by Jenny Rabe
They pulled up to the docks and parked. A long line of people stretched along the boardwalk and led to a mini cruise ship.
Dean studied the boat with appreciation. Black on the bottom with a wide bow, making it seem like the stern of the boat never stopped. Already the lights were on, illuminating the dining cabin inside. Fancy bar stools lined the sides of the boat, and decorative pillars held up three floors. Dean’s boat would look like a child’s toy next to it.
“He must’ve rented the whole thing.” Emilie bit her nail and scanned the crowd.
He resisted the temptation to reach for her hand and mentally patted himself on the back when he kept his hands firmly on his seatbelt. “Before we go, I want to make sure we’re on the same page. You still want to keep up this image that we’re engaged? I kind of threw that at you, and we’re about to meet a lot of people.”
She looked out the window as Finn and Ava passed the truck, holding hands and making eyes at each other. “Yes, I’m still in.”
Worry squeezed his lungs. There was a good chance she still had feelings for Finn and no room in her heart for him. Nope, he wouldn’t let that happen. Without saying another word, he released his grip on the belt and climbed out of the truck. He took thirty seconds to grab the jackets in the back and walk around and open her door.
She glanced at the jackets in his arms. “It’s hot tonight. Why did you bring those?”
The distraction loosened his tongue. “You’re not cold right now, but the breeze will be cool.” Her attention was on Finn and Ava as they talked with another couple. Her lips pressed into a pout.
Dean gritted his teeth. Her jealousy was expected, but her fixation on Finn still bothered him. “Ready to go?”
Her smile appeared forced as she pulled her attention back to him. “Yeah, let’s get in line.” She slipped her fingers into his free hand, sending tingles up his arm. So much for keeping a physical distance. If she initiated it, he wouldn’t say no.
Whenever they passed one of Finn’s relatives, she squeezed his hand tighter. It took everything he had not to overthink every touch. Her gentle hand squeezes were only a gesture of needing support, so he squeezed back halfheartedly.
They joined the back of the line while Finn and Ava started their welcome speech. Emilie stood in front of Dean, leaning against his chest. He pulled her in closer and whispered in her ear. “Everything okay?”
She shivered. “I’m fine, and that tickles.” Instead of moving away like he thought she’d do, she put all her weight against him, and he had to slip his arms around her to keep her steady, or that’s how he justified it. Either way was fine with him.
When the line started to board the cruise ship, he was in no hurry to move. She pulled away first but turned around to whisper in his ear. “Let’s make this look real.”
The hair on his arms shot straight up as every nerve in his body tingled. Holy smokes! He shoved his hands in his pockets to keep from grabbing her and running back to the truck. The cruise hadn’t even started, and he was keyed up.
Dean led them toward the bow to get away from the crowds heading to the dining room. There had to be a private place he could spill everything. Emilie had other ideas. She pulled him toward a crowd standing by the railing and moved in front of him again.
“Can you hold me again? That was nice.” No need to ask twice. His arms were around her in seconds, crowd or not. He rested his chin on her shoulder and once everyone was loaded, they watched while the boat pulled out and headed to deeper waters.
A few minutes after the boat moved at full speed, he looked at Emilie. Her eyes were shut tightly, her face a pale white.
“Ah, Emilie. I should’ve given you the nausea pill earlier.” He sat her down at a bench. “I’ll go get it. Be right back.”
He found a can of ginger ale and returned to where he’d left her. Except she wasn’t there. He searched frantically among the crowd, but she had disappeared.
“Of course, Emilie had to get sick on my special night. She’s just wanting attention. Leave her alone.” Ava’s shrill voice pierced the night like the screech of a seagull. He followed her voice to where a crowd backed away from someone leaning over the railing. Darn it! He hadn’t made it in time
He ran to her, moving nosier people out of the way. Emilie’s hair covered her face as she continued to lose the contents of her stomach. He looked down at the water and sighed. He held Emilie’s hair back until she finished.
