by Alice Ward
Either Jake didn’t hear my sarcasm or he didn’t care. “See you guys later?” He pulled the keys from his pocket and dropped them in Trey’s waiting hand.
“Later, man.” Trey hopped into the driver’s seat and cracked his knuckles. I watched Jake disappear into the woods with Serenity and Coleen, both of the girls flipping their hair over their shoulders while giggling like cackling hens.
“He always does this.”
“What?” Trey turned to look at me.
“Bails on us. As soon as a pretty girl pops up...” It took everything inside me not to stomp my foot.
Trey lifted a shoulder and gave me a strange look, as if he was trying to look inside me. “That’s how he is. There’s nothing wrong with it.”
I bit my tongue and climbed into the front seat. I was getting dangerously close to revealing too much. In our small circle, we shared almost everything, but there were some things the three of us never talked about. Ever. And that was the love triangle going on between the three of us.
Correction… the unrequited love triangle going on between the three of us.
Technically, I wasn’t sure that either one of them knew how I felt about Jake. But I did know Trey’d had a crush on me since elementary school. I only merely suspected that he knew I had feelings for Jake. Or maybe he didn’t and I was just paranoid.
Gah.
Not that any of that mattered. Trey and I were just friends. And Jake and I? We had to be just that. I couldn’t allow anything to happen with him, not even if he might have been the slightest bit interested in me in return. Even one night of fun would ruin our friendship, and Jake wasn’t the kind of guy who did more than short flings.
And I wasn’t the kind of girl who wanted them. At least I didn’t think I did.
I turned my face away from the trail but kept it hidden from Trey as we slowly rode out of the parking lot.
“Want to order pizza and watch a movie?” he asked.
“I’m feeling kind of tired,” I lied. “Plus, I have my grandma’s birthday party tomorrow. I need to finish making her card.”
“Oh. Okay.”
Trey probably saw right through my pathetic excuses — it was just a matter of how much of the truth he saw. Did he know I was in a bad mood because Jake had shrugged us off so he could go hang out with some girls?
It wasn’t the first time this had happened, and it probably wouldn’t be the last. But it was the first time Jake’s leaving felt like a knife in my heart.
I’d spent the last several years battling a major crush on Jake. I’d done everything I could to try and get over him. I’d dated other guys. I’d thrown myself into school, work, and track. I’d done everything except the one thing that would have probably worked. I hadn’t ended our friendship.
And I never would.
Jake, Trey, and I understood each other in ways no one else could. When Jake moved to Weston, a newly orphaned ten-year-old, Trey and I were the only kids in our class to take him in. I couldn’t even explain what pulled us together. On that first day of school, we knew nothing about each other. Didn’t even know if we had anything in common. But none of that mattered. It was like some force was pulling us together. We were meant to be friends.
And nothing would ever screw that up. Especially not a stupid school girl crush. I had to constantly keep reminding myself of that, because if I didn’t, there was a chance I would do something I’d regret. And it would never be worth it.
Because I could never lose him.
If I did, I knew I’d never get over it.
CHAPTER THREE
Jake
Present Day…
I was never more aware of gravity in my whole life as I was in that moment. Skye Crawford. Time was frozen, and the entire weight of the universe pressed down onto me, threatening to break me. Threatening to kill me.
And yet somehow, I didn’t die. The moment went on and on as Skye and I just stood there looking at each other.
She’d hardly aged a day. Her hair, so dark brown it was almost black, shone in the light. It was much shorter now. Back in school, she’d worn it long, nearly down to her waist. Now, it ended inches below her shoulders but still carried the soft waves that were so familiar. Her lips were still full and pink and her skin looked smooth and soft. But her eyes were different. There was more in them than I remembered. More maturity. More pain.
Of course there was. And I was the reason for all of it.
“Mommy!” Jagger broke the spell by tugging on her hand. “Mom, can I have popcorn? I want popcorn.”
“Um,” Skye softly said, not taking her eyes off me.
