by Mary May
The pastor waved Catherine up to the front of the church. She looked so happy; her face was glowing with the joy of the Lord. The past few days had seen remarkable changes in Catherine Avila. Gone was the controlling, emotionally-frigid woman that Gideon couldn’t stand to see coming. Now she was softer, more loving and she even looked younger. The strained look in her eyes was gone, and she looked rested and at peace. She was wearing her hair down instead of pulled back into a severe bun, but Gideon thought it was her easy smile that was most attractive; it was then that she looked like Sabrina.
Catherine stood next to the pastor. She smiled and spoke. “I’m not very good at this sort of thing so forgive me for being a little nervous.” She paused for a moment, looking toward Sabrina for reassurance. Sabrina beamed at her mother and nodded her head encouragingly. “I was not a very nice person before I gave my heart to Jesus. Oh, I tried to do nice things and to act nice, but I was ugly on the inside, and that showed no matter how much I tried to believe differently.” She looked out at the crowd. “My daughter Sabrina is always so full of true love and compassion that I envied that in her. I didn’t know where she got her inner peace and strength. When Luke died so suddenly, I rushed to Sabrina’s side so I could play the heroic mother, supporting her fragile daughter while she mourned the death of her husband.” Catherine stopped to wipe away her tears. “I’m sorry to say that it wasn’t a mother’s love that motivated me; it was selfish reasons that I did it. It was for selfish reasons that I did anything! When I got here I expected to see a broken young lady that needed to be held together. But that’s not what I found at all.”
Catherine smiled at her daughter. “What I found was a strong young woman that had been dealt a tragic blow but wasn’t broken by it. She had all the support she would ever need in the Lord.” The crowd all nodded and Gideon heard “Amen” and “that’s right” from several different people. “Sabrina had a peace and a strength that was beyond anything I had ever witnessed. I remember when I lost Sabrina’s father; I didn’t have that at all. I was devastated and I handled the whole thing very badly. I wanted what Sabrina had. I would do whatever was necessary to get it.” She paused again to wipe away more tears and one of the ladies handed her a box of tissues.
“Thank you. When Sabrina told me all I had to do was accept the gift of Christ’s salvation, I was so surprised. I couldn’t believe that all the Lord required was just acceptance.” Catherine stopped and smiled her “Sabrina” smile.” Anyway, I didn’t mean to take so long. I just wanted to let you know that if the Lord could take a cold and hateful heart like mine and turn it into something worth having, then He can change anyone, and don’t think that He is all about rules and do’s and don’ts.” Catherine paused again, putting her hand over her heart.” He just wants to love you, and to have a relationship with you, to help you make it through this world, and I wish with all my heart I had done this years ago. I will do my very best to serve the Lord and to bring others to the saving knowledge of Christ, and I know that I don’t have to walk this world alone anymore. Thank you.”
Catherine stepped down from the podium while the crowd clapped enthusiastically. She had several people stop her, offering her hugs and encouraging words. She just smiled, looking for all the world like she had just been given the most precious gift.
Sabrina couldn’t be more proud of her mother as she stood up there in front of the congregation and dedicated her life to serving the Lord. Luke would have been so happy, she thought, wishing he could be here with her now. She felt a stirring in her spirit and she smiled; he was here, she thought.
Sabrina and her mother had talked more in the last three days than they ever had. She felt she finally had the relationship she had always craved from her mother. Something her mother said bothered her though. Catherine had mention how devastated she was when Sabrina’s father had died. Sabrina remembered the promise she had made her father to be there for her mother when he passed. Sabrina had not kept that promise.
When they got back to Sabrina’s house, she gave Charlotte a bottle then changed her into a comfortable “onesie” and put her down for a nap. Her mother was in the kitchen making them lunch, humming under her breath, a praise song they had sung at church that morning. Sabrina sat down at the bar and watched as her mother cut up vegetables for a salad. “Mother, I need to apologize to you.”
Catherine stopped what she was doing and just stared at her daughter. “Apologize, whatever for?” Catherine looked puzzled.