An older gentleman brought him a few paper towels. “Thought you could use these, son.”
Dean gave him an appreciative look since no one else seemed to care, not even Ava. Some friend she was. “Thank you.” He took the paper towels and led Emilie to a bench to clean her up. He handed her the soda and a little white pill he’d stuffed in his pocket at the house. “First, here’s some nausea medicine. I meant to give it to you before we got on the boat.”
She took the pill in one gulp and leaned her head against his shoulder as he wiped any spittle away. The smell of sick hung thickly in the air around them, and he shooed away anyone who tried to get close. Her head wobbled against him, and he touched the sides of her waist, not wanting to hold her close.
When she was steady enough, he walked her to the bathroom to wash up and then the two of them returned to a bench to rest. He wasn’t sure what the rest of the wedding party was doing and didn’t care. Taking care of Emilie was the best part of his day, heck, even his week. He looked at the water, spotting dolphins swimming alongside the boat. Their happy squeals lightened the air.
She lifted her head and gave him a weak smile. “It’s been a while since I’ve been on the water and thought I would’ve outgrown my seasickness by now. I ruined tonight, huh?”
He rubbed a thumb down her cheek and shook his head. “Not at all. You’re just in time to see some whales.” He pointed as one lifted its tail and slapped it against the water.
She grinned and squealed, right when the rest of the boat noticed and crowded the railing in front of them.
He sighed and reached forward to motion to the people in front of them to move.
She pulled back his arm. “It’s okay. I’m too weak to stand. Besides, I have the best pillow.” Her voice was scratchy and hoarse. He handed her the soda again.
When the crowd moved to another spot, Emilie sat up. “I’m better. Will you stand with me at the rail to watch? It’s been a while since I’ve seen them up close.” When they reached the edge, the boat slowed down to a stop to stay with a group of whales swimming together. A whale jumped in the air right in front of them, sending a spray of water their way. Dean moved his shoulder in front of her just in time.
She giggled and patted his damp shoulder. “You saved me again.”
He put his arms around her once more, and they turned back to the whales. A sense of awe swept over him as he shared a moment with the woman of his heart. He covered her hands on the railing, lacing his fingers with hers, her back pressed against him. When she smiled back at him, his core melted.
The breezy wind slapped across their faces, and occasionally she hid her face in his shirt. Sweat dripped down his back but he didn’t budge. The salty tang on his lips and the touch of her arms against his was enough to ignore everything else.
“There’s a baby whale with its mom.” He leaned forward, seeing Emilie out of the corner of his eye. Her adorable face was red and chapped from the wind. “So cute.”
No longer able to hold back, he spun her around until she faced him. “You’re cuter than any baby whale.”
“You think?”
He chuckled and touched his forehead against hers. “Absolutely.” He leaned into her until the tip of his chin touched her soft face. It was the perfect time. Anxiety and desire wreaked havoc in his body.
Her lips were only inches away. She blinked up at him, giving him a shy smile. That was the sign he was waiting for. He leaned in and moved slowly toward her mouth. Before their lips could touch, she turned her face, leavin
g nothing but salty air between them. His bravery fell to the pit of his knotting stomach.
“Folks, we’ll be heading back in a few minutes.” The loudspeaker blared in their ears, driving the distance between them even further.
Emilie gave him a sheepish look and focused on seeing the whales one last time.
So close. Dean glared at the intercom speaker, ready to rip it from the wall. Watching the whales was nothing new to a fisherman. All he wanted to do was gaze into Emilie’s eyes again, to be so close to her lips. To tell her the truths in his heart.
But there wasn’t another chance.
The crowd from the dining area fought for space along the railing, wanting one more spotting of the whales before they returned.
He stood a safe distance away and kept his hands shoved tightly into his pant pockets.
He pressed his back against the railing and looked away from the water. The happy bubbly feeling turned to shattering ice inside his chest and melted into a pathetic puddle of regret.
He tapped Emilie’s shoulder. “I’m going to get a coke. Do you want one?”
