‘Okay. I’ll wrap up here in the shop, take Alfie out for a walk, and I’ll see you later.’ She knew there was no point arguing when Bev was in this frame of mind.
Emma was curled on a sofa in Bev’s front room with a glass of chilled rosé to hand. It was Monday, two days after the Christmas market, and she’d just put in a full day at The Chocolate Shop single-handedly, as Holly was at school and Bev working at the doctors’. The shop’s supplies were seriously depleted too. It was looking more like Old Mother Hubbard’s than a thriving chocolate store on the run-up to Christmas so she would have to be up early tomorrow making more confectionery. She still felt pretty shattered, physically, from her long day at the market and her emotions were all over the shop.
She and Bev were working their way down a bag of crisps and had been chatting about the Christmas market and how that had gone, as well as the village Christmas light-up which was due next Thursday evening, 23 November. The local community always set up a big fir tree down on the grassy area by the harbour, with carol singers, mince pies from the local WI and glasses of warm mulled wine provided by The Fisherman's Arms. They had the big countdown to six o’clock when the local mayor would press the switch to light up the swooping strings of white lights hung both sides of Warkton’s main street and along the harbour. It was a popular event, and Emma had agreed to do a late-night opening thereafter, with lots of her festive goodies on display, and her new café ready with hot drinks to thaw everyone out. Oh yes, yet more chocolates to craft. It was going to be a whole week of early mornings and late nights, she mused.
Bev took a large sip of her wine.
‘Right then, Em. You need to tell me all about the lovely Max, and why on earth you’ve decided to drop him already.’
Emma really didn’t feel like going into all this, but she knew she wouldn’t get any peace. She just took a sip of wine, and dipped into the bag of crisps.
‘So, does Max feel the same way about this? I heard from Holly he’d been looking for you at the shop. Well?’ Bev persisted.
‘No … not really. He wants to see me again, actually.’
‘Em!’ Her friend sounded exasperated. ‘Look, I can see why you ditched Malteser Man, but this guy? Boy, if I wasn’t married myself I’d be in there like a shot. So, what is it you don’t like about him? Don’t you trust him?’
‘It’s not that.’
‘So, what’s going on? Are you still missing Luke?’
‘Of course I still miss Luke. That doesn’t just go away because it’s been a few years, or because someone else is on the scene. It’s just that I – I’m not sure about things with Max. It doesn’t feel right to go any further.’ That was about as close to the truth as she could get.
‘So, you like the guy, he likes you, and you’re saying no – because?’
‘I’m fine on my own. I know where I stand. I have my own life, the shop, you, Alfie, my mum and dad, James. Why does it always have to be about a man?’
‘It doesn’t, but if a man’s rather gorgeous and interested in you, why not just give it a try? You never know, he might even make you happy.’
‘I am happy. I’m fine.’
‘So you’re not even going to give it a chance, Em? You’re scared, aren’t you? I can see it in your eyes.’
‘I am so not.’ She tried to look fierce.
‘I’ve hit the spot, Em. You’re scared of getting hurt again. I can understand that. And, you know what, that means you really like this guy, doesn’t it?’
No answer.
‘So what are you thinking? You cut him off now, don’t take a chance, don’t risk getting hurt again?’
‘Sounds sensible.’
‘Agh!’
‘And what about Luke? Our relationship?’ Emma shot back. ‘I’m meeting up with his parents soon. What the heck will they think if I’m seeing someone else?’
‘Emma.’ Bev put a gentle hand on her friend’s shoulder. ‘Luke’s never coming back, honey.’
‘I know that. I’m not stupid.’ Her tone was sharp. She was getting fed up with this.
‘Okay, sorry.’ Bev softened. ‘But I’m sure his parents would understand. I’m sure they wouldn’t want you to live a life without a partner to love and love you back.’
There was a second or two of silence. Then Emma started quietly, ‘It just seems so very different than how it was with Luke. All those special moments we had, me and Luke, what it was like when we were falling in love. This now, it doesn’t feel the same, it’s not quite right.’
