by Holly Webb
“I bet they’re not.” Bethany gave her a little push towards the door. “Go on!”
Sure enough, Lily came back to singing ten minutes later, looking confused but happy. It was a pity that Mr Harvey wasn’t the kind of teacher who’d ever let you get away with private conversations in his class. He was cross enough about being interrupted as it was. So the girls had to wait until the end of school to interrogate her.
“What happened?” Bethany demanded as soon as Mr Harvey had stalked out.
Lily shook her head, looking bewildered. “Ms Purcell wanted to tell me that she’d spoken to my mum. Mr Lessing was worried about me this morning, so they called her and they had this long talk about how the school prefers parents not to go to auditions if at all possible. And Ms Purcell managed to convince her that it’s better if she doesn’t coach me because I shouldn’t have too many influences, and they think I might have been overstressed. I don’t know how she did it. Or how Mr Lessing knew what was wrong.”
Chloe was grinning manically and Sara kicked her. But unfortunately not before Lily noticed. She glanced quickly round at her three mates. “Did you tell him?” she asked slowly.
Bethany nodded apologetically. Somehow admitting this was much worse than she’d imagined, with Lily’s dark eyes blazing at her.
Lily gasped. She looked furious, her face incredibly white. She seemed not to be able to breathe, and Bethany looked worriedly at Sara and Chloe. She had a feeling she’d made a horrible mistake. Lily’s fingers were clenched into her palms, her nails digging in. Suddenly she launched herself at Bethany, as though she was going to claw at her face. But all she did was hug her.
“Thank you, thank you, thank you!”
Bethany gasped with relief. “I thought for a minute you were going to strangle me!” she said, only half laughing. “I’m really sorry, Lily, we should have asked you, but, well, we thought you’d say no, and somebody had to do something.”
Lily nodded, her face still pale. “And I’d never have told him. Oh, Bethany, I’m so glad you said that thing about my mum helping me out. If I’d never told you what was going on…” She paused, looking thoughtful. “I’ve still got to go home and see what kind of a state my mum’s in though.”
“Do you think she’ll be upset?” Chloe asked. She got on really well with her mum and she couldn’t imagine having this sort of thing going on between them.
“I don’t know. I guess so – I suppose it depends what Ms Purcell actually said.”
“She managed to sort my parents out,” Sara said encouragingly. “And she did it perfectly, going on about the benefits of life experiences and one-to-one teaching. She had my mum totally convinced. Mum thinks Ms Purcell’s brilliant now.”
“Maybe she’ll manage another miracle then.” Lily grinned. “Well, I don’t have to worry about that till I get home. Anyone fancy going to that new juice bar round the corner? My treat – you lot deserve it.”
One raspberry smoothie later, Lily had to face going home. She knew her mum wasn’t working that day, so she’d almost certainly be there. She opened the front door quietly, hoping not to be noticed.
“Darling!” Her mother swooped down on her, looking dreadful. She’d definitely been crying. Lily could tell from the puffiness round her eyes. “Why didn’t you tell me I was putting too much pressure on you? I feel awful!”
Lily felt like saying “Wasn’t it obvious?” but decided it would be mean. “I didn’t want to upset you – you were trying to help. It was hard to explain.” Looking at her mum’s concerned face, Lily suddenly felt much less resentful. She had only been trying to do her best for Lily, after all.
“You do understand that, don’t you? I went about it the wrong way but that is all I was trying to do.”
Lily nodded slowly. She was almost disappointed that her mum wasn’t cross. Lily had been planning how their argument would go and now she couldn’t force herself to say what she really felt – that her mother had been trying to mould her into a mini version of herself. For a moment they’d nearly been at the point where they could have it all out but Lily just wasn’t brave enough to go there if she didn’t have to.
“Your principal said you need to take it really easy tonight, darling. No looking at the audition piece, going to bed early, all of that. Have you got more coaching tomorrow?” Then she flinched as she heard herself say this. “You don’t have to tell me!” she backtracked quickly.
