by Erin Osborne
“The fuck?” I question him, not sure of what else to say right now.
“Carson didn’t want to be a part of the family business. Because his mom married someone beneath her, he wasn’t raised around the family. His mom has cancer and the money he’s pullin’ in from the club wasn’t enough for her treatments. They didn’t have insurance because they were tryin’ to stay off the grid,” Gunner fills us in. “His dad was killed less than a year ago. Now his mom is sick as fuck. The only way she could see out was to contact the family. When they found out he was Prospectin’ with us, that was Juan’s in. Carson had no choice but to help him. I guess he grew a conscious after all and tried to warn the girls instead of lettin’ them get hurt.”
“If that were the case, we wouldn’t fuckin’ be here. My woman wouldn’t be in fuckin’ surgery while my boy is in NICU,” I yell out my frustration. “Becky wouldn’t be laid up in a room and neither would Able. He didn’t grow fuckin’ anythin’. I’m gonna go see my boy. Someone better let me know the very fuckin’ second Victoria is out of surgery. I’ll be the first person in to see her. You all fuckin’ got me?”
Not a single person says a word as I leave the waiting room. After getting directions to the NICU, I hit the elevator and make my way there. My breathing is shallow and fast while my heart shatters in my chest. I have no clue if my woman is gonna make it out of surgery. Or what the hell is going on. All I know is anger and rage flood me as I realize how easy it is for someone to betray us. There’s no way in hell I’d ever take money over loyalty to the club. I’d have gone to the club for help.
When I finally make it to the NICU, I see Pyro standing guard. His attention is through the window of the nursery and I know this has to be killing him right now. Pyro’s memories must be haunting him like no other time as he watches over his nephew.
Stepping up next to him, we stand in silence for a few minutes as I look at all the babies. Without a word, Pyro points to the bassinet closest to us. My baby boy is laying there in nothing but the smallest diaper I’ve ever seen in my life. His little body is so small as wires seem to take up most of his body. Tears fill my eyes as I sense how strong our little guy is already.
A nurse makes her way out to us and stops dead in her tracks.
“Um, can I help you?” she questions us tentatively.
“Yeah. That’s my boy in there,” I respond, pointing to him. “What’s goin’ on with him?”
“Let me grab the nurse in charge,” she responds, practically running from us.
Pyro and I laugh without taking our eyes off the baby who I’m already feeling my heart fill with love for. After a few minutes which feel like hours, a nurse comes out and lets Pyro and I know what’s going on. She uses a ton of huge words neither one of us know what the hell she’s talking about.
“Listen, I have no clue what you’re talkin’ about. I’m a simple man. Can you dumb it down for us?” I question her.
“Basically, his oxygen level dropped a little bit. He’s on oxygen to help him out. We’ve got a heart monitor on him to keep an eye on things for now. Last, we haven’t gotten him to eat yet. It’s concerning but not unheard of. It’s too soon for you to hold him or anything right now. It would be best if you both simply kept an eye on him from here,” she lets us know. “Does he have a name yet?”
“Kaysen Michael Johnson,” I state as she nods her head, writing it down in his chart.
Before I can say another word, our phones go off. Pulling mine from my pocket, I see it’s a message from Satan. Vic is out of surgery and being moved to a room. I can go in and see her in a few minutes.
“Go, Tags. Make sure my sister knows I’m up here with your boy and I love her,” Pyro demands, never once taking his eyes from his nephew.
“Thank you,” I state simply, placing my hand on his shoulder.
Racing from the NICU floor, I make my way down to the room Satan sent me. I’m not even sure if she’s in the room yet. At this point, I don’t give a fuck about anything other than getting eyes on my woman. Coming to a halt outside of her room, I catch my breath before walking in there.
Once I’m under control, I push the door open and my eyes land on my woman. Walking closer, I see her eyes are closed, bruises and cuts mar her beautiful skin. Tubes and wires cover her body as bandages cover so much of her body that’s visible from under the blankets.
