by Ada Frost
“Dominic sweetheart, go make us a cuppa will you? We may need...I just need to be alone with my daughter for a bit. Girl time okay?” I could hear the quiver in her voice, I knew she was either crying or close to crying and I hated I had done that to her.
I heard Dominic’s intake of breath readying to argue when mum interrupted “Please.” She pleaded.
I felt his warm lips on the side of my head and whispered words of love as he released his hold on my hand; I felt the cold rush in as his body heat left me. I remained leaning forward my head between my knees; the shame washing over me rendered me numb. I felt cold and empty.
The sofa cushions shifted to the side of me. “Come on” my mum’s soft voice beckoned.
I lifted my head and turned to look at her leaning back against the cushions. Her arms held out to me. My face wrinkled as I broke down into another flood of tears, hers doing the same.
“I'm sorry...I’m so sorry mum.” I sobbed hugging her tightly, her arms wrapped around me and she cradled me like she used to when I was a child. She pulled my legs over her lap and I sat semi seated on her knee.
“Never apologise for what happened, you have nothing to be sorry for. But I would like you to tell me what happened, if you can. Did you tell Elliott? Do you know who...who that man was? Was he at the party...” She paused when I sat up straight looking down at her. “What?” She asked her eyes searching my face for answers.
“It was him. Elliott.” I whispered.
Her face remained blank then my words hit her like a freight train, I saw the impact and it was as devastatingly painful as I imagined. Her face contorted in physical agony and she leaned forward and pulled me into a tight hug, almost stopping my air supply. I felt her body shake with quiet sobs and I hated that I had done this to her
****
Over two hours later, a lot of tears, and excruciating embarrassment, my mum knew the entire sordid details of my relationship with Elliott and how he had enforced fear in me of him. I had even told her about my time with Dominic in Paris.
“Eve?” Dominic’s concerned voice said quietly from the doorway.
I lifted my head to look at the beautiful man holding two cups of tea. My eyes stung and ached with the volume of tears, they had dried but I felt drained from the emotion of the day.
“You asked for a cuppa,” he said holding up the mugs “took a while to brew.” He smiled at us. I wiped at my face sitting up properly.
“I’m going to go talk to your dad.” mum said quietly. She leaned over and kissed the side of my head. I nodded but I couldn’t speak in fear of begging her not to say anything.
She stood up and walked around the sofa, as she got the doorway Dominic stepped to the side, she stood on tiptoe and kissed his cheek “Thank you, you always were a good lad.” She patted his shoulder and walked out of the lounge looking years older than when I walked in.
Dominic walked over to me and placed the mugs on the coffee table then sat beside me. “You okay?” He asked putting his hand on my knee, I smiled because it was as if now we had declared our feelings, he couldn’t handle not touching me.
“Yeah, she doesn’t hate me.” I said quietly.
“I’m proud of you, it was hard to hear never mind say but you did it” I sucked in a breath
“you heard?”
“Yeah, I said I wouldn’t leave you, so I stood outside the door in case you needed me.”
“Oh God.” I cried and covered my face with my hands.
“Babe, I’m still here, I still love you. Doesn’t matter what you tell me. I'm like a bad penny; I will keep coming back to you.”
I lifted my head and looked at him, he mouthed I love you. I smiled “I love you too.” I said aloud. I let out a shaky breath “mum doesn’t hate me.”
“Of course she doesn’t.” He replied incredulously.
“To you it seems easy to believe; to me...it’s going to take time to believe the good again.” I let out a loud sigh.
*****
I nuzzled my nose into the soft fabric I inhaled the clean fresh scent I adored, I smiled when I realised the solid body under me wasn’t a dream he was very solid, warm and even more real. I snuggled into him and felt rather than heard his low chuckle.
“Babe you can’t get much closer without us removing clothing.” He whispered, his nose pressing into my hair.
I giggled and squeezed him. My arms were banded around his waist, my leg thrown over his legs; basically I was acting like a human blanket. I lifted my sleepy face to look at him and smiled.