“Mom!”
She shook her head as if emerging from a trance and looked down at him. Jagger. Her son. She was twenty-four years old and had a child. Somehow, stupidly, whenever I thought of Skye, I imagined her as I left her. Eighteen, wild, and free. Youthful and adventurous. Not the kind of person with a kid.
“Hold on, Jagg,” she said and rumpled the little boy’s already rumpled hair. “Just give me a minute.”
“Okay,” Jagger mumbled and turned to watch the baseball game while he fiddled with the hem of his shirt.
I searched for the right thing to say. There were so many options, but most of them weren’t appropriate. Not with a kid here. Hell, probably not ever. “You’re in New York City,” I found myself saying, the words sounding as dumb out loud as they had in my head.
Skye took in a long breath. As she did, her lips pressed tightly together and her face paled. “Yes. Jagg and I live in Washington Heights.”
“Ah.”
She licked her lips, then bit the lower one, struggling as much as I was about what to say. “I’m going to school here.”
I nodded and thrust a hand through my hair — to give my fingers something to do so I wouldn’t reach for her. “That’s good.”
“You?”
“I just moved here… two months ago. Not long after my deployment ended.”
Her eyes flickered again, and the pain behind them came to the surface. She blinked and looked down at her son. “Hm.”
The conversation was so stilted it was laughable, but I couldn’t do a damn thing to salvage it. I was in shock, blown away over seeing Skye in the flesh and blood. Since leaving Weston, I’d never returned. Not once. I never expected to set eyes on Skye again in my whole life. By some surge of luck — good or bad, I didn’t know — here she was.
“You look good.”
As soon as the words left my lips, I cringed. Was that me spouting the awful cliché? And to a girl who probably hated my guts and had always hoped she’d never see me again?
“Thanks.” Skye ran her hand through her hair, the silky pieces slipping through her fingers like water. I realized I was staring and made myself look back at her eyes. The second I did, though, I felt awful. Her green irises were cold and glassy.
“Skye!”
A man’s voice made me turn. A guy in a polo shirt jogged up the stairs to us. “Jagger!” he called as he got closer, looking relieved. “Where did you go?”
He dropped to his knee in front of Jagger and inspected the child’s face.
Jagger shrugged. “I’m sorry.”
“He just went the wrong way,” Skye explained, her voice sounding tired and strained.
The man ran his hand over his mouth. His eyes were wide and his face pale. “You scared us, bud.”
“I know. I’m sorry.” Jagg hung his head.
Skye cleared her throat. “Brad, this is… this is Jake Truman.”
She was probably trying to hide the resistance in her voice, but I could hear it nonetheless. Just saying my name hurt her. Six years had passed, and I still caused her pain. The realization hit like a screwdriver to the gut.
Brad straightened up and looked at me. Add the side-parted brown hair to the polo, and there was something uncannily prep school about him. “It’s nice to meet you.” Then he tilted his head to one side, his eyes narrowing. “Wait a minute�
�� the Jake Truman? Like the Forbes list of billionaires Jake Truman?”
Dammit. I knew I should have worn a cap. “Um, yep. That’s me.”
He reached over and shook my hand, a huge grin spreading over his face. I could feel Skye’s eyes on us, watching our every move.
Her husband?
I hadn’t noticed a ring on Skye’s hand. Then again, I hadn’t really looked. And if she had a child, the possibility of her being married wasn’t that far of a stretch.
The thought lit a ferocious fire in my stomach. I’d spent a lot of time thinking about Skye, but I never inserted a man into the images. Certainly I wasn’t good enough for her, but that didn’t mean any other man was either.
“We’re friends from high school,” Skye explained. “We grew up together in Weston.”
Brad’s eyes shifted from Skye to me. It would take someone with an IQ of close to zero to not sense the awkwardness in the air. His words were cheery though. “That’s nice. And you just ran into each other here?”
“He found Jagg.”
Brad looked at me with a new appreciation. “Really? Wow. Thank you, Jake. We were really worried there for a moment.”