Victoria looks so small in the bed as I step right up next to her. My heart breaks and tears streak down my face. There is nothing I can do about the emotion pouring through me right now. This is not any way I ever wanted to see my woman and I wasn’t her to protect her.
Pulling the chair up next to her, I lay my head on the bed next to her. I’m not leaving her fucking side until she can leave here. Even as the nurses come and go to check on her, I don’t leave her side. No one is gonna fucking make me leave her either.
Chapter Thirty-Nine
Victoria
AN INCESSENT BEEPING noise disrupts my sleep. Trying to reach out, so I can shut my damn alarm off, I realize I can’t move my arm. Pain fills my body as the beeping sound gets louder and faster. I try to open my eyes as blinding light fills me. Quickly I shut my eyes once more against the white light that’s making my head pound even worse.
“Baby, you need to relax,” I hear Tags’ tormented voice filter through the haze consuming me right now.
“T-T-Tags?” I question, trying to open my eyes once more. “What happened?”
“You don’t remember?” he asks me, leaning over my bed.
Thinking, I try to think about what happened. I remember going to the building Torch bought for Becky so she can open a bakery. We walked through the entire building. When we were done, I asked her to go back to the clubhouse with me. There was some type of gut feeling I had as we were leaving. Once we were walking to the car, there was an explosion. That’s the last thing I remember.
Tears pour down my face as my hands fly to my stomach. It’s not as round as before. My wide, swollen, tear filled eyes meet Tags’.
“They had to do a C-section baby. Kaysen is in the NICU right now. His oxygen level has dropped a few times and he was jaundice,” he lets me know and I can tell he’s holding things back from me.
“How long have I been here?” I ask him as there’s a knock on the door.
Looking over, I see a man wearing a white coat with a file in his hands. He’s looking down at it’s contents as he makes his way over to my bedside.
“You’re awake,” he states, shock filling his voice. “How are you feeling?”
“Like I’ve been blown to hell,” I respond, not bothering to hide the truth from anyone.
“Yes, I understand that. You’re vitals look good. Have you been filled in on the injuries you have?” the doctor asks me.
“No. I just woke up. I’d like to know how long I’ve been here.”
“Certainly. You’ve been here for a week now. At first we kept you sedated so you could heal. Two days ago we weaned you off the medicine and it took a bit for you to wake up on your own. You have a gash on your head from hitting the ground so hard. We’ve been monitoring it and there doesn’t seem to be any damage done other than the gash we stitched closed. There is some burning to the back of your arms and legs, it shouldn’t cause too much scarring because you were far enough away from the blast. We did have to deliver the baby by cesarean because he was in distress. Right now, he’s currently in NICU but doing well,” he tells us. “Other than that, you have a sprained wrist, broken ankle from landing, and contusions and bruising along most of your body. You’re extremely lucky more damage wasn’t done to you.”
“What about Becky?” I question, my thoughts now turning to my friend.
“She’s okay. She was released a few days ago and hasn’t been back since. Torch is with her,” Tags lets me know.
“When can I see our baby?” I ask the doctor, needing to see him.
“You’ll be getting up to move around in a few hours. I’m not s
ure it’s a good idea to go up there to see him just yet,” the doctor tries to inform me.
“Yeah, that doesn’t work for me. I need to lay eyes on my son. It’s not enough for someone else to let me know how he’s doing. I will see him one way or another. Even if I have to check myself out of this fucking place,” I order, not caring who hears what I’m saying right now.
No one is going to keep me away from our son. Tags places a hand on me trying to calm me down. I don’t care about calming down as the monitor begins to beep faster once again. The doctor simply stands there and stares at me.
“Look fucker,” I begin. “I’ve lost a baby in the past and this is my son we’re talking about. He’s in the NICU and I want to see him with my own two fucking eyes. If not, there is no way in hell I’m going to calm down. If you even think about giving me another sedative or anything else, I’ll cut a bitch.”
