by Jenna Stone
“Yes. Yes it is,” I responded, nodding in agreement, thankful that I wasn’t the only one on edge.
He took another deep swallow of wine and set the bottle down on the table between us. My eyes lingered on his lips. His lips set in a hard line as he began to talk. I remembered how lovely it had felt to kiss him.
“I’m sorry about what ye heard this morning, between my brother and I. I’d not intended ye to be there. I’m sorry.”
Now he focused on his glass, refusing to make eye contact with me.
“I could tell,” I said, surprised at the harsh tone of my voice. He had made his thoughts about marrying me quite clear. Quite clear indeed.
“It was not as ye thought. I mean, it’s not that I don’t want tae marry ye.” His eyes met mine and held my gaze with an intense stare.
“Devon, there’s no need to lie. It was quite clear that you don’t want to marry me, and believe me, I don’t blame you.” I was not in the mood for excuses. “I don’t want to marry you either if that makes you feel any better.” I responded tartly, subconsciously admitting that my statement was a lie.
He smiled. “A blow straight to my heart,” he said, clasping his hand to his chest.
“I’ve come to explain why I don’t want to marry ye. I think that ye deserve an explanation.”
I straightened myself on the settee and looked directly into his green eyes. “You do not need to give me an excuse, Devon McClain. Whatever your reason is, I don’t need an explanation. You have no responsibility to me as far as I am concerned.” I had liked Devon from our first encounter in the great hall, in fact, I had been immediately attracted to him, yet I refused to allow him to be drawn further into my complicated situation.
Meeting my stare head on, the intensity in Devon’s eyes dared me to look away and I noted the manner in which he clenched his angular jaw as he searched for the correct words to respond with.
“Yer right, Kate. I’ve nae responsibility to ye and certainly no claim upon ye. But I do fancy ye, and I’ll put a claim on ye if need be so that I can offer ye my protection.”
“I don’t need protection,” I challenged his argument, but my traitorous heart sped up at the implication of his words.
“When it comes to my brother, all women need protection. He sees you as a pawn in his game. A possession tae use for profit,” he said firmly, meeting my gaze. “Collin will force ye tae marry, either tae me or the Cameron. Ye deserve more than that, Kate.”
The seriousness of his tone struck me.
“Collin knows that I doona want tae take a wife, that is part of the reason that he is forcing me tae wed ye. He takes great joy in controlling my life and it makes him feel powerful tae control me in such a way. He also kens that when the Cameron finds out that I’ve taken ye tae wife, he will be enraged. He’ll take it as a personal insult, damn the bastard! Most likely he will try to kill me himself.” Devon’s brows furrowed together as he contemplated the situation.
“Why does the Cameron Laird want to marry me?” I questioned, not grasping the reasons behind the Laird, currently at war with the McLains, wanting to have Katherine Berkshire for his wife.
“Money, mostly. But also, he’s been seeking an alliance with yer Da for years. He wants to secure an alliance with the Berkshires to secure a valuable trade route.”
“So he thinks that marrying me will help him align with my father?” I questioned, feeling strange claiming Kate Berkshire’s father as mine.
“That’s what he’s hoping. Yer father chose my Da over the Cameron initially, and I’m sure Cameron is happy tae have a second chance tae take ye tae wife.”
My stomach began to feel queasy the more we spoke about Katherine Berkshire’s father and her prospects of marriage. I knew that I would not be able to hide under her identity for much longer.
“Don’t marry me, Devon. Hide me away. Help me escape,” I pleaded, imploring him to help me elude this situation all together.
“It’s no that easy lass. If it were, I’d have already stolen ye away. Collin has his guards posted about the keep. They’ve been watching my every move. Have ye no noticed them watching ye as well? Ye are a very valuable possession tae my brother.”
Now I knew the reason for the constant presence around me in the keep. This explained the eyes that I felt following me as I moved about the halls. They had been watching us both.
“Why would your own brother do this to you? Can’t you just go talk to him again?”
