At this point, I’m not sure what to think. Should I be angry with him for snooping into my affairs? Or should I be pleased that he’s the only one who ever cared enough to stand up for me?
“Are you angry?” he asks.
“I don’t know. At first I was. But when you explain it like this, I’ve never had anyone to champion my cause before. You must’ve made an impact on my dad for him to come here and tell me he was sorry. He gave me fifty thousand dollars, but I don’t want it.”
Ryder puts both hands on my legs and says, “Take the damn money, Sky. Put it in the bank. Don’t you dare tell him you don’t want it. After everything you’ve been through, it’s the very least he can do.”
After I think about it for a second, I say, “But it’s like he’s paying me off.”
“No! Does he feel guilty? Hell yeah. And he should. But he owes you. And a hell of a lot more than that, too. The man has a big house and two Mercedes. He can afford it. Take the fucking money. Even if you never see him again.”
“Maybe.”
“Please take it.”
He makes sense, but I sure wish my dad had come through years ago.
“Please don’t be mad at me, Sky. I didn’t do it to be nosy. I did it to find you.” He moves from the chair to sit beside me on the couch.
“Stop, Ryder. I know what you’re going to do and I need space right now.” He backs right off.
“Do you want me to leave?”
“I think that’d be best.” I can’t trust myself to look at him so I keep my focus on my hands, which are clasped in my lap.
“Sky, please reconsider.”
“I can’t yet, Ryder.”
“Okay. You know where to reach me. I’ll be waiting for you.”
I don’t trust myself to speak at all because if I do, I’ll tell him not to leave. But I have to sort this out in my head. I need to talk to Dr. Martinelli. My feelings for Ryder are so tangled up with the sex, I can’t separate the two. And I need to in order to do what’s right for me. Even though he didn’t do anything out of malice, the fact that he went so far as to hire a detective to find out about me, speaks volumes on how controlling he is. Yes, I figured that out by his demands in the bedroom. But this is another thing altogether. And I’m not going to leap into something that has potentially dangerous consequences if I can help it.
My phone sits on an end table so I pick it up and scroll through my contacts until I find the number I seek. Then I hit the call button.
“Martinelli here.”
“Hi. Dr. Martinelli, this is Skylina O’Donnell.”
“Skylina. Everything okay?”
“I need to talk.”
“Go.”
“Now?”
“Isn’t that why you called?”
“Well, yeah, but I was thinking that I could make an appointment.”
“Skylina, you have one for Tuesday. Remember?”
“Yes, but I need one sooner.”
“Talk. Now.”
“It’s Ryder,” I begin. I try my best to piece the giant puzzle together for her so it doesn’t sound like some crazy soap opera. In the end, I do a terrible job of it and she laughs.
“Skylina, don’t ever try your hand at journalism.”
“No, ma’am. Wouldn’t think of it.”
“That’s a crazy train of a story, but why are you so concerned?”
“His stalkery!”
“Stalkery? Is that even a word?”
“Yeah, because I just made it up.”
“Hmm. Okay. Anything else?”
“What do you mean?”
“Other concerns, Skylina?”
“Um, no. I guess not. I think it’s so intrusive of him. Who does crap like that?”
“Me,” she answers.
“You?”
“Hell yes. In this day and age, I wouldn’t think twice about running a background check on someone I dated. And let’s go back a bit. Did Ryder not give you a key to his place, before he even knew much about you?”
“Well, yeah.”
I can hear Dr. Martinelli’s fingers thrumming on a table or desk. “So he trusted you enough to give you a key to his home and he didn’t even really know you.”
“But don’t you think hiring a detective is controlling?”
“How so?”
“Well, because he’s digging into my past.”
“Maybe because you were so mysterious.”
“Okay, I’ll give him that. But what about flying all the way to LA and telling my dad off.”
“All right, I know this is unprofessional as hell and I probably shouldn’t say this, but damn girl, he was defending you against someone who should’ve taken care of you and never gave a shit about you. I think that’s kind of hot. That’s the unprofessional part.”
