When the sniffling stopped, Jill let go of Emily as she turned to Mike, whispering “I’m sorry for pushing you over.”
“No, it’s fine. I think she needed it,” he replied.
“Thank you Mrs. Matthews,” Emily said in a tender broken voice.
“You’re welcome sweetie, any time. If you’re ready, I know of two girls inside those doors who are eager to see you.”
She watched as Emily went to Mike, wrapping her arms around his waist. He leaned over and placed a kiss on her head and whispered in her ear. She nodded in agreement and walked for the door.
Jill waited until Emily passed the threshold before she bid Mike good bye, she wasn’t ready for what he did next. He caught her arm and brought her to him, leaning in and wrapping his arms around her in one of his warm and all-consuming hugs. Even before they were a couple, they were the best of friends and he would hug her like this. It was always comforting. “Thank you, Jill. Thank you.” He picked her up off the ground, continuing with his thanks, and swung her around. She wasn’t sure if it was being this close to him, inhaling his woodsy scent or his rapid movements that made her head spin.
She felt a giggle catch in her throat, overshadowing the sadness. His thanks were jovial. “I’m not sure what I did, but you’re welcome. Can you put me down now?”
“Oh, right. Sorry,” he put her back on her feet and took a step back while holding her hands in his. “I didn’t mean to get so carried away. I know that was pretty forward.”
“It isn’t that. You were just making me dizzy. What are you thanking me for, anyway?”
“That was the first time I have seen her respond, emotionally or otherwise, to anything or anyone. It has been torture trying to get her to open up.” Concern for the girl reflected in his eyes.
“It might be because we know each other so well. Katie and I have been really praying for you two.”
Her hand still in his, he squeezed her hand a little tighter and his joy drained to sorrow. “Jill, you don’t know how nice it is to hear that. I’m not sure how I am going to do this parenting thing with the kind of schedule they have me on. The chief is a real…well, never mind about him. Anyway, I am glad for the prayers. I have a feeling we’ll be needing them.”
As she listened to him, her heart broke for them. An idea came to mind and she hoped he would accept. “Listen, we are about to start rehearsing for spring recitals. If Emily would like to continue, we’d love to see her at classes. She might just need something normal in her life.” He looked like he was about to turn her down so she had to think fast. She knew this would work; he just needed to get on board. “I’ll pick her up if I have to. Just give it a try.”
She waited as he pondered her suggestion as she prayed he would accept.
“What days?”
“Fridays. I have all the classes the girls are part of on the same night. It makes for a long night for them, but when you dance with friends, time just flies. The parents like to use it as a date night and walk down to the pub or the pizza place a few doors down.”
“Well, I won’t need you to pick her up then. At least not often. My rotation has me off most Friday nights.”
“Great. So I will see you next Friday. Five o’clock.” She pulled her hand from his and placed it on his arm. “You just watch and see. She’ll get there.”
Backing up she gave him what she hoped was a reassuring smile. “Be patient with her, and yourself, Mike. This process takes time.” Opening her purse, she reached in and took out her business card and she handed it to him. “Call me if you need anything; picking her up from school, taking her to dance, or just to talk. Single parenthood isn’t easy.”
He nodded and smiled. “I’ll do that. I’ll see you soon.” He took the card, brushing her fingers with his own. A tingling sensation skittered up her arm.
They said their good-byes and went to their vehicles. His sad eyes glistened with longing burned into her mind. Mike needed a friend and she would do her best to be that friend. Unless her heart ran away with her, which by judging her current reactions to him being near, it wouldn’t take much. She couldn’t resist him before and she hoped that now that she was older and wiser, she wouldn’t be tempted to go down that road again. Jill had no problem being his friend, but it had to stay that way. The pain of loving someone was too much.
Chapter 2
Mike had thought about Jill off and on over the last few weeks, mostly in the lonely and confusing hours between court dates, handling his brother’s estate, and moving Emily to his house. He believed that God sent people into your life at certain times for a reason. When they met again at Christmas, he thought it was for one reason, now he wondered if it was for another. Jill’s offer to help whenever he needed it was a weight that was lifted from his shoulders. Having someone in his corner, helping him with this new life, was an answer to prayer. He needed guidance where Emily was concerned and Jill was God’s answer. In his state, there was no way he was thinking straight.
The death of his big brother was a blow he never anticipated. They were supposed to grow old together like siblings do; share in life experiences, take sons fishing together, babysit each other’s kids - that kind of thing. Not this. No man was supposed to bury both his parents and his only sibling within a five-year span. That just wasn’t how things should happen, right?
At the funeral luncheon, a lawyer walked up to him and handed a card telling him he needed him to report to his office first thing the next morning. That was when the lawyer told him that he was the executor of their estate and the named guardian of their daughter, Emily. What was he going to do with a child, especially a nine-year-old girl? He was a doctor, a busy one at that. There was little time for a family of his own. Someday, maybe. But did he have to lose his brother for it to happen?
He went to Pastor Cross right away needing a bit of logical and spiritual guidance. He told Mike to pray, often. “Pray for Emily, pray for yourself, and pray for plenty of wisdom,” he instructed. None of the training he had ever received in grief counseling could prepare him for living with a grief stricken little girl while he was broken at the same time. He never felt so helpless in his life.