Sabrina sighed. “I made daddy a promise and I didn’t keep it.”
Her mother wiped off her hands and came around the bar to sit next to Sabrina. “Ok, but what does that have to do with apologizing to me?” She asked.
“I promised daddy I would be there for you when he died, and I wasn’t.” Sabrina looked up at her mother, tears filling her eyes.” I left you to deal with that alone. I was so wrapped up in my own grief that I didn’t even see you struggling with it. I’m so sorry, Mother.”
Catherine gathered Sabrina in her arms and held her and rocked her while she cried. “Shh, it’s okay, baby. You were just a child; that was a pretty heavy promise your daddy put on you.”
Sabrina said something but it was muffled against her mother’s shoulder. Catherine leaned back. “What?” she asked.
“I said I still promised him, and that was the last thing I promised him before he died. How could I not keep it?”
Catherine thought a moment before she spoke, praying for wisdom. “Sabrina, if you had made your father a promise to carry a thousand pounds on your back, and you couldn’t do it, would that be breaking your promise?”
Sabrina thought for a moment. “Well, at least I would have tried. I didn’t even try with you.”
Catherine smiled at Sabrina. “Your grief was the thousand pounds, Sabrina, which was more than you, could handle. You didn’t know at the time what you were promising. Adding my grief would have broken you. Your daddy meant well when he asked you to be there for me. What he should have done was made me promise to be there for you; I’m the parent.”
Sabrina sniffed and reached for a paper towel. “I guess we should have been there for each other.”
Catherine reached for the paper towels as well. “Yes, but at the time neither one of us was capable of that. I don’t blame you, Sabrina, and I ask for your forgiveness for not being the parent I should have been all these years.”
Sabrina looked at her mother and laughed. “Look at us mother, a couple of weeping willows!”
Catherine wiped her eyes and laughed. “I know! I haven’t cried so much since I was a child….it feels good actually.” Catherine hugged her daughter again then got up to finish lunch. They chatted while they ate, discussing anything and everything like two best friends, instead of like a mother and daughter who had just found each other.
Gideon stood in Charlie’s room watching the baby sleep while listening to conversation taking place in the kitchen. He was truly dumbfounded at the transformation in Catherine. He knew that something miraculous had taken place in her heart and he wondered what that felt like.
It was time for Catherine to leave; she was loading her bags into the cab. Gideon never thought in a million years, and he knew how long that actually was, that he would be sad to see Catherine Avila leave. She hugged Sabrina again and reached for Charlotte, hugging the infant close and breathing in the scent of baby to tide her over until the next visit. She looked down at the baby, “Mimi loves you so much, little one, and I will be back soon. You be a good girl for your mama!”
Sabrina laughed. “Mimi? I thought you wanted to be called Grandmother?”
Catherine smiled, “The old me did, but the new me likes Mimi!”
Sabrina hugged her again. “I love it!” The cab pulled away with a lot of waves and “I Love you’s” being thrown back and forth before it finally drove out of view.
Chapter 9
Gideon couldn’t believe that Charlie was almost a year old! Time flew
by like it had wings and that bothered him. He wanted Charlie to stay a baby for a while longer. He thought back over all the milestones she had reached in the last eleven months. He remembered her first smile; she was lying in her crib looking up at the mobile of little lambs. It was in the middle of the night and she had awakened. She seemed content to lie there, so he was making faces at her and basically making a fool out of himself, glad that his warriors couldn’t see him. She looked up at him, kicked her little feet and gave him a big toothless smile.
Gideon had taken demon punches to the chest that didn’t affect him as much as that smile. It then became his mission to make her smile as often as he could. That almost started Sabrina believing that her baby wasn’t quite right when she would see her laughing and smiling at the thin air. So Gideon had to keep their play time to when they were alone.
She had started crawling at five months and that made him a nervous wreck. She would go anywhere and had no fear. More than once he had stopped her from crawling her way into danger. Sabrina was an excellent mother, but sometimes she turned her head for just a moment and off Charlie would go, straight to whatever she didn’t need the most. Once Charlie had grabbed a lamp cord and would have pulled it onto her head if Gideon hadn’t grabbed it just in time.