Lily was torn between laughing and crying. What on earth had Ms Purcell done to her mother? Lily wasn’t sure she wouldn’t prefer the original version back.
“It’s OK,” she said. “I’ve got another session before school tomorrow. Then the audition’s in the afternoon. I’d better go and do my homework,” she muttered, desperate to get away. This was awful!
Her mother nodded and gazed after her as she ran up the stairs to her room. Lily felt like crying – her mother had been as nice about it as she possibly could have been, and it had been like talking to a total stranger. She couldn’t even talk to her dad as he was working late. But one thing was for certain. After what Bethany and the others had done for her today, there was no way she could mess up the audition, however weird everything was. She was going to go in there and do it her way. If that wasn’t what the casting team wanted, then fine. But she would have tried.
“Oh, I’m so nervous! This is so exciting!” Chloe couldn’t stop giggling as the school chaperone signed them all in at the front desk.
The TV production company that was making Little Women was in a very smart building a short tube ride from Shine and they’d been sent over straight after school. The two Year Eight girls were trying to look as though they’d done this millions of times before and kept giving them looks, but Chloe, Lily, Emily and Lauren didn’t care.
“You’ve done lots of auditions before!” Lauren said. “You’ve even been in a TV series, Chloe, how can you be nervous?”
“I know, but I still am!”
They were being shepherded towards a very plush lift and Lily’s heart began to thump. She was trying so hard not to think of that previous audition disaster, and she was clutching the script so tightly that her fingers had gone white.
Because the audition had been arranged through the school, it was only the six of them there. The schedule was tight – there would be girls from other theatre schools following their slot and apparently the producers were intending to make a decision that afternoon. It seemed crazy to Lily that she would have ten minutes at the most to convince these people she was right for the part. A thought suddenly struck her – her mum must have done this thousands of times.
Everyone in the production company offices seemed to be rushing around and the girls stood nervously, watching as they got signed in yet again. The atmosphere reminded Lily of her other audition – the way no one actually seemed that interested in them.
They were swept off to wait in a tiny room, and Lily was horrified when the girl in charge told her that she was going first. Still, at least it would get it over with. She gave Chloe a slightly panicked smile, and then followed the girl into another room.
A man and a woman were sitting at a table covered with photographs. Lily realized that the school must have sent her photo over too. In fact, the man was holding it and looking at her as though he was making sure it was definitely the same person. Lily suddenly wished it was a nicer picture – it had been taken to go with her application form for the school and she’d been really sulky. Not at all Beth-like.
“This is Lily. She’s the first of the girls from Shine,” said the girl who’d brought her in. “Lily, this is Jackson, he’s the producer, and Annie, the casting director. I’m Annie’s assistant, Meera, and I’ll be reading in the other parts for the audition. OK?”
Lily nodded, worrying that her voice might do something weird if she tried to say yes.
“Just stand over there, Lily,” said the casting director, smiling. She murmured something to the producer, which Lily t
hought sounded like, “Perfect look, don’t you think?” and he nodded. It could have been loads of other things but it made Lily feel slightly better. She was fifty per cent sure that she’d actually be able to speak when she tried now.
“Let’s start with you as Beth, Lily,” the casting director continued.
Lily opened the script. She was pretty sure she didn’t need it but having something to hold was making her feel more confident.
As Meera started to speak Meg’s familiar words, Lily relaxed. Her practice with Mr Lessing that morning had been really good – she felt like she knew Beth again and she wanted everyone else to know her too, to see how brave she was, how desperate that Amy shouldn’t catch the fever from her. She forgot about worrying where her voice had gone and just spoke.
Meera smiled at her when she finished and Lily blinked awkwardly. For a few minutes she hadn’t felt as though she was in an office block in the middle of London at all. She looked anxiously at the casting director and producer, and saw that they were smiling too.
“And now let’s hear you as Amy,” said the casting director, scribbling notes.
