Two
The Esolace
When Adan came to, he could see more clearly. He was in a small empty room. A cold light glimmered down from the ceiling, reflecting harshly off the metallic walls.
The pallet on which he lay had white, plastic slats forming a border around the sides, making it seem like he was resting inside a shallow box. His head ached and he felt exhausted. He had only vague recollections of what had happened to him before. The only thing he could remember for sure was that there had been an attempt at conversation and a great deal of pain and confusion after that.
Questions crowded his mind, but this time there were no hazy figures to address them to. All he could do was lie there and wait. Even rising up and looking around the room was not a possibility; he was far too weak. With each passing moment, his doubts and anxieties about what was happening to him loomed larger in his mind.
The silence grew deeper, until his ears rang with the dim whine of invented sounds. He was listening so hard that when the soft brush of footsteps swished from somewhere behind him it startled him and he banged his head against the back of the pallet.
A man dressed in a long, silver coat appeared at his side. He had short, light brown hair and listless, dark eyes. He stood there silently, staring in Adan’s direction.
Adan wanted to say something, but the questions fought inside his mind and choked each other out. Thankfully, the stranger spoke first.
“Hello. I’m one of the scientists here,” he said. “I’ve come to check in on you.”
There was a long silence as Adan ran through the man’s words in his head. He understood what a scientist was, but it was the word ‘here’ which made him stumble. Where was he, after all? He couldn’t remember.
“How do you feel?” the man asked.
Adan stared at him, as if that would help him understand what the man was saying.
“Feel? How do I feel?…With my fingers I suppose—if I could move them—oh, wait, you’re asking about something else…I feel weak, but the pain isn’t as bad—is that what you meant?”
“There were some difficulties with your procedure, but they have been addressed. We ran some tests while you were resting and managed to resolve your issues. I’ve come in just to do a bit of follow up. So, if you’re ready, I’m going to ask you a few questions. Is that all right?”
“Yes, yes of course,” Adan said, elated that he finally understood what the man was saying.
“First of all, what is your name?”
Adan paused, somewhat taken aback that the answer did not immediately come to mind. “Um…Adan,” he said at last. The word felt awkward as it came across his lips.
“And where are you?” the man asked.
“I’m…well, I don’t know. I wanted to ask you that question.”
“You’re at the Institute.”
“The Institute…How did I get here?”
“If you don’t mind, I’ll ask the questions. Everything you need to know will be revealed to you in time.”
Adan sighed. Even as he grew more confident in his ability to understand what the man was saying, the cold, matter-of-fact tone of the reply indicated the scientist was not here to help in the way Adan had hoped.
“Tell me about your most recent memories,” the man went on.
“Memories? But didn’t I—didn’t they say…they’re gone, aren’t they?” Adan grimaced, struggling to recall what he’d been told.
“Do you remember any people you may have met? Even yesterday perhaps, or in the recent past?”
“No. That’s what I was hoping you might—”
“Other details, places, events?” The man droned on, firing off his questions disinterestedly.
Adan simply shook his head, dejected and defeated. He was beginning to get the impression that these were not so much questions as they were declarations—painful reminders of his wretched ignorance about anything and everything.
“Fine, we’ll move on. I want you to look into my face. Study my expression. Focus on what I might be thinking. Do you have any inkling as to what that might be? Just say whatever comes to mind. There are no wrong answers here.”
The man regarded Adan patiently, but other than that, as far as Adan could tell, his face was a complete mystery. Adan had no idea what he was thinking or why he was even asking such a bizarre question. Adan could barely make sense of his own thoughts, much less those of a total stranger.
“I have no idea,” Adan said, shaking his head. “I just want to know who I am.”
“All right then, one last question. How long have you been here at the Institute?” The man stared at Adan with the same blank expression.
Tears began to well up in Adan’s eyes. He struggled to hold them back, not wanting to cry in front of this man, to appear any more vulnerable than he already was. He was too weak to cover his face with his hand so he turned away, shaking his head slowly back and forth, rendering his answer to the man’s blurry reflection in the plastic slat on the edge of his bed. He wished that everything would disappear and he could go back to being whoever he was before. But he was as powerless to make that happen as he was to hold back his tears. A moment later the first drops of moisture dampened his cheeks. He wept silently to himself in the corner of the bed.
Why couldn’t he remember anything? A sudden impulse came over him to smash his head against the back of the pallet in order to somehow jar his mind into functioning. Hot tears spilled down his face. Embarrassed, he did his best to wipe his cheeks on the sterile white bedding. Eventually, he risked a glance back towards the visitor. When he did so, he realized that he need not have hidden his face. For the man was no longer there.
Adan continued to grope his way in and out of consciousness. He had no idea how much time had passed since that first hazy conversation, but his health was improving. He found he could now perform small movements with his hands and feet.
