A Game of COURAGE

by Lena Hart

  “Do you remember our first dance?”

  “At our wedding?” His short laugh was immediately followed by a loud groan. “How can I forget? Gunnar deserved that punch. He never saw that right hook coming.”

  Jules winced but shared in his laughter. Not that she had been laughing on their wedding day. Her immature brother’s failed attempt to streak during their first dance had been enough to upset her for a large part of their special night. But after ten years, she could look back at it and laugh.

  “I don’t think I can ever get over Ryder taking a swing at my little brother, but he was pretty angry, wasn’t he?”

  “Yeah, he was. Ryder took his job as best man very seriously. But he was nowhere near as mad as your dad.”

  Jules laughed. “You’re right. I think that’s what kept the Bennett men from going after your brother. They were too busy eavesdropping on the tongue lashing my dad was giving Gunnar while trying to keep Gennie from going after Ryder.”

  “And they say I have a temper. I don’t think I’ve ever seen your sister so mad.”

  “Well, her twin did just get slugged in front of our entire family, and she always defends Gunnar. Even when he’s wrong.”

  “I can’t believe we made it through that night,” Mason said. “And it only took a few weeks after our honeymoon for Gunnar to apologize to us for it.”

  Jules shook her head in exasperation at the memory. Now that her then seventeen-year-old brother was an adult, and a professional athlete with responsibilities, she could only hope he had put his pranking days behind him.

  “My brother’s hardheaded sometimes. I just hope he thinks twice now before he decides to be…cheeky.”

  She and Mason shared another laugh, and she loved how much easier it was becoming for them. They hadn’t been able to just enjoy each other’s company in a while, and it felt nice.

  “I’m just glad he didn’t manage to completely ruin our night.”

  “Me too. I don’t think I would be laughing now if we hadn’t been able to make up our first dance. And thank God for the electric slide!” Jules added. “It got everyone up dancing and laughing.”

  Mason laced his fingers with hers. “That’s the beauty of second chances, yeah? We get to do it over again. To get it right the second time around.”

  Jules squeezed his hand, though she had a feeling he wasn’t just talking about their wedding reception. Tonight was exactly that for them—a chance to start over and remember why she fell in love with him in the first place. The bonus was that they got to relive their old memories while making new ones.

  “Do you remember that Halloween party you invited me to?”

  “You mean the one you wore that sexy green genie costume to? I loved that costume,” he said wistfully.

  “Yeah, that one,” she said, grinning. They had been casually dating for a few months by that point, taking turns to fly into each other’s city to see each other. She should have known then just how much she loved him, putting up with that much traveling. “I don’t think I ever slow-danced so much to party music.”

  He chuckled. “It was a first for me, too. But I couldn’t keep my hands off you.”

  She took another sip from her glass, remembering that night vividly. He hadn’t let go of her that entire time they had been on the dance floor. Because she had enjoyed being in his arms, she hadn’t really minded the erection that had been pushing against her the entire time. What started off casual had soon turned pretty hot and heavy after that night.

  They spent the next several minutes laughing and reminiscing about their earlier dates, surprised at how much they both remembered.

  “Want a refill?”

  She straightened from her lazy slump at his side and peered over at him. “Are you trying to get me drunk, Mr. Courage?”

  Mason winked and took the empty glass from her hand. “Maybe.”

  She laughed. “Okay.”

  He gave her a quick kiss on the lips before he got up and started toward the bar. Jules admired his long-legged strides and the way his muscular backside moved in his pants. He looked especially delicious tonight, and she couldn’t remember if she had told him that. She wondered how he would react if she told him she wanted to eat him up, then giggled at the thought. She knew exactly how he would react, and her body warmed at the possibility.

  Last night, he had touched and caressed her in a way that made her forget everything. That was the kind of intimacy she missed between them—the slow build up, the soft kisses and gentle touches. She wanted more of it, but she also didn’t want to skip ahead and ruin things. Sex wouldn’t fix their problems, and maybe it was best they eased back into that part of their relationship. Besides, she was having fun just dating her husband again.

  “What’s a beautiful woman like you doing sitting alone?”

  Jules glanced up to find a tall, attractive man smiling down at her. He looked harmless enough, so she returned it with a polite one of her own.

  “My husband just went to get me a drink. He’ll be back soon.”

  The man took the seat Mason had just vacated and sidled close beside her. “Then I’m sure he won’t mind me keeping you company for a bit.”

  She frowned and inched away from him. What the hell is his deal?

  “My name’s Baron. It’s nice to meet you, Miss…”

  Jules stared down at his outstretched hand, then back up at him. “It’s Mrs. Courage. And you may want to get up from my husband’s seat.”

  Baron let his hand drop, but the grin on his dark brown face remained firmly in place. It was as she was talking to air.

  “So, you’re the hockey coach’s beauty queen. I thought it was you.” He gave her a thorough once-over. “You’re a lot prettier in person.”

  Her lips curled in disgust. “Whatever you’re trying to do here is a waste of time. Now go away.”

  “Whoa. I’m just trying to be nice.”

