by Jason Letts
“Shoot! We’re not going to make it,” Keenan said. I jerked my head in surprise.
“What, the weather?” The snow was piling up, but I’d seen worse.
“No, the charge on the car isn’t going to make it all the way back. To be honest I haven’t had the car all that long and this is the first real trip I’ve taken with it. I was already feeling bad about having this expensive thing after losing all of our clients, but right now I don’t know what I wouldn’t give to have my old Outback back. We’re going to have to find a charging station.”
I nodded and pulled out my phone to help locate the next one, which happened to be another twenty minutes down the road farther into Connecticut. The charging station consisted of a white and red unit at the end of an empty parking lot a short distance from the highway, like a lonely gas pump with nothing around it. When Keenan opened the door to get out and hook up the car, I was blasted with icy cold air and snow. He got back in, saw that I was shivering, and turned the heat on high. After that, he went back to staring blankly forward as he had so often done while driving.
“How long is it going to take?” I asked.
“It would take under ninety minutes to charge up all the way. I figure about an hour would be enough for us to comfortably return even if there are some traffic snags,” he said.
I nodded and looked around to find a few illuminated signs in the darkness around us. A Sonoco station, a Home Depot in the distance, and a Five Guys burger restaurant on a nearby corner. I debated whether trudging through the snow to any of these places was going to be a good way to spend the time.
“I lied to you earlier,” Keenan blurted out.
“What? About what?”
Keenan sighed and gripped the steering wheel with both hands, slowly turning his head to look in my direction.
“But I was lying to myself as well. When I said I’d be fine if Mouse Roar collapsed and I had to move on to pursue other interests, I wish it was true. I don’t know if I could get over having my company pulverized like this. And when I said I didn’t care about the money or fame. That was a lie too. Maybe early on it didn’t mean anything to me, but now I realize just how painful it would be to lose all of that. I still might have to, probably will have to, but it’s not going to be pretty. All of my studying has made me aware of how strange the person I’ve become is.”
“You’re going to make it through this, even if Mana Foundries doesn’t agree to a deal,” I said with confidence. “And I can sympathize with getting used to things you never thought you would.”
Somehow me sitting next to Keenan Roche felt perfectly natural when it was actually something I wouldn’t have believed if it popped up in my wildest dreams.
“What do you want?” I’m not sure what hit me harder, the sound of the words in my ear or the feeling of his eyes on me. I took a deep breath. He’d asked me this question before and I’d said something about doing a good job, but I took the risk and said something more than that.
“Sometimes I wish I had the power to rewrite all the rules how I wanted, to personally hand out justice, to fix things that are wrong just by speaking up. I don’t know what that really means in reality. What I want is for people to live up to my idea of how they’re supposed to be,” I said.
Keenan nodded with his knuckles to his mouth.
“That sounds pretty good,” he said. “What I want is to kiss you. Can I do that?”
“Yes,” I said before I could even think about it. I caught a glimpse of him moistening his pretty lips as he leaned in, and then I felt them against mine just as something warm swept over my entire body. His lips, the soft stubble of his cheek, the hand he had touching the back of my head all made me want more, more, more. I opened my eyes for a moment just because I wanted to see his handsome face a little more, but I closed them again as I was swept away by the pleasure of feeling his tongue through a deep, wet kiss.
I’m not sure when I realized his hand was on my knee and sliding up my leg under my skirt. My heart was beating out of control, and the only thing that seemed to register was how big and close he was. His lips pulled away but were still tantalizingly close.
“Can I take off your clothes?”
“Yes.”
He tilted his head, indicating the back seat and its sleek, black, upholstery. There were two ways to get there, but I wasn’t going to climb through between the front seats and get French fries smeared all over myself. Ducking outside and pulling the back door closed behind me, the cold barely registered. I watched him climb in from the other side and approach me, seemingly taking up all of the rest of the space in the back seat.
We were each breathing hard as he pulled off my jacket. My shirt had buttons, and he undid them one after another with such haste that I wondered if he’d just give up and tear the thing off me. Seeing my cleavage and part of my stomach exposed put a hungry smile on his face, and he closed in for more deep kisses. Now he was close enough for me to fumble with the buttons on his shirt, stopping only so my shirtsleeves could be pulled off my arms.
I was in heaven when his finally came off. I marveled at his smooth skin and hard stomach. My fingers could’ve caught fire caressing his pecs and crawling up toward his strong, thick shoulders. His body was beautiful, but the look in his eyes was tender and loving. I felt safe and protected.
He lowered himself onto me, his weight making every inch of my skin fill with pleasure. His lips were everywhere, on mine, on my neck, on my chest. I sensed his erection through his pants for the first time as it pressed against my leg. I started getting lightheaded and had to take a deep breath. His hands were pushing my skirt up to my hips. As he leaned against me I could feel the pressure intimately.
“Can I come inside you?”
“Please.”
