His feeling of dread intensified when he inhaled the smell of fire with each breath of air. That is when Namesh looked up and saw the smoke billowing in the distance. Namesh quickened his pace, running faster and faster with the smoke in the sky serving as his only signal of the distance between them. That focal point drew him in and he burst through the last grouping of vetiver grass. He looked around for his beloved Satvi and, in an instant, his heart stopped as he fell to his knees.
He was too late.
Shah Balraj stood by the burning funeral pyre with his head held high and his eyes as dark as night. The guards grabbed Namesh and brought him toward the burning pyre. In shock, Namesh could only stare at the bodies as their skin darkened and peeled with each flick of the flames. Bile rose to his throat as he watched the smoke caress their bodies, weaving in and out of the curves of bone that were now visible. Namesh still held onto an infinitesimal amount of hope that there was a mistake and that his Satvi had not truly been sacrificed.
At that moment, Shah Balraj spoke, “Do you notice how the setting sun casts bright rays of red and orange across the land? It’s almost as though the gods themselves are reaching out to us, accepting our offerings.” He turned his head to look at Namesh’s dirty, tear-stained face and his expression hardened. Namesh had never seen this look of hatred on the Shah’s face before and he questioned who this man was standing before him, and how he could have sacrificed a woman that had the choice to live, even if it was as an outcast to their society.
“Satis are usually performed for women that are deserving of such a title. Respectable women that served their husbands and were worthy of the honor of sacrificial celebration. For Satvi, I made an exception. I had wondered why a princess would be so attached to a mere servant who steered her carriage on the rare occasion she ventured from the palace. Why would a respectable woman who is betrothed insist on bringing this particular servant with her. Do not mistake me, I made good use of you by giving you the most daunting and strenuous tasks, but I quickly ascertained the extent of your relationship with the princess and that is a deed that will not go unpunished. Satvi has paid with her life. When my son returned from war with his soul torn from his body and no heir growing in her soiled and infertile womb, I realized that the simplest way to seek vengeance for her traitorous ways was to make her suffer as my son suffered. She was not given a choice. I do not mind if her foul reputation is hidden from our subjects. Let them celebrate her sacrifice as is deserving to Satis, but I will take pleasure in knowing she has died today and you will be left with the guilt of her death. I hope the weight of it rests on your shoulders for the rest of your life.”
With that, the guards dropped him in front of the fiery pedestal, and escorted the King in the direction of the palace. Namesh felt his soul tear apart as if the vetiver ropes he and Satvi had banded together were crumbling in the heat of the fire. He envisioned the parts of his soul diving into the flames bit by bit to merge with the soul of his Satvi, only to be made into ash by the intense flame. She had been burned alive because of him.
Now, there was only one thing left he could do.
***
Namesh burst through the doors of the familiar house he once spent many childhood nights in. Seeing his old friend Usha brought back bittersweet memories of his youth. He dropped to his knees at her feet and lowered his head.
“I’m sure you’ve heard.” The words came out strangled in his throat.
“Yes, I’ve heard the news.”
“Then you know why I am here. I must ask the unimaginable of you, my old friend,” he whispered, tears beginning to prick his eyes.
“Namesh, I don’t think I can help you,” Usha lied.
“Please Usha! I’ve never asked you for anything. I’ve kept your secrets. You know I am aware of how dark your powers have become, and never once have I breathed a word of it to anyone. Usha, I beg of you... bring her back. For me.”
The utter hopelessness and despair in his voice was heartbreaking. No matter how much she tried to deny her feelings, Usha loved him – loved him beyond reason. It bordered on obsession, but she refused to use her magic to make him love her back. She wished he wanted her of his own free will, the way she desperately wanted him.
But, should she help him? Grant him such a request? Would she use her supernatural gifts (gifts he swore he kept secret) to bring back the woman she despised so viciously for holding the heart of the one man she desired? What did Satvi have that she didn’t? Why couldn’t he learn to love her the way he loved Satvi? Questions and emotions swirled feverishly in Usha’s mind as she watched Namesh breaking into pieces before her.