As he walked back to his car, tightness in his lungs from watching Jill comfort Emily still held on. She had done for Emily what he had been struggling to do. It concerned him that Emily had shown little emotion since the accident. No anger, no tears, nothing. He was a bit jealous that it was in Jill’s arms that Emily’s wall came down as he wanted to be that anchor for his niece. But it wasn’t about what he wanted. Emily needed to feel safe when her walls came down. He wondered if maybe they weren’t as close as he thought. Maybe Jill could help me be what Em needs.
Before pulling out of the parking lot, he looked at his phone to see if the hospital had called. He had come off an eighteen-hour shift in the emergency room an hour before he had to have Emily to school. He wanted to be the one to take her to school on this first day. She needed to know he was there for her, even if Mrs. Anderson was the one to tuck her in at night for the last four days. He went home to fresh meals as the woman made sure he ate. If he put on any weight he wouldn’t know right now because he was in his scrubs or gym shorts most of the time. Mrs. Anderson had been a godsend. Thank God for sweet old church ladies.
Getting the private practice up and running was now crucial. Emily needed stability, not what he was doing now.
Half way home, his phone rang. He dreaded looking at it because it could be the hospital calling about any number of things. He needed sleep. It rang five times while he fought with whether to answer or ignore it. Doing what he knew was right, he looked at the screen where Emily’s grandparents’ number was flashing in bright green. Shoot! He wasn’t looking forward to this call either.
The Thomas’ had not been happy with their daughter and son-in-law’s choice in making him legal guardian of the young girl. The last phone conversation had not been good. The woman was prone to screaming at him in shrill tones.
Not one to be rude, no matter how appealing it was, he pushed send.
“Hello?”
“Michael Emerson, have you come to a decision?” her screeching tone grated on his already thin nerves.
“What decision is that, Mrs. Thomas?” He knew, but getting her riled up was a habit that was hard to kick. It was his brother’s favorite pass time as well. They had tag-teamed during the holidays to see how uptight they could get the woman with crass jokes, poor table manners, and flat out ignoring her demands. They knew better but had too much fun. Later, Rebecca would read them both the riot act for being cruel but laughed at the end when Mike mentioned how red the woman’s face had gotten. The memory caught in his throat.
“You know good and well what I am talking about, young man. Don’t mess with me; I do have a lawyer waiting with papers to give to you if you don’t give her to us willingly. It’s up to you.”
His blood boiled now. The woman was lucky they were on the phone. “Mrs. Thomas, I think you would have custody of Emily if they wanted you to have it.”
“Well it’s just not right for a single man to be caring for a young girl. Why, you don’t even have a girlfriend. You’re married to your job and have no time for a relationship, let alone a little girl who needs love and attention. You know, I think I’ll send those papers anyway. It’s just not right.”
Before he could say a word, the line went quiet.
The old bat had a point. He didn’t know what he would do. My girl will not spend a minute in that woman’s care if I have anything to say about it.
His girl, well that’s a first. He had never thought of Emily as his girl. He was the cool uncle, she told him once a few years back. He was the pretend pony or the frog prince. He played tea party with four-year-old Emily and he colored with her at the kitchen table at age eight. He enjoyed being her uncle over the last nine years. They were buddies but he was never alone with her because he wasn’t completely confidant around babies and young children. He knew how to be a doctor and the doting uncle, he wasn't’ so sure about parent figure.
Mike wondered what Jill would say to his predicament. Would she tell him to think of what is best for Emily? He didn’t even know what that was at this point? Why did he even care what she would say? “Because she always thought sensibly and I need that right now,” he quietly stated to himself.
Driving down the long and quiet country road, a tiny house surrounded by empty fields came into view. He had driven by this house so many times that he eventually didn’t even notice it. Today was different as a familiar truck came into view sitting in the driveway.
Jill’s bright red old Ford truck stuck out like a sore thumb in the middle of the empty fields. The house couldn’t have been more than nine hundred square feet. A tiny tool shed and a lean-to that looked like it was about to cave in made the house look a little bigger. A clothesline was in the side yard with a swing set not far from it. In the front yard sat an old-fashioned hand pump that looked to be in working order. He hoped that as not her only source of water. He had seen a few cabins like that, but not a home within five minutes from town.
Another quarter mile up the road, a turn around the bend and a sharp left brought him to his driveway. He sat in his car surveying his home and property. Now that he knew how closely Jill and Katie lived, he can make out the outline of her house through the barren trees. Once spring came, the trees would fill out and the crops would be high and the scene would change. The trees surrounding the property offered great shade and coverage. They acted as a shield from the outside world. A great place to raise a little girl.
He truly was blessed, no matter the hurdles in the path. His home was paid for and he had all he could ever want or need, except for a woman to share it with and a family to fill the halls of his southern plantation-style home. He started building it two years ago, but rarely spent time there. Now that he had Emily, he would do his best to make this a comfortable and safe place for her. Unless her grandmother had her way. Lord, I don’t know how to do this.