Skye folded her arms tight against herself and let out a shuddering sigh. I could almost hear her thoughts. She was thinking about what might have happened if she hadn’t found her son. I didn’t have a child myself, but I knew what it was like to walk around with the fear of loss always hanging over your head.
Jagg groaned and turned back to us. “I want popcorn.”
“You haven’t been very good today,” Skye said, her voice growing stern. “You just went off by yourself.”
I cocked my head at her in interest. This disciplinarian was a new side to the girl I grew up with, one that I thought I’d never see.
“I’m sorry,” the little boy said again, misery dimming the light in his chocolate eyes.
Skye bit her bottom lip. “I know, honey. We’ll talk about it more when we get home.”
Hope blossomed across his expression and a dimple showed as he lifted one side of his mouth into a grin. “Can I please have some popcorn now?”
Brad ruffled Jagger’s hair. “I’ll take you, bud. As long as your mom says it’s all right.”
Skye nodded. “I’ll meet you guys back at our seats in a few minutes. Thanks, Brad.”
“No problem.” He grinned wide. “It was nice to meet you, Jake.”
“You two,” I said, but even to my own ears, the words were half-hearted. I watched him take Jagger’s hand and walk off toward the concession area. Across from me, Skye was silent.
“Your husband?” I finally asked. The very words burned my throat.
Skye blinked rapidly. “No. Just… a friend. I mean, we haven’t known each other for long. We’ve been out a few times.”
“Ah.” A boyfriend. That wasn’t as bad as a husband, but it still hurt to hear.
Not that Skye’s life was any of my business. I didn’t have any claim to her. I didn’t have any right to be asking her so much as one question. Not once since leaving Weston had I sought her out. But now here we were, standing right in front of each other. It didn’t seem like there was anything to do but ask questions.
“How have you been?” Skye asked the floor. A group of loud college kids appeared behind her, and one of the guys jostled her a little. I reached out a hand to steady her, and we both stepped to the side, closer to each other. Maybe I imagined it, but I thought she still smelled like she always used to. A mixture of lilacs and vanilla and something else fresh and light.
“Good,” I answered, the word just popping from my mouth automatically.
One of her eyebrows rose the slightest amount. It was a gesture I’d seen so many times before — one I’d almost forgotten. “The SEALs were good?”
I bit the tip of my tongue, not sure what to say. I hated talking about the past six years. For anyone who hadn’t seen combat, who hadn’t spent six years in a lifestyle that might as well have existed on another planet, there were things that were impossible to understand.
I swallowed and tried again. “Yeah. It was good.”
Still, I didn’t know what else to say. The entire run-in was still messing with my head. I couldn’t believe Skye was here, in real life, standing in front of me.
“I only looked away for a moment.” Skye pressed her folded arms hard against her chest, another gesture that was familiar. She looked as if she were cold, but it was eighty degrees out. Shaking her head, she stared at a spot to the side of me. “Just one second, and then he was gone.”
“It happens,” I said, grateful that the conversation had turned and fallen on Jagger. Talking about me and Skye was difficult. Any other topic was a relief. “Kids are like that. They’ll see something and then they’ll just go. How old is he?”
She licked her lips and her eyes met mine before flickering away again. “Five,” she said before looking back at me. The fear I’d seen earlier was back. She looked like a delicate doe caught in a car’s headlights. She sucked in her bottom lip and looked away.
“Exactly. It’s normal for them to dart off at that age. Of course, I don’t have a child, so I’m just going on what I’ve heard.”
Skye rubbed the spot between her eyebrows. “Yeah, I know, but I’m usually so good about keeping an eye on him.” She scoffed. “I’m more than good. I’m paranoid, I know. My parents are always telling me I need to calm down.”
I nearly grimaced at the memory of her strict parents. It was amazing that they were the ones to tell her to calm down.
“It’s understandable. Don’t be so hard on yourself.”
