by Alice Ward
Marcy shot me a dirty look, but nodded and walked Abigail away.
I ran my hands over my face, scrubbing the feel of her lips off of mine. There was only one girl I wanted to kiss. I turned back to Skye, but she was gone.
My heart gave a hard thump in my chest, and I ran to where I last saw her and searched the surrounding area. There. The ghost of a form stepped into the trees, swallowed by the darkness. I ran that way.
“Skye!”
I knew she could hear me, but she didn’t turn back, just headed for her little Sentra, the graduation present her parents had given her earlier today for graduating with high honors. The girl was damn smart.
“Skye!”
She unlocked the car and opened the door, but I was just feet away from her. She rounded on me, fury making her voice low, deadly quiet. “What? What do you want?”
I skidded to a halt. Skye had never spoken to me like that.
“Where’re you going?” I asked, my voice filled with hesitation.
She crossed her arms over her chest. “Anywhere but here.”
“Why?”
She snorted. “You’re so obtuse.”
I should have been insulted, but I wasn’t. She was right, I could be pretty thickheaded sometimes, especially when it came to woman-speak. “What am I obtuse about, Skye? Can you spell it out for me?”
She shook her head, hurried little movements that caused her hair to cascade into her face. She pushed it back, except for a strand glued to her lip gloss.
I reached out, and she flinched away. Flinched. She’d never been hesitant around me. She was touchy-feely to an extreme. I went ahead and pulled the hair away, then laid both hands on her shoulders. “Hey, tell me what’s wrong.”
Her eyes filled with tears, and she blinked rapidly, but several escaped. I’d seen Skye cry before. Sad movies. Happy movies. Sad news. Happy news. Hallmark cards. Girl shit. But I’d never seen her cry because of… what?
Because of me?
I pulled her to my chest, listening to her cry, feeling her tears soak through my shirt. “I feel like I’m never going to see you again,” she finally said, her voice hitching. “Everything is changing and it breaks my heart.”
Squeezing her tighter to me, I made soothing noises in her hair and said the words that wanted to choke me. “You still have Trey. He’ll be here. He’ll always be here for you.”
It only made her cry harder for some reason. I tried again.
“Skye, is this about that kiss?” Her shoulders shook harder, so I took that as a yes. “Don’t worry about it. It was the heat of the moment. It meant nothing.”
The shaking stopped, and she raised her head so fast she caught me right under the chin. My teeth clicked together, and I saw stars.
“Nothing,” she scoffed and pushed me away. “It meant nothing to you?”
She went to get into her car, but I hauled her back, my arm around her waist. I snatched the keys from her hands, and she fought me. Skye Crawford turned into a Tasmanian devil right before my eyes and started beating on my chest, my shoulders, my arms.
“Let me go!” she raged, and I did the only thing I could think of. I tossed her keys as far as I could throw them. She shrieked and punched me in the arm before stalking in the direction they’d gone.
“Skye, stop. You’re acting like a crazy person.”
She whirled on me. “Then how about you go back to Abigail. She’s perfect. I’m sure she doesn’t have a crazy bone in her entire bendy body.”
I watched her stalk off again. Was she jealous? She’d seen me with other girls dozens of times. I went after her. “What did that mean? And sorry if I’m being obtuse again, but I’d really appreciate if you said what’s in your mind nice and slow.”
She growled and pulled out her phone. I held my hands out expecting her to throw it at me. Instead, she used it as a flashlight to search for her keys.
“You. Are. An. Im-be-cile. Is that slow enough for you?”
“An obtuse imbecile. Anything else you want to add to that list?”
She whirled on me and laughed with a ho-ho-ho sound, her shoulders jerking left and right with the effort. “Do I ever. Let’s see. You’re a…” she took a deep breath, “myopic, skirt chasing, miserable douche waffle, whiney turd licking rich boy, man whore who can’t see three inches past his nose and wouldn’t have enough sense to know what to do with what’s in front of him if he could!”
