by Hanna Noble
“Are we done with the first?”
“For now. We’ll come back to it later.” He raised an eyebrow. “Unless you have more to add on that topic?”
“No.” She looked away, not wanting to be charmed by his understanding, his humor.
“Ok, then. What’s wrong with you?” he repeated.
“I’m a psychic,” she snapped, hating his calm tone. She wanted him to snap back at her, to give her the excuse to storm away, to escape this conversation. “I sense things from people. Maybe I’m getting tired of it.”
“Things,” he repeated, and then went quiet. She squirmed, waiting for him to say something. She hated the silence, but took refuge in it. Without words, she didn’t have to confess the truth: that she was terrified being with him would destroy the Knowing or that the Knowing would destroy her relationship with him. She wanted to strengthen her gift and erase it in equal measures. She wanted to go and she wanted to stay. She didn’t know what to do.
“Look at me,” Cole’s voice was low. “Naomi.”
His hand reached out in a gentle touch and turned her head so she faced him. She met his gaze, saw nothing but patient understanding in them.
“I think something happened to you since I left,” he said, keeping her face in his hand so he could study her reaction. She must have given herself away, she realized as he nodded to himself. “I see.”
He dropped his hand and she missed his touch the instant it was gone. She wanted to curl back against him and pretend that none of this was true, that she could ignore what the future would bring.
“You. Me. Us. Boston,” he said again, his expression considering. “You had some sort of psychic episode today and it threw you off enough to make you doubt everything. My guess would be that it had to do with the killer’s ramped-up timeline. You’re on edge, and you’re pushing yourself. My being a cop worries you. You’re afraid you’ll be exposed to the darker side of human nature and that our relationship would be strained because of it. All this has made you question whether coming back to Boston and working on this case was a good idea.” He paused, and looked at her. “Now, you want to run to San Diego, but you’re not sure it will stop the visions from coming. How am I doing?”
She gaped at him.
“Don’t be so smug,” she muttered. “Just because you know all that doesn’t mean anything’s going to change.” She took a deep breath. “I do need some space to figure everything out. I want to go to San Diego.”
“You’re rattled because the killer is on the move,” Cole insisted. “We’ll get through this.”
“What if we can’t? What if he hurts someone again?” The idea of her being unable to prevent another woman’s death, of her having yet more blood on her hands, was unthinkable. She had spent so many months trying to rebuild herself, and now it was all at risk of shattering at the hands of the same sadistic killer.
“I’m not going to lie to you, I can’t predict what’s going to happen, but I do know running won’t solve anything. You can hide in San Diego, but you can’t run from your visions. You’ll still see and feel his evil, except you’ll be alone. I promised you I’d be there for you. I meant it.”
“You don’t know what you’re saying. What if by staying, I make this worse? I’ve already lost everything once. I don’t know if I can go through that again.” She looked at him, remembering all the anguish she’d felt, the nights she’d spent sobbing alone in her little house. “What if this breaks us? What if it breaks me?”
“I won’t let it.” Strong, determined words.
“How can you be so sure?”
“Because I’m falling for you.”
She sat back, stunned, the words hanging between them. Her heart filled with joy, but her head recoiled at yet another link in the chain that tied them together.
She could feel the edges of his emotions pulsing at her consciousness, surrounding her with the warmth of what he felt. It would be too easy to lose herself in his strength, to use her feelings for him as a distraction from the anxiety and dread. It would be too easy to forget the harsh reality that awaited them.
“How can you say that now, with everything going on?” She was scrambling to find solid ground, caught in a storm that threatened to blow her away. “You promised nothing would change between us until the case was finished.”
“Things change.” He looked unconcerned. “This is not how I imagined telling you, but I can’t help how I feel. You matter to me.” He moved closer and cupped her face again, his hands warm. “And I think I matter to you.”