Her eyes briefly flicked back to mine, but the quick connection we made was… wrong. It was like lightning struck the ground between the two of us and made us shake from the force. My bones rattled and the hair on my arms stood at attention. Fear and pain. Pain and fear. I’d been living with those two demons for a long time. I guessed Skye had been too.
“Brad seems nice,” I offered, just because my mind was a muddled mess, and I couldn’t think of the right things to say. I dimly got the sense that I’d already said something about Brad being nice, but I couldn’t remember.
“Yeah. He is. He’s good with Jagg.”
I still couldn’t get over the fact that she had a child.
“Does his dad live in New York too?”
Skye’s lips parted and she stared at my throat as if she found my Adam’s apple fascinating. “Um...”
“Mom-meee!”
We both turned at the sound of Jagger’s voice. He walked a few rows away, a paper bag of popcorn in his hands while Brad tailed behind. Heat exploded in my face, and my gut twisted at the sight of Brad, but I ignored the sensations. I had no right to be a jealous asshole. I’d already had my chance with Skye. And blown it spectacularly.
“Come sit!” Jagger called out around the popcorn he was shoveling into his mouth.
Skye lifted a finger to signify she’d be there in a minute. She cleared her throat and turned back to me. “He doesn’t see his father. It’s a, uh, complicated...”
Maybe she was about to explain more, but words suddenly seemed to fail her. She rubbed at her temples like she had a headache and blinked fast. “I’m sorry. This is just blowing my mind, you know? Running into you like this… I never thought I’d see you again. And Jagger…” She sucked in her bottom lip, the whites of her eyes growing red.
My heart rate picked up. Skye’s eyes were all over the place, her mood erratic and unstable. She was coming undone right before me. Skye Crawford, cool girl extraordinaire, was rattled. I’d never seen her like this.
“I know. And you shouldn’t have to be put through this.”
She placed her hands on her hips and stared straight at me. “Don’t apologize, Jake. Please don’t do that. You didn’t… if you only knew...” She trailed off again and shook her head. Her eyes were full of water. A few more seconds and tears would cover her cheeks.
A heavy
sigh left my lungs. Fuck, fuck, fuck. It was all I could think. I wasn’t supposed to run into Skye. Things weren’t supposed to go this way. I chose the biggest freaking city in the country so I could be invisible within the crowd. Yet here we were…
I turned my head to look across the rows of seats, to where Jagger’s little head still bobbed. “He’s a good kid. You said he’s five?”
“Yes.” The word was like air leaking out of her lungs.
The hesitation was like a slap to my face. Just like that, I saw what I’d been missing in this whole conversation.
Brown hair and eyes.
The dimple.
His name. The one I’d always loved.
How could I have been so stupid? How could I have not seen what was right in front of me? Could it be…?
My voice shook as I let out my carefully chosen words. “When did you say his birthday was?”
Skye turned away, her hands pushing into her hair. “I’ve got to go.”
I grabbed her arm, my fingers sinking into her smooth flesh, turning her until she was facing me again. She didn’t pull away and I noticed the gooseflesh rise underneath my fingers. I waited until she looked up at me again. “Skye, when is Jagger’s birthday?”
The first tear fell, and I knew.
“February,” Skye whispered, but the word was unnecessary. The word rung out around us and hit my heart like a bullet.
Skye rubbed her eyebrows. “Jake...”
“February,” I repeated, this time in a stronger voice. “Skye.” I swallowed hard, wanting to run from the answer I already knew. “Who’s Jagger’s father?”
The second tear fell, followed by another, then more. She looked around, then down at the floor as if she wished it would open up and swallow her.
“Skye.”
She shook her head violently, her fingers moving to her temples again. “We can’t talk about this here.”
“Skye. Who… is… Jagger’s… father?”
Her eyes locked on mine, and all movement stopped. She exhaled, and the fear and hesitation seemed to blow out with the breath. She inhaled, and the panicked look was replaced by one of strength and decisiveness. “Tonight. Can you meet me tonight?”