‘It’s bound to be different, Em. You’re in a different place. You’ve been through so much. And Max is a different man. It’ll take courage to make that leap of faith and try another relationship, when nothing’s set in stone, and yeah, it might go wrong, you might get hurt. But deciding to live a life without any relationship, without that kind of special love, holing yourself up here on your own for the next forty years? That’s no life at all.’
‘It’s been fine so far. I just can’t go there, Bev. I can’t do it.’ She felt safe here in her village, in the chocolate shop. Her life as it was now had a steady anchor. ‘What if anything happened to Max? What if he got ill? It makes me feel sick just thinking about it. I can’t go there again. I couldn’t put myself through it.’
‘Okay, okay, I understand. But just make sure you are certain, Em. Chances like this don’t come often. He won’t wait about, you know.’ Bev picked up the bottle of rosé. ‘Time for another glass, hun?’
The conversation moved on to lighter topics, how much Bev was enjoying working in the chocolate café. She then brought out a tray of local cheese and biscuits with a red onion chutney she’d made, which was absolutely delicious. It was creeping towards eleven o’clock when Pete came back in, having been cajoled into a couple of pints after the village meeting.
‘Right, well I’d better be going,’ Emma announced. ‘Got a few busy days ahead. I’ll see you at the shop on Wednesday, Bev.’
‘Look forward to it. You take care, Em.’
It was rather lovely having her friend as her new member of staff. Emma just hoped she’d lay off the matchmaking for now though. It had all been aired, and Emma was sticking by her decision.
42
The village had been buzzing with festive atmosphere all day. Men with a cherry picker were spotted, angled awkwardly, hanging strings of light bulbs between the lamp posts. There were shouts of ‘this way a bit’, and ‘that way a bit’, and then a huge fir tree went past on the back of a trailer heading down to the harbour-side.
Emma had made up a big tray of tea in disposable containers and taken them down for the workers at one point with a plate of her choc-chip shortbread. She left the refreshments down by the harbour wall and gave them a shout, spotting Pete up a ladder putting huge silver baubles on the Christmas tree. The tray had only a few crumbs half an hour later when she went back, so that seemed to have gone down well.
She’d agreed to go along later and watch the big village light-up that was going ahead that night. It was usually a lovely event. Every year, the ladies of the WI provided mince pies and the pub gave out mulled wine, with the local mayor arriving for the big moment to flick the switch. There was always that second of tension in case they didn’t work, and all would remain dark, but they hadn’t had a problem in all the years Emma had been here. Fingers crossed all would go well tonight.
Emma was to open up for late-night shopping thereafter. It made sense with so many people milling about, and it would be a great way to earn some extra income – the shop’s finances always staying firmly in her mind. Things had picked up since the opening of the coffee shop, but she had her parents to pay back, as well as keeping up with the rent and other outgoings – Emma knew she was by no means out of the woods yet. She didn’t want to miss the lighting-up ceremony herself, so was organised to run back up the hill and open up five minutes after the lights went on. She had added an extra strand of fairy lights to the counter, and The Chocolate Shop
was looking all festive and full again. Then, at a quarter to six she turned the sign to ‘closed’, ran upstairs to pop on a warm jumper and fetch Alfie plus his lead, wrapped herself up in scarf, hat, gloves, coat – she’d learned her lesson at the market! – and walked quickly down the hill to meet up with Bev and Pete.
There was quite a crowd gathered around the fir tree and several people milling about on the little hill that led up towards the pub; there were couples, and families with small children holding tight to their parents’ hands. A sense of eager anticipation filled the air as Emma spotted Danny from the pub wandering through the masses balancing a full tray and handing out plastic glasses of mulled wine. She headed his way, quite fancying a glass of something warm and festive. Alfie’s tail was wagging happily – he loved a crowd and an event, inevitably getting plenty of affectionate strokes – and he raised his brown nose to the air, smelling the delicious scent of mince pies, hoping a crumb or two might come his way. She thanked Danny, asking how he was as she took a glass of wine.
