A Game of COURAGE
Page 18
Mia turned to face him, a small smile on her lips. “Actually, I think it’s wonderful.” But the look on her face, the nervous tugging on her sleeve told him otherwise.
Nate braced himself. “Okay, let’s hear it.”
She hesitated, looking up at him with an odd expression on her face. Then she let out a deep sigh and her words spilled out in a long-winded rush.
“Nate, you know I love you, and even though you’ve never repeated the words back, I wouldn’t take them back. I’m actually glad you haven’t because I wouldn’t want you to parrot the words back to me if you’re not ready to say them. But even though I love you and always will, I need to know if you want me enough, if you care for me enough, to want a family.”
The muscles in his chest tightened as agitation and annoyance overwhelmed him. “Not this again,” he muttered sharply. “Why do you have to back me into a corner, huh? I care about you. I want you. Why can’t that be enough for now?”
She shook her head, looking away, her eyes bright, but guarded. “Because it can’t.”
A long and painful silence stretched between them. He didn’t know about love. Hell, he wasn’t sure he could love anyone. He never said those words to anyone, not even to his parents. But he did know that he wanted her, wanted her more than he had ever wanted anything.
Yet, what he wanted and what she expected were too far apart for them to find a common ground. And he wasn’t going to make promises he wasn’t prepared to keep.
“So that’s it?” he snapped. “I either marry you, have some kids, or we’re over?”
She stood there with her arms wrapped tightly around her center, saying nothing. Nate cursed.
“If I walk out of here,” he bit out, “I won’t come back.” Yet the thought of being without her, never seeing her again, was almost unbearable.
“I won’t expect you to,” she murmured.
His frustration and resentment boiled over. Without thinking, he grabbed her and kissed her hard. The contact was short and thoroughly unsatisfying. He immediately released her, not sure why he had done it and disgusted with himself for letting his anger push him into doing it.
She took a step back, brushing her fingers lightly over her lips, a stunned expression in her wide, hurt eyes. He felt like shit. But all his regret and frustration didn’t change anything. It was time he stopped chasing after her like some lost puppy.
The tightening in his chest was still there and he let out a heavy breath. “I hope you find your fairytale ending,” he muttered bitterly.
She briefly closed her eyes and when she opened them, they were filled with such intense sadness he almost couldn’t stand it.
“And I hope you find someone to love.”
Nate tensed, but her eyes held no maliciousness or spite. Just a pain and hurt that he was sure mirrored his own.
THEIR COMPROMISE
5
Five years later…
“Mikey, baby, it’s time to eat.”
Mia placed the small bowl of macaroni and cheese on the table as her son came running into the kitchen. He rushed to the table and with bright chocolate brown eyes, peered into his favorite orange bowl.
“Mommy, I said I wanted Cheetos.”
“Not tonight.”
Mikey pouted his small, round face. “Why come?”
“Because I said so,” Mia answered, heading to the fridge. “Now, apple or grape?”
“Grape!” he exclaimed, climbing up to his seat.
Mia brought the carton of grape juice to the table and filled his green plastic straw cup. She also filled the two tall cups on the table.
“Where’s your auntie?” Mia asked.
Mikey shrugged his small shoulders as he stuffed a spoonful of macaroni into his mouth. Some made it back into the bowl, some on his shirt.
“Leah,” she called out. “Dinner!”
Mia sat down at the table just as her sister came into the kitchen, still wearing her security uniform. Leah took one look at the table and sighed heavily.
“Really, Mia?” she said, curling her lip. “Macaroni and meatloaf again?”
“I’m trying to get rid of the leftovers,” Mia countered. “But if you want something else, feel free to make it.”
Her sister responded by falling into her seat and grabbing her fork without another word. Leah looked over at Mikey’s bowl. “Mouse, you’re still not eating meat?”
Mikey scrunched his smooth, light-brown face and shook his head viciously. Last week he had decided he was no longer eating meat so Mia made sure there was no meat in his bowl. She was used to her son’s quirky eating habits and didn’t make a big fuss when Mikey would pick a food group he no longer found appetizing. Two months ago it had been macaroni.
Leah pointed to his bowl with her fork. “You know, if you keep eating all that cheese, you’re really turn into a mouse.”
“Na-uh,” Mikey said with a mouth full of half-chewed food. “Mommy said that’s not true.”
“Mikey.” The one word followed by a stern look was enough to turn her four-year-old sheepish. He knew better than to talk with his mouth full.
“Sorry, Mommy,” he said after he had his food swallowed.
When dinner was over, Mia got up and began clearing the table. “Mikey, go get ready for bath time.”
Mikey scrambled out of his seat and ran out of the kitchen. When Leah started in the same direction, Mia stopped her.
“Aren’t you going to help me?” she asked, staring pointedly at the dishes she carried.
“I’m going to work,” Leah said as if it should have been obvious.
Mia looked at the clock on the wall. It was a little after seven. “I thought you just got in?”
“Someone just called out sick and they asked me to cover. Someone has to make money around here,” her sister said pointedly. “I’ll be back in the morning.”