“Alright Namesh, I’ll do it,” she finally responded.
Usha’s dark, wavy hair hung loosely down to her waist and swayed elegantly as she paced silently around the packed dirt floor of the small one-room home she and her mother once shared. Namesh once felt at home here too, he thought, but now this house served as a discreet place where Usha could meet and conduct certain “business.” She stopped abruptly and turned to face him. The penetrating gaze of her dark eyes freezing him in place.
“Listen well, Namesh. You must bring me an item that belonged to her. A piece of clothing, a necklace, or hair pin. Something that was dear to her; something she wore on her body,” Usha explained. “And you must do it soon. The more time that passes, the harder it will be to bring her back, understand?”
“Yes, I can bring you such an item. I’ll bring it to you tonight,” Namesh paused, uncertain how to thank her. He knew Usha’s feelings for him transcended friendship. He and Usha had grown up in the same village, playing as children. When Namesh was nine years old, a terrible sickness swept through the village, claiming both his mother and father. Completely alone and left to beg on the streets for food, Namesh was on the brink of starvation when Usha and her mother recognized him as the small boy from the village, and took him in. They bathed and fed him and promised him a meal everyday in exchange for help with the animals, chopping firewood, and harvesting. Namesh happily agreed, and spent much of his youth with Usha, whom he learned to love as a sister.
When she started showing deeper feelings for him than merely those of friendship, Namesh began to pull away. But it seemed the more he distanced himself, the stronger her love and obsession for him grew. Their friendship became strained, and Usha began delving deeper into the practices of the daayani. Namesh gave up hope of ever fully recovering their childhood friendship. But he prayed their past ties would make her willing to help him now.
He never told anyone just how powerful Usha had become – she no longer practiced only good magic, helping and healing the people of the village the way her mother and grandmother had done. Usha had begun dealing with powers and forces darker than Namesh could ever believe possible. Corrupt emperors and nobles now sought her aid in political affairs. Sometimes, Namesh would hear of instances where people would conveniently drop dead at the most opportune times. He knew it was Usha’s doing, but he kept her secret. He knew what would happen if he ever exposed her for what she really was. Black magic earned you a fate worse than death.
“Usha, I am eternally grateful to you. I would not ask such a thing if I wasn’t so completely desperate. I mean to say…” Namesh tried to find the words to thank Usha for this ultimate service and sacrifice.
“Oh, don’t thank me just yet Namesh,” she sneered. “You will have to give something of yourself too, in order to bring your beloved Satvi back to life.”
Namesh couldn’t help noticing the acid leaking into her tone as she said Satvi’s name. He tried futilely to suppress a shudder. For the first time, he fully appreciated just how powerful and frightening Usha was. Behind her beautiful face, he saw evil lurking. Namesh suddenly second-guessed whether Usha would actually bring Satvi back as she promised, but he was in a state of desperation that bordered on madness. He would do anything to have Satvi back in his arms again. The thought of his beloved Satvi brought back the horrific images of
seeing her body engulfed in flames. Sickened, Namesh sank once more to his knees at Usha’s feet.
“I’ll give you anything you need… anything.”
“Stand up, Namesh. Just bring me the items I need and be back here by sundown. I’ll take care of the rest.” Usha said, barely looking at him.
Namesh quickly got to his feet and bowed to Usha. He grabbed her hand and planted a quick, feather-light kiss upon it. “I am forever indebted to you. Thank you.” He heard Usha’s quick intake of breath and saw the sparkling of tears in her eyes as she quickly pulled her hand away.
“Yes, Namesh. Forever…” she trailed off.
***
Namesh made his way back to the palace’s servant quarters looking for Hasanti. He didn’t own anything belonging to Satvi, although he always wished he could carry something of hers, but it was too risky. If he were ever caught with anything belonging to the princess, he’d lose both hands. Satvi always made sure that not even a bead from one her gowns was left behind for fear of what could happen.
He found Hasanti in the courtyard sitting under the shade of a date palm, dressed all in white, which was typical during mourning. Grief-stricken at the loss of her beloved princess, she looked hopeless and empty. She could never feel as empty as he felt, Namesh thought. But he had hope now in Usha’s abilities and refused to accept that Satvi was lost to him forever.