I stared at her in awe.
“Douche waffle?”
She growled at me and turned around, stomping off to continue her search. I followed her, grabbed her arm, and turned her around.
“What. Is. Wrong. With. You?” I grabbed her phone and stuffed it in my pocket, my fingers digging into her biceps. “I am all those things and probably hundreds more. I’m fucked up in the head. You’ve known that for years. Why is it bothering you now?”
She struggled to get away, but I wouldn’t let her go.
“Why, Skye? Tell me. I don’t understand.”
“Because I love you,” she screamed in my face. “Dammit. I love you, okay. And you’re just leaving. You’re kissing other girls while I watch and…” she burst into another round of tears.
I pulled her into my chest, finding it very hard to breathe. She loved me? Like loved-loved me? Total and pure joy came over me. She love-loves me. Skye Crawford love-loves me. Then a mental cloud descended, turning everything dark. She can’t love-love me. She has to love-love Trey. If she doesn’t, she’ll break his heart.
“You can’t possibly love me, Skye.”
That was apparently a terrible thing to say. She kicked me in the shin then yanked away, heading into the dark woods at a run.
I hobbled after her, then took off in a limping sprint as I lost sight of her past a row of trees. I couldn’t let her get away. She didn’t have her car. Her phone. “Skye!”
Catching a glimpse of her, I headed that way, then bore down, kicking up speed. She was fast, but I was faster and finally caught up. I caught her arm with one hand, her hair with the other. Not wanting to hurt her, I forced her to slow down more gently than my instincts insisted I should.
Because my instincts told me to jerk her to the ground and fuck her the way we both wanted.
I ignored my mind, my body. My dreams and desires. They couldn’t matter in this. I was leaving and Trey wanted her. Trey would be better for her. He would never hurt her like I was hurting her now.
Still crying, I took her face between my hands and backed her up until she was pressed into a tree.
“Skye, baby. Talk to me. I can’t stand seeing you hurting like this. You’re breaking my heart.”
That made her cry harder, and I pulled her into my chest. Her arms snaked around my waist, her hands moving under my shirt, touching my skin.
Fire shot through me, seizing me by the balls. She felt so good against me like this. Like two pieces of a puzzle that fit perfectly together. A matched pair.
“I’m sorry,” she cried against my chest. “I didn’t mean those things. I… I…” She shook her head, and I kissed her hair, wondering if she meant that she really didn’t love me. The thought hurt like pure and total hell.
“All those things are true, except the douche waffle. I’ll have to get back with you on that one when I figure out what it means.”
She laughed, and it was a beautiful sound.
“And for the record, I’m sorry too,” I continued, my hands running up and down her back.
She sniffed. “You don’t have a reason to be sorry. I’m the crazy person, remember.”
I kissed her hair. When she turned her face up to look at me, I kissed her nose, her forehead. “Skye, we can’t do this.”
“Why? Don’t you find me attractive?”
“Dear god, no. That’s not it at all.” I slammed my mouth shut.
“Then why, Jake. Why can’t we be together like this?”
The moon broke from the clouds high above and shined its radiance down o
nto her face. I knew this face so well, had seen it cry and laugh a thousand times. Watched her wrinkle her nose a million times. Chew her bottom lip a trillion times. I knew every inch and expression.
I couldn’t lie to this face, and maybe she needed a gentle shove in Trey’s direction. Maybe she felt something similar toward him too.
“Because Trey wants this with you,” I whispered, and her breath hitched in her throat.
“Trey? No.” She shook her head as if to clear it. “It’s just a crush. We’ve all known that for years.”
“No, Skye. It’s much more than that. He loves you, and he wants to see how things could be between the two of you after I leave.”
Her head continued to shake, as if the movement was its own denial of the truth. “But… I don’t want him, Jake. Not like that.” Her hands moved up my spine, caressing my bare skin, her body pressing more fully against mine. “I want you.”