Tired and sore from a busy night, he tipped his head back. He knew he should go in the house but his muscles rebelled his efforts to sit up.
Just a quick nap, then……
Her strawberry blond hair was blowing around him in the warm summer breeze; her captivating green eyes were beckoning him for one more kiss good-bye. Her soft arms hung around his neck while her slender fingers combed through the back of his hair. With her standing on the step leading up to the gazebo and he on the ground, they met eye to eye. They held each other so tight that there was no indication where one ended and the other began. They held on for dear life. Their meeting place was on the backside of the small country park and was their sanctuary.
He needed to put distance between them as his ability to not do something dishonorable was wearing thin. But this was good-bye and the thought of not having her in his arms was more than he could bear. He squeezed his arm tighter around her slender waist in hopes that he could pull her closer than she already was. He knew this was a dangerous place to be but everything about their relationship was a risk. She was worth it.
“I wish I could go with you. I don’t think I can handle walking through the halls and not see you. You’ll be so far away.” A lone tear ran down her cheek. Without thinking, he brushed it away. Seeing her cry would push him over the edge and he wasn’t sure he was strong enough to resist.
“I am only a little over an hour away. I’ll be home once in a while on the weekends. This isn’t good-bye forever, honey, just for a while.”
She laid her head on his shoulder, soaking his U of M t-shirt with her sorrowful tears.
“I think dad knows.” Her news made every raging emotion stop cold in its tracks.
Her dad hated him. Not because he had done anything wrong, but because of the age difference. She was ending her freshman year of high school and he was headed for college. His youth pastor told him to leave it be until she was older but their friendship that started when she joined the youth group two years before had turned into something more.
“How does he know? What gave him the idea?”
“My nosy sister. That brat heard us on the phone the other night.” Malice reverberated in her tone. He had a feeling his little spitfire of a girlfriend had given her sister, Julie, a lashing.
“When we made plans to meet?” A hint of fear prickled his skin. Her dad was a military man turned maximum security prison guard. He knew how to do things to hurt a guy and make the pieces disappear if he wanted them to. At least that was what he had heard threatened.
A blaring horn startled them and they turned their heads to see the direction the sound was coming from. Headlights of her dad’s F150 were barreling toward them.
There was no way her dad would let her see him now, even in another year or two. Her dad had once been like a second father to him. He recalled one conversation that they had where he stated that he could never give a dishonest man a second chance. Mike and Jill were being dishonest with their parents by sneaking around to see each other. Their friends helped whenever they could by covering for them if one of the parents called. The library was Jill’s go-to cover while his was “hanging with the guys”.
He looked back at the beautiful girl he still held in his arms. This really was it. There was only one thing left to do.
Putting his hands on both sides of her face to get her to look at him, he started to say something. The horn blared again as the truck came to a screeching halt.
“Michael Emerson! You get your filthy hands off my daughter!” Expletives followed, but he blocked them out. Mike had noticed that when the man was mad, the words of his past came rushing out.
“Jill, I love you and if I had it my way, I would marry you some day. I hope that I still might get that chance.” He lowered his lips towards hers and they meet in beautiful harmony like they always did. The pounding of boots on the gravel could be heard over the pounding of his heart. The man was about t
o hit him; he could feel it coming.
In a flash of a second, more expletives flew from the man as a gasp came from Jill and she turned quickly, putting a hand out to stop her dad.
“Daddy! No! I’ll go.”
The man’s fist was poised in the air, ready to strike. Mike could see the anger flashing in his eyes as they flicked from Jill to Mike.
He prayed that her dad would not hit her the way she told Mike he used too. “Before Jesus,” she would say.
“Sir?” Mike stepped between the father and daughter. “Beat on me if you must, but please leave her out of it.”
Awareness flashed in the man’s eyes and with furry dissipating her dad lowered his arm. He pointed his finger in Mike’s face. “You ever come near her again,” the man’s voice cracked with emotion, “and I mean ever, I’ll do much more than hit you. You were once like a son to me, but now you are nothing,” he declared with a swipe of his hand. He had been a mentor to the young men in the church and had spent a lot of time with Mike. He respected the man, but not enough to stay away from his daughter.
Jill’s sharp intake of breath echoed through the warm summer breeze. They both knew there would be no ‘when we’re older’. The man couldn’t have physically hit him any harder. There would be no second chance.
“Get in the truck Jillian Marie!” Her dad turned and stormed off.
She came around him and placed her hand on his face, her eyes red with tears, “I love you.”
“NOW!” her dad barked loud enough to make her jump. She turned and walked away, looking back every few steps. She climbed into the truck and had barely shut the door when her dad peeled off, shooting gravel into the air.
His heart felt like it had been hooked to the hitch of her dad’s truck and been ripped from his chest the further they drove away. He was unsure which stung more, the loss of a mentor or the loss of the girl he loved more than his own life. He wasn’t sure how he would handle not talking to Jill again. She had become everything to him. Tonight wasn’t supposed to be good-bye but stepping foot on her parents’ front porch again would get him in a world of hurt.
Dance and Be Glad Page 3