“Hasanti,” Namesh whispered. He was partially concealed by the large wall enclosing the servant quarters. Hasanti looked around, alarmed at hearing her name. Seeing Namesh, she stood up too quickly, then sat back down dizzily. Namesh crossed the courtyard toward her, cautiously looking around, praying he would not be spotted.
“Hello, Hasanti. I need a favor. Is there a place where we can talk privately?”
***
Usha walked slowly toward the river where only twenty four hours ago young Satvi and Prince Almir were burned on their funeral pyre. She contemplated the seriousness of what she was about to do. Evoking the kind of power needed to bring back the dead was dangerous… and costly. The gods would demand a sacrifice to be sure. Usha never knew what they would demand of her until the deed was done. However, a plan was formulating in her mind… a spell her mother once told her about – warned her never, ever to use. It was a simple spell, really, and would be all too simple for a dayaani as powerful as she was. But it was beyond evil, and Usha had never planned on being evil to Namesh. She never wanted to hurt him; never wanted to make him suffer. Until now.
Usha had been hopeful when she heard the news of Satvi’s death - hopeful that with her gone and out of the way, Namesh would in time realize his true feelings. She hoped that without the distraction of Princess Satvi, she could finally have Namesh to herself and show him just how perfect they would be for one another. What Usha did not expect, was Namesh to come walking through her door, asking to resurrect Satvi. Why could he not return her love? Even now, with no one standing in the way, Namesh refused to let Satvi go and learn to love her instead.
When they were younger, she did everything to make Namesh notice her. Then, when Namesh began working as a servant in the palace, Usha would secretly watch him and noticed the way he admired the young princess and she grew to envy Satvi. Not because she was royal and beautiful - Usha had been blessed with an unmatched beauty, allowing her to get almost anything she wanted - but because she held Namesh’s heart, and no matter how many times Usha tried to sabotage Namesh’s position as a palace servant, Satvi would always come to the rescue, convincing her father to keep Namesh.
Now, she wanted the two of them to suffer as she has suffered. They would see what it was like to never fully have the one you love. Yes, she would do the unthinkable. She would use the spell – the spell all the other dayaani women warned her never to cast. Usha reached the river bank and began searching the remains of the funeral pyre. She only needed to find a piece of Satvi’s hair, or even a charred finger (as long as the fingernail was still intact). She dug through the charred remains, casting large wooden planks aside as she searched for the pieces of Satvi that would bring her back to life.
Usha knew that Yama, the god of death, would want his justice for her evil deeds; he would demand something of her – most likely her soul. She had to find a way to change her fate, and as she sifted through the blackened pieces of charred flesh, an idea flew into her mind. Usha knew Yama would never allow her soul to come back in another life, therefore she would be destined to go to the place of eternal suffering, where all the evil dayaani went. But what if she could live forever? If Usha could contrive a way to become immortal, she could then avoid her awful fate. That’s when it dawned on her: Namesh and Satvi would become her ticket to immortality. She would bring Satvi back just as she promised, but she would conveniently neglect to tell Namesh about the rest of her plan… no, she would let him figure that part out for himself, and take great pleasure in watching it all unfold. For she had lost her heart to Namesh and now she would make him lose his heart, his love, a thousand times over.
***
“Namesh, you shouldn’t be here! You know you’re banned from this palace. Gods help us if the guards find you here. It will mean both our deaths!” Hasanti scolded.
“I won’t stay long. I need your help with something, please.” Hasanti gestured for Namesh to follow her. She gathered her skirt in one hand and quickly led him toward a secluded part of the servant quarters located behind the opulent white marble palace. The servant quarters were not nearly as resplendent, nor did they boast the ornate carvings that decorated the palace, but it was far more beautiful to live as a servant in a palace than living anywhere else.
