"Just how long have you been sitting there?"
"Long enough to remember what it was that changed how I felt about you when we were just kids." His expression was mildly predatory. It was a look she used to enjoy. "Do you know how beautiful you are?"
An idea formed and she took a page from his playbook but in typical fashion, the doors swung open and people started to file in. Not wanting to lose an opportunity to talk to him before he left tonight, she pulled him close. “Meet me backstage right after the show. I have to hurry back there and get the littles ready, but we need to talk.”
She turned and walked away without giving him a chance to respond. When she looked back at him though, she could see that he didn’t mind.
The kids danced beautifully and despite the glitches in each performance or the drama going on behind the curtain with a little one too terrified to go on stage, the recital was a success. But there was one more dance group to go on stage. Jill braced herself to explain the next performance with the possibility of losing it completely.
Taking the microphone, Jill took a deep breath and said a little prayer.
“Good evening. I want to thank you all for coming tonight to see all the hard work your children put into this night.
“We have one more performance that is not in the program. This is a special one that has been choreographed primarily by the young ladies in the middle grade ballet group. As many of you know this past Christmas, one of our students tragically lost both of her parents in a car accident. We were not sure if she would be back for the spring season, but her amazing uncle and guardian saw fit to make sure she continued to come. I can tell you it was a healing experience for her, for the little girls in her group, and for me. Her mother and I had become very close and I'm sure you will notice," Jill's throat began to constrict. "That our dear Rebecca is not with us this year. She was a great help to me as a stage mom and there were many times that she helped me keep a cool head.
"I had a completely different song picked out for our little girls to dance to for this recital, but Emily came up to me about a month into rehearsals and asked for something different. I brought it up to the other dancers and they were willing to make the sacrifice to work extra hard to make sure that this dance happened. There were many rehearsals that we all had a difficult time doing the steps but alas they prevailed. It has been difficult keeping this quiet per young Emily's request, but I think we did a pretty good job." Jill looked at the girls who were standing in the wings waiting to take stage, "Are you ladies ready?" All 12 girls nodded their heads as tears began to well up in each child's eyes. Jill fought to retain control, so she quickly introduced the song. "Ladies and gentlemen, ‘I Hope You Dance’."
The performance was flawless from the first chord to the last. Typically, Jill would only choreograph a quarter of a song, but these girls insisted on doing the full song. They must have practiced at home as well as in the studio because the girls moved effortlessly across the stage in their flowing white costumes with their sides pulled back and everyone's hair hanging perfectly in ringlets down there back. When Emily’s solo came halfway through the song, Jill lost all control when she saw tears streaming down the girl’s face as she looked heavenward mouthing the words to the song as she danced.
When the song ended, there was no clapping, there were no cheers in a job well done, but plenty of sniffles were heard in the silence of the room. A thunder of footsteps came from the crowd and up the steps to the stage. Before Jill could respond, she saw Mike run across the stage and take Emily in his arms, spinning her around and praising her accomplishment. When he turned in Jill's direction he mouthed a thank you to her. There was no way she was in the right frame of mind at that moment to go out and hug him, but his outstretched arm, beckoning her spoke louder than her good sense.
As the cheers of the audience resonated through the auditorium, Jill walked into his arms and was quickly surrounded in a group hug by the rest of the girls, all of whom were not much shorter than Jill.
Mike put Emily down and took Jill in his arms, his frame encompassing hers. He bent near her ear, "You have no idea how much joy you have brought to me. Seeing her dance to her mother's favorite song was more therapeutic than you'll ever know."
Before she could respond, and in front of the entire assembly, Mike captured her face in his hands and kissed her. It wasn't a long passionate one, Mike still had some decency, but it was enough to awaken all of her senses and solidify her decision to no longer be a wallflower. He didn't know that after the recital she was going to ask him for another try at a date; a real date where they both dress up and go to a romantic restaurant and talked about their dreams for their futures.
She couldn't say that she would only see the silver lining from this point on, but she would do her best to find the joy in life and dance with a full heart.
Epilogue
The summer had been eventful and maybe one of the most enjoyable Jill had experienced in a very long time.
The Friday after the recital, Mike had finally taken her out and it proved to be very enlightening for the two of them. It started out like the last attempt at a night out without children. Mike was pressed, dressed, and looking rather dashing and Jill had pulled out her black dress and bright green heels. The restaurant was nice. It was the Italian place they had intended to go to before, but they found the entire experience to be a little dull.
"I guess this is what we get for having five months of fast paced busyness," Mike remarked. Jill couldn't agree more.
Their time at the restaurant was short and they decided to have a bonfire at Mike's place. He drove her home so she could change into something more comfortable and then took her back to his house. Again their babysitter had been Tiffany, who was rather miffed that they had cut their date short. Jill just explained to her that the two of them were old enough friends that it was more awkward to go out to eat and put on airs of who they were, then it would be to enjoy a night at home around a campfire.