Lily tried to put the same effort in but she could tell that although she was reading the part well, the same spark wasn’t there. She couldn’t help feeling that this was Chloe’s part anyway…
“Thank you, Lily. Can you stand over there, so we can take a few more photos of you?”
Meera grabbed a digital camera from the table, and Lily tried to look relaxed and not at all sulky. She had no idea what someone nearly dying of scarlet fever looked like, so she just hoped she looked a bit fragile. She felt fragile.
And then she was outside.
Lily didn’t know how to feel as she walked home from the station. It was hard to believe the audition was over. She’d only known that the part of Beth existed for a week but it seemed as if she’d been aiming towards this afternoon for years. Now that it was over, she felt completely limp. Ms Shaw was going to call later on with news but Lily was almost too tired to care.
Lily’s mum was reading a script at the kitchen table and Lily slumped down opposite her. Her mum looked at her with her head on one side. “Do you fancy a bacon sandwich?” she asked.
Lily laughed weakly. It really wasn’t the question she’d been expecting but actually, yes, a bacon sandwich would be perfect.
“You look shattered,” her mum said as she slipped the bacon under the grill and sliced some bread.
“It’s stupid,” Lily replied. “The audition only took ten minutes but I feel like I’ve been running a marathon or something.”
“Mmm.”
Lily sighed. Her mother was so obviously trying not to say anything that might upset her. The thing was, she was quite used to her mum chatting away about auditions and that kind of thing. Super-tactful mother just seemed wrong.
“I thought of you as I was about to go into the audition,” she said suddenly.
Her mother turned round from the grill, looking hopeful and scared all at once. “I just realized that you must have waited outside thousands of auditions,” Lily explained. “That smells really good,” she added.
“I always have to have a bacon sandwich afterwards,” her mum said, sliding the plate over to her. “The nerves make me feel so hungry.” She grinned and bit into her own sandwich. “I’ve never been as nervous as today though. I don’t think I’ve actually read my script at all – or if I have it’s really terrible, because I can’t remember a word of it.”
“You were nervous because I was doing an audition?” Lily asked curiously.
“Mmm. Especially after what your teachers said. I didn’t realize what I was doing, Lily, you do know that? And I am really sorry.”
Lily, looking thoughtful, put ketchup on her sandwich. “It felt like you wouldn’t let me do anything for myself.” She looked up at her mum challengingly, daring her to deny it.
But her mum was nodding. “Absolutely.”
Lily stared at her. How could she just sit there and agree?
“Lily, I didn’t want you to have to! It’s been so difficult sometimes. I was trying to use my experience to protect you. But I can’t – you have to do it for yourself. I just hope I haven’t spoiled this audition for you.”
Lily shook her head slowly. “I don’t think so – it seemed to go OK. Oh. I don’t know!”
Her mum shrugged. “I can never tell either,” she admitted. “Do you know when you’ll hear?”
Lily looked up at the clock. “Ms Shaw’s going to phone us all if they let her know in time. They’re supposed to decide tonight. They want to get started on the filming over Christmas.”
And with perfect dramatic timing, the phone started to ring.
Lily nearly knocked her plate off the table. She stared at her mum, her eyes round with panic.
“Answer it, darling,” her mum said, trying to sound calm.
Lily shook her head. “No. You answer it for me. Please. I want you to.” And she smiled. Suddenly it seemed like she and her mum actually had something in common. They were both terrified!
With shaking fingers, her mum reached for the phone.
“Hello? Yes, Marina Ferrars speaking. Oh. Oh right.”
Lily stared at her mother, her heart thudding. Her face was unreadable – well, she was an actress.
Suddenly her mother winked at her, and Lily’s heart stopped thudding and jumped into her mouth instead. “I’ll tell her. Thanks so much. Yes, goodbye!”
“What? What what what?” Lily squeaked.
“You got it! Oh, Lily, all by yourself! I’m so proud of you!”