Mia placed the dishes in the sink, trying to suppress her guilt. Leah had been a big help these past few months while Mia was in between work so she could understand her sister’s resentment.
“What time will you be in?” Mia asked. “I have an appointment with the insurance company tomorrow at nine. I was hoping you could watch Mikey for me.”
“Yeah, okay,” Leah said with a shrug. “I’ll be back by seven tomorrow morning.”
It didn’t escape Mia’s notice that her sister hadn’t asked about the meeting with the life insurance company. Leah steered clear of everything relating to their mother’s passing. Mia tried to understand how her sister felt. Their mother’s passing had affected them greatly but Mia wished she had just a little support from her sister while she sorted this out. Fighting the insurance company for what was rightfully owed to them was taking its toll on her.
Mia hadn’t gotten a chance to fully grieve since their mother’s passing nine months ago. Yvette Trent had been diagnosed with idiopathic pulmonary fibrosis, another form of lung disease the doctors believed had resulted from her sarcoidosis. The amount of scar tissues that had developed in her lungs because of the inflammatory disease eventually forced their mother on an oxygen machine, which ultimately hadn’t been enough. Weeks before her fifty-fifth birthday, she stopped breathing.
Mia didn’t realize the tears were falling until they landed on her forearm. She sat down at the table and tried to compose herself. She knew if she let the thoughts in, she would have another break down and scare Mikey again.
But it was hard not thinking about her mother. Her mother had been her rock since she’d returned home five years ago. She had never questioned her decision or asked about Nate. Her mother could see how much she had been hurting when she’d returned from Chicago and waited until Mia was ready to tell her. Then again, there hadn’t been much to tell.
After she had Mikey, her mother had been her greatest supporter and teacher. With her gone now, Mia was lost.
She wiped away her tears and took a deep, steadying breath. Mia thought of the good times, forever grateful that
her mother got to know her grandson at least. Her mother had spent what time she had with Mikey, despite her suffering, and though Mia missed her fiercely, knowing her mother was finally at peace gave Mia some solace, if only a little.
However, the demands of life were disrupting what small comfort she was gaining from that. Though she and Leah tried, they were fast falling behind on their bills. Soon they wouldn’t be able to manage the mortgage without the payout from their mother’s life insurance. The policy wasn’t for a large amount by any means, but it would certainly be enough to help them pay down their increasing debts.
The life insurance had been their mother’s idea after Mikey was born. She had wanted to make sure her daughters and grandson had some financial security in the event something happened to her. Thinking of her son, Mia had also purchased a policy. But now the insurance company was denying their claim.
After weeks of back and forth, she would finally have a meeting with the claims’ manager. This was her last hope, other than taking them to court and spending money they didn’t have. All she could do now was pray and be prepared.
She didn’t want to think about what would happen if the insurance company refused their claim again.
“Ms. Trent, I’m sorry for your loss, but unfortunately, the claim isn’t valid under your current policy.”
Mia looked across the desk at the rail thin, older black man, desperate and beyond frustration. “Mr. Freeman, I’ve brought in everything you’ve asked. All the medical reports, the bank statements, the original policy forms proving that my mother’s policy was still active are all here. What more do you want?”
Howard Freeman sighed and removed his gold-rimmed eyeglasses. “I understand and appreciate that. However, the policy is not the issue here. Your mother’s medical records indicate a pre-existing condition and because it wasn’t reported during the time of contract, it unfortunately voids the policy.”
Mia shook her head, repeating the same thing she said many times since she started this appeal. “My mother passed away from idiopathic pulmonary fibrosis,” Mia said, her voice wavering. “She was being treated for pulmonary sarcoidosis years ago. Those are two separate diseases and should be considered as such.”
Mr. Freeman gave her a sympathetic look. “Because the medical records state that the sarcoidosis resulted in the fibrosis, it is being classified as a precondition. I’m sorry, but there is nothing more I can do.”
Mia didn’t want his sympathy. She needed to know how she was going to pay their mounting bills and keep a roof over their heads.
Mia leaned forward in her seat. “Mr. Freeman, you don’t understand. We are going to lose our house. This is why my mother purchased the policy to begin with. There has to be something you can do.”
“Based on her plan, you are eligible for a full return of the premium.”
“For how much?” Mr. Freeman told her the amount and Mia’s small bubble of hope deflated. It would barely be enough to cover a month of their mortgage and they were already two months behind.
Mia shook her head, feeling a small headache forming.
“Of course, there’s some paperwork that needs to be completed,” Mr. Freeman continued. “Once that’s been processed and approved, a check will be mailed to you within the next four to six weeks.”
Mia’s shoulders slumped. She couldn’t hold off the bank and creditors for that long. Then again, she had no choice.
She stood up, thanked Mr. Freeman, and started toward the door of his small, sparse office.
“Again, I’m sorry, Ms. Trent,” he called out. “I truly understand how difficult it is to lose a parent.”
Mia stopped, staring at the older man whose intelligent eyes were filled with a familiar sadness. She nodded in acknowledgment then, without another word, walked out of his office.
She needed to clear her mind. Since they wouldn’t be able to rely on the insurance money, she needed to start thinking ahead. And whether Leah wanted to or not, they were going to have to figure this out together.
