Felicity flushed as she lay against his broad chest. “It was all that touching your fun stuff,” she joked.
Cupping her jaw, he caressed her cheek with his thumb and chuckled. It rumbled against her ear. “Well, I'll say this much, you may not cast spells like a pro, but you got playing with my nether parts down to a science."
She tweaked his nipple. “Stop, you're embarrassing me."
Tilting her head up, he made her look at him. “If you think that's embarrassing, you oughta see your hair. It's really quite something to behold."
Felicity's laughter rang out into the darkness as she snuggled against him and allowed herself to drift off in the security of his arms.
* * * *
They woke with a start to the sound of voices.
"Um, honey?"
Felicity rubbed her eyes as she fought to open them against the bright light. “Yeah?"
"Ding-dong, Avon calling."
Oh, God, please don't let her unscrunch her eyes and find what she thought she was going to find.
"You pervs!” someone said with a giddy chuckle.
Hoo boy. Felicity had a funny feeling that the neighbors weren't dropping by with a casserole to welcome her to the fold. She popped one eye open and caught a glimpse of a blurry blob. Just as quickly, she closed it again with a groan.
"Punkin'?"
"Yeah?"
"I think class is in."
Ohhhhh, nooooo.
Felicity forced herself to open her eyes and found a small crowd of onlookers. Mouths hanging to the ground, wide eyed and holding binders in their tight grips.
The “Magic and Nature Equal Opportunities Abound” class was officially in full swing.
They were still hovering on Christian's magic carpet, right by her front door, in fact, naked as the day was long. Slitting her wrists with a butter knife might be the only less painful way out of this.
"Um, honey?” she said into his neck. The neck she'd now buried her face in.
"Yes, dear?"
"Can you snap those trusty fingers of yours and like make us disappear? I think that might be appropriate about now."
"Yes, dear."
[Back to Table of Contents]
Chapter Seven
"Say again?"
"I said give me my genie."
"I will not. He's mine."
"No, no, he's mine."
"Nuh-uh."
"Uh huh."
"Says who?"
"Okay, one more time for the slow people in the room. Um, I think that would be you.” The caller at her door pointed to Felicity. “I'm Divinity. D-I-V-I-N-I-T-Y. My daughter was Fatima. That would make me Fatima's mother. M-O-T-H-E-R."
Fatima's mother, whoever Fatima was, looked at Christian and flicked an absent finger in Felicity's face. “Can she spell, genie? Or did you find yourself a nice dumb, sentence fragmented idiot to yank your pathetic ass out of that bottle?"
"Divinity.” Christian narrowed his gaze in the direction of the beautiful woman on Felicity's doorstep and crossed his arms over his bare chest. “If I were you, I'd tread very lightly. I don't know why you're here, but I won't have you abusing Felicity. Got that, mother-in-law?” he ground out the words through a jaw that was clenched so hard, Felicity thought his teeth might crack.
Felicity stepped between the bronzed hunk she'd acquired two weeks ago and the perfect ten of a woman who was Fatima's mother. Again, who the frig was Fatima? “Um, who are you and who is Fatima?"
The silence between Christian and Divinity was deafening as they stared each other down.
Well, well ... guess who wasn't Christian's wife? He'd been yanking her crank all along. Felicity had begun to think that maybe he really did believe she was his wife and she had stopped refuting it, or didn't have the will to refute it since he was helping her with her spells. Or better still, forgotten it all together because it was much more fun to ogle him and shove the rest of their quandary to the far corners of her lust riddled mind.
He'd grown on her and she liked having him around—even if he was a consummate liar. Okay, so why was Divinity here and what could she possibly want? And what the hell had happened to Fatima?
Felicity was just about to pitch a hissy fit of her own when Divinity spoke through her red lipsticked lips. “You have no right to tell me to tread lightly on anything, boy-toy. You're mine. I tell you what to do. Got that?"
Huh? Hers? Wait one damn genie second. Felicity had sucked him out of the bottle, not Charity, er, Divinity. That meant Christian was Felicity's by genie law, despite the fact that he was a liar. He was her liar.
