He pulled back and smiled with his mouth that time, twisting me into knots with each millimeter it grew. "You ready?"
"One sec." I flashed him a little smile and darted into the living room, grabbing my stuff for the day.
He waited for me by the door, waving me out of the house and locking the door afterward. With a cool smile, he helped me onto his bike and dropped me off at the front of the center. Dex thread his fingers through mine and bit my knuckles before shooing me inside and taking off after I'd gotten in the building.
I swam and just let myself relax. I wasn't going to worry about whatever precarious relationship I found myself in with Dex, what Sonny would say when I finally called after avoiding him for two days, any of the mess with the Reapers, or who else my dad owed money to. It was one of those things that was completely out of my control.
Dex picked me up afterward, patting my thigh as I threw my leg over the back of his bike. The ride to Pins was broken into pieces when he'd palm my leg at every stop light. As soon as he'd parked his Dyna in his usual spot in front of the shop, he held out a hand to help me off—though he knew I didn't need it—and didn't let go.
I spotted the note on the door first. Dex’s eyes had been on the street, inspecting it up and down like he was looking for something, and I figured he’d crossed that path so many times he could have done it blindfolded. I tugged on his hand, earning those glowing blue embers in return.
“I swear I paid all the bills on time.” I shifted my eyes in the direction of the door with a tilt of my chin.
Dex’s attention shifted to the envelope that had been taped up. His strides got longer, making him pull me just a little as we closed the distance to his shop. He didn’t bother opening the door before tearing the blank white envelope across the top, yanking out an index sized card from inside.
The first sign I had that something was wrong was the flexing of a vein in his temple, then the corners of his eyes wrinkled, and finally his jaw clenched. He looked up and turned around, sweeping up and down the street in one glance. His grip tightened before unlocking the door and shoving me not so gently inside, locking it behind us.
“What happened?”
His eyes cut over to me, wide and battling some unknown war I had no clue of. I kind of expected him not to say anything, to keep me from worrying or something equally chauvinistic-like, but Dex shot me a hard look instead. “Shit’s up with The Reapers. I need to go talk to Luther, babe.” His hand tugged on mine. “Lock the door after me, and don’t open it unless it’s me or one of the guys.”
Oh crap. I nodded at him. “What if you’re late?” It wasn’t unheard of for Blake to get to work fifteen or twenty minutes after opening.
Dex shrugged. “Don’t open it, Ritz. It's nothin' bad but I need to go see Lu.” He trailed his fingers over my knuckles. “I’ll be back as soon as I can.”
He left, leaving me to think about what Liam had said about the deadline for the revised debt. Friggin' crap. Why the heck were so many things out of my control? I wasn't a control freak but the complete absence of it was alarming and frustrating. Everything would hopefully work itself out once Sonny found our dad.
In hindsight, I should have known better than to ever assume that.
Chapter Thirty
There were very few things that ranked higher than calling Sonny on my list of things I didn't want to do.
Like getting my yearly pap.
Or having a root canal.
I’d even go as far as to say that I’d rather get an enema while stuck in a room with a flying roach.
For a few minutes in the break room, I'd even considered having a drink to relax me a little bit before facing the firing squad also known as my brother. But... yeah, no. No. I'd put it off for enough time. Now, with the note that had appeared on Pins' door, my time had run out.
The first thing out of his mouth after he picked up was, "I know your phone's not broken, kid."
I sighed. Of course this wasn't going to be easy. "I'm a big ol' chicken."
Sonny huffed. His tone was rough and straight to the point. "No shit."
"I'm sorry," I moaned pitifully. He had more than enough reasons to be mad at me for ignoring his calls but still. When Sonny was mad it was like having your guardian angel disappointed in you. It hurt. "I know I suck."
He huffed again. "The only thing that sucks is that you couldn't just call and tell me what you did. I had to hear it from Luther. Not you."
This conversation sounded remarkably like one I had with my mom when I forgot to take my medicine. Do you want to end up like me, Rissy? Obviously it was completely different subjects but the point was the same. I seemed to disappoint the people I loved the most sometimes.
And that...
Guilt and pain ripped at the cavern of my ribs.
"What pisses me off is that you lied to me, and then ignored me when I called to talk about it." Ugh, I felt even worse because what he said was mostly true. He would have been mad but maybe not as much?
Maybe. It was too late to even think about it though. The fact was, I'd been a coward and an asshole.
My head hung. "I really am sorry, Son. I just wanted to help, and I realized too late how stupid it was."
Sonny paused and the silence felt suffocating. "Kid, I get that you'd do something stupid if you thought it'd help. Trust me, I'd do dumber shit than that for you but you know, you know, how much it pisses me off when you keep shit from me."
"I know." There was no way my voice sounded as pitiful and crappy as I felt. Because he was right. We'd been through this before.