Jill, Mike, and the girls enjoyed their time together roasting marshmallows that night more than the one hour they spent in the restaurant. That night set into motion a weekly Friday night "family date night". Even Brutus got in on it all, warming his way into Jill's heart. It wasn't that the girls were their whole world, but they just found their time as a group more enjoyable. The girls would run off and play and the two of them would find things to talk about like their days in high school, family situations, and what they hoped to see happen in his practice and in her dance studio's future.
Now that Mike didn't have crazy hours for work, they found themselves spending almost every single evening together for dinner or for other outings, like going to the farmers’ markets around the county or to a theme park.
The truck finally died and she had it towed away by a local mechanic who promised that he would take good care of it and bring it back to its original glory. She had to admit that was a very hard thing to let go of, maybe harder than the house, but it was all part of the process of letting go. She had no more dreams of Doug and though she felt the loss of his presence for Katie's sake, she no longer felt it for herself. She would always love him for giving her Katie and making sure she was taken care of but this new love with Mike was much different. She couldn't be happier with where things were going than she was now.
"Mom, I can't find my swimsuit," Katie hollered through the apartment and down the hall.
It didn't matter the location of the home things never seemed to change, as far as she and Katie went. Katie could never find anything and it forced Jill to look for everything for her. She was beginning to wonder if it was a tactic her daughter was using to get her attention, but after talking to Emma, she found that Sarah was doing the same thing.
"Did you check your swim bag?" she asked as she walked down the hall to her daughter's bedroom.
"Oh yeah, I forgot."
Of course she did, Jill thought to herself.
The tune she had set on
her phone when Mike called faintly rang through the apartment. Her heart leapt as she rushed to catch it before it quit.
"Good afternoon, gorgeous."
"You have no idea how much I love hearing that when I call you. Are you almost ready to go?"
Due to the fact that there was a large age gap between Sarah Daniels and the new baby Emma was about to have, the group had decided to get together and throw her a little coed baby shower cook-out on this Labor Day Weekend. Emma was due in a few weeks, but when she told Tiffany and Jill that she had been having too many strong Braxton Hicks contractions, they decided they needed to do it now or never. Jill had more fun picking out baby clothes than she had in a really long time. Who could resist tiny ruffled bottom pants?
"Katie is trying to find a clean swimsuit right now."
"She forgot to wash her other one again?" He was beginning to learn the quirkiness that was Katie.
"She left it in the bag that she took to the pool earlier in the week."
"Oh that has to stink."
"You have no idea. Just give us five minutes."
Because the Daniels had a large backyard, they had agreed to let them throw the party at their home. It also saved on transport of all the baby gifts. There was no packing and unpacking necessary.
Pulling into their circle driveway Sarah came running from the side door of the house squealing. The girls in the backseat replied in the same tone as Sarah's. Mike and Jill looked at each other in pure irritation as their ears began to ring. The pitch levels were high enough that trying to talk over them at that moment would prove useless.
"We'll talk to them about indoor voices applying to within the car later," Mike told her as the girls exited the vehicle.
She hated delayed punishment, but would have to accept it for now. Emma was waddling her way to greet them.
"Am I glad to see you guys! Ryan is driving me nuts. He's worried about me being on my feet in this heat or some kind of nonsense like that. Mike, can you go keep him company so that I can get a moment of relief?"
Mike laughed at her over dramatized notion but agreed to go. "You know he's just a nervous dad. It's been a few years since he's done something like this." He stated as he walked away with a hand waving in the air.
"He is such a good guy, I hope you know that."
Emma was always digging.
"Yes, I know that. Do you think I would've spent the entire summer with him if I hadn't?" Jill let her mock irritation hang in the air. "What kind of girl do you think I am?"
"Hopefully a smart one when he asks you to be his wife."
Not once over the entire summer were any hints dropped that brought that topic of conversation to light between her and Mike or anybody else for that matter.
"I am sure I will. But why did you choose that particular phrasing?"
Emma wrapped an arm through Jill's as she replied, "Don't you worry about a thing, just enjoy your time. Now can you help me back in the house so I can get out of this heat? I'm going to have to take shifts between coming outside and sitting in the air conditioning."
A nagging feeling began to prick in the back of her head. This party was supposed to be for Ryan and Emma and the baby to be. Did Mike have something else up his sleeve?
*****
Mike was glad Jill hadn't reached for his hand. His palms were so sweaty that he swore they dripped like a leaky faucet. He couldn't remember ever being this nervous; not even when he took his final exam for medical school or when he was looking at the fist of Jill's father back in high school.
Mike searched around the house and backyard for the person he was told to find and help. He greeted various people from church and some total strangers. They knew his name but he couldn't recall theirs.
"I thought this was just a small gathering," he said to no one in particular.
Finally thinking to look out by the pond, he made his way down the path. Emma had once told him how tranquil this walk was but he had never experienced it for himself until now. He could see how this walk would be a great place to meet God in the middle of a stressful week or when your brain was such a racket you couldn't think straight.