Most of the time, shortly after he’d awake, another visitor would appear. All of them were dressed in the same shimmering lab coats. Sometimes two or three came at a time, but he could never tell them apart. They all looked the same, though it may just have been that his vision was still somewhat blurry.
The visits invariably followed the same pattern: the soft shuffling of feet, the impassive faces, the inscrutable questions to which he never had an answer—questions about his memory or what the scientists were thinking or other strange questions about which he was certain they already knew the answers.
This routine played itself out over and over until one day a scientist visited him who was not like the others. The difference was subtle. If the others had not been so remarkably similar, Adan probably would not have noticed, but this man was a touch thinner, his eyes more focused. More importantly, even before he spoke, there was a perceptiveness in his eyes that wasn’t there with the others.
“You are making steady progress, and I have some good news for you,” the man said. His voice sounded strained, like he wasn’t used to talking.
Excitement tingled across Adan’s scalp at this unusual opening. He wondered if someone was finally going to tell him about his past. He tried to push the thought back so as not to be crushed if the man had come to say something else, but that was all he could think of when he heard the words, ‘good news’.
“While you were asleep, we ran some more tests and we think you’re ready to be briefed on some of the long term goals we have for your treatment. I know you’ve been wondering what plans we have for you, so I’d like to take a moment to go over one important aspect of them. You see, part of what we hope to accomplish—once you are healthy, of course—is to enable you to fully integrate back into society.”
“If I’m going to do that,” Adan risked the interruption, overcome by excitement. “I’ll need to know who I am, won’t I? Is that what you came here to tell me about?” His nerves were on edge. He knew it would probably do no good to force the issue, but he couldn’t help himself.
“You mu
st be patient. Just as you are physically unable to walk, so mentally there are still many things you are not ready for. I’m here to talk to you about how we intend to bring you back into full participation with the world outside the Institute. But if now’s not a good time, I can always come back later.”
“No, no, I’m sorry,” Adan said hastily. “Of course I want to hear about it. It’s just—well, go on. I’m listening.”
He was so desperate for companionship or any scrap of information that when it came down to it, he would listen to anything the scientists had to say. He always tried to make them stay as long as possible when they came, even if what they said made little sense. There was something about just being able to listen to the voice of another human being and knowing that, for those few moments at least, he was not alone.
The scientist continued, fixing his gaze at some point just beyond Adan. “I realize that you lack the capacity to fully understand what I am about to tell you, but I’ll try to explain so that you can at least become familiar with the concepts. While you are not consciously aware of them, there are several physical systems working within your body to enable you to live. They are responsible for things like breathing, the flow of blood, thought processes, and so forth."
Adan could not say how, but this was something which he actually understood, though he had never really thought about it before.
“In addition to these mundane systems, you also have a system within you which we call the bioseine.” The man’s voice brightened almost imperceptibly as he said this last word.
“Unlike your other systems, it is not currently in use. However, at some point in the future, when you are ready, your bioseine will be activated. It can be turned on and off, but unfortunately the very first time it is activated, it comes as somewhat of a shock to your other systems and that is why we need to wait until your health improves before proceeding.”
“What is it? What does it do?”
“It does many things. For one, it will regulate all of your other systems, functioning as a sort of corrective or backup to them should problems arise. It will protect you from diseases and other forms of bodily harm that your weaker, more primitive systems are incapable of dealing with. But that is really only its secondary purpose. The main function of the system is to connect you to the esolace.”
Adan struggled to grasp what he was being told. The scientists often used words he was unfamiliar with, never bothering to explain them. But there was something about this conversation that caused Adan to hope this time might be different. More and more as the man went on, Adan noticed that he actually seemed to be taking an interest in what he was saying.
“The esolace?”
“I know it’s a difficult concept for someone in your state to grasp. The best I can do is to give you an analogy. You notice how we’re communicating right now? The sounds are created by vibrations in the throat. These, in turn, are propagated through the air, causing the transmission of certain meaningful tones which are then perceived by our ears and decoded by the brain. We call this speech. Until now, you have no doubt considered this the primary means of making your thoughts known to others. But it’s terribly crude and inefficient. However, your bioseine, together with the esolace, allows instantaneous communication with others at the thought level. It’s much quicker, less ambiguous, and infinitely more effective.”
Adan marveled at what he was hearing, still wondering if he was understanding the words correctly.
“Once your bioseine is activated, you can join this thought-flow in an instant. The range is, for all practical purposes, unlimited. You no longer need to be in the presence of the person with whom you wish to communicate. Wherever you go, you may always access the thoughts of others through the esolace.”
Adan’s brow furrowed as he tried to wrap his mind around what he was being told. But he was given no time to process, for the scientist continued on at an ever-increasing pace.