“Dr. Martinelli, will you be my friend and just hang out with me sometime?”
She laughs. “Yeah, let’s grab a glass of wine one afternoon.”
“I need one right now.”
“Where are you?”
“Home. I’ve been packing up this mess of an apartment.”
“How ‘bout a beer instead?” she asks.
“Are you serious?”
“Completely.”
She suggests we meet at the pizza place I saw her at that night with Ryder. Thirty minutes later, I’m out the door.
Gabby, as she wants to be called, sits across from me and we’re sharing a pizza and drinking some beers. We laugh at how inept I am in this relationship.
“Look, if it makes you feel any better, I’m the worst. I’ve had such losers, it’s not even funny. My track record on boyfriends borders on ludicrous. I’ve even considered those speed dating lunches, just so I won’t be trapped in a miserable situation for endless hours.”
“I think I’m in love with him.”
“You think or you are?”
“I don’t know. I’ve never been in love before.”
“Never?” Gabby asks. “Not even puppy love?”
“Think about who you’re sitting across from before you ask that question.”
She squints at me. “I’m talking like junior high. Thirteen, fourteen years old.”
“Nope. I didn’t have any friends. All the parents knew about my mom. No one would let their kids hang out with me. Fun times, right?”
“So, Skylina, what you’re really saying here is that Ryder is not just your first love. He’s your first relationship?”
“You got it, doc.”
“Well, hell, no wonder you’re freaking out. Listen up. He’s a good guy. I can’t say anything else. But I can say this. Ryder Christiansen is a good … no, he’s a great guy. Do you hear me?”
My eyes widen, my ears perk up and I lean in closer. “Really?”
“Yes. Really. Now, go with your gut instinct on him. And this controlling thing you’re worried about? Don’t be.”
“But when we have sex, he’s very controlling.”
“Do you like it?”
“Oh yeah!”
“Then what’s the biggie? As long as you’re both satisfied. You are satisfied, aren’t you?”
Satisfied. No, it’s way beyond satisfied. It’s ferking exquisite.
Gabby snorts. “Damn, girl. Don’t bother answering that. From that expression on your face, I’d say you two are the perfect match.”
I hold my bottle in the air and wait for her to do the same. Then I clink mine against hers. Definitely the perfect match as far as bedroom mates are concerned.
“So, Skylina, can I ask you something?”
“Shoot.”
“What was it like? Being a working girl?”
“At first, awful.” I tell her about Mikey and she’s horrified. But then I explain how J.D. came into the picture and everything changed. She already knows a lot about my former clients, but she wants to know how I felt about them.
“Meh, they were nice guys and good to me, I guess. And before Ryder, I never gave it much thought. But then after Ryder, I
couldn’t stand it. I didn’t want them to touch me. It made my skin crawl even worse.”
“You’re in love. That wouldn’t matter if you didn’t have such deep feelings for him.”
“You need to meet Cara. She’s my best friend. Heck, she’s my only friend. But she and I worked together for years and she’s completely different. She can be in love with someone and still go to work and it not bother her. She loves the highs of being able to control men. That’s what it’s all about for her.”
“Damn, I’d love to dig into her psyche.”
She’s almost rubbing her hands together. She makes me laugh.
“Hey, I’ll get her out with us one night. She’s the most gorgeous thing you’ve ever seen too. But you’d love her. And Jimmy too. He was my bodyguard at Exotique-A and my bestie too. I’m still trying to figure out how to get Ryder to be okay with that relationship.”
“Ah, yeah, I can see how Ryder wouldn’t like that at all. He’s protective of you. I mean his trip to LA showed just how much. So what are you going to do about him?”
I close my eyes for a moment. “I’m sure I’ll give in and we’ll be together by tomorrow night.”
She looks at her empty bottle and then at me and says, “Well, I think this is it for me, kiddo.”
“Yeah, same here. I have to finish packing tomorrow. The big move is next week. And I start my new job on Monday.”