  “Stop trying and just leave.”

  Baron appeared surprised, yet intrigued by her clipped words. “Pretty and cold-blooded. I like that.” He leaned forward and said close to her ear. “Why don’t you give me a chance to melt some of that ice?”

  “Get the fuck away from my wife.”

  They both jumped at Mason’s harsh words. But when the man didn’t move fast enough, Mason slammed their drinks down on the small table and took a step forward.

  Baron jumped up and quickly backed away. “Chill, man. I’m leaving.”

  Jules watched him leave, then blew out the breath she held, grateful things hadn’t escalated. Mason fell into the seat beside her, his gaze still locked in the direction the man had disappeared. From the hard set of his jaw, she could tell he was still angry.

  “Mason—”

  “What did he say to you?”

  “It’s not important.”

  His head swung around, and she studied his hard expression, noting the way his eyes moved over her. She couldn’t tell who he was more upset with—the man or her? She had a sinking feeling it was the latter.

  “Jules, tell me what he said.” Suddenly, his glare magnified and he regarded her closely. “Or did you like the attention you were getting?”

  She gaped at him, stunned by the accusation. Her astonishment, however, swiftly turned into outrage.

  “Why the hell would you think I’d want attention from that jerk? Or from any guy, for that matter?”

  “It didn’t stop you before, did it?” he snapped. “It’s because you felt you weren’t getting enough attention that we’re even in this place.”

  Jules fixed him with a sharp glare of her own. Telling him about that night she had gone to dinner alone had been a mistake. She hadn’t sought out or invited the attention, but none of that mattered. It obviously still bothered him. No matter what she said, he would always hold that against her.

  Jules swallowed her hurt and clasped her hands together to keep them from trembling. “You’re an asshole for taking what I told you and throwing it
back in my face. And you’re an even bigger asshole for thinking I wanted that creep to brag about how hot he could make me.”

  She was pleased that she had managed to keep her voice calm and even. His expression, however, went from barely concealed anger to white-hot rage.

  “He said what?”

  Before she could react, he jumped to his feet. Jules immediately started after him. She reached him just in time to yank him to a halt.

  “Mason, stop! You’re not going to embarrass me any more by starting a damn fight.” From the heads turning in their direction, it was probably too late. “Since you and that jerk managed to ruin what should have been a great night, I’d like to go home. Now.”

  8

  Mason wanted to get this session over with.

  The tension between him and Jules had steadily grown stronger these past few days. From Dr. Kahn’s measured looks, it was clear she could see it too.

  “Why don’t we begin by discussing how your week went?”

  Mason sat stiffly in his seat, not saying a word. She could obviously see that their week had been crap, so why bother answering? Seeing his wife so close to that man the other night had only made him think about what she had told him and how close she had come to ruining their marriage. Could she blame him for being pissed that she had allowed that bastard to sit so close to her?

  Apparently she did, because she sat beside him just as tense and silent.

  Dr. Kahn patiently waited a few more minutes before she asked, “Were you two able to go on that date, like I suggested?”

  She stared at Mason directly, so he answered. “Yes.”

  “And how did it go?”

  “Fine.”

  Jules scoffed, and Mason gritted his teeth.

  “In the beginning, anyway,” he corrected. “Things started off great, then…”

  Dr. Kahn looked at Jules then back to him. “What happened after?”

  “Then we got into an argument.”

  “What started it?”

  Mason frowned, remembering the sly grin on the man’s face, the way he had leaned into her. He also remembered the clear, even words that had gutted him.

  Not because I wanted him, but because I wanted to hurt you.

  The sharp pain of her admission still carried enough strength to pierce through him. He had tried to shake off his anger and pain, but they still stayed with him. Brooding just beneath the surface.

  As if sensing his discomfort, Dr. Kahn turned to Jules. “What was the argument about?”

  “He thought I was flirting with another man,” Jules said tightly.

  Dr. Kahn raised a brow. “Were you?”

  “Of course not. I did nothing to encourage that man, yet he believes that I did. My husband should know me better than that.”

  “I thought I did,” Mason retorted.

  Jules whipped around to face him, and Mason returned her glare.

  “Mason, what made you think your wife was flirting with this man?” Dr. Kahn asked.

  “Because she’s done it before,” he said, not tearing his eyes from Jules’.

  “You can’t stop throwing that back in my face, can you?”

  “You would rather I forget what you almost did? What you said you wanted to do?”

  She drew her brows together. “So is this how it’s going to be between us from now on? Me defending myself to you every time a guy makes a pass at me?”

  “What the hell did you expect? You tell me you want to cheat on me and I’m supposed to be okay with that? How the hell am I supposed to trust you after that?”

  Her eyes became luminous, and there was immense regret and sadness in them. He couldn’t stand seeing her upset, and turned back to Dr. Kahn, who quickly jotted down notes.

  “How recent was this affair?”

  “I didn’t have an affair,” Jules said strongly.

  “Just because sex wasn’t part of the outcome doesn’t mean you weren’t involved in an emotional affair,” Dr. Kahn explained.