I was surprised I could manage to speak, much less successfully unfasten his belt. He had slipped off my panties and together we tugged down his pants. When his big, hard penis became exposed I couldn’t wait any longer. I took it in my hand and guided him closer to me. I released a quivering breath as I felt him enter me, sliding deeper and deeper. I wasn’t usually a moaner, but I moaned.
In any other circumstance, I wouldn’t have been too happy about having my head against the door at an awkward angle or one foot against the roof and the other dangling under the driver’s seat, but at the moment everything felt too good to care. For some reason I couldn’t get over how sexy his asking was.
We pressed our hips together hard and I couldn’t get over his power and strength. Every now and then our eyes would lock and it was like I could see into him. Every part of us was connected. It was also easy to appreciate that he didn’t need to try to move into a dozen different positions. This was working so well and neither of us wanted it to stop.
The force and the movement made his skin moisten under my fingertips the tiniest bit. His breathing was getting harder as he got close to climax. I decided to help him along by reaching down with both hands and squeezing hard on his buttocks. I could tell he loved it. He strained and came a few thrusts later with an unbelievably intense throb that set me off immediately.
And then we were lying there, catching our breaths as we slowed down to motionlessness. I held him against me, my head spinning, wondering if it had all been a dream. The minutes ticked away, we caught eyes again and smiled at each other. Somehow nothing needed to be said and we drifted through time together.
He moved first, but before he raised himself off of me he kissed me again, and this one may have been my favorite of all. Sweet, short, and simple, it was the cherry on top of it all. We put our clothing back on slowly, and I stole as many looks at the body I’d just been touching as I could. If the car needed to charge for another three or four more hours so we could do it all again, I wouldn’t have minded.
Once we were dressed, Keenan stepped outside to check. I braced myself for a return to the front seat, and this time it felt like I had jumped head first into the Arctic Ocean. I couldn’t g
et back inside fast enough. When I was back in and seated, I watched his shadowy form in the darkness through the foggy glass. I helped myself to a few of the French fries while he was gone.
“We’ll be ready to go in another ten minutes,” he said.
“OK.”
“My guess is it’ll be around six or seven by the time we get back. Do you want to come back to my place?”
He could’ve asked me if I wanted to go to the moon and I would’ve said yes, but I was immediately hit by some practical considerations.
“All right. But I’ll need to leave really early in the morning so I can stop at my apartment before going in to work,” I said. I trusted that he could figure out that showing up to work the next day wearing the same clothes and seeing Chelsea and Lena was something that had to be avoided at all costs.
“No problem,” he said.
After the aforementioned amount of time had passed, Keenan unhooked the car and got us back onto the highway headed toward the city. The warm, tingly sensation continued to fill me up.
“Why don’t you order pizza and we can have it delivered right after we get in?”
“Sure,” I said, pulling out my phone and beginning to look up pizza places. “Where should I have them send it to?”
He told me his address, which I knew was in the Upper East Side not too far from the park. It went without saying that the apartment must’ve cost a fortune and was the kind of place I’d never set foot in. I felt like I was finally going to see beyond the suave exterior that Keenan carried with him around work. There was something underneath, the side of him that he didn’t show to the world. Right now I could only guess what was in it, but soon enough I was going to find out.
CHAPTER 9
The doorman, holding open the door for us, had a big smile and throaty greeting for Mr. Roche but didn’t spare so much as a look for me. That was all for the better, because I didn’t want to get a sense of what it meant that I was the latest in a long string of women he’d brought home. The polished floors, the art on the walls of the lobby, it made my building look like a prison, or one of those terrifying gray edifices in China where they cram all of the people who make things for Wal-Mart.
In the elevator, he hit the button for the very top floor but then broke out into laughter and quickly jabbed the button for the second.
“I’m just kidding. I think somebody from India bought the penthouse and only stays there one night a year. Can you imagine?”
I couldn’t, not when I was reeling about how the elevator didn’t make you feel like it was going to fall off its hinges as it opened. We strolled out into a carpeted hallway, nice, but nothing fancier than you’d see in your average hotel. The door was a light shade of brown, with 2G in gold lettering on it.
When Keenan opened the door, I realized I was holding my breath about what I was going to see. Chandeliers? In-home theater? Bowling alley? Anything seemed possible. But as he pushed it open and flicked on the light to a normal ceiling fixture that lit up a tasteful but modest receiving room that doubled as a dining room with a table that could only really seat four, I quickly had to lower my expectations.
Peeking around while he put away my coat, I caught a glimpse of the kitchen in one direction and a living room in the other, which appeared to also lead into the bedroom. Presumably there was a bathroom somewhere, but that looked to be it. Five rooms, certainly a comfortable amount of space for an individual or a couple, but nothing ostentatious. It struck me that this is the kind of place I’d have a good shot at living in if I were anywhere but in this city.
And then there was something about that thought that made the place even more desirable to me, that it was real and should’ve been attainable, not something out of a fairytale castle. It wasn’t until Keenan spoke that I realized I hadn’t been paying him much attention, but that turned out to have been fine since he was absorbed in his phone.
