by Alice Ward
“Hello?”
“Hi, Blaire, honey.”
“Hi, Mom.”
“You sound upset. Is something wrong?”
“What? Oh! No, I just...” Thought it was a hot, bronzed sex god calling.
“Is it because of work? How’s it going with Evie’s cousin? Michael is it? Did he get you anything? You know, I saw an ad in the paper this morning about pet sitting. I thought to myself that might be something fun you could do. Just to fill your time.”
I yanked my legs back over the couch and sat up straight. “That sounds nice,” I lied, not interested in pet sitting in the slightest but also not wanting to hurt her feelings. “But I don’t think I have time for that. Michael has been really helpful. Actually, he’s gotten me something. I’m working for him now.”
“Oh, honey! That’s great.”
“Yeah, it is.”
“What is it?”
“It’s a... a secretary job in his office.” I crossed my fingers to offset the lie.
“That sounds nice, Blair. Wait, but when did you start?”
“Um, well it’s kind of been a while. It’s just part-time, that’s why I didn’t tell you.”
A short silence followed.
“But I don’t understand,” she finally said, sounding hurt and confused. “Why not?”
“Because...” I sucked in a sharp breath. Oh God. I’d gone too far. Why, oh why was I lying to my mother?
Because she worried too much, that’s why, and I didn’t need to be another thing on her list of stuff to worry about. Putting literal miles between us was supposed to help with both her anxiety and my independence.
So I was telling her what she needed to think. I’d gotten good at that during my years in the army, when my occupation had made her even more anxious about my well-being. I was good at twisting things, leaving out bits and pieces of information while not full-out lying. I was shamefully good at it.
I was also telling her what I needed her to think. Making up a story about work was a new thing for me. Actually, to be blunt, it was a big lie, but at least it came with good intentions. At least my mom might be able to calm down, might stop texting me every other day to see how the job hunt was going.
“I thought you might not think it was a good enough job,” I dumbly finished. “Since it’s just a secretarial position. I didn’t want you to think that I was settling or something like that.”
She made a tittering noise. “No, I don’t think that... I mean... it’s good, Blaire. It sounds nice, but I just wonder what it is you really want to do. Do you have any idea?”
I studied the manicure I’d gotten to match the pedi. I wanted to take a break. That’s what I wanted to do. Life had been non-stop since I was fifteen, first with my dad dying and me having to step up to the plate and help my mom through, and then with joining the army right out of high school.
All along the way, I’d been trying to figure out just who I was.
I felt like I was getting closer, especially with all of the recent events in my life, but I still had my doubts.
“I’m figuring it out.”
So at least that statement contained nothing but truth.
“That’s fine, Blaire. You’ve already done so much. It can be good to take some time to do that. Find yourself, as they say, you know?”
“Yeah,” I agreed. “True.”
“When are you coming to see me?”
“Um, this weekend, maybe? I’m volunteering at the orphanage most Saturdays now.”
“That’s good,” she murmured. “That’s good. Well, what are you doing tonight?”
“I’m...” Thinking about keeping another thing from you... for some reason.
But I couldn’t. The best and newest thing happening in my life was Cristiano. I wanted to climb up the city’s tallest skyscraper and shout about it from the rooftops.
“I’m having dinner at this guy’s house.”
“Really?”
“Really. Really.”
“One of Derek’s friends?”
“Oh. Uh, no.” Damn. I hadn’t even told her about us breaking up.
“One of Evie’s friends?”
“No, just someone I know. Someone I met at the orphanage.”
“And what does Derek think of that?”
“We’re not together anymore, so he’s got nothing to think about it.”
“Oh...”
“It just happened.”
I could almost hear her heart breaking over the line.
I sighed. “Mom, I’m not trying to keep things from you. I’m sorry if it seems like that. There’s just been a lot going on lately, and everything is happening at once.”
“New job, new boyfriend... I know you have your own life, Blaire, I just... it’s my own fault, really. I guess I forgot that you’re not seventeen anymore.”
I bit my bottom lip, wishing I could go back in time and call her the day before, and the day before that. I wished I hadn’t been such a bad daughter the last couple weeks.
“Cristiano’s not my boyfriend,” I said softly, keeping to myself the fact that I hoped one day he would be. “We haven’t known each other that long.”
“What’s he like?” she asked, sounding more cheerful.
“He’s...” There were no words.
Mom chuckled. “If you’re speechless, then I know he has to be something special.”
“Yeah,” I slowly said, smiling. “I think so, but we’ll see.”
“I guess I should let you go. I need to get a move on anyway. Lee Ann is picking me up. We’re going to the new yoga class at the senior center.”
“That sounds nice. Hey, Mom, I’m sorry that I’ve been kind of MIA. I’ll come and see you soon. I promise.”
“Okay, honey,” she softly said. “I can’t wait.”
“Bye. I love you.”
“I love you.”
I hung up, my ears buzzing.
***
The blue dot appeared on my GPS’s screen, signaling the found destination.
“Sweet,” I breathed, doing one last check. “Purse... phone...”