She lifted the empty can of ginger ale and shook it. “Thanks. That’d be great.”
“Be right back.” His legs couldn’t move fast enough to the starboard side of the boat. A minute away from her to think was what he needed. He ordered the Cokes and sat down to wait.
A familiar person next to him caught his attention. What was Ava doing at the bar alone, a tall glass of something dark in her hands?
She gave him a sour look and lifted her glass. “Good to see you.”
He nodded but didn’t speak. Dean glanced around for Finn, but the barroom was practically empty. For a second, he felt sorry for Ava, who was miserable even at her own party. But then he remembered how horrible she’d been to Emilie earlier at the dress shop.
“You okay?” he finally asked. “Where’s Finn?”
She lifted the glass and smiled, completely drunk. “Who knows? But I deserve a break, don’t I? I mean, I take enough from him.”
He shouldn’t be there. He hurried to take his drinks away, but she continued to slosh her way through more conversation. “Why doesn’t he ever say no? Everything I want, I’ve got it.” Ava’s smile melted on her face, replaced with an uneasiness. “You! If you tell anybody about this…”
Wow! She had some nerve. He lifted the drinks and nodded to the barkeep. “I have my hands full. Good luck to you.”
Dean headed back to where he’d left Emilie. He checked and double-checked the area, but Emilie wasn’t there. His insides turned as he searched along the railings. No one was sick.
He ran the entire length of the ship with no luck. Right when he was about to give up, he found her next to the glass-bottomed floor. And she wasn’t alone. In fact, she was sitting knee to knee with Finn.
His heart panged painfully. The look in her eyes was the exact one he’d been wanting to see minutes ago—only directed at him.
17
Emilie
Emilie peeked around Finn’s broad shoulder. “Are you okay? Where’s Ava?” And where was her fake fiancé? It was weird sitting alone with her ex in the bottom of the boat. Their voices echoed in the mostly empty room.
Finn ran his hands through his hair. “I don’t know if it’s me she’s mad at or the situation.” Emilie froze. The last thing she wanted to do was talk to him about his future wife. “I mean, we have enough money. Why doesn’t she just ask?”
Emilie forced a laugh. “That’s just who Ava is. Miss Independent.”
Right then, footsteps sounded at the stairs. Dean was halfway down the staircase when he saw her, and he did not look happy. She stood, putting some space between her and Finn. “I better go. Thanks for the… chat.”
Finn gave a miserable nod and nursed his drink some more. “Go join your man. I see he’s waiting.”
She laughed again, more nervously this time. Hopefully, Dean hadn’t overthought their interaction. She hurried over to him, linking an arm through his.
“Did you find some drinks?”
He handed her a Coke and then pulled his arm away. Her hands dropped to the side as she followed him wordlessly back to the front of the boat. Heavy guilt weighed on her empty stomach.
When they were alone again, she crossed her arms in front of her. “Nothing happened. We were just talking.”
Dean’s jaw tightened. He didn’t even glance in her direction. “Sure. Why not? No harm in catching up with an ex. An ex who tore your heart to shreds, but yeah, whatever.”
“My stomach hurt, and I went to the restroom to make sure I didn’t throw up again. On my way back, I saw Finn sitting by himself, and it made me sad to see him alone at his engagement party. I don’t know why Ava wasn’t with him.”
“She’s at the bar.” His voice was testy. The hot sting of guilt burned her conscience.
Something inside her wished Dean would hold her, but she didn’t dare bring it up. Since trying on wedding dresses, her emotions were on a literal seesaw. One minute she was pining for Dean, the next, avoiding her feelings. If she didn’t figure it out soon, she’d end up crushing him, and that’s the last thing she wanted.
The rest of the drive back was quiet and awkward, and when he dropped her off at her jeep with a simple goodbye, Emilie’s thoughts became even more unsettled and blurry. Somehow, she had to find a way to leave the past where it was and confront how she felt about Dean.