“We shouldn’t be overheard here,” she told Namesh. “Now, what is it you need?” Her eyes suddenly pricked with tears as she gazed upon Namesh’s face. She could see the anguish in his eyes. The lines on his face had deepened over the past year since Satvi’s marriage to Prince Almir. But now he looked haggard and nearly at death’s doorstep himself since Satvi’s funeral. Namesh was heartbroken when Satvi was forced to marry, but it was nothing compared to losing her from the physical world. He watched her burn… Namesh would never say what he saw, but Hasanti still pictured what Namesh must have witnessed: the flames licking their way up her legs, quickly engulfing her; silencing her screams. Hasanti shuddered at the images now flooding her mind. She couldn’t stop them from coming, and now she couldn’t stop the tears from spilling over.
Namesh gathered her into his arms and hugged her fiercely as he wept too. After several minutes had passed, she felt his hand smooth over her hair.
“Hasanti, it’s going to be alright. Believe me. I’m going to make everything alright again.”
Hasanti pulled back to see Namesh’s face. There was a crazed look in his eyes. He attempted a smile, but it was more of a grimace. His heart wouldn’t allow for a smile, Hasanti thought.
“I am sorry Namesh. I didn’t mean to cry here with you. What is it you need me to do?”
“I need you to bring me an item belonging to Satvi, like a sari or a slipper. Maybe even an earring or hair pin. I need something that belonged to her.” Namesh appeared as if he was going to say more, but stopped himself. Hasanti wondered what he was keeping from her.
“I would really like to have something to remember her by, so I can feel like she is still with me,” he explained.
Hasanti couldn’t gauge his demeanor properly. Her instincts warned her that he was hiding something, but she hated to mistrust Namesh. At this moment, he was crazy with grief, that was all... “I will bring you a pair of her earrings. I was able to secret away a few of her belongings before Shah Balraj had everything confiscated.”
“Thank you Hasanti. I will repay you for your service to me someday. You have been a faithful and trustworthy friend,” Namesh said, his voice catching on his last words.
“Where shall I find you again, to deliver the earrings?” Hasanti asked.
“I will attempt to return in the early evening hours
, if you can manage by then?”
“Of course. I will meet you here before dusk. Take great care, Namesh. The guards have doubled their vigilance since… since the funeral,” Hasanti explained, her eyes brimming with tears once more.
“Tell me, what will become of you now, dear Hasanti? Has the Shah allowed you to continue serving in his son’s palace?”
“Heavens no! But I was fortunate to be spared. Usually the princess’ personal servants are also condemned to die along with their mistress, but being that I was considered valuable to Satvi’s family, Shah Rajandir requested I be unharmed, therefore I am scheduled to be moved back to the palace once again. I am happy to be going home. Satvi’s youngest sister is now coming of age and in need of a lady’s maid. I shall gladly fill the role, and hope to make Satvi proud by assisting her sister.”
“I am certain you shall. You are one of the best people I know, Hasanti. You’ve always shown me kindness, despite my caste. Thank you again for what you are doing for me. I will be here at dusk.” And with that, Namesh quickly retreated into the shadows; his lithe muscles making every move appear effortless.
Hasanti couldn’t shake the nagging feeling that something was wrong, but she pushed it aside, making excuses for the grief-stricken Namesh. She moved rapidly to her personal quarters, trying desperately to avoid suspicion from any of the roaming guards. Once safely inside, she grabbed a remnant of silk she had stashed away, and carefully retrieved the earrings she was hiding in the clay ewer near her sleeping mat. Hasanti wrapped the beautiful gold and ruby teardrop earrings safely in the silk and secured the tiny package in the bosom of her sari.
***
Usha sat motionless, awaiting Namesh’s return. She had all her ingredients ready. Her spell had been recited over and over in her mind, until she had perfected each component of the complicated magic she was about to perform. Nothing was left for Usha to do now but wait. Part of her hoped that Namesh would not show, that he would have changed his mind about wanting to bring Satvi back from the dead; that he had a change of heart and was considering the possibility of loving Usha. But she knew it was too much ask. She knew how devoted Namesh was in his fierce love for Satvi. Thinking of their passion for one another fueled her desire even more to cause the couple pain and suffering.
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