"Yeah, I know you know," he answered back gruffly.
The urge to say sorry again was right on my tongue but it wouldn't come out. I knew my brother. I knew my brother enough to not be surprised he was mad at me for keeping things from him, and I was well aware of the fact that the word 'sorry' meant nothing to him. Actions spoke louder than words, he'd probably say.
And I'd blown it, and then blown it again by fielding his calls.
"Did they tell you everything?" I asked him slowly. If there was something no one had mentioned before then there might be hope for the big pile of shit I'd dug myself into.
"I hope so. You went to Busty's, and that mother—Liam showed up, wanting you to go with him," he said. "Anything else?"
Was there a trace of a challenge in his voice?
Crap. I bit my lip and took a deep breath. If all my cards were on the line, I might as well drop the bomb too. There was a chance someone had already mentioned to him a part of whatever the heck was going on with Dex but if they hadn't....
Double crap.
"I don't really know for sure what's going on with me and Dex but—," but what? What exactly do you tell your older half-brother about having irrational feelings toward his friend? His friend that was your boss. His friend that he'd left you with. "I really like him and I'm pretty positive he feels the same... in his own way."
Just like a Band-Aid right?
Except there was more stunted silence on Sonny's end. At least a minute passed before he spoke again.
"Yeah, I know, kid. You're not the only one ignoring my calls." That didn't exactly surprise me. "I had a feeling it was headed in that direction but Dex knows what's coming to him as soon as we get back."
What was coming to him?
"Sonny, he's good to me—"
My brother laughed. "Oh, I'm sure he is."
Mortified. I was absolutely mortified. "Not like that!" Well, sort of like that after today.
"I know what you meant, Ris. I’m not blind," he bit back sharply. "I’m sure he's good to you, that's why I haven't driven back to beat his ass just yet. I'm saving it for after we get your dad. I'll give Dex that much until then. If he was Wheels or Buck, then that'd be a different story but I know him. Dex has more than enough phone numbers if he was just interested in playing around."
Ouch. Well. The truth wasn’t always made with stuffing and fur. "Don't be mad about t
hat. It's not a big deal."
"He knows it's a big deal, and he knows what the consequences are. You're a big girl, Ris, so I'm not gonna tell you what to do. You might not trust me, but I trust you."
Shit. I was the second biggest piece of crap on the planet after my dad with that one line. But what could I say to make the situation better? Nothing. Absolutely nothing and I needed to live with that. "I do trust you, I promise. I don't trust anyone more than you."
He sighed. "I'm sure, kid."
I banged my forehead on the edge of the table. "All right."
Sonny didn't say anything else.
"Oh, and there was a note on Pins' door when we got here today." I went on to tell him what Dex had said, and then reminded him in case no one had told him about the deadline on the debt coming up.
"I got some intel on a few more places he could be staying at. Trip and I are heading up to northern Cali tomorrow to look. I'll call you if I find anything out," he promised.
"Okay."
He grunted. "See ya, Ris." Then, he hung up. Just like that.
And just like that, I felt like the biggest douche on the planet.
When was the last time Sonny had ever gotten off the phone with me in that way? Years? When he'd found out that the doctors had found more cells in my arm and I hadn't told him until my treatment was nearly over? In trying to spare him, wasn't I doing the same thing he'd done by not telling me about our secret little brother?
Eh. Kind of.
Okay, it was exactly the same. I'd thought I'd learned my lesson at nineteen but apparently not. The reality of it made me feel not just crappy but useless. All these people went through so much for me and I just sat at work or at Dex's house and betrayed them with my lies and bullshit. What kind of crap was that?
What could I do? This whole feeling helpless crap didn't sit well in my stomach. I'd never relied on other people, and I'd done what I needed to do to keep going for as long as I could remember.
It may have only been a few minutes that I sat there, staring at the table while I tried to figure out what I could do, when it hit me. Where this all stemmed from. What could fix the biggest issue. What I could do after doing nothing. If Dad wasn't where he'd lived for the past fourteen years, then why wouldn't he be where he'd lived before then?
Florida.
God. I'd been so stuck in my own world I hadn't even thought of it.
The clock on the wall said it was only a little after seven. If I got my work done fast, I could probably squeeze in a few phone calls to motels that were by where we used to live, or even by yia-yia's old house. It sounded a little too easy but then again, Curt Taylor had done a ton of dumb crap in his life. He wasn't exactly the brightest guy.
I went back up front and finished off a supply order, added the newest figures to Quickbooks, and made exactly two calls to motels that came up within ten miles of Tamarac when Dex pulled his bike into his usual parking spot.
The chances of my plan working were pretty slim but I figured it was worth the effort.
"I'm trying to get in contact with my dad," I told the employee. Liar! "He's staying at your hotel and isn't answering his cell phone. He's a diabetic and I'm really worried." I was going to hell for this. "Is there any way you can patch me through to his room?" I asked the lady on the other end of the line.