“Communication is just the beginning. The esolace allows you access to a nearly limitless repository of information as well. And since the bioseine increases the efficiency and speed at which you can process and assimilate this data, while you are connected to the esolace your knowledge becomes essentially unbounded. Anything you need to know is available and comes to your mind as easily as your own thoughts. It’s a remarkable resource. All knowledge is yours for the asking. And everyone connected to it becomes part of this shared body of information, the collective consciousness of the human race.”
“So I—I’ll be able to recover the information about my past?” Adan asked, his hopes stirring.
The man’s eyes glazed over and all hints of inflection vanished from his voice. “Only what is essential is retained.”
“So the knowledge about my past isn’t in the esolace, then?” The man’s silence was all the answer Adan needed. Frustrated, Adan went on, “Then why—why do I need this? If I can’t find out who I am what good is all this knowledge? What does it matter if I don’t even—” he cut himself off as the scientist turned away. “Wait, I’m sorry. I don’t know what I was saying. Could you—would you please tell me why? Why do I need this if it won’t give me back my past?”
The man paused and stared at the foot of Adan’s bed. Adan sensed he was contemplating whether or not he should even bother answering the question. But then he turned and regarded Adan with a cold, narrow stare.
“Why?” his silver lab coat rippled with an abrupt vibration from what could have been a soundless laugh. “It should be obvious why something like this is needed. It is an invaluable tool. All of that knowledge—just think of it. By ourselves, we could never hope to learn all of that. The esolace has been the key to uncountable advances in society. We are able to do everything more quickly, to organize and work together in ways which never would have been possible without it. Can’t you see why such a technology would benefit you? I would have thought it would have been self-evident.”
The man gave Adan a disdainful look, as if there were something wrong with him.
“Yes,” Adan mumbled, “I can see that part of it. It’s just that…well—”
“What’s in the past need not concern you. The present and the future are all that matters,” the man stated bluntly. He took a step back and Adan felt that sinking sensation he always felt just before the scientists left. “I’m afraid I’ve done the best I can for now. I’m certain you will understand these things in time. Believe me, it will all make sense once you have experienced it. Until then, we’ll continue to brief you on things as we deem you are able to process them.”
The man turned again to leave. Adan knew it would be pointless to say anything more. His feet brushed the floor a few times and he was gone. All was quiet once again.
Perhaps Adan should have been grateful the visit had lasted as long as it did. At least he had been given a glimpse about what lay ahead. But he found himself more dejected than ever. For it was clear to him now that he was never going to be told about his past.
Left alone, he mulled over the things he had been told. And the more he contemplated the uncertainty and helplessness of his situation, the harder it became to fend off the overwhelming despair which rose within. Soon all his thoughts were colored by the deep and abiding suspicion that his life was of no importance whatsoever.
Three
The Handler
Two scientists appeared for what Adan assumed was another visit. But instead of coming to his side, they stood and watched as his bed turned and floated towards them. The sudden movement took Adan by surprise.
“What’s going on?” he asked.
“We’re taking you for a new treatment,” they answered, stepping aside as the bed drifted through the doorway and out into the hall.
As the bed conveyed him down the passage, the scientists explained that some complications were impeding the rate of his recovery. For that reason he was about to start a short series of treatments designed to improve his physical condition.
&nb
sp; The scientists called it micro-alembic penetration, but said nothing more about it before they arrived at the treatment room. The slats around Adan’s bed retracted and the bed tilted, sliding him onto a leaden slab. Four straps emerged from the side, fastening him in.
“What is this? What’s happening?” he asked, but there was no response from the glassy-eyed scientists.
The slab was suspended inside a wire frame cylinder. Rings set with short metallic studs ran around the edges. The rings began to rotate. Faint blue beams of energy shot out from the studs. Quick arcing bursts sliced through his body, inflicting intense burning sensations.
“Stop! Please stop!” Adan screamed, but the beams kept coming. It felt like they were cutting him apart from the inside. “Why are you doing this? Stop! Please! Are you trying to kill me?”
Just when he felt he could take no more, a chalky vapor flooded the interior of the cylinder, extinguishing the fire raging inside his bones and causing him to quiver involuntarily as the pain subsided.
“You see?” said one of the scientists. “It’s over quickly. The first time is always the worst.”
“First time? You mean you’re going to bring me back here again?”
Despite his protests, they assured him that the treatment was necessary due his unique condition, but they would not explain what that condition was. They brought him back to the room and must have given him something because, panicked and in shock as he was, he fell immediately to sleep.
For the next treatment they did not bother waking him until he was strapped inside the machine. He yelled wildly as the rings began to rotate and the bursts coursed through his flesh once more. Tears poured down his face. But as they had promised, the level of penetration was slightly less than before. The beams of energy were wider and less intense. But it was still incredibly painful.
The Chronotrace Sequence- The Complete Box Set Page 2