"I wondered when you'd wise up and come looking for your three wishes, Divinity. Took you long enough,” Christian snarled with a hard set to his jaw.
Three wishes? Wasn't Divinity a genie too? How was it that she needed three wishes? Didn't she have her own personal wish factory? “Hookay, someone wanna explain what the hell is going on here? I'm the one responsible for getting the boy-toy, as you called him, out of the bottle. That makes him mine, Chastity.” Felicity wouldn't reveal that Christian had lied to her. Not in front of mixed company anyway. She'd cover his butt for now. Oh, but wait until she got David Copperfield alone. He was going to faintly resemble shredded wheat.
Felicity sensed that whatever was happening between Christian and his mother-in-law, it wasn't something he was doing the happy dance about. Not judging by his stance and the tic in his jaw.
Divinity arched an eyebrow at Felicity. “It's Divinity and it doesn't make him yours if relatives of the dead wife's family are still laying claim to him. Not only does it entitle me to ownership of said boy-toy, it entitles me to my wishes and I want them, pronto."
Oh.
Well, then, that was an entirely different issue altogether and something she and Christian were going to have to hash out minus the presence of Charity, er Divinity. It still didn't explain why she couldn't grant her own wishes. “Look, why don't you scurry off to I Dream of Jeannie land. Why do you need wishes anyway? Are you a crappy genie? You know, they have classes like that here on Castoffsphere. Do you want the student directory? I'm sure they can help ya out,” Felicity offered.
"She needs my wishes because she's a half-breed,” Christian interrupted, glaring at Divinity as he spewed the words.
Oh, again.
This was becoming like an episode of All My Genies, for crap's sake! Half-breeds, dead wives, curses, mother-in-laws, wishes to be had. Felicity turned to Divinity and snorted a laugh. “A half-breed, huh? Sucks to be you, I guess."
Her cheeks flushed red right to the roots of her sun-kissed blonde hair. “I may be a half-breed, Christian, but I gave birth to a full breed. That's all that matters to the law of the Djinn."
Christian remained silent, leading Felicity to believe that maybe Divinity had a point.
"Prove it,” Felicity said with a suddenness that startled even her.
"I don't have to prove anything, you poor excuse for a witch. He's mine! So hand him over."
"Um, no.” Felicity shook her head with a vigorous motion. “No, I won't and you can't make me.” Neener, neener, neener. Felicity was just short of sticking her tongue out at Divinity.
Divinity stepped closer to her, shoving her way past Christian and jamming her face in Felicity's. Her nostrils all flared and the twitch in her eye couldn't be good ... “Oh, but I can make you.” She looked at Christian, who came to stand beside Felicity, putting a possessive arm around her. “How could you possibly want to stay here, on this sphere full of misfits, with a fool like her, Christian? Surely you want to come back home and be with those who are like you? She is definitely not like you."
"Back off, Divinity! I'd rather be skinned alive than end up with a viper like you. You won't take me without resistance and I don't give a damn what Djinn law says!” Christian's hand curled around Felicity's shoulder, gripping it. She felt his tension seep into her own body and it stirred her protective instinct. He was hers until someone from this place
called Djinn said otherwise and even then, they were going to have to pry him from her claws.
"Well, Charity, I guess that means you've overstayed your welcome. Don't make me zap you...” Felicity leaned into her and wiggled her fingers in Divinity's perfect, smooth, peachy cream face as a threat. “Buh-bye, now."
Divinity snatched at her fingers, grabbing them and digging a French manicured nail into her forefinger. “No, darling, this isn't goodbye. Boy-toy is mine and I'm not leaving here without him and you can't make me."
Oh, really? And just who the fuck did Divinity think she was? All up in her face trying to take her genie?
Um, not.
A thread of something indefinable and unidentified coursed through Felicity. Unfamiliar and powerful, she let it consume her, touch her nerve endings, carry her to a place that had her body literally humming. The hair on the back of her neck rose as did her fury. It crept to a far recess of her brain and sent her soaring over the edge of an as yet unknown abyss. “Back off, Divinity. Back off now...” Her warning was a low almost growl and it rumbled in the air that had now gone still.