Luckily for me, the woman didn't hesitate as much as the man at the other motel had. "Sure. What's his room number, sweetie?"
I watched Dex through the door. Good lord, he was hot. "I don't remember what room he mentioned. I'm sorry. The reservation is under Curt Taylor."
There was no pause. No hesitation. She made a humming noise before making a squeaky noise that almost took away from Dex pulling the door to the shop open and coming in, giving me a tired but somehow beautiful smile. "Sorry honey. I don't have anything under that name. Is your mom with him?"
Ha. I wished. "That's weird. He might be with his friend. Let me try calling his cell again. I appreciate your help."
The lady bid me a good day, and I set the phone down on the cradle. Dex made his way around the desk, settling both palms on my shoulders
I tipped my head back and smiled. "Hi."
This slow, small smile crept across Dex's square jaw. God, he was so good-looking it sucked. "Hey babe. What are you doin'?"
"Calling motels around where I used to live to see if I can find my dad," I explained to him. "I don't know why I didn't think about it earlier. He doesn't seem to be where Sonny's at, so maybe he went back there."
A small line creased his eyebrows as he wound my ponytail around his fist. "Good thinkin'. Might take a while to call a bunch of places, Ritz." He tugged on my hair just enough so that I felt it at the roots. "Lemme talk to Lu and see if he knows anybody in Florida that might help us out."
Us. The us didn't escape me for a second. My heart relished it and might have even tap-danced.
Focus! "You don't need to bother him. I don't mind calling."
Those dark blue eyes rolled back. "Babe, if I thought I'd be botherin' him—"
"You wouldn't ask?" I offered.
He snickered. "No, I'd still ask but I wouldn't have told ya in case he said no. For you and Son, he'd do it."
"Well, remind me to thank him even if he doesn't know anyone."
Dex nodded. His other hand left my shoulder to palm the back of my neck as he ducked low. "You feelin' okay?"
Oh my. How stupid was it that his question made me blush from my belly button all the way up? The worst part was that he could see it. I'd taken a painkiller earlier, and besides just a little bit of soreness that was way less bothersome than my period cramps, I was good. Real good.
"I'm okay." Real, real okay. "Is everything fine with the Reapers?"
His expression didn't flicker or cloud over with worry, which was a good thing. He settled for a confident nod that was only distracted by what seemed like an intense thought. "Got it all sorted out, babe. Don't need to worry about 'em anymore."
My eyes narrowed on their own, suspiciously. "What did you do?"
"You don't need to worry about 'em anymore. We dealt with 'em," he answered with complete seriousness.
"Please tell me you didn't do anything to get in trouble, Dex." I wrapped my hand around his wrist. "Please, please, please tell me that you didn't do anything stupid." A certain amount of dread settled on my shoulders. If he'd done something that would land him back in jail, I couldn't forgive myself. I definitely wouldn't be able to ever forgive my dad for it either.
That little smile stayed on his lips. "Nothin' like that, Ritz. I promise."
I wanted to doubt him but when had he ever given me a reason to? Never. But the dread stayed in place. "Dex," I pleaded with him.
He squeezed my shoulder. "Promise. Nothin' like that."
My expression must have said that I wasn't completely convinced because he snickered again, squeezing my shoulder.
"Ritz, trust me. Nobody's gettin' into trouble except your pa. You and Son are off the hook, but we still gotta find him and get him so he can deal with the fucks he's gotten wrapped up with."
"Okay." I couldn't say I was relieved exactly but as long as Sonny would be fine, then that's all that mattered. "Thank you for taking care of it for us. You didn't need to but it means a lot to me." And the words just poured out of my mouth, leaving me vulnerable. "You're kind of a blessing."
His smile turned weary and gentle, those bright blue eyes searching, searching, searching. Dex disentangled his fingers from their fist and pinched my chin. "Sure, babe."
I grinned at him again and pulled on his two middle fingers. "You have an appointment coming in soon."
He flipped his grip, rubbing my fingers between his fingertips. "I didn't forget." He looked around. "Blake here?"
"In the back." He'd gotten to Pins an hour late but that was our secret.
The poor guy had left his sunglasses on when he came in, only bothering to wave a greeting. There was something wrong but I
didn't want to push him when he seemed like he needed space. And his sunglasses said exactly that.
Dex ran his fingers through my ponytail before disappearing down the hallway a minute later.
I worked the rest of the day setting up new accounts on a couple of social media websites that I thought would be a good idea to branch into. When I had the chance, I called one or two more places that had come up in the motel search. Regardless of whether Luther knew people who could help or not, I didn't want to rely on that. Anything was better than sitting around waiting for things to fix themselves.
Under Locke Page 39