‘I’m great. Seem to be very popular tonight.’ He winked. ‘Think it’s my mulled wine rather than my charm, unfortunately.’ And he moved on through the crowd.
Emma then spotted Holly with Adam. ‘Hey.’
‘Hi, Em. You okay?’
‘Yes, fine, been busy at the shop. Only just got away in time.’
‘Oh, are you doing the late-night opening too?’
‘Sure am.’
‘Well, if you need a hand, I’ll happily call in afterwards.’
‘Thanks, Hols, that would be great.’
‘Busy at the hotel, Adam?’ Emma asked.
‘Yes, we’re getting lots of Christmas party bookings in now. Work dos and the like. All go.’
‘Well, good luck.’
Emma felt a hand on her shoulder. She turned to see Bev.
‘Hey you! Thought you weren’t going to make it for a while there.’
‘Yeah, me too. Had the café full until nearly six. All good, though. More money in the coffers, so I’ll not complain.’
‘Absolutely.’
‘Hi, Pete.’
Bev’s husband joined the group.
‘Great effort with the lights today,’ Emma said.
‘Well, I hope so. Time will tell.’ He looked slightly anxious.
The mayor stood up on a small wooden podium, dressed in his velvet-robe finery and heavy gold chains.
‘Welcome, everyone, welcome!’ The crowd hushed. ‘Yes, welcome to the Warkton-by-the-Sea Christmas lights. I am honoured to be the one in charge of the magic button.’
The children in the crowd looked at him in awe.
‘Thanks to the WI ladies and The Fisherman's Arms for their excellent hospitality, which I’m sure you’ve all enjoyed.’ The crowd showed their appreciation with a round of applause. ‘And we are fundraising this evening for …’ He paused, looking a little confused. ‘What is it?’ he whispered to the lady next to him.
Someone shouted out, ‘It’s for the Hospice.’
‘Oh yes, the North Northumberland Hospice, a fabulous charity. So, if you feel you’d like to contribute there are donation jars about, and there’s a raffle being drawn in the pub hereafter, for the same worthy cause. Well then, I think it must be nearly time for the official count down. So, here we go. Five. Four. Three. Two. One!’ He went to press the button and there was a second’s delay when the crowd held their collective breath, and then ping. The most glorious glow of white lights appeared, strung around the harbour walls, and all the way up the street above them. Two of the boats in the harbour had also rigged up lights and lit them at the same time. The Christmas tree was now lit with a variety of coloured globes and a twinkly white star at the top and the whole effect was stunning. The crowd clapped and cheered, and Alfie gave a woof.
It was really lovely. Emma looked around her, from the twinkly festive lights back to the people she was with: Adam, Holly, Bev, Pete, happily chatting as couples. And. for a second, she wondered what it might have been like to have had Max here with her. To have someone to share things with, someone to go back home with. But the moment passed. No point even thinking about that now. She needed to get back up the hill and get The Chocolate Shop open again sharpish, or she’d be missing custom.
‘Aw, that was lovely. But I’ve got to go. They’ll be going on home, else, and not calling in to pick up their festive chocolate goodies on their way back up the hill.’
‘We’ll be up in a mo,’ Bev said.
‘And I’ll come and give you a hand,’ confirmed Holly.
‘Thanks, folks. See you soon. Come on, Alfie.’
And with that, Emma set off up the road that was now all twinkly and pretty with white lights.
The Chocolate Shop was crazy-busy for the next hour. Thankfully, Holly was soon behind the counter with her, helping out. They could hardly keep up with the hot drinks orders: teas, coffees and a tsunami of hot chocolates. Emma’s takeaway cups had proved a godsend tonight too – she was so glad she’d thought to put in an extra order for them. The numbers of customers would never have fitted in the shop, but they were happy to take their drinks away and have them outside. The till kept dinging, and the microwave kept pinging, and they ran out of brownies within half an hour.
Lots of the festive chocolates were sold out too. She could see another week of early starts and late finishes looming. But hey, after the fear of losing her shop altogether this spring, she was not going to complain.