I want you too.
“It would break his heart, Skye.”
Her eyes filled with fresh tears. “You’re breaking mine. Does that not matter?”
My hands moved to the sides of her face, capturing it between my palms. “Mine’s been broken for a while now, so yeah, it matters. Nobody deserves to feel like this.”
“Why has your heart been broken?”
I just needed to tell her the truth. “I’m in love with you too, Skye, but I could never act on it because of our friendship. Because of Trey.”
“Oh.”
“Do you see how impossible this is? Why I need to go? If you and I ended up together, it would kill him. Dead. Don’t you see that?”
“So he means more to you than I do?” she asked quietly.
My heart sank. I wasn’t saying this right. “No, of course not.”
A tear fell, and I brushed it away with my thumb. “What about what I want? Does that not matter?”
I frowned down at her, seeing the dilemma. “Of course it does.”
Her fingernails bore into my skin, and she clung to me as she seemed to be thinking something through. “Then one night. Give me one night, Jake. Then you can leave, and I’ll stay and see what the future brings. Nobody ever needs to know but us.”
My dick grew thick in my pants. I’d dreamed of her saying something close to exactly this so many times. Would it be so wrong? “Skye—”
“Please, Jake. I want to know how it feels to be with you. Please don’t make me wonder about it my whole life. When you leave, my heart won’t be any more broken than it already is, so this won’t change anything. I won’t be hysterical or try to hold you back. I just need to know if being with you is even close to how it is in my dreams.” She pressed against me, my cock throbbing against her stomach. “Aren’t you curious?”
Yes. Yes, I was.
My mouth came down on hers, and she moaned against my lips. The electricity was back. That sense of rightness I’d never felt with anyone else. Didn’t think was possible even now as I experienced it.
I walked her backwards until she was against a tree, grabbed her hands and held them over her head with one fist. Her heart was beating hard against my hand as I cupped her breast in my palm.
No, not here.
This was Skye, and I couldn’t use her like this. In the woods. Against a tree.
Scooping her into my arms, I headed for my tent. Inside, I laid her down on the air mattress and zipped up the tent before turning on the small battery operated lamp. I wanted to see her, be able to commit every second to memory.
When I joined her on the mattress, our mouths came together with an ease that made me smile against her lips. This was Skye. It had always been easy between us.
Her lips opened for me, her tongue tangling with mine. I was hard. I wanted her, but I also wanted to take my time and appreciate this moment I never thought I would get.
Shouldn’t be getting now.
I pushed the thought away and deepened the kiss as her hands pushed my shirt up my chest. We broke apart only long enough to toss the shirt away. Then her fingers were on my shoulders, my arms, my back, my stomach, as if she were a blind person, reading braille.
“I want to remember everything about you,” she whispered against my lips as her fingers traced over my face.
We spent nearly an hour just exploring each other’s bodies. I laid on my back while she kissed every inch. What was happening between us was reverent, almost spiritual as we worshiped and honored each other.
I took my time taking her clothes off, revealing her perfect skin an inch at a time. I tasted her, stroking my tongue up her legs, up her arms, her belly. Her sex. I absorbed every cry and moan as I suckled at her breasts.
When I knew I could wait no more, I rolled on a condom and hovered over her, my cock at her entrance. This was the moment of no return. I could stop now and leave us both with some small amount of dignity.
She saw my hesitation and cupped my face with both of her warm palms. “I want it to be you, Jake.”
I’d known she was a virgin, but her words confirmed it. It made me both proud and ashamed.
Could I really do this? Take her innocence and then leave without looking back? Leave her to be with my best friend, who deserved this moment so much more than I did.
She arched her hips up, and the head of my cock slipped inside her. “Please, Jake. Give me this. I love you. Please.”
Just this one night, I promised myself before jerking my hips and crashing my mouth down on hers to capture her scream as our bodies joined for the first and last time.
Then I made love to her. In a way, this was my first time too. First time making love. First time being this gentle, giving more than I took.