“You don’t know that,” she said, shocked. “I don’t even know that.” She could hear the slight panic in her voice, felt blindsided. “I can’t think about this right now. Not when he’s out there, planning to hurt someone. Not when our being together could be a distraction.” She walked to the kitchen and put on the kettle, needing the familiar routine in the face of such emotional turbulence.
“Naomi—”
“Cole,” she interrupted. “Everything is getting tied up together. We need some space to separate the case from what’s happening between us. I need to figure out if this”—she gestured to him and then to herself—“is something I want. I’m leaving at the end of the week, remember? I’m going to start over and have a normal life.”
“You’re not normal,” his voice was calm, but Naomi could see the faint stirrings of impatience in his eyes. “You’re never going to be normal.”
She tried to hide the hurt she felt that he would point out her abnormalities. “I see.” She turned away and busied herself with reaching for a mug from the cabinet in front of her.
“No, you don’t.” He wrapped his arms around her from behind, trapping her against the counter. “You have a gift. The things that you can do, what you can see — that’s never going to be normal. You’re special, Naomi, and you need someone who gets that. You need someone who can understand you.”
“And you think you can?” She turned in his arms, wanting to see his face.
“I do,” he said simply. “Because I know you. Because you matter.”
She felt tears prick her eyes.
“You don’t have to say anything back,” he said as he reached over her to pull down her favorite mug and hand it to her. “I’m going to keep saying it until you believe in it. And in me. I want you to be happy, and if that means moving to San Diego, so be it.”
“What are you saying?”
“That I’ll go anywhere with you. You think they don’t need cops in San Diego?” His gaze was reassuring, steady. “Everything will work out.”
“I need to think about this.” She made her tea and walked back to the living room, taking a seat in one of the armchairs. “Aren’t you supposed to go to Leah’s party tonight?”
“I don’t feel right going while you’re in hiding.”
“You should go. I need time to think about all of this. To figure out what I want to do.”
“You want me to leave?” He looked hurt and her heart ached in response.
“Just for an hour or two. I think we both need a little distance.” She sighed, rubbing her temples. “I want to lie down anyway. We can talk about all this later.”
“I don’t want to leave you alone here.”
“No one knows I’m here, remember?” She sighed. “Please, Cole. I need to be alone.”
“If that’s what you want.” Cole walked over and crouched in front of her, his eyes clouded. “I know you’re scared, but you don’t have to be. The only future you can count on is the one you create yourself.” He walked to the stairs, then turned to face her. “I’ll be back in two hours. You have feelings for me, you know.” His voice was husky, low. “Don’t run away from this, from us.”
Naomi scowled as he walked away, lying back down on the couch, covering her face with her arm. Did she have feelings for him? Of course she did.
He was invading her heart, inch by inch until she felt like it would burst. She knew she was at the precipice of tu
mbling in love. He knew it too. It was one more thing that idiot was right about. Detective Know-It-All, always having the answers. The problem wasn’t that she didn’t love him.
It was whether their love would be enough.
Chapter Thirty-Six
Cole was doing his best to keep the scowl off his face, but was failing. He was not in a party mood. He walked into Leah’s apartment, forcing himself to look normal, happy even. The opposite of a man who had confessed his feelings and walked away with more uncertainty. He couldn’t even say the “L” word, terrified that Naomi would bolt.
He spotted Leah in the living room surrounded by friends and decided to wait a few minutes before saying hello. He needed to compose himself, get a beer and relax before he could be social. He checked his watch. He’d stay for half an hour and head home. He didn’t want to leave Naomi alone more than necessary.
“Woman trouble?” A sympathetic voice said from behind him, and Cole turned to see Eli looking casual yet elegant in navy slacks and a grey wool blazer worn over a crisp white shirt.
“Something like that,” Cole muttered in response, frowning at how everything with Naomi had been left so unsettled.
“A woman is the only thing that puts that look in a man’s eye. Here.” Eli handed him a cold beer. “You look like you need this more than I do. Try to cheer up before Leah sees you,” he said, as he strolled away to greet more arriving guests.