He looked down at me with his shining cerulean eyes and once again my heart melted.
“You’re so beautiful when you first wake up. I can’t wait for that to be a permanent sight for me to wake up to every morning. Have I told you I love you?” He asked kissing the tip of my nose.
I nodded “once or twice I think...you making up for lost time?” I grinned.
He nodded “I can’t say it enough to my gorgeous, stunning, beautiful, sexy Evelyn Beaumont.” He kissed my lips this time. When he pulled back his light blue eyes had darkened to a beautiful royal blue. “I could do that all day, just sit and kiss you.”
“Me too.” I nestled against his broad chest, listening to the strong steady beat of his heart. “Where are mum and dad?” I asked trepidation hit me over the answer. mum had accepted me after my confession but would dad or would he feel cheated at taking on such a disgraced step- daughter. I hated that term, I never felt the odd one out where dad was concerned in his eyes I was his daughter, but what would happen now after mum told him how disgusting I am.
My body ached from falling asleep in such an awkward position, but also from the emotional draining of the day. My face felt puffy and swollen, my throat felt scratchy. The click of the lounge door sent my nerves on edge again as someone entered the room. I lifted my head slowly and peered over Dominic’s shoulder. mum stood in the doorway smiling at us, dad stood behind her staring at me. His face devoid of emotion, no smile, no frown – nothing. I swallowed and pulled completely away from Dominic. His hand slid from holding me close, down my back, his hand remained a steadying force at my back.
I turned away from my parents and faced forwards, knotting my fingers in my lap.
mum entered the room and sat in the chair she first occupied when I came in this afternoon that alone felt a lifetime ago.
I felt rather than saw dad walk into the room around the back of the sofa and hover near the end of the sofa at the other side of me.
Dominic’s hand flexed at my back and from my peripheral vision I could see him staring hard at dad. I finally turned to look up at the man who had given me the best childhood anyone could wish for. His eyes were rimmed red and he looked exhausted.
He took a tentative step forward and lowered himself slowly to the cushion beside me, but he squashed himself so far to the end I turned to stare at the coffee table, tears filled my eyes again and a lump formed in my throat. He couldn’t stand to be near the dirty whore. I clenched my jaw so tight it ached.
“I’m sorry” rasped a deep voice from the side of me.
I frowned and turned to see dad twisting his hands in his lap.
“What?” I asked quietly. I wiped at the tear that betrayed me and fell down my cheek. “I said...” He cleared his throat “I’m sorry.” He wouldn’t look at me.
“Why?”
“Because I’ve let you down...I’m your dad, it’s my job to protect my kids. You’re my baby-girl and I...” He paused and cleared his throat again. He turned his face away from us all.
I reached out and touched his hand but when I made contact he flinched so I immediately pulled back.
“I’m sorry I let you down...I understand how disgusting I am –“
“What?” He spun around so fast it was my turn to flinch and pull back. I bumped into Dominic’s leg and his arm wrapped around my waist.
Dad noted my reaction and his face crumpled. “Baby-girl I’m sor...oh bugger it come here
.” He opened his arms for me, and I practically threw myself at him. His arms wrapped around me in a bone crushing hug, I heard mum sniffling and Dominic shifted on the sofa. I buried my head into the warm comfort of my dad’s woolly jumper.
“Eve, I’m not disgusted with you. I'm ashamed...but it’s shame on my shoulders for not seeing it, for not knowing he was...he...my girls should never live in fear of anyone. Let alone a little bastard like Ell...him.” Dad looked over my shoulder to Dominic “The bloody police better find the little prick before I do because I will bury him in the woods out back.” Dad’s tone sent chills down my spine.
“I have a shovel in the shed.” Dominic replied.
“We can’t...he can’t know you know...he...we can’t tell anyone else, especially the police, what about Louise and Ellie?” I pulled away from dad and sat between the two men demanding the right to protect me. I looked frantically from each person wanting some ounce of recognition I was right.
“Eve –“ Dad started.
“Evelyn –“mum called sitting forward on the edge of her seat.