“Can you give me a bit? I’ve got to take care of some things,” he said. “Maybe keep an ear out for the buzzer when the pizza gets here.”
I nodded as he drifted out of the room with his head down and his thumbs working furiously on the little screen. He headed toward the kitchen and I gravitated along behind him, noticing that the stone countertops and the sleek silver refrigerator with two doors were very nice. The place was cleaner than I expected, although there were a few things out here and there. Among them were three bottles of NyQuil by the sink, two completely empty and one half empty.
“Oh, do you have a cold?” I blurted out.
“No,” he said, slipping away back to the living room. I then heard him close the door to his bedroom.
I continued to look around, noting from his well-decorated dining room that if I’d targeted him during my evaluation I would’ve passed with flying colors. But other parts of the apartment were not as immaculate. I opened the fridge to find expired milk, a few empty shelves, and at least a dozen unopened containers of salsa. The living room had t-shirts draped around the couch and smelled faintly like a locker room, which it may have passed for on occasion. Dumbbells, straps, and bands were jumbled together in a corner.
Keenan didn’t emerge until the pizza came a half an hour later. I didn’t know what he’d been doing before we sat down on opposite sides of the large Hawaiian pizza, but it seemed to have reintroduced a lot of his former tenseness.
“Coconut water?” He pulled a container of it from a cupboard within arm’s reach and poured two glasses before I answered.
“This pizza is really good. I didn’t have any idea this place even existed until you had me look. Maybe they have a way of hiding themselves from people looking for pizza in my area,” I said.
He smiled faintly and proceeded to eat half of the pizza. It was then that he noticed I’d been finished for a while.
“Is that all you’re going to have?”
“I’m stuffed. Two slices was more than enough for me,” I said. He nodded skeptically and left again with his phone while muttering an apology.
I wish I could say that more magic happened that night, but it seemed the precarious position of the business was really weighing on him. I watched Netflix until he came in to join me, but after only fifteen minutes together he announced that he was heading in for bed and got up.
“Can I come in?” I asked, leaning against the doorframe.
“Come on over,” he said with some enthusiasm, pulling off some of the forest-green comforter for me. After a few minutes of snuggling, I noticed he was out cold. Sometime later I drifted off too.
The morning dropped on me like snow sliding off a roof. It was already after seven and I had to rush to get out and get home to change. I’d barely left his apartment before I began to have my doubts about what Keenan and I just went through. Was this the start of something important for both of us, or would he treat it as a fling and close himself off to me?
I barely made it to work on time, although I had come in after Keenan and Lena did, which couldn’t have made a good impression. Chelsea came in with warm smiles and loud good mornings for everyone, making me wonder what she was so happy about. I took another look at Lena and waited until Chelsea had excused herself to go to the bathroom to initiate a conversation.
“I’m sorry about not being here for your first day. It was probably a little jarring to go through that after leaving your old job. Did everything go OK?” I asked.
Lena nodded and shrugged, which could’ve meant anything, as I well knew.
“Did Chelsea help get you started?” I asked, and this time Lena’s affirmative response was more emphatic.
“Oh yes, she was extremely helpful,” Lena said. I smiled.
“Fabulous, that’s what I figured. I should just say that I do want to create an open atmosphere here, so if anyone does say anything that troubles you or hints that people are trying to get personal about things, I hope you’ll feel comfortable coming to me immediately. Your concerns will be listened to and addressed without fail.”
I was hoping she’d tell me more about her conversations with Chelsea, but instead Lena simply got back to work. For some reason not hearing about anything being discussed between them felt worse than if Chelsea had told her all about me. But if they actually did manage to have a friendly day and focus on work, it was all for the better.
Keenan was in a better mood today too, and I didn’t mind it when I went to see him and he got personal right away.
“Anything from Mana Foundries?” I asked.
“Not yet,” he said. “But I remembered I had booked a skiing trip up to the Catskills this weekend. It might be nice to blow off some steam. You want to come with me?”
It was hard not to light up like the Christmas tree at Rockefeller center.
“Yeah, that sounds great. And I’m even slightly better at skiing than I am at eating with chopsticks,” I said.
But Keenan’s mood soured when Mana Foundries didn’t call that afternoon or the next day either. I got an email from him right before the end of the day on Thursday that had to be painful for him to write. He’d written how he wasn’t sure how long he was going to be able to keep running the company with no revenue. I could sympathize when he said how terrible he would feel if he had to let Lena go immediately after convincing her to leave her other job.
The anxiety of waiting came to a swift end early the next day when the office phone rang. I answered it and heard it was one of the Chrises. Keenan pointed to his office and I connected the call over there while saying a silent prayer. Ten minutes later he called me into his office, and I found him looking strangely calm.
“They said it’s not going to happen. It’s too big of a risk for them, going with digital marketing when they feel like phone calls and meetings are the only way for them to get any business. It’s really asinine,” he said.
“I’m so sorry,” I said, glad at least that Keenan was being tough about it. There were times when I thought that he’d have his face in his hands if this happened, but his strength was enduring.