Cole picked a corner where he could take shelter behind a group of people socializing and drink his beer in peace. This was a birthday celebration for one of his closest friends, he reminded himself. It was not the time to wonder if he’d succeed in convincing Naomi that their future would include more than murders and bloody visions.
He took a sip of beer, letting the dark liquid smother his uncertainty. It felt like everything that mattered was slipping away: the case, Naomi, their future. He kept struggling to make sense of the pieces in front of him, to rearrange them in a way that would reveal the truth. He told himself to let it go for the moment, but his mind refused to listen. Case facts, snippets of interviews, images of crime scenes all circled in his mind. Being a detective was an essential part of his being, his tenacity to investigate every clue, follow every lead, all powered by the compulsive drive to protect those who couldn’t protect themselves.
He replayed Naomi’s visions in his mind, trying to make sense of the clues that were wrapped in riddles and delivered from a place that stumped his logical nature.
“Cole,” Michelle’s voice interrupted his thoughts. “I didn’t think you were coming. I thought you were going to stay at home with Nay.”
“Change of plans,” he replied, trying to keep the irritation out of his voice. “Long story.”
“Uh oh.” Her gaze turned speculative at his stony expression. “Is the honeymoon over already?”
He clenched his jaw, not in the mood to joke when his future hung in the balance. Some of his misery must have registered, because her expression turned sympathetic.
“She overthinks. A lot.” Michelle said, her voice softening. “It’s her way of compensating for her…intuitive abilities. I’m sure you’ll figure things out.” She looked over his shoulder, and widened her eyes. “Game face on, Walker,” she said, her voice low and urgent. “Leah and Owen just spotted us, and are coming this way. Unless you want a double cop interrogation, I’d get it together.”
Cole had managed to get his face to stop frowning when Leah and Owen approached.
“I come bearing the birthday girl,” Owen announced, pulling Leah forward.
“I decided to stop by for a quick beer,” Cole forced a smile on his face as he hugged Leah. “Happy birthday. Feel any wiser?”
She chuckled. “Not especially. I do feel more relaxed though. I treated myself to a massage. It was exactly what I needed.”
“A massage sounds lovely,” Michelle said with a touch of longing.
“You should ask Eli,” Leah responded, smirking at Owen’s look of muted outrage. “He knows all the best spots in the city. Oh, speak of the devil. Eli!” She called out across the room. “Come over here.”
“Have I been summoned?” Eli asked, coming to join them.
“There’s someone I’d like you to meet,” Leah said reaching for Michelle’s hand and pulling her forward. “This is Michelle, Owen’s famous sister. I’ve been trying to get you both in the same room for ages.”
“Michelle,” Eli reached out to shake her hand. “I read your Masters’ dissertation on dissecting the RAD52 function in DNA repair. I found your thesis to be intriguing and innovative.”
“Thank you,” Michelle shot him a surprised smile. “I’ve been hearing about your famous labs from my colleagues for months. Did you complete the experiments on the nano-electronic devices, Quantum dots, and their interactions with biomolecules?”
It was Eli’s turn to be impressed. “Yes, I’ve got a preliminary draft with me if you’d like to see it?”
“Of course!”
“I’ll be right back. I’m going to decant another few bottles of the Cabernet Sauvignon that I brought back from Napa. I’ll bring you a glass, you’ll love it.”
“Your brother is such a snob,” Owen muttered under his breath after Eli walked away. Cole had to stifle his own laugh, amused despite his mood.
Michelle arched a brow. “Some women appreciate a man with refined tastes. I’m sure he got Leah a wonderful gift for her birthday. You should pick up a pointer or two about the art of sibling present-giving.” She turned to face Leah. “What did he give you? I bet it was something gorgeous.”