And then, as soon as they all piled in, they all seemed to pile back out. Bev called by and stayed a while to help clear the used mugs, cups and plates back to the kitchen, and loaded the dishwasher, and then she and Holly headed away home after the last customers had left.
Whilst Emma was wiping down the tables, she spotted something outside the window, and stopped. Oh, the flurry of customers had been replaced by a flurry of snow. There was something so special about the first snow of winter. She had to go outside to check she was right. And there, flake after flake glistening in the white lights, as though they were being shaken down like glitter from heaven. She stood feeling the soft patter of them on her face, one or two landing on her eyelashes.
She remembered the snow globe her granny had given her as a child. It must still be upstairs somewhere, she’d have to find it. It had an old-fashioned Father Christmas inside, sitting on a tiny wooden rocking chair, and when you shook the globe the glitter fell softly all around him. She used to make wishes to it as a little girl. What would she wish for now?
She knew. To see Luke one more time, to feel his arms around her. But she also knew that if she had that moment, she would never want to let go.
The street was empty, quiet now. ‘Miss you,’ she said up to the sky, the stars now hidden above the snow clouds. Whoever she met, however lovely they seemed, she knew her heart would always be Luke’s.
But, could there ever be room there for someone else too?
43
‘It’s so lovely to see you, Emma. I’m so glad you could come across.’ She was welcomed into Angela’s arms.
‘Yes, we know how busy you are,’ added John, greeting her warmly.
For a second Emma found herself sideswiped; she had forgotten quite how like his mother Luke was. As always, meeting up with them brought back so many memories, so much shared history – and grief.
After a fifty-minute journey through country lanes, she had found the old-fashioned teashop they had recommended a few miles from the Kielder Water reservoir. Holly was looking after The Chocolate Shop for her for a few hours, being a Sunday.
She sat down with them at a pine table by the window which overlooked rolling green hills, dry-stone walls, and herds of grazing sheep, the landscape so typical of rural Northumberland.
‘So, how are things, my lovely?’ Angela asked.
‘Good, thanks. I have now opened a café within the chocolate shop, so it was all go getting it ready.’ Strangely, thoughts of Max and all his help with that f
illed her mind, which made her feel extremely uncomfortable.
‘Oh, that sounds a lovely idea. Is it going well?’ Angela continued.
‘Yes, it seems to be, and with the usual run-up to Christmas it’s pretty full-on.’
‘You’ve put your heart and soul into that shop,’ commented John. ‘We always say that, don’t we, Angela?’
‘Indeed. Such a pretty village there too, I remember.’
‘Yes, it feels like home. I have some really nice friends,’ Emma confirmed. She wanted them to know that she had settled. That life was okay.
‘Good.’
They chatted politely over tea and cake, but it seemed harder than usual because Emma still felt caught up in her emotional whirl of the past few weeks.
John excused himself after finishing his tea, saying he needed to check on the dog in the car. They had an ageing golden Labrador, Barney. Luke used to be such buddies with that dog.
‘Oh, I’ll pop out and see him in a minute, John,’ exclaimed Emma. ‘Can’t miss a cuddle with Barney now, can I?’
‘Do you still have Alfie?’
‘Oh yes, he’s my best friend. He just loves running about on the beach there.’
‘I bet. I’ll catch you before you go, Emma.’ John smiled warmly.
Once the women were alone, Angela asked, ‘Have you met anyone?’ Was it a mother’s intuition, or did she just know Emma so well she could sense some change in her?
‘Ah …’
Angela placed a gentle palm over Emma’s hand where it rested on the table. ‘Emma, don’t ever feel that we wouldn’t want you to meet someone else. Please, please don’t feel that you can’t move on. We know how very much you loved Luke.’
‘I still do.’
‘I know that. Love doesn’t die, does it?’
Emma shook her head. She still didn’t know quite what to say. After all, the relationship with Max was all over now, anyway. She didn’t want to lie, though. ‘There was someone … briefly. But it hasn’t worked out.’
The Cosy Christmas Chocolate Shop Page 26