"You bitch. Don't threaten me. What can a fool like you possibly hope to do to someone like me?"
Yeah, Felicity, what can you do? I mean, you're a witch who couldn't cast a spell if someone did it for you ... That's some purdy big talk from a chick that can't even open a can of tuna without your cat disappearing.
It did not happen that way. I can so open a can of tuna...
Sure ya can, F. It's just that usually, what you mean to do and what happens are two separate entities...
Well, maybe that was true, but she'd be fucked and feathered if this broad was taking her damn man. Felicity wondered for a brief moment where her magic wand was, but it lost its importance when her fingers began to tingle and she concentrated on the porcelain perfection that was Divinity's face. A red haze filtered over her vision. The threat Divinity posed infuriated Felicity, incited her enough to wish the genie stealer gone, for good...
In that moment, whatever possessed Felicity rumbled in the pit of her belly, clawed its way to her hand and made her raise it, splaying her fingers outward and pointing in Divinity's direction. The pause, before the ear splintering storm occurred, had Felicity's breath lodged in her throat.
Waving her hand in an arc, Felicity roared, “Go-the-fuck-away!"
The mere words, spoken with such venom, sprayed from her mouth. Almost instantly, Divinity cracked.
Like literally.
Her beautiful, perfect porcelain features shattered into a million pieces, exploding and landing at their feet in particles of fine, shimmering dust.
Felicity's hand immediately went to her mouth. She covered it in horror. “Ooohhhhh,” she wailed with startled surprise.
"Oh, indeed,” Christian commented dryly.
"Oh, my hell! What did I do?” Felicity fell to her feet, scraping the dust into her hands, thinking insanely she might be able to put Divinity back together. “Hurry and go get that Swiffer thing or the dustpan!"
"Well, wife, it would seem you made Divinity go away. Like really go away. Wee doggie, that was a fine display of magic, lamb chop.” Christian helped her to her feet and took her hands, tipping them to the floor and letting the sand drop at her feet. “That won't help, snookums. You can't put her back together like Humpty Dumpty."
"Oh my God! I killed her? I'm a murderer? I didn't mean to kill her, I swear I didn't. I only meant for her to go away. Oh, I'm going to be tried and hung for murder. Witch kills genie in fit of ownership rage. I can see the headlines now! I am soooo dead, Christian. My parents will kill me for the scandal of it all alone! Ohhhhhh—"
"F, honey! Get a grip. You didn't kill her. I promise you. But you did make her go away. I'm not sure where to, but she'll be fine."
Felicity trembled from head to toe as Christian led her to the couch and pulled her to sit on his lap, massaging her shoulders. Her mouth hung open as she caught the glint of laughter lining his lips. “This isn't funny, Aladdin! I don't know what I did to her and you're laughing?"
Kissing the tip of her nose, Christian chuckled, that low, throaty laugh that sent ripples of desire up her spine. “You did just what you wanted to, punkin'. You made her disappear. Mission accomplished, witch."
Holy shit. She had. She'd done exactly what she'd thought in her head—said out loud—thrown into the universe...
Wow.
"Note something else, F. You didn't have your magic wand with you."
As Christian spoke the words, reminding her that something incredible had just happened and she didn't even know how, she began to smile. Almost. “I didn't kill her? How can you be sure?"
"When a genie kicks it, there are no remains, F. Trust me, Divinity isn't dead. You just zapped her on outta here. I have to say, it was rather impressive."
"I—I ... I don't know how I did it."
Christian twirled a strand of her long hair around his finger. “Me neither, but it was awe inspiring."
Secretly, Felicity wanted to do the happy witchcraft dance. However, there was one small wrinkle in her joyous discovery. Divinity wouldn't have needed to be gone had it not been for Christian, who, it would seem, was a liar.
She poked a finger into his bare, solid chest. “You, genie, are in the shits. I think you can quit calling me wife now."
"Oh, yeah ... about that wife thing..."
"Yeah, husband. About that wife thing."
"Are we going to have a fight, F?"
"Why, yes, yes we are. A big one, I think."
