipper to undo them. Rion stops me with his hand and breaks our kiss.
“Not now,” he pants. “Not like this.”
It's as if cold water is doused over my head. I tug at my shirt, feeling the need to cover myself as much as possible, and lift up from his lap. He quickly reaches for me, bringing me back down to the bed.
The Somber Call (The Ariane Trilogy Book 2) Page 3