When she came, tears burned the back of my eyes at how very beautiful she looked. I seared the moment into my brain.
And when I came, we laid together for a very long time, our bodies connected, our mouths connected, both unwilling to let the moment end.
“I love you, Jake.”
“I love you, Skye.”
Her thumb traced my lower lip. “I’ll never forget you. Not for as long as I live.”
I just kissed her again, knowing I’d never forget her either.
When I swelled inside her again, when I began to move inside her again, I knew my life would never be the same. As she came and I followed her off that cliff a second time, I wondered if I could really leave her.
How could I leave her?
And if I didn’t, what would happen to Trey?
CHAPTER TWENTY
Skye
Present Day…
“When will Daddy be here? Huh. Huh. Huh.”
With every “huh,” Jagger bounced on my bed. Then turned a flip with a “ta-da!” at the end, a silly grin on his face.
I laughed. I really did need to get him in some gymnastic classes soon. If nothing else, it would be a release of all this energy. The kid could run circles around me all day long.
“He’ll be here soon. Are you ready for another birthday trip? Is there one special place you really, really want to go?”
He turned another flip. “I don’t care. I just want to go somewhere with you and Daddy. This family thing is so cool.”
It was cool.
Being careful with my words, I sat down on the bed, and pulled Jagg down beside me. It had been a week since our skydiving adventure, and we’d seen Jake nearly every day. While I went to work, he’d come hang out with our son, giving Cadence more time to pursue some new relationship that she was being very closemouthed about.
That was unusual. Normally, we talked about our day like gossipy schoolgirls as we gave details about our dates or talked through our feelings about everything. But now, when I asked her about this new guy, Ian, she’d just blushed and shrugged, promising to talk about him more later.
“He’s complicated,” she said to me once.
I’d raised an eyebrow. “More complicated than Jake?”
“He’s… um, very intense,” Cadence had hedged, but wouldn�
�t go on to say what that meant. I’d have to drag the truth out of her someday soon. “Like I said, it’s complicated.”
God help her if Ian was as bad as Jake. As much time as we’d spent together, he still hadn’t spent the night. When I asked him to stay, he’d get this faraway look in his eyes and tell me it wasn’t a good idea. If I pressed, he’d close up completely.
“Is he here yet?” Jagg whined, bringing my attention back to him.
I rumpled his hair. “He’ll be here soon, I promise. You really like him, don’t you?”
Jagger began bouncing up and down on his butt, causing the bed to shake. I was glad that I’d washed the quilt covering my queen-sized mattress — again. At the rate Jake and I were going, I needed to buy several new sheet sets, and a couple new quilts. I peered down at the floor. And maybe a new rug. I’d probably be abhorred if the police came and blacklighted my bedroom.
“Yeah. I always wanted a dad, but I never ever thought it would be this awesome.”
“Well, he’s pretty crazy for you.”
Jagger rolled his eyes, reminding me exactly of me. “Of course he is.” He pushed his sweaty hair back from his forehead and flashed me a grin. “I’m charming, you know.”
I laughed and poked a finger in his ribs. He giggled wildly, rolling backwards until he got away from my tickling fingers. “I’m so impressed with your modesty,” I quipped, and he giggled again.
“I’m full of a lot of things,” he said, bouncing again. “Miss Carpenter said I was full of snakes and snails.” He pulled up his shirt and looked down at his belly. “I asked her if I needed to see a doctor but she said no, that snakes and snails were what all little boys were made of and that I just had more than most but that it wasn’t a bad thing because I was charming and all the little girls someday would be in trouble and their dads would have to sit on their porches with shotguns.”
He sucked in a deep breath, and I laughed again, love flooding through me so fast and hard, I felt my chest ache with it. “Miss Carpenter is very funny. I bet she’ll miss you when you go off to kindergarten.” Erin Carpenter had been Jagg’s preschool teacher these past two years.