“Oh, right. Case. You’ll love working for him. He’s awesome.”
“Yeah, I hope he can put up with my incompetence.”
“Okay, now your friend is putting on her shrink hat and telling you that you’re not incompetent. You just need to be trained and there’s a huge difference.”
“Thanks, Doc!”
“Hey, I’ll see ya on Tuesday for your appointment.”
“Right. Till then.”
I turn and head towards my apartment, thinking about Gabby and Ryder and everything in between. Maybe I am paranoid. Or perhaps it’s just insecurity or inexperience. I’m afraid of being hurt, abandoned, controlled. Hellz, there’s not much left to be afraid of. But now when I think about it, it was pretty amazing of Ryder to fly all the way to the west coast, just to tell my dad what a POS he is. I bet he scared the crap out of my dad too. I wonder if the evil stepmom witnessed any of it. I sure hope so. It would give me great pleasure to know she had seen someone like Ryder give my dad a tongue lashing. I’m still grinning over that when I get home, and so I do what I figured I’d end up doing. I pick up my phone and hit his number, hoping to have a long conversation with him before I fall asleep.
FIVE
Ryder
The look on her face … in her eyes, tells me what I need to know. She doesn’t want me here. So I get out. I walk. And walk. And walk some more. And then I go home. It’s times like these I wish I still drank. Or did other things. But that’s not an option. Once I’m home, I know this is not going to work, so I change and head to the gym.
The treadmill is where I begin. After eight grueling miles, my next stop is the free weights room, where I pump enough iron until every muscle is at failure. Then I break for about twenty minutes. My brain is still jacked up so I hit the bag for my last stop. By the time my session with that is over, I’m wasted … completely given out. I pack my shit up and head home, where I stand under a hot shower to let the water soothe my aching muscles.
By this time, I’m ready to collapse. But my stomach is letting me know how pissed off at me it is. The refrigerator beckons me and I make a huge sandwich to fill my starving body. When I’m almost finished eating, my phone vibrates. I almost don’t bother to answer it, but something makes me check the caller ID, and I’m surprised to see who it is.
“Skylina.”
“Hey.”
I hear a smile in that word.
“Hey back. What’re you doing?”
She lets out a tiny laugh. “I was just getting ready to ask you the same thing.”
“Well, I’m stuffing my face.”
“Hmm. Anything good?”
“Just a sandwich I made.”
“Oh. Want some company?”
“You never have to ask me that. Door’s always open for you.”
“I’m on my way.”
“Hey, Sky. Take a cab.”
“Ryder, it’s only a few blocks.”
“Please. For me.”
“Okay.”
We end the call and I sit and stare at my phone. Why did she change her mind? Why isn’t she pissed off at me any more? Or is she? She didn’t sound like she was. I stuff the rest of my sandwich down my throat and go brush my teeth. By the time I’m done, she’s walking in the door.
Every time I see her, it’s like the very first time. Her face always looks so fresh to me … as bright as the sun. Her wavy blond hair begs my fingers to wrap themselves in it and her luscious pink mouth is ripe for my kisses. But I hold back and do nothing except eye her as she walks up to me.
“Your hair’s wet. Did you just shower?” Her hand slides through my hair, but I trap it and kiss her palm before releasing it.
“Yeah. I hung out at the gym tonight.”
“Did you beat yourself up?”
“Yeah. I’m pretty fucking whipped, actually.”
“Ryder, I …”
I stop her. “You know what? All I’d love to do right now is crawl into bed with you curled up next to me. Would you mind that too much? My eyes feel like they have lead weights in them.”
She doesn’t say a word, but grabs my hand and leads me into the bedroom. Off comes my shirt and she orders me in the bed.
“Not the pants?”
“Sure, if you’d like.”
I peel them off and slide under the sheets. She locks the place up and hits the bathroom. I hear her brushing her teeth, but I don’t even feel her come to bed. I’m asleep before she gets in.