When she started walking a few months later, Gideon pleaded with her to go back to crawling for a little longer. He would walk along behind to keep her from falling too hard on her bottom. He wasn’t sure what the guidelines were for Guardians with toddlers, but he suspected that he probably went too far when he stopped Charlie from falling on her bottom in front of Sabrina. The child looked like she had been stopped mid-fall and Sabrina eyed the area around her daughter with curiosity but didn’t say anything. Gideon knew he was going to have to pull back and let Charlie take a few falls for her own good, but he did it reluctantly.
Her favorite thing was to try to catch Gideon’s wings. He was visible to the child but not really a solid form unless she was in danger, so Charlie couldn’t really touch him. It didn’t keep her from trying. He would fan his wings one way then another, making her squeal with laughter. Charlie was a happy baby and wasn’t much of a crier, so when she got fussy one afternoon, it concerned him. She had finally gone to sleep late that night when Gideon noticed how flushed her little cheeks were. He fanned his wings trying to cool her down, but that didn’t seem to help. He reached into the crib to see if he could feel her forehead, and when he was actually able to touch her he became alarmed.
She must be in danger if he could touch her. Her little cheeks were burning up! Gideon paced the nursery, willing Sabrina to come check on the child. He paced, fanned and waited, paced, fanned and waited. Finally he went into Sabrina’s room and shook her bed. ”Sabrina!” he whispered, not wanting to scare her. Sabrina came awake almost immediately, looking around the room. “The baby!” he whispered again.
Sabrina came off the bed like a shot. She flung back the covers and ran down the hall into Charlie’s room. The glow of the lamb lamp revealed Charlie’s flushed cheeks and labored breathing. “Oh, sweetheart!” Sabrina lifted Charlie into her arms and pressed her cheek to Charlie’s. Charlie woke up and started crying. “Shush, little one, mama’s here.” Sabrina found the baby thermometer and took Charlie’s temperature. Gideon wasn’t sure what it said, but from the look on Sabrina’s face it wasn’t good. “Ok, she has a fever, that’s all. Babies get fevers; no need to panic.” Sabrina tried to control the fear she could feel climbing into her heart. She packed Charlie’s bag and got into the car to drive her to the ER. Gideon could hear Sabrina praying while she drove and he joined her, praying for the first time since Luke’s death.
They got to the ER and Charlie was admitted immediately. They hooked her up to IV’s to push fluids through her and gave her medication to try to control her high fever. They drew blood and Gideon had to turn away when they stuck the needle into her chubby little arm. The doctors said they would have to wait for the test results to know for sure what was causing the fever. Sabrina stayed by Charlie’s side and prayed nonstop unless one of the doctors or nurses asked her a question. Gideon did what he knew to do in this situation and paced. What seemed like hours later, the doctor entered the room and Sabrina looked up.
“Mrs. Blakely, we have the results back from the blood tests. Charlotte has a raised white blood cell count, which indicates an infection somewhere.”
Sabrina nodded. “Ok, what is the plan now?” she asked.
“Well, what we will do is treat the infection; most likely the antibiotics will take care of it. If it doesn’t, we will run more tests.” A nurse then came into the room with a syringe. The needle looked huge to Gideon and he hoped they weren’t going to stick poor Charlie with that thing. He breathed a sigh of relief when the nurse put the needle into a port on the IV that was already in her arm. The doctor spoke again. “We will give the antibiotics a few hours to work, and then we will go from there. Do you have any questions?”
Sabrina shook her head then thanked the doctor.
“Nurse, would you find Mrs. Blakely a more comfortable chair?” The doctor smiled warmly at Sabrina then left the room. The nurse had brought a recliner that would fold out into a bed.