“Fine. In a little while you can go see your son. While you’re here you will be required to be in a wheelchair due to your injuries. We’ll be keeping you for a few days at least,” he tells me, not hiding his disdain as Tags growls next to me.
Without another word, the doctor turns on his heel and leaves my room. I could give two fucks right now about how he feels. No one is going to keep me from my son. If my injuries were worse than what they are, I would understand. They aren’t.
“Why hasn’t Becky been back here?” I question Tags as the door opens again.
Torch steps in the room and I automatically look behind him for my friend. She’s not there. Pyro, Satan, and Grinder saunter into my room. They’re eyes are wide as they realize I’m awake now. My brothers rush to my bedside, being careful not to hurt me.
“How long have you been awake?” Torch asks me, his voice full of pain he wasn’t informed before now.
“Not long. Didn’t have a chance to let anyone know because the doctor came in,” I answer him as Tags begins laughing his ass off.
“What the hell is so funny?” Pyro demands.
“Your sister just went off on her doctor of the day,” he replies, laughing once again. “Told the doctor she was goin’ to see her son and if anyone tried to sedate her, so she’d calm down she’d cut a bitch.”
After a minute, every guy in the room begins laughing their asses off. It’s the tension release that’s been needed. I can tell that even though I’ve been out of it for the last week. All of them seem lighter somehow instead of the worried, pissed off assholes that walked in the room.
“When are they gonna let you go up there?” Pyro asks.
“I don’t know. He simply said in a little while or something,” I respond to him.
The guys nod their heads and the tension increases in the room once more. I’m not going to like what they have to tell me.
“What’s going on?” I question, trying to get comfortable in the shitty hospital bed.
“We lost Carson. He’s not gettin’ a funeral or anythin’ a Prospect normally would. We have it on good authority he knew about the explosion in advance and was feedin’ information to the asshole who wants to take the women of our club,” Satan states, letting me know more than I’d normally be privy to. “Able has been released from the hospital too. I’m not sure when you’re gettin’ out just yet, so we’ll have round the clock security on you and the baby.”
“That fucker set the club up? Why would anyone do that?” I ask, my gaze flitting from one man to the next.
“His mom is sick and he’s part of the family of men after you all. The only way he saw a way to pay for her treatments is by givin’ up information on the club. Pretty sure he knew the explosives were there. Or set them after followin’ Torch earlier in the day. “Somehow he’s connected to this whole thing. We’re still not sure if there is anyone else involved in this,” Grinder states, looking at the rest of the men.
I know they want to change the subject now. I’ve definitely gotten more than most any other woman involved in the club. So, I turn my attention toward my oldest brother.
“Where’s Becky? I want to see her,” I order.
“She’s home. Last I knew she was restin’,” he says, not quite meeting my eyes.
“That’s not all there is to it,” I reply.
“She feels guilty as hell about what happened. Especially with Kaysen bein’ in the NICU. I’m not sure she’s gonna come see you,” he informs me.
“What the fuck?” I practically shriek. “This is not on her. It’s on the fuckers who chose to go after women involved with the club. You tell her if I have to leave here to go see her I’m going to.”
“I’ll try.”
It’s been hours and I’m finally on my way up to see Kaysen. Tags and I had talked about names before and I’m glad he chose Kaysen for our little guy. We had been teetering back and forth on a few different ones.
Tags is pushing the wheelchair as my brothers flank the side. I’m shaking with nerves for seeing our son. My man let me know he’s only been up once to see him. That was the day of the incident and while I was in surgery. There was no way in hell he was going to leave my side while I was sedated even if I didn’t know he was there. Someone trusted has been with our son the rest of the time.
Raine and Hollie have also been up to see him. Though no one has been allowed in to hold him yet. I’ll be finding out the reason for that soon. No one is going to keep me from my baby without a valid reason for it. I’ll never put his life in jeopardy because I want to hold my son. His health is more important than my wants.