“He’s made up his mind, Kate. Ye ken that Collin and I have never quite got on. I was very close with my Da, something that my brother was intensely jealous of.” Devon paused, swirling the wine in his glass. He brought the glass to his lips, inhaled deeply and took a large gulp of wine. “I willna allow him tae control my life,” the tone of his voice was firm, serious. “But I promise ye, Kate, that if ye become my wife, ye will have my protection, body and soul.”
The sentiment of this statement and all that it implied struck me deeply. I was flattered that any man would defend me with his life, and the way that Devon spoke of his body and soul made me feel warm inside. What would it be like to allow someone to protect me in that way, I wondered?
“Ye won’t have to be worrit about that Cameron bastard or my brother,” he said, taking a final gulp of wine before uncorking the bottle and refilling his glass. “It’s not that I don’t want tae marry ye lass. The problem is that I have nothing tae offer ye as a husband,” he said, speaking directly into my eyes, imploring me to understand. “I’m a warrior, a leader of men. It’s all I know. It’s what my Da trained me for.”
“What…” I started, and Devon quickly interjected before I could finish my question.
“I need to get this out, Kate. Just listen and I’ll explain,” he looked at me directly, green eyes gleaming. This was clearly difficult for him, and he took a deep breath, collecting his thoughts before continuing. “I’m the spare. My Da had an heir and a spare, and as the spare, I have nothing. Nay land, nay home, not much in the way of money or means tae provide for a wife. I’ve nothing tae offer ye. I’ve spent my life as a warrior and a wanderer, always seeking tae be away from here as much as possible.” I could feel the angst in his voice as he continued. “Collin knows this. He knows that a wife is a luxury that I canna afford.”
I was touched by his sincerity and surprised at his reason for wishing not to be married. Without thinking, I reached out and touched his hand, feeling him jerk under my touch. He always seemed to be so deeply affected by my presence and my touch. My hand seemed small and light in contrast to his large, work-hardened masculine hand. I squeezed his hand in assurance as I looked into his eyes, willing him to continue.
“He’s come up with a tidy solution tae two of his problems with this marriage. By forcing us tae wed, he can secure your dowry for the McClain coffers and he thinks that having a wife will settle me down so that he can keep a watchful eye on me. Plus, angering the Cameron by forcing us tae wed is an added bonus for my brother.”
“We won’t have to settle down. You could keep doing what you do, and well, I guess I can stay here when you’re gone,” I said, trying to offer a solution. I was surprised to find that suddenly I did want this marriage and the security that it would offer me. When Devon had vowed to protect me, I had believed him. I also wanted to avoid marriage to the Cameron laird at all costs.
“It’s not that easy, Kate. If ye become my wife, your welcome will be soon worn out at the keep. I’d never leave ye in such a dangerous place. There’s been much unrest since my Da died and I fear that Collin wouldna treat ye kindly. Once he has the dowry in hand, yer safety and health will nae longer be of much concern tae him.”
“Damn him!” I said, starting to understand the complexity of Devon’s relationship with his older brother.
My exclamation caused Devon to smile and chuckle under his breath. “I’ve never heard a lass speak like ye do, except for maybe down at the harbor. Maybe yer not fit tae wed with a mouth lik
e that,” he chided.
My face flushed pink and I was suddenly embarrassed by my un-ladylike outburst.
“Collin will know that I would do anything tae protect my wife and I assure you that he would use ye against me if given the chance. In fact, I’m surprise he hasna killed me himself.”
“Your brother would really kill you?” I exclaimed in disbelief.
“Och, aye! And without a second thought or a bit of guilt! Devon laughed. “Collin desperately needs a son. He’s without an heir to his Lairdship, and as such, if something happens to him, I become Laird.”
“And so he seeks to remove you as a threat,” I said, deepening my understanding of the ever present tension between the brothers.
“I imagine he dreams of me plotting his demise and smothering his bairns tae secure my right,” Devon said, eyes down cast at his now empty glass. He reached for the bottle of wine and topped my glass off before refilling his own.
“So, to ease his mind, he would kill you?” I questioned, taken aback such ruthlessness between brothers.