Mia pulled up to the pale yellow, single story house that had been her home for the past sixteen years. It had also been her son’s home since the day she brought him home from the hospital five years ago. Mia could remember how excited they’d all been to move into their first home. Their mother had worked hard to purchase this place and Mia couldn’t imagine losing it because she couldn’t afford to pay the mortgage.
Mia exited the suffocating car, vaguely noting the dry, withering grass. Though it had been the least of her worries, the lawn would need some attention soon.
As Mia headed to the front door, she spotted their neighbor, Mr. Wallace, sitting outside on his front porch, his dark, weathered face breaking out into a big smile. Mia smiled in return, waving a silent greeting. She loved her neighborhood, as her mother had, and had no desire to leave.
Mia found Mikey sleeping soundly on the couch in front of the television. She loved watching her son sleep. His small, relaxed form always managed to put her at ease. She gently ran her fingers through his hair before she carried him to his bed. He had been napping less often lately, leaving Mia exhausted at the end of each day, but today was an exception. Her little man must have tuckered himself out. Despite his dark curls, round cheeks, and creamy brown complexion, she could see traces of his father in him. Mikey had her eyes, but everything else bore a strong resemblance to his father.
She swiftly shook the thought away. Right now wasn’t the time to think about him. It would be five years this month since she last saw Nate McArthur. It was hard enough not to think about him when he invaded her thoughts at night, and as Mikey grew older, the task of forgetting him grew even harder.
She left her son’s room and found her sister in the kitchen, reading a letter. Leah looked up when she saw Mia approaching.
“You have to read this,” she said, holding out the letter to her. “It just got here about an hour ago through certified mail.”
Mia took the letter. What she read knocked the wind out of her. She fell into the nearest seat and stared at her sister blankly.
“They can’t be serious. We’re only behind by two months.”
“It’s June, Mia. I think that puts us into three months.”
Mia looked down at the letter again. “Notice of Foreclosure” stood out in a bold, heavy font across the page. She immediately started thinking of the accounts they could borrow from. Yet even as she thought of their meager savings, she knew it would barely carry them through the end of the summer.
Then what? If they used it all to pay the bank that would leave them with nothing for basic living expenses. She hadn’t been able to find work in three weeks. With the fragile state of the economy, it was getting increasingly difficult to find substantial, consistent work—much less work that was favorable to single mothers. Mia found herself bouncing from job to job, limited to jobs that did not require nights or weekends since she couldn’t afford a babysitter. This schedule worked perfectly as it allowed her to be with Mikey during those times and Leah would have him during the day. Unfortunately she had lost her last temp job and was now spending her days and nights with her son while her sister worked part-time as a makeup sales girl at the mall and part-time as a desk security guard.
“So what are you going to do?”
Mia looked up at her sister, a little annoyed by the question. “Don’t you mean, what are we going to do?” Mia corrected.
Leah sat back in her chair and looked down at the table. “Look Mia, I don’t know how to tell you this but…” she took a deep breath, “I’m moving out.”
Mia didn’t know what to say. She certainly wasn’t expecting this. Leah had never moved out on her own. Even after she’d graduated high school, and Mia had been open to her living in Chicago with her, Leah had decided to stay home. Her sister had even stayed around when Mia moved back home and their small home had become crowded with a new baby added. When Mia didn’t say anything, Leah finally glanced up at her.
“Where do you plan on going?” Mia asked, trying not to sound hurt or bitter. She appreciated the sacrifices her sister made to her modeling dreams in order to help her with Mikey. Leah loved her nephew, and despite their own personal relationship, Mia had come to rely on her support.
Leah glanced at her. “LA, of course. When Jackson gets out, we’re leaving.”
Mia frowned. “Really, Leah? Jackson?” she questioned, exasperated. Talks about moving to Los Angeles to start her modeling career were nothing new, but taking her old high school sweetheart with her definitely was. The influence Jackson had on her sister leaned toward the negative, and the only reason Leah hadn’t completely spiraled down with her bad news boyfriend—and seen the inside of a jail cell herself—was because their mother kept Leah on a tight leash. Now that their mother was gone, Mia could only hope her sister knew enough to keep herself out of trouble.
“Do you really think you’re being realistic?” Mia continued. “You’re twenty-four and broke. How do you plan to move and support yourself way across the country?”
Leah narrowed her eyes at her. “Just because I don’t want to be some fancy lawyer doesn’t mean I’m stupid,” she snapped. “You’re just jealous I’m actually going after my dream when you never even finished law school.”
Mia’s back drew up. That stung. But maybe she had it coming. Leah had always accused her of putting down her dreams and it was obvious she was doing it now. She just didn’t want her sister to get hurt. She had learned the hard way how painful it was to live life under an illusion.
“Fine,” Mia said quietly. “Do what you want.”
“I will. I’m moving out at the end of next month,” Leah continued. “And I’m going to use my share of the insurance money to get started.”
Mia let out a dry laugh and shook her head. “So is that the pot of gold you’re hanging your dreams on? You better start looking elsewhere.”