Her mouth is on my cock and it’s still dark in the room. That wet tongue of hers is like hot cream covering me. Her hands cup my balls and squeeze as she sucks and strokes me with that sweet mouth of hers.
“Sky, get up here. I want your body wrapped around mine. Now.”
She slides up me and covers me with kisses as she goes. My hands move to her hips and I flip her on her back. I slide my hand down to her sex, checking to see if she’s ready for me. She is. She’s always ready.
“Roll on your side, babe.”
When she does, I lift her leg and wrap it around my waist. Then I rub my dick around her opening, and slide it up and down her slit until she sighs. Normally at this point, I would plunge it in hard and fast, but for some reason I want it slow with her. So I inch in, and watch her face. Her tongue peeks out and wets her lower lip and that’s all I can take. My arms pull her close to me so I can taste her mouth, feel that tongue on mine. We kiss. Sensuously. Slowly. Just like we fuck this time. I take her breath in mine and we watch each other. It moves me so deeply it’s nearly impossible to process. The whole picture of Skylina, as she lies next to me, is quite extraordinary. Her breasts scream for my mouth, her abs beg for my touch, her hands reach for me but her eyes pull my heart to a place it’s never been before. My hips rock into her and she receives each thrust with perfect rhythm, like we were made for each other. It occurs to me that this is the first time I’ve ever made love to anyone when it wasn’t hard and dirty. This is soft. Perfect. Beyond beautiful.
“Ryder.”
The way she says my name pulls me back. Then her hand cups my face and she tilts her head back. I can feel her pussy tightening on my cock and then those spasms take over. My body quickens on its own, my thrusts increasing in intensity and I climax right after her as I call out her name. And then I’m absolutely speechless. Because this was the most moving experience of my life. Not because it was the greatest fuck. But because it was the most tender, the most intimate moment I’ve ever shared with anyone. And I know I never want this woman to leave. I am so in love with her.
She stares at me and I crush my mouth on
hers, kissing her as if my life were ending. My hands pull her on top of me as my arms hold her tightly against my heart. With profound clarity, I realize that it doesn’t matter that she was a prostitute and slept with a lot of men. And that she danced naked for dozens more. She’s pure to me and that’s all I care about. She makes me feel like I’ve finally found my oasis after wandering the desert for years. I’m that man that has finally been given water when he’s been dying of thirst.
“Are you okay?” Her voice even has the ability to soothe me.
“Oh yeah. Better than okay. You’re perfect, you know.”
She lets out one of her laughs. She has no confidence in herself. That’s okay. I’m going to change that. One day, she’ll see herself as I do. The most beautiful girl in the world and the only girl that stole my heart.
“You are, Sky. You can’t see what I do. But you will one day. So, I take it you’re not angry with me?”
“No. I met Gabby for some beers and pizza.”
“Gabby?”
“Dr. Martinelli.”
I stiffen. What. The. Fuck.
“Hey. Don’t get all uptight on me. It’s all good. She’s opened my eyes.”
“Oh, and how exactly did she do that?” This ought to be good. “And while we’re on this subject, when did you two become such great chums?”
She laughs. “Tonight. I called her. Here’s the deal, Ryder.” She kisses my nose and my body relaxes. How does she do that? “I thought you were being stalkery.”
“Stalkery? Is that a word, Sky?”
Laughter rumbles in her chest. “That’s exactly what Gabby said!”
“Hmm. Well, it’s nice to know Gabby and I think alike.”
“You do! You wouldn’t believe it!”
“Why don’t you tell me?” Though I try to refrain, I can’t keep the irritation from invading my voice.
“You’re jealous!”
“No. Jealous isn’t quite the emotion I’m feeling. But please. Go on.”
“Well, I was worried because you’re so controlling.”
This comes as a shock to me. Totally. “You think I’m controlling?”
“Well, yeah. I do.”
“Why?”
“Ryder.” She’s actually admonishing me. “Seriously? You went to LA and scolded my dad. You try to tell me what to do. Like take a cab or whatever.”
Dirty Nights Page 19