  “It wasn’t anything like that. I didn’t build some kind of deep emotional connection with that man. I just...” She looked down at her clasped hands. “I should have never told him. It was stupid.”

  “But you did tell him. Why?”

  Mason sat forward, wanting to know why too. Not that it would change anything. She had already managed to tear his heart out and crush it in her palm. Now he just needed to understand what she had hoped to gain by it.

  “I thought if I told him about that moment, he would see how hurt and angry I was to even think of doing something like that. And I hoped he would understand why I thought it was best we dissolve our marriage before it ever got that far.” She brought her fingers to her temple, and there was a slight tremor in them. “But I see now that it only made things worse, and now I’ve lost his trust.”

  “Mason, how do you feel now that you know why your wife admitted this to you?”

  “Still angry.” Still hurt.

  “Just angry?”

  He clenched his jaw, sensing the rigidity in Jules as she waited for his response. He wished Dr. Kahn would just move on or offer some damn solution already. Rehashing how he felt wasn’t doing anything to diminish his anger or pain.

  “Mason, it will help if you told your wife exactly how you feel.”

  “You heard her. She wanted to hurt me, and she did.”

  Jules turned to him. A single tear escaped the corner of her eye and she promptly wiped it away. “I’m sorry.”

  Mason swallowed the lump building in his throat, not sure how to respond to that. He was still upset, but she was his wife. The love of his life. No matter what, he had vowed he wouldn’t give up on them.

  Dr. Kahn slid a box of tissues toward Jules, and she reached for one. Mason kept his gaze trained on the therapist.

  “It looks like you both are hurting from this, which in some ways is a good thing, because it means you still love each other. But it also means you have to earn back each other’s trust.”

  “I would never cheat on my husband,” Jules said quietly, her voice husky with suppressed tears. “That’s not me. I’m not the type of person who takes pleasure in seeing others in pain. I don’t know why I thought hurting him would make me feel better.”

  “It’s natural to want to hurt the person you believed wronged you,” Dr. Kahn said. “In fact, that’s how many infidelities start. I’m glad you two sought help before it could escalate that far. Now, Mason, I understand you’re still angry and hurt, but do you want your marriage to work?”

  “I wouldn’t be here if I didn’t.”

  Dr. Kahn pursed her lips, and he instantly regretted his sharp retort.

  “Yes, I want our marriage to get better,” he said.

  “Then you’ll need to begin letting go of your anger and start being more receptive to your wife’s pain.”

  He had no trouble there. He felt her pain even now, and it made it difficult for him not to reach for her.

  “I want you two to turn and face each other.”

  They did as instructed. When Mason glanced back at Dr. Kahn in anticipation of her next instruction, she gestured for him to turn back around with a quick roll of her finger.

  He turned back to his wife and immediately noticed the moisture that glistened at the corner of her eye. Instinctively, he wiped at it with the pad of his thumb. Before he could pull back, she took his hand and held it.

  “Now, for just a few minutes,” Dr. Kahn said gently, “I want you to look into each other’s eyes.”

  Forgetting the therapist sitting only a few feet across them, Mason kept his gaze locked on his wife. He allowed himself to get lost in the warm depths of her gold-tinted eyes. The lingering anger that had festered in his gut began to cool. In its place bloomed a deeply intense connection. One he couldn’t name, but left him raw with emotion.

  Memories of all the times they had made love, the times they had laughed or found solace in each other’s arms, the times they had held their
babies for the first time. Those moments of their lives together were what surfaced as he continued to lose himself in her gaze.

  “Now, I want you to think about what makes you feel most loved when you’re together.”

  Dr. Kahn’s words penetrated his haze of emotions. He blinked, still gathering himself as he considered his response.

  “Jules?”

  “I love it when you spend time with me,” Jules said quietly. “And I mean real time, like we used to. Without distractions.”

  “Mason? What is something Jules does that make you feel loved?”

  “When she looks at me like this. With love and affection. No judgment or resentment.”

  Jules squeezed his hand. “I do love you, Mason.”

  “All right,” Dr. Kahn said. “I want you both to remember this, because for the next few weeks, I want you to get in the habit of connecting with each other. Physically connecting, and I don’t just mean sex. It can be as simple as staring into each other’s eyes, holding hands, or hugging.”

  Mason smiled at his wife. “I think we can manage that, yeah?”

  Jules nodded, her expression softening.

  “Good. Try to set aside at least ten minutes a day to do it. Preferably in the mornings. This can help set the tone for the rest of your day.”

  They both nodded.

  “Also, it’s easy to get caught up in each other’s mistakes and transgressions, so be sure to acknowledge whenever one of you does something that makes you happy.”

  “Easy enough.”

  “And lastly—”

  “Should we take notes?” Mason asked.

  Jules chuckled and Dr. Kahn threw him a sidelong scowl for the interruption. It was worth it to hear his wife laugh.

  “Lastly, I want you two to set up regular date nights with each other. At least once a month. And when you pick the date, treat it like your sacred time.”