Lily jumped at her, squeezing her tight in a huge hug. “You helped!”
And, despite everything, she knew it was true.
Bethany Adams leaned against the bus window and closed her eyes. Just for a minute. She’d had to get up at six and she hadn’t had time for breakfast – too much history homework that she should have done the night before.
Her big sister Serena had shoved a piece of toast into her hand as she dashed out of the door to catch the bus. Serena loved peanut butter but she could never remember that it made Bethany feel sick, and so the toast went in the first bin Bethany saw. She had a horrible feeling that Mr Townsend was going to say she should have done the same with her history.
It wasn’t fair. With her long bus journey to school (and today was a good day – she’d actually managed to get a seat) Bethany never had time to do her homework as well as she would have liked. Mr Townsend hadn’t been exactly happy with the last piece of work she’d handed in either.
She ought to be learning her French for their vocabulary test this morning but she just couldn’t focus right now. She got the book out and propped it open on her bag, as if that would help. But then a warm, dozy feeling came over Bethany and she wrapped her arms round her dance bag and snoozed.
“Excuse me? Hey?”
Oh no! Not another grumpy passenger having a go because Bethany had her bags on the seat! She opened her eyes wearily and prepared to heave her things on to her lap.
“Sorry to wake you – you look as though you needed that nap. But don’t you normally get off here?” It wasn’t someone spitting fire at all. It was the girl with the purple hair and twenty or so earrings, who always caught this bus with Bethany. She was looking worriedly out of the window. “This is your stop, isn’t it?” she asked.
Bethany was sure the girl must have made a mistake – she’d only closed her eyes thirty seconds ago! But she checked out of the window just in case. Eek! The girl was right.
The bus was just starting to pull away from the kerb. “Stop!” she yelped, grabbing the bell and ringing it about six times. “Thank you!” she gasped to the purple-haired girl, scrambling for her stuff.
Bethany hurtled down the gangway to the doors.
Unfortunately it was the grouchy driver today, and he was making a big fuss about opening them again.
“It’s kids like you who make the buses run late,” he wa
s muttering. “Wake up, can’t you?”
“Sorry.” Bethany tried hard to look as though she really was but it was difficult. This was the guy who insisted on examining her pass each morning as though she were a master criminal, not an eleven year old he saw every day. And the bus was always late anyway! At last the doors opened and Bethany jumped out, waving gratefully at the purple-haired girl as the bus drove off.
She dumped her bags on the pavement and gave a deep sigh of relief. Thank goodness that girl had woken her up. She’d probably have ended up on the other side of London otherwise.
Sleepily she slung her rucksack on to her shoulder and grabbed her bag of dance clothes. Then she had a horrible thought. Her French textbook!
Please, please, please let me have put it back in my bag, she thought to herself. But even as she scrabbled frantically through her rucksack she knew she hadn’t. It was probably down the side of the seat somewhere. Ms LeBrun was going to kill her.
Bethany trudged up the road to school. So far, it was definitely not a good day. For once even the sight of the school buildings, with The Shine School for the Performing Arts in big gold letters above the main door, failed to cheer her up. She actually felt jealous of Serena, lounging at home watching stuff on her phone until ten minutes before registration at Downsbrook, just five minutes round the corner from their flat. Bethany was shattered and the day hadn’t even started. Was it really worth all this effort just to get to school?
Stupid question, Bethany told herself firmly. Of course it is. You’re just having a bad day.
A bad week, something grumbled back. And unfortunately it was true. Bethany felt like she’d been running to catch up with herself ever since she’d discovered on Monday that their science projects were supposed to be finished and hers had been on her bed at home, half done. So she was on the wrong side of Mrs Taylor, which was impressive as their science teacher was more like a fluffy teddy bear than anything else. And now she was about to give in some history that she’d spent all of twenty minutes on, and she had to tell their very un-teddy-bear-like French teacher that her textbook was on a bus, probably somewhere near King’s Cross by now.