Dominic held his hand up to quiet them. He sat forward and slid his arms around me pulling me to his chest “I know you’re scared, and I know you have convinced yourself no one will believe you, but baby we all believe you. Johan believes you...the police will believe you. I know you’re trying to protect your sisters, but you don’t have to take that burden anymore. He needs locking away. He needs help to sort out what is so monumentally fucked up inside his head. Once he is in police custody you will be free. He won’t be able to hurt Lou or Ellie and especially you.” Dominic lifted his hand and stroked a soothing hypnotic trail down my cheek. “I love you too much to let him get away with how he’s hurt you.” He whispered.
I nodded “I understand, it’s just...I’m terrified of having to keep reliving every detail, every scar every...” I trailed off not wanting to voice the word swirling around in my head. “I don’t know if I can talk to strangers about what he did.”
“They have special officers trained for...they know how to deal with women in these circumstances.” Dominic added nervously.
mum cleared her throat “we are all here sweetheart to help you through it. But Dominic is right his brother needs help.” She paused when Dominic turned to fix her with such a disgusted glare. “Bollocks to him needing help, I pay my taxes and I resent that my hard earned cash is going
towards a cushy bloody life for him. Little bastards who beat and...do that to my daughter do not deserve bloody help.” Dad snapped.
“Alan will you curb the foul language.” She nodded towards me giving him the ‘not in front of the kids’ look and it made me smile.
“Sorry.” He grumbled and Dominic sniggered.
We sat quietly for a while before dad broke the silence and I knew that it was something that had been rolling around in his mind because it burst into the silence like a popped balloon.
“How did you hide it?” He took a deep breath as mum gasped and glared at him shaking her head. “I mean...we never saw you with a black eye or bust lips or...or...I mean yeah you weren’t as outgoing and stopped going to parties. And you had that whole moody teenager thing but I just assumed...when did he do it? Were we home? When did he get chance I just don’t understand...” He paused when I closed my eyes knowing he would hate the answers I gave. “Did he do it when we were home?”
I shook my head.
“When? And why did you have...you’re mum said he beat you...how did you not have bruises?”
“Are you accusing her of lying Alan? Because I’m telling you to shut the fuck up if you are.”
Dominic growled sitting forward in his seat. I put my hand on his knee to silently beg him to stay seated.
“What? No!” Dad looked shocked by Dominic’s outburst. “I meant how did we miss it?”
“Sounds to me like you –“ Dominic growled.
“Don’t argue she doesn’t need –“ mum ordered. But it was too late.
My heart started pounding; my vision blurred so I tightly closed my eyes and listened to the thump, thump, thump as the blood throbbed in my ears. I knew all three of them were arguing and talking over themselves but I couldn’t focus. My body shook, my chest hurt with the force of my pulse vibrating through me. I gasped for breath, choking myself trying to get more air into my lungs. I lifted my hand to my neck pulling at my too tight neckline. I opened my watery eyes and looked around the room; I shook my head to clear my blurry vision as mum dissolved into a smudged canvas of the room. I threw my head forward and closed my eyes and my hands gripped at my knees, praying I wouldn’t have a heart attack. I sucked in whatever air I could get, nothing helped the tightening in my chest.
“What’s wrong?” mum shrieked. I saw her blurry figure dash to me landing before me on her knees. I felt her small hands rub at my cheeks but her hands felt suffocating. The sofa beside me shifted and the next thing I knew I was airborne. Strong arms banded around my back and tucked securely under my knees. The smell of the Cool Ocean and fresh linen hit my senses and I nuzzled into the scent, my breathing calmed slightly and I gripped tighter at the comfort. I felt the rumble of his chest as he spoke to my parents. The buzzing in my ears dissipated as my focus returned.
“It’s a panic attack; she’s had them a few times at work. I’m going to take her to her room, she needs quiet and time to come round.” Dominic said as he held me in his arms.
“You are not taking her to her bedroom, that isn’t happening anymore –“
“Try and stop me” Dominic answered.