When she woke up the next morning, her head throbbed from lack of sleep. She had to spend more time at the studio, but despite her long list of things to do before opening day, she arrived late and left early. She stopped at Gail’s house for advice about what to do so she could sleep.
“Hey, bright eyes,” Gail said when she opened the door.
Emilie forced a smile. “Hi.”
“You’re not so cheery today. What’s going on?”
“Let’s talk about it inside.” Emilie followed Gail into the sitting room. Instead of sitting on the couch opposite Gail, Emilie slumped in an armchair. Her legs hung off one arm of the chair, arms sprawled apart.
“That bad, huh?”
Emilie hid her face with one arm and moaned. She and Gail talked about boys when she was younger, but this was different. This was Dean. “I don’t know what to do.”
Gail laughed and moved Emilie’s arm away. Kneeling on the floor next to her, she took both of Emilie’s hands in hers. “That’s obvious. Why don’t you start at the beginning?”
“Yesterday, everything was going fine. Dean and I went on a whale watch and other than being seasick, it was the perfect evening. Dean and I connected. Halfway through the cruise, we had this... moment and he leaned down to kiss me.”
Gail’s mouth dropped open. Then she laughed, a deep throaty laugh that would embarrass any daughter in public. “You really like Dean, don’t you?”
Emilie blurted out the rest before she made any assumptions. “I pulled away. I’m not sure why? What if I move and we date long distance? What if we break up? Everything was perfect, but I was too nervous. I wanted to kiss him; I really did. But besides my obvious reasons, I’d just thrown up. Kissing him with that acid taste in my mouth made me want to…”
Gail raised a hand to stop her. “Too much information. First of all, let’s talk about you leaving. It’s not going to happen.”
Emilie cocked her head. “How can you be so sure? I can’t stand that house.”
Gail shooed her words away with her hand. “That’s not a good-enough reason to leave Dean. You can get a new place. Speaking of him, let’s deal with that. He’s your fiancé, remember? It’s not a bad thing to be caught kissing.” She playfully batted her eyes until Emilie cracked a smile.
“We’re not technically together.”
Gail held up her hands. “Why not? Why don’t you date him and even marry him? That boy is everything to you. He’s liked you since... It’s been so long, I can’t remember.”
Her words sucker punched Emilie.
Even though she was sure he liked her, he’d never said the words. It made a difference. “Maybe he’s been like that recently, but we just reconnected. It’s been years. It’s hard for me to believe he’s had feelings for me all this time.”
“Believe it, girl.”
Emilie bit her lip. She was quickly running out of reasons why she couldn’t be with him. “Right now, he’s my safety net. I don’t want to lose the one constant in my life.”
“Yeah, and he knows that, too. Being fake engaged to you is probably driving him crazy, but he’s doing it because he knows that’s what you need. But tell me something, what hasn’t he done for you?” Emilie opened her mouth and then closed it. His overly kind gestures confused her. How was she supposed to know if her feelings were real?
A memory flashed in her mind. “Remember Melanie, that girl Dean dated our freshman year of high school? Remember how he treated her when they broke up? He never returned her calls, never even spoke to her again. He would do the same thing to me.”
Gail crossed her arms. “He dumps girls so easily because he still has you on his mind, silly.”
On to the next problem. “Last night he caught me talking to Finn alone, and I think he’s upset.” Gail’s eyebrows rose, and Emilie knew she’d gotten the wrong idea, just as Dean did. “It was all innocent, I promise.”
Gail studied her, her attention never wavering. “That’s a sticky line you’re walking. Who wouldn’t be suspicious of you talking to Finn alone? You used to date him. Remember, avoid any appearance of evil. You have enough on your plate figuring out if you like Dean. Focus on him. No other man, especially not someone bogus like Finn.”
Emilie’s throat constricted, making it hard to swallow. She wasn’t used to Gail’s scolding tone. Ava, sure. But not her. Gail usually supported her in everything she chose to do.
Emilie’s words caught in her throat. “Yeah, I guess when you put it that way, I should’ve been more careful.”