Sabrina sat and prayed; Gideon paced and prayed. The next four hours were the longest in his entire existence. Finally he looked at Charlie and thought maybe her cheeks weren’t as flushed. He reached to touch her and his hand ghosted right through her. Oh, thank God she was out of danger! Gideon sagged against the wall in relief, sliding right down until his butt hit the cold tile floor.
Charlie was released the next day, looking for all the world like nothing had happened. Sabrina looked like how Gideon felt, done in. Gideon sat in the back seat and broke his own rule… he made silly faces and played “peek a boo” with Charlie in front of Sabrina, making her laugh at his silly antics.
Charlie was almost ten months old when she reached for Gideon for the first time. They were in her nursery and she was playing with her toys when she crawled over to the crib and pulled herself up. She then looked up at Gideon and held up her arms wanting Gideon to pick her up. Gideon felt a longing so intense that he actually reached for the child before stopping himself; he wanted to hold Charlie so badly. But unless she was in danger he would just pass right through her. He tried to explain that he couldn’t hold her.
“Charlie, I can’t hold you, sweetheart; I’m sorry…” he would run his hands through her to show her he couldn’t touch her. She just stood there and held up her arms smiling and breaking his heart.
Sabrina came into the room about that time and laughed. “Silly goose, who are you reaching for?” She swooped up Charlie and tickled her neck. “Let’s go get you into the bathtub.”
Gideon stayed in the nursery listening to the splash of the water and Charlie’s laughter as she played in the tub. He knew why there was the “No touching unless in danger rule.” It kept the children from becoming too attached to their Guardians. “Yeah, well, tell that to my heart.” Charlie was touching a place in Gideon he didn’t know existed. He wondered if he would even be fit for combat when this was over; she was making him mushy. This is why you don’t reassign angels, he thought. Guardians didn’t face combat so they could be mushy; it was probably even a job requirement. But he knew this was a temporary position for him so he needed to be careful and keep his edge. He went out to the back yard and reached for his sword. He couldn’t remember the last time he had held it in his hands. It felt unfamiliar and unwieldy. He did a few practice swings; he could feel the pull in his shoulder muscles. Oh this wasn’t good! It wasn’t just his heart that was turning into mush; the rest of him was, too. He vowed that he would spend time every night practicing his maneuvers, until he was back in fighting form. He could only imagine what his men would say if they could see their hard-as-nails commander struggling to complete the most basic of exercises…
Charlie’s first birthday was a sweet and simple affair. Catherine flew in and st
ayed a week. She had found a home church and was studying the Bible like a woman on a mission. Sabrina would grab her Bible and the two would sit in the living room after Charlie had gone to sleep, poring over the book together. They would each point out different scriptures that had helped them or touched their hearts in some way. Gideon noticed that Catherine would mention a man named Evan a lot.
“Oh, Evan showed me this, or Evan told me that.”
Finally, Sabrina picked up on it after about the twentieth time Catherine said it. “So, mom, who is this Evan you keep talking about?” Sabrina had a sparkle in her eyes and she watched her mother carefully. Catherine actually blushed. Gideon thought she was cute when she did that
“Oh, he is someone that I met at church; he teaches a Bible class for beginners. He knows so much about the Bible and he explains it in such a way I have no problem following along. It’s really wonderful!” Catherine was almost wiggling in her seat; she became so animated telling Sabrina about him.
“Is the class wonderful or is Evan wonderful?” Sabrina teased.
Catherine blushed harder, “Well, I’ve been trying to find a way to tell you without you getting upset. You see Evan wants, well, that is to say that he has asked, oh! Why is this so hard?” Catherine struggled to find the right words.
Sabrina finally put her out of her misery. Sabrina reached and took both of Catherine’s hands. “Mother, have you found someone?” Catherine looked up into her daughter’s eyes. They shone with love and happiness.
“Oh, Sabrina, he is so wonderful! He is so smart and funny and he thinks I’m smart and funny which proves he is crazy. He has asked me to marry him and I’ve accepted.” Catherine watched to see what Sabrina’s reaction might be. Sabrina was so close to her father would she think that Catherine was trying to replace him? Would she resent Evan?