"Does it mean I have to sleep on the couch again? Cuz it's small."
"No, it means you get to sleep outside where dogs like you belong."
"Of all the indignities, F. It was only a white lie."
"No, it was a Crayola rainbow pack of lies. Explain. Now."
"Oh, it was not! It was just one. Technically, I am yours."
"Ah, yes, but that doesn't make me your wife. It makes you my slave."
"Are you saying you want a divorce because if so, I want Rico in the split."
"Rico is mine, you liar."
"Okay, how about that really nice set of dishes you're bound to break next disastrous spell casting session?"
"David Copperfield?"
"Yes, dear?"
"Speak and try to lace it with at least some of the truth."
"I did tell the truth."
"Did not."
"Did too."
"Aladdin?"
"Yes, dear?"
"Don't quibble semantics with me."
"Shutting up."
"Good, now explain and make it quick before I whack you one with my new, apparently magic, hands."
"That really was great, F."
"Quit with the schmooze and get to it. Explain."
"Well, let's see ... I am yours, technically, anyway. You did yank me from the bottle. However, Fatima, my dead wife, has the family from hell. My monster-in-law is only an inkling of how awful they can be. It's just like them to claim ownership of me. What they really want is my ability to grant them wishes. The Djinn only knows what they'd wish for. Power, money, something that would bring tragedy after tragedy, I'm sure."
"You're forgetting something here, magic man,” she reminded him as she turned to stare into his yummy gray-blue eyes.
"The wife thing, right?” he asked as if he didn't know that was the “thing” that troubled her most.
"Um, yeah. As I recall, I was your wife. Fatima was her name, you said. So, funny how I come to find out, from your freaky ex-mother-in-law, no less, that I'm not really your wife. Find that a little odd, do ya, genie?"
"Well, you do kinda look like her..."
"No, no, I don't think so. Charity/Chastity/whatever the hell her name is—is not a redhead. I am. In fact, we look nothing alike. Spit it out, Christian, or I promise you, I'm going to blow a gasket and well, I don't want to brag, but look what happened to your monster-in-law when I got a good pissed off happening."
"Yeah, that was sorta bad, huh?"
"Yeah. Now quit stalling."
"Well, when you sucked me out of my humble abode and you were all lying on the bed, it was kinda hot, ya know?"
Felicity frowned and narrowed her gaze, making him but a pinpoint of blurred genie.
"Oh, you're pissed, huh? Okay, look, I was stranded in that bottle for a long time. I knew you weren't my wife, but I do belong to you. I lied so you wouldn't have the ability to send me back. You do, you know—have the ability to send me back whenever you want to.” His hopeful look said he wanted reassurance.
The sentence hung in the air between them, just waiting for her to pooh-pooh the idea. But he'd lied to her just to save his genie butt from living a life of solitude in a bottle. A bottle that had every luxury known to man, except freedom.
He also worked like the dog he is to help you learn spells, Felicity. That has to mean something.
It meant he was covering his ass and what better way than to endear himself to her by helping her to graduate from Castoffsphere so she'd be so grateful she'd keep him? Plus, he'd gotten a little nookie in the bargain. How very convenient.
"I know what you're thinking in that twisted head of yours and it's not entirely true, F. At first, I did claim you as my wife to keep from going back to that glass prison, but then it became something much more."
Yeah, it became a ride on his magic carpet of love, is what it became...
"Something that has nothing to do with sex and everything to do with who you are, Felicity."
Oh, that's it, go for the jugular. Dammit all. “Forgive me if I don't believe you. If I were in your situation, I'd do whatever it took to keep from having to be shoved back in my Coke bottle too, Christian. I have a hard time believing you want anything more than your freedom, and I'm the key."
Christian shook his head. “Do you really believe I'm the kind of guy who could use you just to keep from being sentenced to a life of purgatory in a bottle?"
Felicity shot him a look of disbelief. “Helllooo, weren't you the one who went to the extreme by claiming I was your wife? If you ask me, that's a say anything kinda deal. Call me a pessimist, but I have a hard time believing any of the sappy shit you think you can throw my way."
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