by John Marco
‘Always running away, perhaps?’ suggested White-Eye.
Lorn didn’t like her perception. ‘You see very clearly,’ he said sourly, ‘for a blind woman.’
64
After the death of Jazana Carr, things slowly returned to normal in Koth. Word of what had happened to the Diamond Queen traveled quickly through the capital and then throughout the surrounding countryside. The people – who had learned to love the odd harlot from Norvor – mourned for her as if she were a Liirian. Great crowds gathered outside of Lionkeep, desperate for word of her demise. And Thorin, distraught over her death and rightfully blaming himself for it, walked among the throngs to speak to them and tell them how much he missed Jazana and how beloved they were to her. Not wanting a circus for a funeral, Thorin ordered Jazana’s body burned, cremating every beautiful bone of her in a blazing pyre that lit the courtyard. Norvan and Liirian soldiers kept the crowds far from the fire, and Thorin stood alone as he watched the smoke take Jazana’s remains to heaven. Two days later, he rode out alone to the apple orchard and spread her dust amid the winds.
Gilwyn watched the crowds gathering around Lionkeep from the safety of his high bedchamber. And when the pyre had burned to ashes, he watched the crowds disperse, returning to their sad lives without their Norvan patron. In the few short weeks he had been in Koth, Gilwyn had heard the remarkable tales about Jazana Carr and how generous she had been to the people of the city. The maids and stable boys of Lionkeep spoke of her with reverence, and everyone seemed to have a story about a kindness she had done for them. It was hard for Gilwyn to think of Jazana Carr like that, because he himself had met her once, years earlier in Norvor, and he not seen the side of her that so many people now worshipped. Still, he lamented her death, mostly because it had effected Thorin so badly, and while he recuperated in his bed Gilwyn was careful not to say anything that would bring his friend Thorin bad memories.
Aside from the excitement of the funeral, very little happened to Gilwyn those first weeks. He grew stronger, naturally, resting in his comfortable bed and eating the warm foods the kitchen provided in abundance. He had lost considerable weight during his trek across the continent, and was now determined to put back every single pound. At first he remained weak, the rass poison reasserting itself in his bloodstream. But as the days progressed he felt less and less of the lethargy that had plagued him for so long, and under the watchful eye of Lionkeep’s maids he soon grew strong again.
But Gilwyn was careful. It would be weeks or even months until Lukien returned again, and that meant he needed time. So Gilwyn kept to his bed for as long as he could, convincing Thorin that he was far too weak to start work in the library, or to even think about using its complicated catalogue machine. He whiled away his hours in his bedchamber, sometimes venturing out into Lionkeep’s halls, always keeping up the pretense of illness and lassitude.
Even so, the day finally came when Thorin decided that fresh air was all that Gilwyn really needed. It was nearly four weeks from the time Gilwyn had collapsed at the threshold of Lionkeep, and the day was sparkling and cool. That morning, Thorin came early to Gilwyn’s bedchamber, insisting that he dress himself and take a hearty breakfast. They were going riding, Thorin told him, and that meant he needed to be strong. Puzzled, Gilwyn did not argue with Thorin but instead did exactly as the baron requested. He pulled on the fine clothes that had been provided for him and slipped his feet into the boots that made walking with his clubbed foot possible. Downstairs, he found a steaming breakfast of eggs and bread waiting for him, which he quickly devoured. Then he went outside and found Thorin in the courtyard, waiting for him along with a pair of newly brushed geldings. There were no soldiers to accompany them, none of the Liirians who had been conscripted into service or the ubiquitous Norvan mercenaries, most of whom had stayed with Thorin even after the death of their queen. A sprinkling of stable hands moved in the distance, and that was all. With Thorin’s help, Gilwyn made his way into the saddle of his horse, then followed the baron out of Lionkeep.
Less than an hour later, he was staring up at the great library.
A stiff wind blew his curls into his eyes, but Gilwyn quickly brushed them aside. He wanted nothing to obscure his view. Knowing this, Thorin stood aside, watching him proudly, unveiling the magnificent structure he had destroyed and then rebuilt. Work had mostly stopped on the library, but from the outside it had been fully restored to its lost glory, and its shadow loomed over Gilwyn, striking him dumb. He had never thought to see this place again, and all the memories of all the years he had spent within its walls flooded over him, choking his voice and bringing a lump to his throat. Whatever other things Thorin had done – whatever wickedness he had occasioned – his new-found love for the library was obvious. He had spared no expense in returning it to glory, and the endless hours of toil showed. Gilwyn gazed up at the awesome edifice, the breeze whistling in his ears, and all at once he felt at home again.