I turned my car on and pulled out of the parking garage and onto the street, into the hazy twilight. The flow of traffic got steadier, carrying me towards downtown. I turned up the music and tapped my finger on the steering wheel, feeling giddier with each block.
Surely it was a good sign that Cristiano asked me to his place the very next day after we hooked up. Though Evie and I basically had a whole conversation about the biology of sex, and getting attached to men too soon, and whatnot, I didn’t regret my decision to have sex with him. Hands down, it felt like one of the most right things I’d ever done.
I was trying to not be all romantic about the situation, but damn, it was hard. The play by play of the night before that I’d given Evie over the phone after hanging up with my mom hadn’t helped. By the time I left my place for Cristiano’s, my body burned to be touched by his.
I signaled to join the turning lane to the left and looked into my rearview mirror to make sure the way was clear. Seeing it was, I nudged my way into my spot.
Hold on.
I glanced back up and into the mirror. That black SUV. It had been behind me when I turned just a few minutes before.
And hadn’t there also been a black SUV behind me when I first got on the road? Was it the same SUV?
I shook my head. It was a coincidence, that was all. There were probably a thousand black SUVs in the greater Chicago area. The real question I needed to ask myself was why was I being paranoid enough to think I was being followed.
I’m not being followed. That’s crazy. There’s no reason for anyone to follow me.
But still the muscles in my shoulders remained bunched together, and my stomach coiled like a snake preparing to attack.
I’d been in the army for too long — for the majority of my adult life so far, to be specific. I could walk around dressing and acting like a civilian all I liked, but the truth w
as that I was more soldier than anything else. I’d been trained to look at my surroundings in a certain way, to always be hyper-aware, and that would never go away.
And it was good.
I glanced into the rearview mirror again. The SUV was still there, but two cars behind me now.
Again. There was no reason for anyone to follow me. No reason that I knew of.
I turned the music down, hoping that lowering the volume in the car would help me think better.
It didn’t. My mind still spun like a cyclone, a fit of ideas and anxieties. None of my hypotheses really made sense, of course.
I still couldn’t think of any legit reason for anyone to follow me.
Fully into the downtown area, the GPS directed me to take a right. For a couple seconds, I thought about not doing it. If I was being followed, then I didn’t want whoever was in that SUV to know where I was going. Maybe they planned on jumping me the second I climbed out of my car. Maybe they were going to beat me up and steal everything I had, right down to my shoes.
Making a split second choice, I drove past Cristiano’s road, continuing to go straight. The GPS’s voice direction protested, telling me to turn on the next street. I ignored it and kept going straight. Two blocks later, the black SUV turned off to the left, disappearing around a high-rise.
I breathed a sigh of relief and then took the next right, making a circle and going back to Cristiano’s building. I was just being paranoid.
His block was lined with cars, but he’d told me to pull up to the front of his building and let the valet handle my car.
An apartment with valet service. Now that was something new. I’d been to apartment buildings that had doormen, of course, but never to one where my car was parked for me.
Two doormen in matching black suits and white gloves stood at attention underneath a red awning. I pulled up to the blocked off spot in front of them, then put the car in park but kept it running. Hesitantly, I opened my door just enough for me to get out but not enough for it to be smashed by passing traffic.
“Um, I’m here to see Cristiano Leventis,” I said in what I hoped was a confident voice but probably wasn’t even close.
One of the doormen was already coming forward though, a firm but pleasant smile on his face. “Yes, Ms. Daniels,” he nodded. “May I park your car for you?”
“Oh, y-yeah,” I stuttered, surprised that he knew my name.
I grabbed my purse then handed the keys over and got out of the way. The second doorman held the building’s front door open, the smile on his face matching that of his twin’s.
“Thanks,” I told him, stepping into the marble foyer. From behind a long desk, a concierge stood.
“Miss Daniels.” He nodded.
I stared at him and blinked. Okay, how did they all know my name? Obviously, they were expecting me, but was I the only guest dropping by the building all night or something?
“Hello,” I muttered back.
He smiled and spread his palm to gesture towards the elevator. There, waiting for my arrival, was another finely suited man. He pressed the button to open the elevator, and the gilded doors slid open.
I didn’t know which to be more impressed with: the fact that it took four people just to man the front door of Cristiano’s building, or the fact that they all knew me by sight.
Feeling more awkward by the second, I walked jerkily into the elevator. The operator did his job — but really, was his job even necessary? — and took us soaring up.
The floor numbers ticked by, the elevator taking us all the way to the top floor. The doors slid open in that beautiful way that made it seem like even they were special — not ordinary elevator doors, but some kind of imported ones from a tiny European country most people had probably never heard of.
“Thank you,” I told the operator, wondering if I was supposed to tip him or not. Making the wrong decision either way seemed incredibly rude. I didn’t want to give the building’s staff the wrong impression of me or have them talk smack about me to Cristiano later.
I fumbled to open my clutch, but the handle stuck. Dang vintage. The clothes were great, but the accessories had a way of unexpectedly giving out sometimes.
“You’re very welcome,” the hotel operator said, stepping back and turning away from me slightly.