Standing out on the dock with a fishing rod in his hand and a cane at his side stood Ryan.
"Of all the times to decide to go fishing you chose now when you have a yard full of people?" Mike asked as he approached his friend.
"I'm not used all those people. I swear there are more people in my yard and in my house than were at my wedding. How can we know so many people and never see them unless there's a party?" Ryan asked as he cast his line into the water.
"You're not serving alcohol are you?" That was the only time he expected to see large groups. Ryan's evil eye told him "no" to his question. “I guess not.”
The pair stood side by side as a crane flew in from over the trees that surrounded the pond and landed on the opposite bank. Bull frogs croaked, crickets chirped, and geese clucked all around them. It was beautifully peaceful.
“So, when are you going to do it?” Ryan’s question broke the serenity of the moment.
“Do what? You have another rod over there?”
Ryan handed Mike the spare rod and the container of bait. “This is wrong, you know that, right? We should be up at the house helping.” Mike announced with little conviction. He was not sure he could face Jill without making a fool of himself today.
“Probably. I’m hoping the rest of the guys will get the idea. Not sure why they had to do a coed shower. So, are you still going to do it today? When do you plan to ask her?”
“I’m not sure. Some time tonight. After this weekend, she will be back into dance instructor mode and I won’t see her. She’ll be too busy.” She was beginning to become unreachable already. “I’m starting to think this would be the perfect spot. That is if I can get you to go away,” Mike joked.
“Dad! Mom’s looking for you,” Stephen called through the trees.
“He seems to know right where to find you,” Mike commented.
“He knows I hate crowds larger than those at the church. This is my getaway place. I rarely catch a thing but I love how it calms the nerves.”
“I can see that.”
“Dad?” Stephen called again.
“Guess I better go. Duty calls. A duty with ocean blue eyes that keeps me chained to home and hearth, and I don't mind a bit.”
Ryan walked back toward the house while Mike remained, pondering his wording and prayed he could say what he needed to when the time came.
“Ryan told me you would be down here. You trying to hide?” she asked as she came up behind him, wrapping her arms around his waist and laying her head on his back. "You're missing quite the party," she remarked in a hushed tone. He didn't care what he was missing, because everything he needed at the moment was here.
"I've seen enough of my friends have children that I've been to plenty of coed baby showers." He placed his hands on hers. He turned in her arms, placing his around her "I'm just glad that I can proudly say I'm spoken for at this baby shower."
"Spoken for, huh? I thought this was just a flirtation." The teasing glint in her eye helped keep his nerves at bay. But the more he gazed into those emerald green eyes, the more peace that flooded his soul. It was like home to him.
"Can I ask you something?" This wasn't how he planned it, but if he was going to let God write their love story, he was going to say every word with prayerful thought. "Why do you love me?"
"Are we feeling a little insecure tonight?" she jokingly asked.
"No, I'm serious."
He watched her shift from fun and flirtatious to serious. "Okay. Well," she paused and he could see that she was putting things together. He noticed that there were times that if she didn't know how to say something the right way she would mull it over before she spoke.
The seconds ticked on his watch, seeming louder than they really were as he waited.
"I love you because you love your niece like she's your own child. You s
acrificed so much to raise her. You've gone above and beyond what was necessary to make sure that Katie and I had a safe place to live." She squeezed his waist a little tighter as she continued, "I feel safe with you. I know I won't hear judgmental remarks, or have you question every move I make. I can tell you just about anything. I've never felt the level of comfort to be able to reveal things to my friends like I have with you. And it's not because we have history. I didn't feel that way at the beginning. In fact, you scared me. I love you because when I'm with you," she paused as emotion filled her eyes. Her voice quivered as she finished her speech. "When I'm with you I feel like I'm at home and when we part, my heart physically hurts. I cannot stand the thought of not seeing you every day."
Mike's heart raced within his chest because everything she said to him reflected his own heart. There was one more thing he had to know so he asked, "Are you sure that what you feel for me has nothing to do with our past?"
"I have never been more sure of anything that has happened in my life besides Katie. Don't totally disregard what we had then as it was a precursor to what we have now. What we had in high school was puppy love but we both knew that our hearts had the potential for something more. Whether it was God or just life, we had a really long break. But if you would have asked me to wait for you that night I would have."
Mike released her waist and took hold of her hands. That was the perfect lead into the next part of the conversation.
Looking down at the joined hands before him and then gazing back into her eyes, he knew that this was the place he needed to be; with the person he needed to be with.
"What would you have said if I had asked you to marry me that night?" No matter what level of confidence he had before, his heart dropped into his stomach with anticipation, if she didn't answer the way he thought she would it would ruin his next question.
Her eyes began to glisten in the sunlight and her red locks glowed like fire. Living with her would be an adventure he looked forward to.
Dance and Be Glad Page 19