‘It’s real, Gilwyn,’ said Thorin. ‘You should say something.’
There was only one thing Gilwyn wanted. ‘Can we go inside?’
‘Why would I bring you here if not to let you inside?’ said Thorin. ‘Of course, boy!’
He tossed himself off his horse, then helped Gilwyn down from his own mount, using his real, fleshy arm to guide him from the saddle. Thorin had not worn the entire suit of armour since Gilwyn had arrived, but had not once removed the parts of his enchanted arm, either. Gilwyn knew the armour gave Thorin strength, keeping him forever connected to Kahldris. And Thorin was careful not let anyone touch the black metal, especially not Gilwyn. With Gilwyn following close behind, he went to the great doors and pulled them open effortlessly, a feat that should have taken more than a little sweat. At once the candlelit interior of the library greeted them, calling to Gilwyn with its polished ceiling and walls of glowing marble. The scent of the place had changed, thought Gilwyn, but as he rushed up through the threshold he saw at once that it was just as before. Newer, perhaps, but mostly unchanged, honeycombed with reading rooms and staggered by rows and rows of dark wood shelves, all of them lined with precious books. Gilwyn moved like a dream through the main hall, his eyes wide, his head swiveling to take in every marvelous nuance. He laughed, giddy from the sense of homecoming.
‘It’s wonderful, Thorin!’ he called, racing ahead of the baron. ‘I can almost hear Figgis calling me!’
The sconces on the wall flickered with soft light. They had all been lit, every one of them, making a constellation along the smooth walls. Thorin beamed, proud of his accomplishment, and of the surprise he had been able to gift to Gilwyn. He followed Gilwyn through the hall, but not so close that the young man could not go exploring, peaking his head into every little cranny of the place and pulling manuscripts from the infinite shelves. Gilwyn could barely control his glee. It took him spinning through the library, his mind racing with happy memories. He shouted in the hall just to hear his voice echo. In the giant western study chamber, a place where he’d once seen an Andolan scholar fall asleep in a bowl of soup, he stood up on the table just to reach the highest shelves, balancing on his clubbed foot and pulling down a book of ancient maps with his badly fused hand. The book tumbled out of his buttery fingers, spilling to the floor, and like the good librarian he used to be Gilwyn hurried down to retrieve it.
‘Leave it,’ said Thorin. ‘There are people who clean up here now, Gilwyn.’
‘No,’ Gilwyn argued. ‘No, I can’t.’ He stooped, then smiled at the baron. ‘These are books, Thorin. Where did you get them all? I thought they were all lost.’
‘No, not all of them,’ said Thorin. ‘Too many, but not all. You see, Gilwyn? I have spared nothing to bring this place back to life.’
‘Yes,’ agreed Gilwyn, surveying all the new workmanship. ‘I can see that.’ He placed the map book onto the table. ‘But why, Thorin? I don’t understand. You never wanted the library built. You opposed Akeela when he built it.’
‘I did,’ said
Thorin. He sauntered into the room, taking books nonchalantly from the shelves only to glance at them. Gilwyn watched a peculiar smile twist his face. He laid his hand on the smooth wood as if checking for warmth. ‘But I see now what a fine place this always was. You opened my eyes to it, Gilwyn, with all your stories! I never wanted it destroyed.’ Thorin made sure to get Gilwyn’s attention, going to stand in front of him. ‘It’s important to me that you believe that. I never gave the order for the library to be attacked. I gave orders for it to be protected!’
Gilwyn nodded, though he had his doubts. ‘I believe you, Thorin.’
‘I hope you do, boy. I would never want to harm this place, knowing how much it means to you.’
‘All right.’ Gilwyn managed to hoist himself onto one of the reading tables, letting his legs dangle. The quiet chamber soothed him, a good place for a serious talk. ‘But I still don’t understand why you rebuilt it. I mean, I’ve heard others talking about it. They say you want to bring Koth back to glory. But I want to hear it from you, Thorin. Make me understand.’