We get up to the NICU floor and Tags pushes me to the huge glass window. After looking at the babies through the glass, he points out our son. Kaysen is so damn tiny, tears begin to freefall down my face. Wires are connected to him, but I’m not sure what they are. I’ll be finding out.
Tags gently knocks on the window when he sees a nurse walking through. She makes her way outside the door and heads directly for us.
“You must be little Kaysen’s mom,” she says, her voice gentle and soothing.
“I am. Can you let me know what’s going on with him please?” I question her.
“Absolutely. He’s still on oxygen. We’ve lowered the level though. He’s doing much better with keeping his level elevated. There is a heart monitor on him just to keep track. We’ve seen no abnormalities or anything with his heart as of yet. He also has a feeding tube attached to him because he was having problems eating on his own,” she informs me. “You’re little guy is a fighter and has been showing us how strong he is since he was brought up to us.”
“When can I hold him?” I ask, needing to know as tears still fall.
“You and his father can come in to see him for a few minutes now if you’d like,” she answers, a soft smile on her face. “You’ll have to gown up before you get close to him though. We don’t want to take any chances.”
“I’ll do whatever I have to in order to hold my son for a minute,” I respond, meaning every word.
Tags pushes the wheelchair as we follow the nurse. Once we’re gowned up and have washed our hands to the point I feel as if mine are going to fall off, Tags pushes me further into the nursery. There is another door separating the babies from everyone else. They are doing their absolute best to protect them.
The same nurse walks in to get our son for us. All of the wires attached to his little body come with him as she carries him out to us. At the same time, a second nurse brings me over a small bottle of formula. I really wanted to breast feed him, but it was taken away from me. These fuckers need to pay.
Calming myself down, I hold out my arms for the small body of Kaysen. Once the nurse places him in my arms, I can’t stop the tears falling faster as I look at our perfect little son. He’s the most beautiful baby I’ve ever seen in my life. I don’t even care if I’m biased.
As I grab the bottle from the second nurse, Kaysen grabs hold of my finger with his tiny little hand. My heart breaks and is put back together in this moment. Tags places a hand on my shoulder and leans dow
n over us. Ever the protector. I watch on as my man place a gentle kiss on Kaysen’s head before wiping his own tears from his face. This is a bonding moment for our small family and it means the world to me.
Holding the bottle to his mouth, Kaysen opens up and begins to eat from the bottle. I look up at the nurses and see smiles covering their faces.
“He knows his mama and daddy are here. This little guy wants to show you how big and strong he is,” the nurse who came out and talked to us says. “This is one of the few times he’s eaten from a bottle.”
I hold our son until he’s done eating. Tags takes him from my arms and I watch on as the nurse, her name is Catherine, shows him how to burn Kaysen. Once he’s let us hear his burp from feeding, I gingerly stand up so I can change his little diaper. Kaysen is so small and I know any of the things we bought him already will be way too big for him. When he’s finally able to come home, I’m going to have to find a different outfit.
“I’m sorry you guys can’t spend more time here with him right now. We’re gonna put him back under the lights to make sure the jaundice doesn’t come back,” Catherine informs us. “Come up again and we’ll let you in to hold him some more.”
“Thank you, so much,” I tell her, tears once again falling from my eyes. “You don’t know what you’ve just done for me. For us.”
“We’ll take good care of your little guy,” she announces, taking Kaysen back into the nursery.
Tags wheels me from the room once we’ve disposed of the gowns we had to wear. I feel lighter than I have in so long. There is no way in hell anyone is going to keep me from my son now that I’ve held his tiny body in my arms.
“How do you feel after holding him?” I ask Tags as we roll out to meet my brothers.
“He’s such a fighter. Just like his mama,” he announces proudly, his face still full of emotion.
“And his daddy,” I assure him as we finally see my brothers.
We talk about Kaysen on the way back down to my room. While I’d love to have him down there with me, I know it’s not possible yet. Eventually we’ll have him with us daily. I can’t wait for that as I settle back in the hospital bed for a nap. I’m worn out.