“Aye, or even more conveniently, anger the Camerons so that they will take care of the deed for him. If I weren’t so deft with a sword, I’d probably no have made it tae the ripe age of twenty-six. Do ye understand my plight now, lass?” his eyes quarried my own. “It’s not that I don’t want ye, but that I canna have ye. I couldna live with myself, knowing that I had marrit ye for selfish reasons, dragging ye into God knows what kind of danger.”
“What selfish reasons?” I asked, color flushing my face from my boldness.
Devon raked his hand through his hair and looked up at me from beneath his heavy lashes. “I want ye, Kate,” he admitted huskily as his eyes held my gaze. “I ken that it’s selfish and most likely a deadly sin, but when ye look at me and when ye kiss me, I feel like I might die from the shear joy of it,” he confessed, reaching out to brush my cheek with the palm of his hand.
My heart beat faster in response to his open confession and I bit my lip to repress a smile.
Devon leaned forward and claimed my lips in the most gentle of kisses, causing my heart to race faster in response to his touch, his lips against mine.
He pulled away slightly and said, “And it’s because I want ye sae badly, because of my selfish desires, that I’m afraid.”
I knew for a fact that Devon McClain was never afraid of anything.
Although I found Devon devilishly sexy, and had been attracted to both his wit and his body from our first encounter, I had no claim on this man. The offer of his protection was enticing and I was secretly pleased to discover that he did in fact want me, but felt that he couldn’t have me due to his situation. I had my own selfish reasons for suddenly wanting to marry Devon McClain. I was beginning to believe that I needed Devon. I was also beginning to believe that I might in fact want to marry him.
I looked at Devon and at the desire that was so evident in his eyes, and I was emboldened by what I saw. Leaning forward, I traced the curve of his masculine jaw, the bristle of his stubble tickling my fingers. “I have my own selfish reasons, Devon McClain, and…I want you too,” I confessed, surprising myself.
His lips curled in the beginning of a smile and I pressed my lips to his, eliciting a low growl of approval from deep in his throat. His kiss was more urgent now, more demanding, and I opened my mouth in response. His tongue drove into my mouth, staking claim as it dueled with my own. My arms were around his neck, toying with his hair as I welcomed his desirous kiss, meeting his need with my own. It was true. I wanted him back, damn the consequences.
Devon broke the kiss, breathing heavily. I felt wanton and free, having admitted so openly my attraction, having kissed him back so freely. Devon straightened and pulled away from me, trying to collect his thoughts. He appeared to be as shaken by our kiss as I was.
“Well, lass, I think that there is something that I need tae ask ye,” intense green eyes studied me over the rim of his wine glass as he took a deep dreg of wine. “I ken that this isna what ye had planned,” he breathed out slowly, trying to collect his thoughts. “I ken that ye thought that ye were coming here tae marry the laird, and now ye might be stuck with me, penniless lout that I am. I thought that even though we have little choice in this matter, that if we do go though with it, I should ask ye will ye have me as yer husband?”
He set his glass on the table and moved from the settee. Then the beautiful man before me dropped slowly to one knee. He looked directly into my eyes, and asked me with palpable sincerity, “Will ye marry me, Kate?”
I almost choked on my wine.
Chapter Eight
“Ye look lovely, lass,” Collin greeted me as I entered the small stone chapel.
“Like a lamb being led to slaughter?” I smiled my broadest smile, sarcasm heavy in my voice. I did not like Collin and loathed the fact that he was to shortly become my brother-in-law.
“Weel, that’s not exactly what I was thinking. I canna even give ye a compliment on yer wedding day?” he feigned innocence and good will in a most lame attempt. “Ye are to become my good-sister today. I’d hoped that we could patch up our poor relations and start fresh.”
“How convenient for you,” my voice was cold and dismissive. I had no love for this man and could not find it within myself to entertain his empty attempts at conversation. “I need a few moments to get ready,” I said, looking towards the door of the enclave, encouraging Collin to take his leave.
“As ye wish, but doona take tae long,” he said, as he turned around and walked briskly from the room.