‘There is truth in those rumours you’ve heard,’ said Thorin. He stood before Gilwyn like a felon, letting the boy question him. ‘Koth cannot be great again if the library is not reborn. The library is the symbol of Koth, of all Liirian greatness. It must be reborn so that Liiria can live again.’
Gilwyn grinned. ‘Now you sound like Akeela himself!’
‘It’s not a joke, Gilwyn. The land bleeds. And the people have been hollowed out by war. There’s nothing left inside of them, just rottenness and helplessness. They have to believe in themselves again. They have to believe in me.’
‘I think I see your meaning,’ said Gilwyn. ‘But it’s going to take more than gold, Thorin. You can make this place a palace. You can fill it with every word ever written, but people won’t come unless there’s peace. And if people don’t come . . .’
‘I know,’ Thorin lamented. ‘And there will be peace. Just as soon as my enemies are done with, Liiria will have peace. A thousand years of it!’
There was madness in the old man’s eyes, the kind Gilwyn hadn’t seen too much lately. Thorin had been better the past two weeks, looking less like a madman than he had that first night. Gilwyn decided not to press him.
‘Show me the rest,’ he said, sliding down from the table. ‘Show me the painting Lucio did for you.’
‘Ah, yes,’ crowed Thorin. ‘It is magnificent. He is still working on it. Still, Gilwyn! The man is a genius, but slow.’
Gilwyn laughed, heading back toward the hall. He had heard of the fabulous ceiling the legendary Lucio had done for Thorin, a gift to the people of Liiria, and was anxious to see it. But before Gilwyn could turn toward the chamber, Thorin’s words stopped him cold.
‘After you’ve seen the ceiling, we’ll go to the catalogue room.’
Gilwyn paused. ‘The catalogue room?’ He turned to face Thorin. ‘Today?’
‘Why not today?’ asked Thorin. ‘You are well enough, I think, and time is running out, Gilwyn.’
‘No,’ said Gilwyn. He made a grimace of pain. ‘I don’t think I should, not today, Thorin. I’m not ready for it.’
Thorin seemed disappointed. ‘Gilwyn, you did promise me . . .’
‘I know, Thorin. And I will help you. I’ll do my best for you, but not today. Not yet.’ Gilwyn stalled, searching for an excuse. ‘You know how complicated it is,’ he said. ‘I’m not well enough to start trying to figure it out.’ He put his hand to his head. ‘My head still hurts terribly, and I’m not seeing well at all.’
‘You’re not?’
‘No.’ Gilwyn sighed, then coughed. ‘I didn’t want to tell you. I didn’t want you to worry. I’m fine, really, but . . . tired.’
‘Tired.’ Thorin gave a sceptical frown. Then, as if someone were speaking in his ear, he cocked his head to listen.
‘What are you doing?’ Gilwyn asked.
Thorin hesitated. ‘Kahldris. He does not believe you, Gilwyn.’
‘No? Was Kahldris ever bitten by a rass?’
‘Kahldris thinks you should be well enough by now,’ said Thorin. ‘And in truth, you should be.’
Cornered, Gilwyn grew defensive. ‘I can’t work with the catalogue today, Thorin. It doesn’t matter what Kahldris thinks. I’m telling you I’m sick.’
In all the days that Gilwyn lay in bed, Kahldris had never come to him, not even at his weakest. He had expected the Akari to appear, to threaten him or cajole him out of his sickbed, but Thorin had forbidden it, Gilwyn supposed. It was a good sign, and Gilwyn knew Thorin was making progress. But he needed more time.
‘All right, Gilwyn,’ said Thorin gently. ‘You don’t have to look at the machine if you’re not ready.’
Gilwyn smiled. ‘Thank you, Thorin. I will look at it, just as soon as I’m able.’
Without another word, Thorin turned and headed back the way they’d come. Gilwyn followed him, his good mood deflated. Obviously, they were going back to Lionkeep without seeing Lucio’s painting. Gilwyn knew he had to play along and not make a fuss. But before they made it halfway to the entrance, he detoured himself into one of the smaller reading chambers. Annoyed, Thorin called for him to come out, but Gilwyn refused. There were a dozen chairs in the little room, each of them exactly the same, crammed among the books so that scholars could study peacefully. Gilwyn chose one of the chairs, faced it toward the entrance, and sat down to wait for Thorin. The baron came in after him, pausing in the threshold.
‘We’re going, Gilwyn.’