“Alan...” mum’s panicked voice interrupted what I assume was dad ‘stopping’ Dominic. “Think about it...without him I doubt we would have ever known. He loves her, and you know he wouldn’t do anything to hurt her.”
“I thought that about...his brother,” dad returned I could hear the anger in his voice. I snuggled further into Dominic’s arms.
“Fine.” Dominic snapped “Have it your own way dickhead.”
“Dominic.” gasped mum.
“Carry on lad.” Dad snapped taunting Dominic and I hated I had reduced these two men to this when they were so close.
Dominic moved us through the house quickly. I heard a door open I had yet to open my eyes and lift my head. My heart was still beating erratically, my head pounded with an oncoming headache but I kept my eyes tightly closed. I felt cold air hit me as we left the house.
“Eve, do you mind if I take you to my flat? I just think you need some quiet time to let the past few days settle. And your dad needs to calm down before I lay him out” my head rocked as his chest inflated on a deep breath. “I know we should go see Louise and explain but...I just think you need time baby. We can call the police from there too.” He kissed the top of my head and stoked his cheek over the top of my head.
I nodded into this jumper and clung tighter to him. “I’ll lift you into the car –“
“Dominic where are you going?” mum shouted.
“You aren’t taking her anywhere.” Dad shouted coming down the driveway.
“Try and stop me and I will put you down Alan. She doesn’t need this right now...stop acting like a frigging dick.” Dominic’s chest heaved as he stood in front of his car. “I don’t want to argue with you, she needs us...Alan come on. I’m not going to hurt her. I love her, you know I do and you know how long I’ve felt like this about her.”
I stared out of the windshield as the two men I loved most in the world squared up against the other and my heart cramped. I held my breath as they glared at one another, dad’s hands twitched at his sides. Dominic remained a statue of imposing strength.
Dad’s shoulders slumped and he nodded “I’m sorry...I just. I can’t believe he did that to her. I failed her.” He lifted his hand and pointed to me “I’m sorry okay? I didn’t mean –“
“I love her...I will never hurt her I swear. She is the one that holds all the power with me, I bloody worship her. I hate that I didn’t know either, a
nd I hate him so much I’m scared if I ever see him I will kill him” Dominic said with such emotion my eyes stung with fresh tears.
Dad didn’t answer but he nodded. He stepped forward and hugged Dominic and I swallowed the huge lump in my throat. Silent understanding swept between them both and I could almost see the mental agreement to keep me safe being drawn.
Chapter 24
I sat in Dominic’s flat, the strong smell of fresh paint made my head hurt. He had painted the kitchen a light apple green. The kitchen was set up as if someone already lived here, complete with accessories. But when you entered the lounge it was a DIY disaster zone. He had sheets thrown over his furniture, unclean paint trays and rollers left on the plastic covered floor as if he had just abandoned his task midway. I hadn’t made it through to the bedroom or bathroom, to be honest I was a little nervous as to what carnage would await.
I closed my eyes and leaned my head against the covered sofa. I felt exhausted after everything, a few days of crying, confession and purging my sins felt like a lifetime and it had completely floored me. I still couldn’t believe Dominic was still by my side after everything.
After a long hot shower, I put the large t-shirt he'd left on the bed for me, he’d left some shorts also, but I couldn't wear them because when I put them on they kept falling back down. His shirt hid enough; it buried me to the knees. I strolled into the kitchen to find him sitting at the breakfast bar sipping what I assumed was coffee. As if sensing me he turned to look at me.
"Hi.” I said shyly.
"Hi.” I saw him swallow harshly. "Erm...I..."
I smiled at him when he just sat there with his coffee suspended near his open mouth. He shook his head and cleared his throat "sorry.”
"What for?" I asked a little confused.
"I turned into a bit of a perv then.” He nodded at me "you look...well...you make a simple t-shirt sexy as hell.”
I felt my cheeks flush, and I fidgeted in the doorway. "Coffee?"
"Can I have a tea instead please? This late I won’t sleep if I drink coffee.”