The small enclave towards the back of the chapel was flooded with maids, who fluttered about me making last minute preparations for the ceremony. My cheeks were pinched for color and my hair held so many pins that my scalp ached from their weight.
“I think that’ll do mistress,” Milly clucked and she added a final pin to secure a stray curl. She stood back to admire her handiwork, and then bent down to adjust a fold in my midnight blue satin gown. “This must have cost him a fortune,” she murmured as she brushed at the fabric, willing it to lie perfectly as it cascaded to the floor.
“Cost who a fortune?” I inquired, “I know that the Laird wants to get rid of me, so I’m sure that he would pay a pretty penny to have me dressed up if that is what it takes to collect my dowry!”
“Och, lass! The Laird wouldna have cared if you wore your shift tae be marrit! He was hard pressed to allow the wedding to take place here at the chapel, but Devon insisted that ye be wed in Kirk. Rumor was that the Laird wanted the two of ye marrit by the priest as quickly and quietly as possible. He wanted this deal neatly tied up.”
“So Devon refused?” I questioned.
“Aye. He caused quite a fuss, yellin’ at his brother, threatening him with all sorts of awful things. When these two go after each other, they cause a commotion fit to tear down the keep! Brothers will squabble ye ken, but these two ha never got on well. Collin being the oldest, and feeling like his poor mam was replaced when the Laird marrit Devon’s mam and started a new family. Collin never forgave his Da for that, but what’s a man to do when his wife dies? Ye cannot begrudge a man, especially a Laird, the desire for a new wife to warm his bed.”
“I suppose that was hard for Collin. How old was he when his mother died?” I followed, continuing the conversation in an effort to remove the thought from my head of the immanency of me being a wife, and the expectation of warming my husband’s bed.
“Ten or so, I would imagine. Old enough to know what was going on and certainly old enough to feel put out by his Da.” There was an uncomfortable pause as Milly judged just how much history she should divulge about the Laird’s upbringing and family squabbles.
“But, as for yer dress lass, Devon bought this for ye,” Milly steered the course of the conversation back to less troubled waters. “That was his other condition to his brother. He wanted you to have a proper wedding, in Kirk, with a dress so that ye might feel that this wedding was wanted.” Milly l
ooked up at me, searching for my response. It was clear that she had quite a soft spot for Devon, having known him all her life.
“Oh, I didn’t know.” I looked down at the dress. It was beautiful, and quite extravagant. It was made of the deepest blue satin fabric, a color that accentuated my pale complexion and auburn hair perfectly. What surprised me the most was the fit. The dress fit me like a glove. The simple elegance of the gown was understated. There was no beading or ruffles, remittances that suited me perfectly. The neckline was wide cut into a low boat neck. The bodice was fitted, with laces at the back of the dress to bind it tightly to my body, causing my breasts to peek out seductively atop the neckline. I loved the dress and I couldn’t help but feel beautiful. Somehow I knew that Devon had picked the dress out himself, knowing that it was perfect for me. I was quite taken aback by his care for my feelings.
“Why didn’t anyone tell me that he bought this dress?”
“For one, ye didna ask. Secondly, that’s how Devon is lass. He’s generous to a fault, often beyond his means. When he bought ye the dress, he wasn’t looking for appreciation from you. He was making an offering of good will. Or at the very least, an offering of what might be between the two of ye in time.”
My hand rose to the satin bodice and I felt a glimmer of hope about my future with this man that was soon to become my husband. Any man that cared about something as simple as a wedding dress, knowing how much such an object would mean to a woman on her wedding day, was surely a good one.
“Ye look lovely, lass.” Milly stood back and admired her masterpiece.
“Thank you, Milly,” I said as I forced a smile. I had been pinched, prodded and fluffed, but begrudgingly, I had to admit that I felt pretty in this dress, my wedding dress. Milly had done well. My dark auburn curls had been pinned up and fell loosely about my shoulders. The dress fit me like a glove, and accentuated my small waist perfectly. With each breath, my breasts rose and fell above the low neckline. The cut of the dress showed them off to their best advantage.