“Eli’s gifts are always gorgeous.” Leah laughed. “A beautiful cashmere scarf and leather gloves.” She paused as Michelle ooh’d dramatically. “And this bracelet.” She held out her wrist for them to see.
The bracelet was simple and elegant, a small, delicate silver charm tied with a thin blue roped string. Michelle leaned closer to take a look. “What is it?”
“It’s an elephant, one of my favorite animals. He found it during one of his trips abroad somewhere.” Leah smiled fondly at it. “He gave me the charm and I picked out the string today.”
“That’s so thoughtful. It’s delicate and classic, the perfect gift for a sister.” Michelle glanced over at Owen with arched brows. “Do you need to take some notes, or will you be able to remember on your own?”
She ducked away as Owen tried to grab her. “I’m going to see if Eli needs a hand with that wine,” she called with an impish grin. “Try to learn a thing or two about being civilized while I’m gone.”
“She’s worse than you are,” he complained, tilting his head toward Cole. “I’m surrounded by smart-asses.”
“Easy there.” Cole held up his hands in mock surrender. “I’m an innocent bystander, admiring Leah’s beautiful bracelet.” He made a show of lifting her hand to peer closely at it. “I should take a picture to document this incredible show of good taste—I’ll e-mail it to you if you like, for reference.” He snapped a picture with his phone, laughing at Owen’s muttered growl.
Something about the little elephant charm pinged at his memory, seemed familiar to him somehow. There was something about this charm that was important and—
“Cole?” Leah’s amused voice cut off his train of thought. “Can I have my hand back?”
He realized he’d been peering at her wrist for an unnaturally long time. “Sorry,” he said, letting go and stepping back.
“You’re acting strange,” Owen said.
“I’m thinking,” he said absently, his gaze still focused on Leah’s wrist.
What was so familiar about the elephant and the blue string it was dangling on? Why was his eye drawn to it?
The elephant with a blue rope.
It hit him with a sudden clarity. He was staring at another piece of Naomi’s first vision, the one with the tiara and the red baseball cap. With a jolt, he realized there was another reason the charm was familiar: he’d seen it before—around
Lily’s neck. Everything inside him froze.
What did this mean? Was he so desperate to solve this case that he was seeing clues everywhere? Why would Eli have Lily’s necklace charm? Cole felt dirty even considering the possibility that the two might be connected.
“Earth to Cole.” Owen’s voice brought him back to reality and he looked at his partner, knowing some of the shock he was feeling was seeping through. “Ok, seriously. What’s up with you?”
“Nothing.” He shook his head, forcing himself to calm down, to step back and reevaluate what he was thinking. What he was considering. “Sorry.” He looked at Leah, unable to imagine the pain this would cause her if what he was thinking was right.
“Nature calls,” he said, feigning a smile. “I’ll catch up with you guys in a few minutes.”
Spotting a few people loitering outside the bathroom, he entered Leah’s bedroom and closed the door behind him. Glancing around the room, he caught a look of his reflection, a hint of panic in his eyes.
He was losing it.
There was no other explanation. The pressure of finding the Phantom, combined with the deadline of Naomi’s departure must have pushed him over the edge, into the land of delusions. What else could explain suspecting a man he’d known for years of something so horrible?
His brain, however, had other ideas, and with the cold efficiency that made him such a good detective he was scanning through every piece of information related to the case, examining the facts around this new and disturbing hypothesis. Eli was a member of the Yacht Club. He’d attended the gala two years ago. His name was on the list of the Winner’s Circle reception. No. He couldn’t bear thinking about it. He wouldn’t mention this to anyone, not without proof.
He’d go back home, reexamine the evidence. Maybe make an appointment with a shrink. He was overreacting, he told himself as he paced back and forth. He was spotting visions and connections where there weren’t any. He’d done it before, the last time around. So desperate to catch this guy that they’d attributed significance to something as simple as a red hat, and now he was doing the same thing with an elephant charm. Eli —