Oh, well. Maybe he’ll think I’m a sleazy call girl and not expect me to tip him, I humorously thought.
I stepped over the threshold, the clicks from my high heels echoing loudly in the long hallway. The elevator closed behind me, and I spun around, something occurring to me last second.
“Wait!”
The man was gone though, and all before I’d gotten a chance to ask him which apartment was Cristiano’s. I started to pull my phone out. I hadn’t gotten an apartment number from him with his address, so I would just have to call him.
My fingers wrapped around the phone, I stopped. There were no doors in the hallway.
Wait. That couldn’t be right.
I turned to my left. There was a door.
I looked to my right. Nothing. Just the blank end of the hallway.
So there was only one option. Did Cristiano live on the entire floor?
“Damn,” I cursed under my breath. What the heck could one person do with so much space? Other than install that private gym he’d already mentioned, of course.
I stepped up to the door, wondering what lay beyond the walls passing me. A massage room? A meditation room? A music studio, put in just in case Cristiano one day got the idea to start a rock band?
By the time I got to the door and knocked, I stopped wondering. Butterflies fluttered in my stomach, filling me up with an unexpected queasiness. Despite what had already happened between us, I was still both excited and nervous to see Cristiano.
The door flew open, and there he was, a white button-up tucked into a pair of dark blue dress pants, his thick waves swept messily to one side. His amber eyes shone, and one corner of his mouth turned up.
“Hi,” I breathed.
“Hi.”
His arm swiftly wrapped around me, pulling me close. I tensed at first, surprised at the sudden embrace, but a second later, I was relaxing in his arms. His kiss swallowed me up, making me go limp like a paper doll. All nervousness transmuted into something even more powerful. Desire filled me.
Please, please, please take my clothes off right here and now.
He wouldn’t even need to worry about shutting the door. It wasn’t like anyone was going to come up to his private floor.
But instead, he broke the kiss off and stepped away. “You look beautiful. That dress is lovely.”
“Thank you.” I licked my lips, still sweet from our kissing.
“Come in.”
I did as he asked, taking just a few steps into the foyer. For such a long hallway, the space we stood in was surprisingly small. Perhaps his home wasn’t that big after all, and most of the top floor merely sat as empty space.
“Did you have any trouble finding the place?”
“Oh no, not at all. It was pretty easy.”
The black SUV briefly flashed in my mind. I definitely wasn’t going to mention it to Cristiano. There was no need for us to start things out with him wondering if I might be legitimately crazy.
I opened my mouth, thinking that instead, I’d ask why all the staff recognized me. Right before the words came out, I changed my mind. It was their job to know guests. They knew what time I’d been scheduled to arrive, and maybe Cristiano even showed them a picture of me that he’d gotten off Facebook or something. Suddenly, I felt slightly classless for even being impressed.
“It’s a beautiful night,” I said instead. “Have you been out? The temperature is perfect.”
Cristiano smiled. “No, I haven’t. I’ve been in all afternoon. If it’s so nice, maybe we should go out later.” Placing his hand on the small of my back, he steered me towards an arched doorway. Two short steps took us down into a hallway with doors branching off in
both directions. Cristiano chose the one closest to us, taking me into an immaculate and shiny kitchen full of stainless steel. What smelled like peppers filled the air.
“I was just getting dinner started,” he explained, going to the kitchen island and pulling out a stool for me. “Would you like a drink?”
“Sure,” I smiled at him and took the offered seat. The cushion was so high up I almost had to climb to get into it, but once I was there, I sat up rail straight and crossed my legs, doing my best to act like a dignified lady. I’d gone for a divergence from my usual style that night, opting for high heels and a black cocktail dress. It had been a while since I went on a date where I really dressed up, and I’d felt like going all out.
Cristiano pulled open a cabinet to reveal several shelves full of liquor bottles.
“Wow,” I commented. “Looks like you have a full bar.”
He chuckled. “Close. It’s not really for me though. I have meetings at home a lot and sometimes, especially if celebration is in order, a fresh bottle of whiskey is called for... and of course, I entertain here. What would you like?”
I thought about it. “Gin and tonic?”
“Coming right up.” He winked at me and then grabbed a glass tumbler from another cabinet. With fluid and sure movements, he mixed my drink in no time and then set it in front of me. Instead of going to check on dinner, though, he stayed perched at the corner of the island and gazed down at me.
“I’m glad you’re here,” he said, his voice causing my belly to tingle.
I literally felt my chest swell from the joy ballooning in it. I tried to respond, but my throat had become incredibly dry. Needing to do something, I took a small sip of my drink. The sound the glass made on the counter as I put it back down seemed obnoxiously loud.
Cristiano’s pupils dilated and his hand slowly — perhaps tentatively — lifted. The very tips of his fingers brushed against my hair, smoothing it at the spot above my ear. Elation flooded my chest once more, even stronger this time.
“Me too,” I managed to croak, after realizing I hadn’t said anything yet. “I’m glad to be here too.”
That sultry hint of a smile popped up on his face. At the same time, a smokiness hit my nose.
“It smells like something’s burning.”