Gilwyn shook his head. ‘Not yet.’ Sullen, he asked Thorin, ‘Is that why you brought me here? Just to get me to work on the machine?’
‘Certainly not,’ said the baron. ‘I thought you were well enough to see what has been done here. It’s important that you see.’
‘Why?’ asked Gilwyn.
‘Because,’ said Thorin, sauntering into the room, ‘this will be your library soon.’
Gilwyn sat up. ‘Say that again?’
‘The library needs someone to run it,’ said Thorin. ‘I can’t do it. Neither can anyone else. That’s your job, Gilwyn. It’s your destiny.’
‘What? No! I mean, I can’t—’
‘Why can’t you?’ said Thorin. ‘Because you are promised to White-Eye? I have considered that already. It does not matter.’
‘But it does matter, Thorin. Of course it does! I love White-Eye. And someday I’m going to return to her.’
Thorin’s face darkened. ‘I know you think that.’
Gilwyn studied him. ‘What aren’t you telling me, Thorin? There’s something . . .’
‘The library needs you, Gilwyn. This is where you belong. Not in Jador. You were born to this place.’
‘Thorin, White-Eye needs me too.’
‘No,’ said Thorin. ‘You may think she does, but she does not.’
‘She’s blind, Thorin,’ argued Gilwyn. ‘Your demon made her so. Do not tell me that she doesn’t need me. She does, more than ever now because of Kahldris.’
Thorin turned away, hiding his face. ‘Gilwyn, there are things you still haven’t worked out. You mean to save me from Kahldris. I understand. Others have tried, and believe it or not I am grateful to them all.’
‘But you are better now, Thorin,’ said Gilwyn. He went to the old man, speaking soothingly. ‘I have seen the change in you in just the past few weeks.’
‘I am better,’ Thorin admitted. ‘I am myself again, because I am happy you are here and because I have learned a little how to placate Kahldris. But it is not what you think, Gilwyn. I belong to Kahldris.’
‘No,’ spat Gilwyn. ‘I don’t believe that. You’re nothing like Kahldris, no matter what he makes you do.’
‘If you think that, you are a fool.’ Thorin’s eyes blazed. ‘Look at me, boy. I have my arm again, and all my manhood. I have my vigour back and a kingdom to rebuild. I have returned home. These are fabulous things, and it was Kahldris who bestowed them on me. I owe him a debt.’
/> ‘He gets to live through you, just like any other Akari,’ retorted Gilwyn. ‘He uses you to walk through this world. He has drank a river of blood thanks to you, Thorin. You don’t owe him anything.’
Pain pinched Thorin’s face. ‘Will you take what I offer you, Gilwyn? The library is a great gift. You can be happy here.’
Gilwyn hesitated. ‘Thorin, I don’t know. I don’t understand what you’re saying.’
Thorin put his hand on Gilwyn’s shoulder. ‘I want so much to give you the things you lost when you left here. Can’t you see? I’m trying to rebuild all of it. And when you returned, you put something good in my heart.’
‘You’re scaring me, Thorin. I’m not going to let anything happen to you.’
‘But you can’t stop it! This is what I’m telling you, boy. Lukien is coming to kill me. What will you do when he gets here? You mean to stall until he arrives. That’s your plan, I know it is. You’re well enough to use the machine! Any fool can see that. You’re just waiting, hoping that something good will happen.’
‘All right,’ said Gilwyn, flushing with embarrassment. ‘So it’s true. But I’ve seen the change in you, Thorin. I have! I am reaching you. Don’t deny that; I see it too clearly. And if Lukien is coming to kill you, then I won’t let him. I’m going to stay with you, no matter what. Do you understand that?’
There was real warmth in Thorin’s touch as he tightened his hand on Gilwyn’s shoulder. ‘One day soon I’ll have to stop calling you ‘boy.’ You’re a man now. When did that happen, I wonder?’
‘Tell me what you’re keeping from me,’ pressed Gilwyn. ‘Why are you giving me the library? Why can’t I return to Grimhold?’
‘The reason should be obvious. What do you think Kahldris wants from me, Gilwyn?’
Gilwyn thought for a moment. ‘Your body. That’s what all the Akari want, a chance to be among the living.’
Thorin shook his head. ‘No. Think deeper. Think like a demon.’
‘Thorin, I don’t want these riddles. Tell me what he wants from you!’